Kodename: Wolfenstein

July 8, 2009 4:17 PM

Wolfenstein 3D, the animated graphic novel.
posted by Artw (42 comments total)

* Not technically a graphic novel.
posted by Artw at 4:18 PM on July 8

Mein Leben!
posted by GuyZero at 4:30 PM on July 8 [8 favorites]

If I had only spent as much time on my homework as I did playing Wolfenstein 3D...hmmm...best not to think about it.
posted by futureisunwritten at 4:35 PM on July 8

Mein Leben!

When I was a teen I thought it was hilarious to yell out "mein Labia" whenever I shot one of those guys. I still secretly think it's sort of funny.
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:37 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]

Without you mecha-Hitler would have won the war...
posted by Artw at 4:38 PM on July 8

I was actually kind of bummed none of the guards made that noise in the video. I mean, it's such a quintessential video game sound. You could play that clip to anyone who played W3D and they'd recognize it in an instant.

I gotta go change my ringtone now.
posted by GuyZero at 4:39 PM on July 8

Frank Miller's Wolfenstein 3D.
posted by Electric Dragon at 4:40 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]

"Stayen bleiben"? "Bleiben" means "stay."
posted by kirkaracha at 4:45 PM on July 8

We always heard schutzstaffel as "goofstopple."
posted by starman at 4:50 PM on July 8

I remember there being a lot more pac-man ghosts and messages about calling iD and saying "aardwolf"
posted by aubilenon at 5:19 PM on July 8

I was hoping we'd get to see one of those weird zombie guys with the gun in the middle of his chest.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 5:34 PM on July 8

The first time I saw Wolfenstein 3D (W3D) was on a friends newly bought 486. Raised on a diet of NES and SNES games, the graphics of W3D blew me away. My friend and I spent like, a whole night just taking turns working our way through that game. Of course nowadays it dosen't hold a candle to games like Crysis and Killzone 2, but those were the early days of 3D FPS's and W3D should be recognised for its early successes in the genre.

These days though, man, I dunno. Maybe I'm just a jaded, cynical gamer but I've played so many games where the goal is to shoot Nazis, I'm really kind of over the WW2 setting in general. So I'm not sure if I care about the new Wolfenstein game, or any game set in WW2 for that matter. Anyone here in the same U-Boat?

Anyway, this has probably influenced my view of the animation presented in this FPP as well. Nice enough; influenced by Madworld to a degree (which obviously had its own influences in Frank Millers work), but really kind of boring ultimately.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:59 PM on July 8

My friend, when you are tired of killing Nazis, you are tired of life.
posted by boo_radley at 6:07 PM on July 8 [17 favorites]

I've played so many games where the goal is to shoot Nazis, I'm really kind of over the WW2 setting in general.

You and me both, brother.
posted by Hitler at 6:10 PM on July 8 [10 favorites]

Wow, 3D Realms still maintains a huge Wolfenstein tech support page including translations of the guard voice sounds.

They have a faxable .txt product order form too... last revised March 10th, 2009! So that's what paid for Duke Nukem 3D's development.
posted by anthill at 6:11 PM on July 8

Err..."Wööf wööf!"

Don't understand why nobody has done a WWI trench warfare FPS yet though. Those parts in The Darkness were badass. Of course, America wasn't so obviously, overwhelmingly heroic in WWI, so that probably has something to do with it.

And, speaking of WWI, that reminds me of an Onion headline:

'Austrian Archduke Franz Ferdinand boasts: "No man can stop me!"'
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:16 PM on July 8

You know, for the most secretive of Nazi strongholds, that castle sure had a Jewy name.
posted by basicchannel at 6:16 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]

Don't understand why nobody has done a WWI trench warfare FPS yet though.

I played that game. I kept dying every time I went for a smoke. Tips?
posted by basicchannel at 6:21 PM on July 8

Yes, the tips are what they saw.
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:23 PM on July 8 [3 favorites]

My first Wolfenstein.
posted by Mister_A at 6:24 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]

Aaah, Wolfenstein. The first and only shooter game I've ever played. Brings back happy memories of my engineering frosh year. And by memories, I mean fuzzy, alcohol drenched, vague recollections (btw, did you know the cops can pull you over for being too drunk to ride a bicycle?)
posted by Go Banana at 6:34 PM on July 8

I remember playing Wolfenstein for hours before my family hosted a Passover celebration. It seemed appropriate.
posted by vorpal bunny at 6:48 PM on July 8

I played Wolfenstein on an Apple IIE back in junior high school in the mid-eighties (I was playing it in the computer science lab - sorry Mr Foreman! - when the Challenger shuttle blew up).

Does the original Wolfenstein and Wolfenstein II for Apple still exist?
posted by KokuRyu at 7:48 PM on July 8

It seems to exist in some form...
posted by hippybear at 9:33 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]

Of course, America wasn't so obviously, overwhelmingly heroic in WWI, so that probably has something to do with it.

And a whole four sixths of the source material to work with is a great improvement on a mere quarter . . .
posted by protorp at 10:40 PM on July 8

OH MY GOD I'M SO OLD
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 11:15 PM on July 8

Props for the historically authentic lack of stairs indoors.
posted by lifeless at 1:04 AM on July 9

"Stayen bleiben"? "Bleiben" means "stay."
posted by kirkaracha at 1:45 AM on July 9 [+] [!]

Should probably be "stehen bleiben" -- literally "stay standing" but more like "stay where you are" or "don't move."
posted by DLWM at 4:46 AM on July 9

Wolfenstein3d really did a number on me when I discovered the secret passages within the walls. I remember running along the walls while continuously hitting the space bar to find new secret passages. And then when I'd go to sleep at night I'd have normal dreams about finding myself in a hotel or an average building... and leaning against a wall...only for it to start sliding in to reveal a secret passage! Man, I wish those existed in real life.
posted by I-baLL at 6:48 AM on July 9

I played Wolfenstein ... I was playing it in the computer science lab ... when the Challenger shuttle blew up.

No, you weren't. Challenger blew up in January 1986. Wolfenstein 3D wasn't released for six more years.
posted by grubi at 7:55 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]

I first experienced it through the Mac port. The graphics were outstanding compared to the DOS version, and I laughed in my IBM friends' faces. The music was badass too. I remember playing it past the 8pm limit designated my parents, and having horrible, horrible nightmares that night. It was worth it.

Why has no one bothered to port this to OSX yet?
posted by spamguy at 7:59 AM on July 9

No, you weren't. Challenger blew up in January 1986. Wolfenstein 3D wasn't released for six more years.

Wolfenstein 3D is based off a 1981 2D stealth-based Apple II game.
posted by spamguy at 8:00 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]

I spent a lot of time playing the 2D 1981 original and its 2D 1984 sequel. Never made the jump to 3D Wolfenstein.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:39 AM on July 9

I remember playing the shareware version, I think, and being sad because I couldn't play the other 5 episodes... which is probably why I don't recognise the quad-gatling gun-wielding Hitler.

I think I was seven or eight. Playing Wolfenstein 3D now makes me a little nauseous, just like Dooms I, II and III - maybe it's the weird perspective problems with these early FPSes, or maybe it's just the special way all those corpses turn so they're always facing the same direction no matter where you are.

Still, fond memories.
posted by WalterMitty at 8:56 AM on July 9

spamguy:

Wolfenstein 3D isn't based off of it; it's inspired by it. There's no BJ Blazcowicz, no robo-Hitler, no 3-D. Very different game -- and no-one (in this thread) has made any distinction between the two until now.We were talking about the iD franchise, and someone made a reference to playing the game we were discussing during the Challenger explosion.
posted by grubi at 8:58 AM on July 9

Actually, Mister_A mentioned his early experiences with Wolfenstein, which then prompted KokuRyo to also mention the Apple ][ game, to which I then linked to an online "virtual Apple" version which is playable in the browser window.

It's all in the details.
posted by hippybear at 9:06 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]

I remember playing the shareware version, I think, and being sad because I couldn't play the other 5 episodes... which is probably why I don't recognise the quad-gatling gun-wielding Hitler.

I started out playing the shareware version as well, and my frustration with being unable to finish the game led me into the wonderful world of 0-day warez. Ah, the good ol' days....
posted by Thoughtcrime at 9:18 AM on July 9

No, you weren't. Challenger blew up in January 1986. Wolfenstein 3D wasn't released for six more years.

I was playing the game hippybear kindly linked to above.

You may wish to tweak your internet personality, BTW.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:20 AM on July 9

I'd rather read the nongraphic novel version of Wolfenstein 3D:

The cell was dank and Dark. I looked down at the Body of the guard, put my shank in my pocket, and picked up hi's gun. So I peeked out the cell and there was nobody there so I walked out. Stealthy. Then I walked further, and there was a Guard! So I shot him and he died. And there was a noise behind me! And it was a guard and I Shot him and he died.

Then I investigated the other cells in my block and found some turkey dinners lying around, so I ate them and felt awesome and not Sleepy at all. Then I walked out the door to the cell block, and there was a guard, so I s'hot him and he died. He called Out for his mommy. And there was another, and I shot him too. And then there were some dogs, but I shot them all and they all died. "Woof," they barked. Then died.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:32 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]

I was playing the game hippybear kindly linked to above.

You may wish to tweak your internet personality, BTW.

You didn't make the information plain. From the conversation, I assumed you were talking about the game we were discussing. I was corrected on that. Before I could respond, you threw in your snark.

But *I* need to tweak *my* personality.
posted by grubi at 9:51 AM on July 9

The original Castle Wolfenstein for Apple ][ was a timesink for my childhood. A friend and I played it inside and out, and when we got a magazine article about how the maps worked, we hacked it for hours on end. The real unsung hero for bringing the filthy Nazis into games was Silas Warner, the original author of Wolfenstein. Sadly, he died in 2004.
posted by pashdown at 10:34 AM on July 9

One of my favorite "you had to have been there" catchphrases from my youth was originated when a friend, clicking every wall to try and find a secret passage, asked "Is this the Hitler that opens?" We got a lot of mileage out of that one.

(Also "These trees are as bad as Hitler!", referring to the fact that both the dead potted plants and the portraits on the walls looked like enemy soldiers from a long way away.)
posted by rifflesby at 9:15 PM on July 9