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Savory seasonings stimulate the appetite.
June 22, 2009 2:29 AM Subscribe

Gastrosexuals are masculine, upwardly mobile men, aged 25-44, who are passionate about cooking and the rewards that it might bring – pleasure, praise and potential seduction. A test for the gastrosexual.

A gastrosexual on the sexiest food: Bread... bread making allows you to get stuff on you so it's fine to be touched. A woman gives herself permission to touch your flour "stains" and point them out to you (as if I don't know they're there). If flour is on your nose or cheek, all the better: innocent touches hold the promises of lost innocence to come...

posted by bigmusic (77 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

This is arse. Some marketer is trying to take something I like to do, process it, and sell it back to me. Luckily, I haven't paid attention to this sort of thing for a while, and having regretted the last 45 seconds, it'll be a long time before I do so again. I suppose I ought to thank you for what amounts to a PR vaccination for middle-aged foodies.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 2:41 AM on June 22, 2009 [13 favorites]

Marketing dross. And male celebrity chefs/foodies are hardly new...
posted by kmennie at 2:56 AM on June 22, 2009

When I hear the words upwardly mobile, I reach for my revolver.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:02 AM on June 22, 2009 [13 favorites]

When I hear the suffix "osexual" added to something, I reach for my revolver.
posted by HuronBob at 3:14 AM on June 22, 2009 [9 favorites]

Pepsigastro!
posted by pharm at 3:23 AM on June 22, 2009

While all this is obviously more kinds of bullshit than I even knew existed, I must say the design of that gastrosexual.com is slick.
posted by mhjb at 3:23 AM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

When I hear the opening to "The Splendid Table", I reach for my Revolver-- because I'd rather listen to transitional Beatles than the super-precious warblings of Lynne Rossetto Kasper any weekend.
posted by maryh at 3:24 AM on June 22, 2009 [6 favorites]

(Sorry bigmusic, but the two links to a blatant marketing site just smelled wrong.)
posted by pharm at 3:24 AM on June 22, 2009

All this marketing is making me hungry!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:24 AM on June 22, 2009

When I hear everyone's reaching for their revolvers, I reach for my revolver. You know, just to be safe.

But yeah, seconding Joe's Spleen. I mean, there is actually some potentially interesting stuff in the link, but it's so padded by bumpf, made-up jargon, generalisations and arbitrary categorizations that I actually feel like I'm learning less about the subject just by reading it... still, it's kind of an interesting glimpse into a world I never want to enter.

[Also, please mark when you link to a PDF! It can bog down browsers.]
posted by teresci at 3:27 AM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'd put 'gastrosexual' on the same word-pile as 'bromance' and 'staycation.'
posted by Cantdosleepy at 3:27 AM on June 22, 2009 [19 favorites]

I can't wait to see the NY Times article on this amazing phenomenon. In eight months.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 3:33 AM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]

This is 29 pages, largely of the bleeding obvious. I work in this space, and deal with stuff like this on a daily basis. It's what we call a "bicycle ride" - a pleasant enough trip through a topic but doesn't actually get you very far.

It's not a particularly big deal that they christen the term "gastrosexual", although it's misleading and a desperate attempt from some market researcher to coin a new term. "Metrosexual" vaguely made sense as a play on words. Gastrosexual sorta implies putting root vegetables where they were never supposed to go (with fish? - are you some kind of culinary heathen?).

Anyway, back on the point: Actually the market dynamic / market driverish stuff is appreciated by clients who like to know basic stuff like how often men cook and why, or what the generational differences are.

My problem is that despite five "experts" - and in my experience journalists and academics are rarely experts on real life marketing strategy - weighing in on the topic, not one tells food manufacturers or retailers what they are supposed to do about this trend. The most interesting aspect of the trend is that a) men are having to cook more and b) men want to cook more, but the outputs for marketing and NPD strategy are quite different. By not pulling those trends apart and mainly focusing on the weekend Gordon Ramsay they are missing the point.

If men really are cooking more during the week, then they're more likely to have an impact on the shopping process, where the ramifications are pretty important. If marketers need to think more carefully about pushing their brands onto men's shopping lists then that's a finding. If men choose different products or recipes, or tend to buy premium, or want to buy things that are a little more prepared so they can concentrate on "creating" then marketers can take that away and start doing something about it.

This analysis, in my view, doesn't give you much of that insight and is pretty half baked.
posted by MuffinMan at 3:36 AM on June 22, 2009 [6 favorites]

implies putting root vegetables where they were never supposed to go (with fish?...

Hey! Jimmy Page and Robert Plant were the first gastrosexuals!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:48 AM on June 22, 2009

Gastrosexual

Neolojism
posted by kid ichorous at 4:03 AM on June 22, 2009 [15 favorites]

enough already with the ____sexual meme
posted by caddis at 4:07 AM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

"Gastrosexual" sounds like someone who's turned on by colostomies.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:07 AM on June 22, 2009 [12 favorites]

When I hear the words upwardly mobile, I reach for my revolver.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:02 PM on June 22

When I hear the suffix "osexual" added to something, I reach for my revolver.
posted by HuronBob at 6:14 PM on June 22

Metafilter: Reaching for my revolver since 1999.
posted by the cydonian at 4:27 AM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

...and is pretty half baked.

posted by MuffinMan at 6:36 AM on June 22

Ha! Eposty.. Epony... Enospy... aw heck! Well you know what I mean...
posted by bitteroldman at 4:52 AM on June 22, 2009

I thought gastrosexuals were people who are only into navel-fucking.
posted by dunkadunc at 4:59 AM on June 22, 2009

So, does making waving cucumbers around suggestively count as gastrosexual? Cuz I can do that.
posted by orme at 5:02 AM on June 22, 2009

"Ha! Eposty.. Epony... Enospy... aw heck! Well you know what I mean..."

heh...yeah, I was going to use that word (whatever the hell it is...) in a post yesterday...spent five minutes trying to search for it and couldn't come close enough to find it... so I used the fall back (irony) instead....

it sucks to be ~~old ignorant stupid~~ a bad speller...
posted by HuronBob at 5:03 AM on June 22, 2009

"waving cucumbers around suggestively"

I think you want to use a "poke" more than a "wave" to really get that across correctly... The "wave" image is a bit, well, odd....
posted by HuronBob at 5:04 AM on June 22, 2009

This is total bullshit marketing, done by PurAsia, an Asian food label. The report, if you notice, was curiously enough done by these guys, a subsidiary of these guys.

Just another marketing niche to sell into...
posted by mkultra at 5:31 AM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

*decides to have his name changed from Gaston O'Sexual to something a little safer *
posted by pracowity at 5:41 AM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]

ARE YOUR TEENS GASTROSEXTING AT THE RAINBOW PARTIES? AND WHICH METROSEXUAL FOODIE IS RIGHT FOR YOUR BUDGET? ALL THIS AND CHARLIE WITH SPORTS, TONIGHT ON METAFILTER
posted by Greg Nog at 5:48 AM on June 22, 2009 [9 favorites]

And for those of us who get off by dressing in bushy beards and khaki uniforms? We few, we happy few, we Castrosexuals?
posted by Bromius at 5:53 AM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]

Ha! Eposty.. Epony... Enospy... aw heck! Well you know what I mean...

Eponysexual?
posted by hermitosis at 5:53 AM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm more of a ghastlysexual myself.

Or so I've been told.
posted by Floydd at 5:54 AM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]

That is absolutely the worst term possible. How did people decide on "gastro" as a prefix for food? According to this the Latin term for food is "Cibus" wouldn't "Cibusexual" make more sense? It would certainly sound better. It's not like these people are fetishizing digestion.
posted by delmoi at 6:03 AM on June 22, 2009

Oh and so it's not even a sexual thing, rather they meant it as a play on "metrosexual" which is even stupider. When I first read this I thought they meant some kind of fetish, like for eating food and then getting turned on, which is not as gross as some of the fetishes out there. But it turns out they don't even mean it in a sexual way?

Stupid
posted by delmoi at 6:08 AM on June 22, 2009

When I hear the suffix "osexual" added to something, I reach for my revolver.

Revolvosexual?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:11 AM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]

Would I have to be a member of the online fennel club to understand this post?
posted by escabeche at 6:31 AM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]

mhjb: "...I must say the design of that gastrosexual.com is slick."

Damn. Looks like we lost another one.

bread making allows you to get stuff on you so it's fine to be touched. A woman gives herself permission to touch your flour "stains" and point them out to you (as if I don't know they're there).

Ohhh sexxxay! This is so Sexy™ Did I mention how Sexy™ this is? I'm not sure I've emphasized just how Sexy™ this can be.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:38 AM on June 22, 2009

So wait, is a gastrosexual a guy like in that piefucker movie? You know the one who fucked a pie?
posted by I Foody at 6:54 AM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

Men appear to be cooking more now than ever before.

Lede Fail.
posted by grounded at 6:57 AM on June 22, 2009

Metasexual:
Ambidextrosexual
Destrosexual
Xtrosexual
posted by Dr-Baa at 7:01 AM on June 22, 2009

Surely there's already a word for people who like to fuck food.
posted by box at 7:21 AM on June 22, 2009

Needs a link to Food Porn Daily

Seriously, I have a friend who immediately came to mind when I saw the word Gastrosexual. He is a gourmand and a gourmet. In his 40s, he has never had a romantic involvement that I am aware of. He isn't what I call devout, but he is a practicing Catholic - I think I insulted him once when I laughed at the idea of transubstantiation. I have long suspected that he has transferred latent homosexual desire onto food.

He can cook like you can't believe. His desserts are exquisite. In a typical cruel and ironic move, God has blessed him with diabetes.
posted by Xoebe at 7:29 AM on June 22, 2009 [5 favorites]

Surely there's already a word for people who like to fuck food.

You just want to put them in a box.

Hopefully it's a box with utensils and a beverage.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:30 AM on June 22, 2009

Seriously, I have a friend who immediately came to mind when I saw the word Gastrosexual. He is a gourmand and a gourmet.

I have such a friend as well, but his homosexuality is not latent. So is this friend then a gastrohomosexual? Or a homogastrosexual?
posted by blucevalo at 7:34 AM on June 22, 2009

When I hear Mission of Burma's "That's When I Reach For My Revolver," I reach for my revolver.
posted by naju at 7:43 AM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]

I like how they lead with "masculine". Because, you know, cooking has traditionally been for women and those faggy, girly, fags who like ass sex. And this, of course, falls outside their target demographic of hetero men who wish they had the sexual appeal of... Gordon Ramsay?

When I hear of new _osexuals who are immediately defined as masculine, I reach for my pink pistol.
posted by munchingzombie at 7:46 AM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]

Ugh. Gastrosexual is the most non-sexual sexual term I've ever heard. It sounds like it should be followed by 'disease' or 'condition'. At the very worst, Food Positive or Culinarily Experienced would be better.
posted by iamkimiam at 7:47 AM on June 22, 2009

SWHMGM* seeks SWF to admire how progressive I am.

*Single white hetro-metro-gastro male.

UGH.
posted by Asbestos McPinto at 7:54 AM on June 22, 2009

Say hey good lookin'
whatcha got cookin'
how's about cookin' something up with me
Hey sweet baby
don't you think maybe
we could find us a brand new recipe
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:56 AM on June 22, 2009

The true litmus test is to give the word a spin on Craigslist personals and see what happens. And remember it's traditional for guys on Craigslist to send a picture of one's schlong to every woman that writes.
posted by crapmatic at 8:16 AM on June 22, 2009

It's a remarkable piece of weirdness that from time to time men announce to me proudly that they can cook. Now I recognize that many a youngster lacks even a basic kitchen education, but cooking, especially pushed as some unique and rare skill that is especially alien to him as a man and should impress women.

Cooking is a matter of basic self care. I gotcha, you can actually turn a passable soup or grill a steak without ruining a pan. I'll be impressed if you're in the soufflé and fancy cut veggie level of skill, but I'm not going to think it's unusual for your gender.

Of course what’s really offensive is the people who tell me that the fact that I can cook makes me a good wife, or act happy I haven’t been ruined by feminism because I actually know how to bake.
posted by Phalene at 8:20 AM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]

I made blackened walleye fish tacos the other day. I caught the walleye myself, added some mango salsa, cilantro from my herb garden and a dash of hot sauce on a whole wheat tortilla.
posted by sciurus at 8:28 AM on June 22, 2009

yes, sciurus... but was it sexy?
posted by Cold Lurkey at 8:41 AM on June 22, 2009

Upwardlymobilosexual.

*slowly pushes two revolvers across table*
posted by adamdschneider at 8:44 AM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

Please, please, please stop with all the -sexual marketing terms. It was bad enough when "metrosexual" was coined around the assumption that all gay men are consumerist twinks. Do we really need to link foodies with sexuality as well?
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:01 AM on June 22, 2009

PepsiFood
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:13 AM on June 22, 2009

Kirkosexual?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:43 AM on June 22, 2009

Ugh. Gastrosexual is the most non-sexual sexual term I've ever heard.

Come to think of it, "gastrosexual" does sound like something you would take Immodium to relieve.
posted by blucevalo at 10:56 AM on June 22, 2009

When I hear Mission of Burma's "That's When I Reach For My Revolver," I reach for my revolver.

When I hear Moby's cover of Mission of Burma's "That's When I Reach for My Revolver," I'm gastrosexual. Wait, I think I did it wrong.
posted by infinitywaltz at 11:03 AM on June 22, 2009

Time to change the letterhead at Stomachfuckers International.
posted by klangklangston at 11:24 AM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]

When I hear the words upwardly mobile, I reach for my revolver.

Is that because you're not?
posted by Zambrano at 11:44 AM on June 22, 2009

58 comments, and not one person has pointed out that the image caption for the seduction link says "Things are hotting up in the kitchen as men pursue cooking as a way to attract women"?

Hotting up? I'm disappointed in you, Metafilter, for not being disappointed in that caption...
posted by hincandenza at 11:59 AM on June 22, 2009

I watched Tampopo recently, so I feel I am exempted from having to read this article. When that movie was recommended to me, nobody mentioned it was bizzaro ramen-porn.
posted by Acari at 12:29 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

Sometimes it's sexy to serve random food items straight from the fridge.
posted by iviken at 12:32 PM on June 22, 2009

Phalene: It's a remarkable piece of weirdness that from time to time men announce to me proudly that they can cook.

Weird, but not remarkable. Heterosexual men are routinely given gold stars and cultural headpats for undertaking the most basic of domestic tasks. ("He even changes diapers!" is among my favourites.) I'm pretty sure that if this terms takes hold, it will quickly be co-opted and illegitimately applied to men who cook dinner once a week - a big accomplishment for which they clearly need a special title.

I am not, by the way, having a go at men. I actually find this attitude very belittling towards our XY brethren, and it does women no favours either.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:52 PM on June 22, 2009

Heterosexual men are routinely given gold stars and cultural headpats for undertaking the most basic of domestic tasks.

My new unfavorite thing is when fathers refer to caring for their own offspring as "babysitting".
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:07 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]

To me, "gastrosexual" sounds like someone with a vomit fetish.
posted by brundlefly at 1:33 PM on June 22, 2009

I remember my ex-girlfriend dragging my sorry ass to this five hour bore-fest. I think it made me want to go on a diet.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:56 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]

Pfft, old news. Bill T. Cat was a veggiesexual (with a belly-button piercing!) years ago.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:09 PM on June 22, 2009

crapmatic: The true litmus test is to give the word a spin on Craigslist personals and see what happens. And remember it's traditional for guys on Craigslist to send a picture of one's schlong to every woman that writes.

Wouldn't he show his "sausage" in that case?
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:55 PM on June 22, 2009

Brandon Blatcher, that is an apt description for Gene Roddenberry's vision of half of women in the 23rd century.
posted by kldickson at 4:04 PM on June 22, 2009

If my boyfriend is Gastrosexual, I am cakeosexual.

Hm. "Osexual" is the new "The New"
posted by greenish at 4:08 PM on June 22, 2009

well, i don't know from gastrosexualism, but i do know that some of the best luck i've ever had with women was due to my cooking skills....
posted by lodurr at 5:04 PM on June 22, 2009

My roommate and I were having dinner a few weeks ago and she asked me what I thought the sexiest food was. I thought about it a bit, and then demurred—I've done enough cooking that things that might seem luxurious and sexy have an aura of effort and preparation time, and I worry enough about the money I spend on food that really high end items have a miasma of guilt and irresponsibility. I finally suggested fresh berries, since this was at the end of the first winter where I tried not to buy fruit shipped in from elsewhere and strawberry season has never seemed so long in coming. This seemed disappointing, though, which disappointment led into a session of whispering "croissant" at each other in the worst sexy french accents we could manage, which transformed into the creation of a commercial for "Croissant" that went along the lines of those old Egoiste ads, with 'Croissant' whispered urgently over and over.

We pictured a man in a tuxedo in a limousine, driving through the night, whispers of "croissant! croissant!" coming from everywhere and nowhere. He glances down, spots one tiny flake of pastry on his otherwise immaculate lapel, picks it up, and gazes longingly at it as we hear "A breakfast he'd always remember...." He drops the bit of croissant, the strings swell, and we see the flake falling endlessly, the whispers—"croissant! croissant!"—growing more dense, the flake still falling, always falling—and then it all cuts out, and we hear "Croissant. A fragrance by Calvin Klein."

I guess this would be the niche.
posted by felix grundy at 6:33 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]

Really though, all it takes to call yourself a gastrosexual is the culinary skill to whip out a scrumptious grilled cheese sandwich.
posted by iamkimiam at 6:37 PM on June 22, 2009

Gastrosexual = George Costanza
posted by dirigibleman at 7:13 PM on June 22, 2009

Judging by the website, "gastrosexuals" are people who don't know much about food but try to fake it. The first question that came up under Indian food was a total wreck. "This slender green herb pops up in classic Indian spice mixes like garam masala and is loved by the Thais, who use it in all sorts of dishes. What on earth is it?" Answer is given as "coriander." But the coriander used in garam masala is the SEED, which is a SPICE, not an herb; it is a non sequitur to say this green "herb" shows up in a "spice mix". Whereas seed is almost never used in Thai food, only the green leafy HERB (the part that grows above the ground), which by the way a significant fraction of the population experiences as tasting like soap.

Idiots.
posted by cogneuro at 8:40 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]

Savory seasonings stimulate the appetite. June 22, 2009 2:29 AM Subscribe

Savory seasonings stimulate the appetite.
June 22, 2009 2:29 AM Subscribe