Hasta la vista, Gertrude Chataway.

October 28, 2009 7:56 AM

Veto is a four-letter word (google quickview, here's the PDF):.Governor Schwarzenegger of California, at odds with the state legislature but ever the poet, vetoes Assembly Bill 1176 with a nice little acrostic.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (72 comments total)

Wow.
posted by box at 7:59 AM on October 28, 2009

I can remember people doing this in high school. How clever.
posted by nicolin at 8:03 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Hmm, golly, I'm starting to think electing an incompetent manchild with no previous electoral experience to run the fifth largest economy on the planet might not have been such a great idea after all. Surely this, etc.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:04 AM on October 28, 2009 [13 favorites]

Who would think this is anything more than coincidence?
The governor would never do anything deliberately rude.
Finding order in randomness is a silly exercise, don't you think
?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:06 AM on October 28, 2009 [11 favorites]

I don't think you're supposed to leave out the first paragraph. I can imagine Arnold screaming "I fuck you!" I distinctly remember a movie where someone kept screaming that at the hero. I imagine Arnold of old bellowing it would be quite effective in frightening people, especially when armed with the Conan sword he keeps in his office.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:07 AM on October 28, 2009 [5 favorites]

Can we talk about the Official California Legislation Page and about how it seems to be stuck in 1996?
posted by piratebowling at 8:08 AM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

In a nutshell, what is the bill about? I tried reading the text but the legalese got me a little cross-eyed...it appeared to be about setting up certain kinds of....financial districts in San Francisco?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:10 AM on October 28, 2009

Oh, come now. Schwarzenegger may not be the most skilled elected official in the world, but I wouldn't call him an incompetent manchild.

::watches "Jingle All the Way"::

Never mind.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:10 AM on October 28, 2009

That Conan Sword is awesome. Made by the late great swordsmith Jody Samson at Albion Arms. If he can't cut a budget with that, he must just be another actor/politician.
posted by Balisong at 8:12 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Follow-up question: I wanted to know what the bill is about to see if there was any reason why someone would have wanted this to pass, and thus Arnie's veto was problematic.

But if this is more about the nature of the veto itself rather than the fact that this was vetoed instead of passed, then never mind.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:13 AM on October 28, 2009

"Fold veto back so that A meets B"
posted by bondcliff at 8:14 AM on October 28, 2009 [17 favorites]

Destined to wear the jeweled crown of California upon a troubled brow.
posted by Joe Beese at 8:15 AM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

"Wake up every morning and say to yourself, "Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of California." This will serve to remind you that you are living in a surreal dream world where your actions have no consequences." - Tim Dowling
posted by Kattullus at 8:15 AM on October 28, 2009 [18 favorites]

We're all assuming he wrote ever character of it himself and approved copy placement?
posted by Doug Stewart at 8:17 AM on October 28, 2009

Congress, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good politicians or bad. Why we fought, or why we lost elections. All that matters is that one stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Congress ... so grant me one request. Grant me veto! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!
posted by adipocere at 8:19 AM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

Can we talk about the Official California Legislation Page and about how it seems to be stuck in 1996?

You mean that it's designed to work on lowest-common-denominator systems so that the information it serves is available to the largest possible number of citizens? And?
posted by Thorzdad at 8:20 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Another chance to bash Arnold in consecutive posts! Arnold Schwarzenegger is probably the single greatest poison in the history of Hollywood.
In the late 70s after Star Wars (a great film, btw) had flipped the game on its head, Hollywood recognized that B movie subjects produced gold. At the same time, when Hollywood realized the overpowering value of "May the Schwartz is with you," Arnold appeared as a reverse engineered action figure, an actor who couldn't emote or nuance. And he didn't need to. Movies were built around him. Explosions took the place of plotting and suspense. A further problem arose because he thought he was funny and clever. He would ad lib dreadful lines after violently dispatching comic book foes and his ad libs would take the place of dialogue. (After killing someone with a drill, "Now, you're screwed.") Because he made so much money no one could tell him he was an idiot and to please read the cue cards.
This glossy and expensive packaging of B films joined to the demise of good dialogue, killed off the great thinking studio of films of the 70s, leaving mostly independents to later pick up the pieces. Schwarzenegger did not choose to be the angel of death to good studio films. He was just in the right place at the right time to fill that role.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:30 AM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

This Chronicle article gives a lot more context on why this particular bill might have been used to send a message.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:31 AM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

Thorzdad: "You mean that it's designed to work on lowest-common-denominator systems so that the information it serves is available to the largest possible number of citizens?"

ah, that must be why it's in black and white without any ugly repeating jpg background or unneccessary and hideous color choices, or outdated and useless gif graphics yelling FLASH!.

oh wait...
posted by shmegegge at 8:33 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Thank you, Horace, that helps rather a bit.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:35 AM on October 28, 2009

piratebowling: Can we talk about the Official California Legislation Page and about how it seems to be stuck in 1996?

Thorzdad: You mean that it's designed to work on lowest-common-denominator systems so that the information it serves is available to the largest possible number of citizens? And?

Did you actually look at the page? Textured background, Times New Roman, default link colors (which you can actually make a pro- argument for, but still), shaded table borders. Hell, that graphic heading has two separate drop-shadows. HR! SIZE=5!

You can make something work standards-compliant and work on as many systems as possible without making it ugly as sin.
posted by Barking Frog at 8:35 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Schwarzenegger's press secretary, Aaron McLear, insisted Tuesday it was simply a "weird coincidence." He sent us veto messages the governor sent out in the past with linguistic lineups such as "soap" and "poet," which he said were also unintended.

Well, that clears that right up.

"Something like this was bound to happen," McLear said.

Yeah, if you have an infinite number of monkeys.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:36 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Couldn't he just crush their puny skulls? Or at least come up with a catchier catchphrase? Like that time he shot some crocodiles in that one movie, paused, and said to the audience, "You're luggage." That was so fucking cool.

An acrostic seems so... effete and passive-aggressive for a tough-guy bodybuilder who made a living from crap catchphrases.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:38 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think the "Fuck You" in the memo was intentional, but likely that Schwarzeneggar was unaware. I'm betting whoever actually wrote and typed up that memo did it.*

*-It is a very, very frustrating time in California.
posted by LooseFilter at 8:39 AM on October 28, 2009

brilliant ... no idea what the bill was about ... but ... brilliant
posted by jannw at 8:40 AM on October 28, 2009

I just had a beautiful dream about Schwarzenegger teaming up with David Caruso to fight crime with puns.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:40 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Can we talk about the Official California Legislation Page and about how it seems to be stuck in 1996?

That was back when HTML 2.0 really was 2.0.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:41 AM on October 28, 2009

You can make something work standards-compliant and work on as many systems as possible without making it ugly as sin.

Oh, you mean you want the state to actually PAY a professional to build the site? That would cost tax dollars. Better to let someone's secretary do it.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:48 AM on October 28, 2009

Metafilter: an infinite number of monkeys.
posted by scrowdid at 8:51 AM on October 28, 2009

Sometimes I take a minute to thank God I live in a state where there's a legislator who is willing to yell, "Kiss my gay ass" at the Governor. At the very least, it softens the blow of having a sexually inappropriate action star with Nazi sympathies as that Governor.
posted by serazin at 8:52 AM on October 28, 2009

Well, actually the first word is I. So it's "I FUCK YOU".

If you say that in your best Austrian accent, it's still kind of fucked up.
posted by chillmost at 8:54 AM on October 28, 2009

Stay classy, California.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:58 AM on October 28, 2009

Please do not
Lose yourself in
Overanalyzing this
Characteristically
Hubristic,
Over-compensating-for something (
Possibly?) act by Gov.
Schwarzenegger.
posted by COBRA! at 9:02 AM on October 28, 2009 [14 favorites]

Conan, what is best in life?

Passive aggressive correspondence.
posted by dortmunder at 9:09 AM on October 28, 2009 [9 favorites]

Not as impressive as James May's message in Autocar.
posted by djb at 9:10 AM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

"Wake up every morning and say to yourself, "Arnold Schwarzenegger is Ronald Reagan was the governor of California, and went on to become the 40th President of the United States" This will serve to remind you that you are living in a surreal dream world where your actions have no consequences state and national politics are largely an extension of elementary school elections."

Reagan's page on the California Governor's website notes that he was known as "the Errol Flynn of the B-movies." Now we have "Conan the Republican," as George H. W. Bush called him.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:11 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Conan, what is best in life?

Passive aggressive correspondence.

He's getting older, so all that crushing of enemies and driving them before you is getting hard on his knees and back. The sword is heavy to wield, especially when compared to the lightness of the pen.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:13 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

"I just had a beautiful dream about Schwarzenegger teaming up with David Caruso to fight crime with puns."

YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 9:13 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

"I just had a beautiful dream about Schwarzenegger teaming up with David Caruso to fight crime with puns."

I WANT TO SEE THIS NOW.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:15 AM on October 28, 2009

Indeed, it is a Caustic Acrostic. I can only assume that the individual who orchestrated it was a Fugazi fan.
posted by The World Famous at 9:17 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Thorzdad: You mean that it's designed to work on lowest-common-denominator systems so that the information it serves is available to the largest possible number of citizens? And?

The page heading is an image with no alt-text, so it wastes bandwidth and is invisible to text-only browsers and screen readers. And the page links to a bunch of PDF files. So it's not really "lowest common denominator."

I think the legibility of the page is improved (and certainly the efficiency of the page is improved) by removing the images entirely. So I feel it's not merely old-school design, it's also simply poor design. It would actually work better if less effort had been expended on it.
posted by Western Infidels at 9:18 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'd have been more impressed if he'd managed to make it read "SCREW YOU!"
posted by anthom at 9:34 AM on October 28, 2009

Too bad California pols aren't required to live by MeFi standards.
posted by bearwife at 9:35 AM on October 28, 2009

Hell, that graphic heading has two separate drop-shadows.

My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!
posted by Artw at 9:36 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Caustic Acrostic

...would be the best username ever.
posted by Kwine at 10:10 AM on October 28, 2009

I realize he must be frustrated, but that acrostic is just unprofessional and immature. Boo.
posted by Daddy-O at 10:49 AM on October 28, 2009

Well, actually the first word is I. So it's "I FUCK YOU".

Arnold Schwarzenegger .......................... Nihilist #3
posted by rokusan at 10:50 AM on October 28, 2009 [7 favorites]

It would actually work better if less effort had been expended on it.

True of a very large number of websites, especially corporate websites. At least the page in question loaded quickly and had both HTML and PDF links. Agreed on the overall poor-ish design.
posted by Maximian at 10:53 AM on October 28, 2009

Can we talk about the Official California Legislation Page and about how it seems to be stuck in 1996?

You wanna talk bad about leginfo, you might as well say it to my fist.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:55 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Does you fist have a dropshadow AND some kind of weird bevel/semi-dropshadow thing?
posted by Artw at 10:59 AM on October 28, 2009

I like to think that he followed the careful devising of this letter with a balanced breakfast.
posted by Rhaomi at 11:22 AM on October 28, 2009

Does you fist have a dropshadow AND some kind of weird bevel/semi-dropshadow thing?

My fist has another fist inside and that fist has another fist inside and that fist has another fist inside it and that fist is holding a roll of quarters.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:34 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

according to the paper fortune teller i made those two are destined to be married.
posted by Hammond Rye at 12:02 PM on October 28, 2009

My fist has another fist inside and that fist has another fist inside and that fist has another fist inside it and that fist is holding a roll of quarters.

And the quarters are animated gifs.
posted by The World Famous at 12:08 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

/puts up server-side imagemap shield.
posted by Artw at 12:16 PM on October 28, 2009

This is one of the weirdest paragraphs I've ever read:

"I do still have the Conan sword @hidefnewscaps, and I keep it in my office. Here's a picture," Schwarzenegger tweeted.

posted by kirkaracha at 12:33 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

It's not *that* odd, just missing a comma.
posted by Artw at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2009

EmpressCallipygos: I WANT TO SEE THIS NOW.

SCENE: PENGUIN EXHIBIT AT THE ZOO
'Oh shit, it's Schwarzenegger and Caruso! Let's beat it, fellows!'
'Ice to meet you.'
[action ensues]
'Looks like these guys... need to chill out.'
posted by shakespeherian at 1:17 PM on October 28, 2009

So it's not really "lowest common denominator."

It really -is- Web 0.9: it was designed in '96-'97 (check them time stamps) and, for the time, was The Sexy. I mean, dude, drop-shadows -were- the thing back then. That and pebbly backgrounds. Sadly, I've been using that damned site for about that long. Back then, high-tech was still Gopher, as Oregon's legislature showcased. New York was running off -telnet- -- it'd take going to twitter to make bill content less user-friendly. Leginfo is mired in piles of legacy content and production streams: CA has been electronic forever. Typically legislative info areas lag behind the "public" faces, but even CA's senate and assembly pages are kind of the suck...
posted by Ogre Lawless at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2009

Legislation is often cancelled by senior politicians when it turns out to be ineffective or
easily used for nefarious purposes.The introduction of this legislation can be manipulated
to highlight weaknesses in the existing political leadership and to stall progress.

Officials in both parties often work in concert with one another to ensure that policy isn't
forced into being, despite their being differing opinions and desires on each side. This is
fortunate as otherwise the tyranny of one party would dictate all policy in California.

Some Californians see the problems in this being impossible to overcome, counter or
oppose but others are less accepting of these deliberate attempts to undermine and
manipulate the political process and work hard to resist it's insidious influence and it's
effects on the day to day running of the state of California.

Staggeringly in this day and age, the Governer Arnold Schwarchzenegger has tried and
tried to mend the infighting and address the two parties in a spirit of bipartisanship. His
efforts so far have made some impact on the way in which legislature is created and it
also has reduced inter-party tensions. Whilst he never received an Oscar for his action
movies, Schwarzenegger may be in line for some sort of award for his work is this area.

Beyond the existing problems which are being handled by the Governer and his staff,
enduring the constant barrage of requests by special interest groups is one that can
never be ignored. Listening to one group will almost certainly give rise to complaints or
nagging from another and the only way to deal with this is to ensure that time is given
equally to representatives from every group. The Governor's staff are experts at using
time to best advantage and are always on hand to ensure that his busy schedule is
taken into account when addressing the needs of his constituents.

/stands back, admires work. Lights cigar and slaps passing woman on diaz.
posted by longbaugh at 1:23 PM on October 28, 2009 [6 favorites]

SCENE: PENGUIN EXHIBIT AT THE ZOO
'Oh shit, it's Schwarzenegger and Caruso! Let's beat it, fellows!'
'Ice to meet you.'
[action ensues]
'Looks like these guys... need to chill out.'

YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *Townsend guitar riff*
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:26 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

So many spelling mistakes!
How could I have made them?
I don't know what I can do!
Think dammit...
posted by longbaugh at 1:31 PM on October 28, 2009

They just had a guy who studies cryptology come on NPR to the determine the odds that this was an accident. That made me laugh out loud in an Au Bon Pain. (It's 5.5 in one trillion.)
posted by painquale at 1:47 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

In my mind, when I go to the placeholder for Schwarzenegger, this is what occupies it.
posted by WCityMike at 2:22 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

I don't buy for a second it's a coincidence—"kicks the can down the alley" is just too out-of-place in an otherwise fairly dry memo. I'm undecided on whether Schwarzenegger was personally aware of it.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:57 PM on October 28, 2009

"As for Ammiano, a professional comic in addition to being a liberal Democrat, he's playing it straight on this one:..."

Stay classy, SF Chron!
posted by chavenet at 3:33 PM on October 28, 2009

The secret brilliance of that web page is IN the graphics and the shadowing. Check it: the words at the top of the page - Official California Legislative Information - have shadows that tilt just slightly down and to the right. The boxes at the bottom of the page have shadows that are mostly down and much less to the right. So if one thing on that pages is acting as the light that would cause those shadows, it's the Legislative Counsel State of California seal. As if the seal were the sun.
In other words, California thinks the world revolves around them.
posted by 8dot3 at 4:15 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

> My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!

Try the beer goggles. I think they're working.
posted by jfuller at 5:49 PM on October 28, 2009

Perhaps you are all Democrats!
posted by No-sword at 9:15 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

They just had a guy who studies cryptology come on NPR to the determine the odds that this was an accident.... 5.5 in one trillion.

Weird, that's exactly the same odds I got for "The chances that a story worth a half-chuckle deserves more air time than anything else that happened in the world today."
posted by rokusan at 11:21 AM on October 29, 2009

You stay classy, Governator.

This is why we don't vote for famous non-politicians, people.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:14 PM on October 30, 2009

This is why we don't vote for famous non-politicians, people.

I thought the reason we don't vote for famous non-politicians is because they don't know anything about the job they are trying to get hired for. If we're trying to avoid having classless, tactless jerks in office, I'm afraid we're going to have to avoid politicians altogether.
posted by The World Famous at 4:38 PM on October 30, 2009