Stop animation vs CGI

December 2, 2009 7:12 PM

After more than 25 years, Clash of the Titans has been remade. Here is the original 1981 Clash of the Titans trailer.

CGI has replaced stop animation and the plot has been changed. IMBD page. Ray Harryhausen gives his two cents.

Some people may welcome the new special effects, but for some who grew up on his movies, the stop animation cannot be replaced:

Chronological compilation of every Ray Harryhausen animated creature.
Skeleton fight and Talos from Jason and the Argonauts.
Cyclops and Cyclops vs. dragon from The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.
Medusa and scorpions from Clash of the Titans.
Ceratosaurus vs Triceratops and a Pteranodon from One Million Years B.C.

posted by MaryDellamorte (124 comments total)

Giant scorpions are awesome and everything, but that aside, I didn't like that new trailer at all. Feh. The original is a fucking classic.
posted by kbanas at 7:16 PM on December 2, 2009

I am so old.
posted by mert at 7:16 PM on December 2, 2009 [13 favorites]

I thought at the time (or soon after) that it was pretty crappy special effects. It actually seems cooler now.

From the desc on BC: A very good dinosaur fight from 1 Million Years BC by Ray Harryhausen. The stop motion is first rate. But I think the Ceratosaurus was not that big nor did these 2 dinos live at the same time. But hey, neither did a hot cave woman live then either!

Neither dinosaurs nor cave women (hot or otherwise) were alive in 1 Million BC.
posted by DU at 7:16 PM on December 2, 2009

And that trailer sucks not because of the changed FX but because it looks like Yet Another Dumb Action Movie. It doesn't have the calm outrageousness/horror ("so yeah, then a bunch of skeletons came out of the ground...") of the original.
posted by DU at 7:20 PM on December 2, 2009 [4 favorites]

Wait, is Perseus looking Medusa in the face in that trailer?
posted by Huck500 at 7:20 PM on December 2, 2009 [7 favorites]

Thanks anyway on the remake... but you're only 14 once.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:20 PM on December 2, 2009

Christ, I hate it when people do things.
posted by hifiparasol at 7:21 PM on December 2, 2009 [30 favorites]

I have no intentions on seeing the remake. They can have my Ray Harryhausen movies when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 7:22 PM on December 2, 2009 [5 favorites]

mert: "I am so old."

That's not old.

Flipping through a Rolling Stone in the doctor's office and seeing a review of the 25th Anniversary edition of The Unforgettable Fire. That's old.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:25 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

That music is so so terrible.
posted by thylacine at 7:29 PM on December 2, 2009

Titans... Will... Clash.

Seriously? Come on. Seriously?
posted by rokusan at 7:29 PM on December 2, 2009 [23 favorites]

Seconding mert. I remember seeing the original in the theatre.

Of course, I'm also old enough now to recognize the underscoring in the original trailer, which was a trifle distracting.

The new version looks like it's...not an improvement? Then again, I gleefully await my father's response to the film (which will be payback for him gleefully awaiting my response to the new Sherlock Holmes...).
posted by thomas j wise at 7:30 PM on December 2, 2009

Wah!

My sculpture instructor, Dave Clendining, worked on many of the models. He's invisible online, and he's not credited in the film because he was working in Harryhausen's shop without a union membership.
posted by sebastienbailard at 7:30 PM on December 2, 2009

Christ, I hate it when people do things.

Pfft, yeah. Next thing you know, people will start doing things that haven't already been done, and how lame will that be?
posted by Talanvor at 7:30 PM on December 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

If they had to make it about fighting on the side of Zeus against Hades, why not go the extra few steps and rename Zeus to Jesus and Hades to the Devil and throw in a few crucifixes? Or go oldschool and make a movie about Ahura Mazda vs. Ahriman?

The interesting thing about the ancient Greek theology is that all of the gods have their vices and virtues. Losing that aspect and keeping the names is pure stupidity.
posted by idiopath at 7:32 PM on December 2, 2009 [8 favorites]

Andromeda in the tub.

Just sayin'.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 7:32 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

The original is NOT a classic; it is far from Harryhausen's best. Yes, it has some great moments, but nothing to equal the skeleton fight (or even Talos!) in JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS. Hell, even EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS was better. IMHO. I remember being massively disappointed that Harryhausen chose to end his career with such a weak-ass film.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 7:35 PM on December 2, 2009

I think one can enjoy a remake if you accept that it cannot compete with the impression the original had on you. Well maybe not Wicker Man 2007 but if it's basically good, then sure why not.

An exceedingly pleasant homage to Clash, IMO, was Perseus in God of War II, with Harry Hamlin voicing him no less. I enjoyed that immensely. They risked fan disapproval by making him an adversary that you actually have to kill, but it works. It would not have worked otherwise I think.
posted by rahnefan at 7:35 PM on December 2, 2009

That music is so so terrible.

Hey now, that's not the only thing.
posted by nola at 7:35 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

The thing is, you could do this with CGI and have it be fun and great, but you need to respect what makes the stop-motion good. You need to start with a close-up on Bubo the owl and his mechanical eyes, and let the audience figure it out from there. And the Medusa stalking fight has to be the end of the trailer. This just looks like any of a thousand forgettable CGI fight-rock oil-slicked-dude movies. Meh.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:36 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

shoot. I was hoping for a re-cut trailer of COTT in which the possibility of a homoerotic relationship between Perseus and Ammon was hinted at...
posted by Wash Jones at 7:36 PM on December 2, 2009

Crappy movies were so much better when we were young.

1 Million Years BC was my favorite after-school movie, and I couldn't wait for Monster Week each winter ... but even in 4th Grade I knew that it wasn't actually very good.

I can't tell for this one. I want it to be good, or at least crappy fun ... but I agree that the trailer is weak. Also, do all these movies have the same soundtrack?
posted by kanewai at 7:37 PM on December 2, 2009

oh man, that plot summary on wikipedia is such garbage. ugh.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:38 PM on December 2, 2009

I have trouble taking seriously any movie whose trailer includes a rawk soundtrack.
posted by katillathehun at 7:39 PM on December 2, 2009 [5 favorites]

I'm old and I don't care -- I just survived a stroke so you can fucking bite me.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 7:39 PM on December 2, 2009

That looked like a mash-up of 300 and Lord of the Rings.

I liked them both.

I did not like this.
posted by oddman at 7:40 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Also...

TITANS.

WILL.

CLASH.

CLASH of the TITANS

...is that the best they can say about their own movie?
posted by katillathehun at 7:41 PM on December 2, 2009

Titans... Will... Clash.

Not on my watch!

*punches Zeus*
posted by fleetmouse at 7:41 PM on December 2, 2009 [13 favorites]

(or what rokusan said. Anyway.)
posted by katillathehun at 7:42 PM on December 2, 2009

I have a feeling that the best thing about the new movie will be the inevitable MASH OF THE TITANS YouTube mashups.
posted by oulipian at 7:42 PM on December 2, 2009

I'm old, saw the original movie in original release, and am perfectly happy that CGI has advanced to the point where even crappy movies have good CGI now. That stop motion sucked.
posted by intermod at 7:42 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Made for Video Games.
posted by boo_radley at 7:45 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

All Hollywood is anymore is a mechanism by which coolness is converted directly into money, leaving behind only a wasteland of suck.
posted by JHarris at 7:45 PM on December 2, 2009 [6 favorites]

Holy fucking shit, the Praetorian Guard? Look, mechanical owls aren't period either, but owls are. You couldn't have called them Argonauts or Myrmidons or something Greek?
posted by khaibit at 7:47 PM on December 2, 2009

Hmm. Looks like I'll be better off playing God of War III.
posted by Rangeboy at 7:50 PM on December 2, 2009

Here's hoping Hollywood continues to improve upon my precious childhood memories:

Footloose II: 2 Da Sixth Degree
Smurfin'
Cosby Girls: Licensed 2 Bill
Pac Hell
1Day@ATime: Schneiderspace Rules
Noriega!!

posted by swift at 7:50 PM on December 2, 2009 [4 favorites]

Wait, I'm confused.. Everyone's complaining that this trailer looks like crap? Did you not see the first film? It was terrible. Awesome and fun and great, but terrible.

I love that first film. I was 12 years old and I went with this girl and we sat in the theater and then snuck around to see it a second time. And we held hands while watching it, my first time ever to hold hands with a real girl! Of course I turned out gay and she's a lesbian, but it was still awesome. Also the owl was great.
posted by Nelson at 7:51 PM on December 2, 2009 [11 favorites]

The owl was a pure rip-off of R2D2, nothing more or less. I would make book that the little bastard was shoehorned into the script by clever Hollywood executives.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 7:58 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

That was my first movie-boobie.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 8:00 PM on December 2, 2009

The original may have crappy effects, but it was FUN. It had heart, adventure, creepiness, excitement... yeah, it was cheesy, but it was fun. This looks... blergh.
posted by Saxon Kane at 8:02 PM on December 2, 2009

By "clever," I mean, of course, pole-smoking opportunistic scumbags who'd knife their mothers for a percentage and who have the artistic sensibility of a tapeworm.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 8:02 PM on December 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

At some point you have to sit back and laugh at Hollywood though. Millions of dollars in cgi just got its ass kicked by a 25 year old low-budget shot of a guy dressed as Death manning a rowboat.
posted by mannequito at 8:03 PM on December 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

There's more than one way to realize you're a huge fucking nerd, but when the words "ohhh, Alexa Davalos!" come out of your mouth, that's probably a big clue. So I guess I've learned something about myself tonight. ...That I already knew. Anyway, I can't really tell whether the new one will be any good from this trailer (although the absence of dialogue in a trailer is usually an indicator that something dreadful is coming soon to a theater near you), but I will say I think Clash of the Titans is fairer game than a lot of films for a remake, given that...y'know...it wasn't exactly an original story back in 1981, either.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:09 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

kittens for breakfast: "it wasn't exactly an original story back in 1981, either"

But they aren't even using the fucking story, they are making the same old fucking demons vs. angels supernatural action movie and pasting names from the Greek pantheon on top. I would love it if we started actually seeing some Greek stories in the movies, but they seem to think an audience can't handle two supernatural entities being in conflict without knowing that one of them is fire and horns so is bad and the other is wings and clouds so is good.
posted by idiopath at 8:15 PM on December 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

If Andromeda doesn't say, "Calibos, why have you summoned me here a-gain?" I will be very, very disappointed. Also, Maggie Smith's killer rolling head needs to happen too.
posted by gladly at 8:15 PM on December 2, 2009

Tit-ans . . .
Will. . .
Clash. . .

And You Will Believe That Giant Scorpions Can Fly.
posted by rdone at 8:18 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

Of course I turned out gay

Aha//fafj now we knose aht's causeed all these gay ness
Twas nothing more then attack of the Tiintians all those manbmy nerys ago. Read morb abat my book attack of the tipines and hows they
vbeturned american'sndk bgay now in paper back.
posted by nola at 8:30 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Has someone told these guys that Zeus and Hades are not Titans?
posted by fleacircus at 8:31 PM on December 2, 2009 [14 favorites]

Harryhausen would approve.
posted by hermitosis at 8:39 PM on December 2, 2009

"the absence of dialogue in a trailer is usually an indicator that something dreadful is coming soon to a theater near you"
ever seen a trailer for a foreign film from a u.s. distributor?
posted by deric at 8:39 PM on December 2, 2009

ever seen a trailer for a foreign film from a u.s. distributor?

If they're doing this entirely in Cantonese, I might cut them some slack.
posted by katillathehun at 8:47 PM on December 2, 2009

Release the Kraken!
posted by stargell at 8:52 PM on December 2, 2009

I must confess, I never actually watched the original Clash of the Titans the first time around. I finally got to it a couple of years ago, and I thought it was great fun, a bit goofy at times, but some really nice art direction.

This new version trailer: generic fast edits with things vaguely moving around with sub-woof audio, which is apparently the style these days.
posted by ovvl at 8:53 PM on December 2, 2009

Aha//fafj now we knose aht's causeed all these gay ness
Twas nothing more then attack of the Tiintians all those manbmy nerys ago. Read morb abat my book attack of the tipines and hows they
vbeturned american'sndk bgay now in paper back.

SIDEBAR. NOW.
posted by scrowdid at 8:54 PM on December 2, 2009

I'm having some pretty serious "get off my lawn" reactions right about now.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:54 PM on December 2, 2009

What the hell's up with the costuming? More like "Chitons will clash", amirite?
posted by phooky at 9:02 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm still trying to get my head around who got paid for writing that tagline. What does their portfolio of prior work look like?

Kane! Is! A! Citizen!
Driver! Of! Taxi!
Now! Is! Apocalypse!
Jedi! Will! Return!
Fiction! Will! Pulp!
Fellas! Are! Good!
Lebowski! Is! Big!
Lambs! Will! Be Silent!
Benjamin Button! Is! Curious!
The Wind! Will! Be! Gone!

(With!)
posted by rokusan at 9:03 PM on December 2, 2009 [40 favorites]

My Dinner! Will Be Had! With Andre!

Electric Boogaloos! Two! WIll be Broken!
posted by idiopath at 9:05 PM on December 2, 2009 [4 favorites]

They can have my Ray Harryhausen movies when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.
^ This. My favorites are the Sinbad movies. And the scene that got imprinted in my brain when I was about 4-5 years old was the fight between Sinbad and a giant spider/monster inside a huge cave. I have to get ahold of these films now, it's imperative.
posted by ratita at 9:13 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Titans... Will... Clash.

Seriously? Come on. Seriously?

That was precisely when I closed it.
posted by Barking Frog at 9:14 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

The 9th Plan! Will Be! From Outer Space!
posted by katillathehun at 9:15 PM on December 2, 2009

1. I can't read the above taglines without thinking of Shatner.

2. If they're not following the original mythology in the slightest, isn't this just fan fiction with a huge budget?
posted by Jon_Evil at 9:27 PM on December 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

"I believe they're even teaching it in schools"

Man, I love me some Harryhausen, but get the fuck out of town. If anyone is using my beloved Clash of The Titans as an illustration of Greek myths... ... Holy Fuck, the American education system is in even worse shape than supposed.

That movie was glorious, but was a shambolic Frankenstein of about twelve different myths, and some shit that just seemed to be thrown in for what-the-heck. The only thing it could teach in a school is how awesome stop-motion is and how CGI has only recently caught up.
posted by smoke at 9:36 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Holy shit, there is no way I am not watching that drunk.
posted by adamdschneider at 9:38 PM on December 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

If anyone is using my beloved Clash of The Titans as an illustration of Greek myths... Holy Fuck, the American education system is in even worse shape than supposed.

We watched it in 10th grad Latin class, but it was more of a "here's an amalgamation of a bunch of myths, how many can you pick out?" sorta thing. I think we might have also watched it in 7th grade history class, though, without that caveat.
posted by Jon_Evil at 9:45 PM on December 2, 2009

Jesus christ, if there are any stories out there that don't need sexing up, it's the bloody Greek myths. Murder, mayhem, jealousy, revenge, sex, incest, blood blood blood, and that's just the story of Zeus' birth! Oh but no, oiled-up He-men brutally floating through the air in yet another example of EXTREME SLO-MO BADASSEDRY, accompanied by GENERIC BUTT ROCK makes every story better. Can a brother get a lyre up in here?

The scorpions look cool, I'll give the trailer that. But that plot? That's the fucking plot of Titan Quest. And it wasn't that good in the game!

FUCK YOU! Give me my kraken (even thought it's not really a kraken) and my Pegasus and my Bubo and most of all, give me my creepy cloth bag with Medusa's head being stabbed with a trident in the dead of night! Douchebags.
posted by m0nm0n at 9:46 PM on December 2, 2009 [7 favorites]

I was in my twenties when it came out and enjoyed it then. I'll keep an open mind until I see the next installment.
Now: The Sinbad movies were pretty cool!
posted by Upon Further Review at 9:48 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Christ, I hate it when people do things

CGI in films is like a beautiful treasure chest, which 90% of the time just contains a turd.

My opinion on CGI: when you can do anything, doing nothing is the best option.
posted by chambers at 9:51 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

I haven't seen that movie since whenever its last run on HBO was, back in the early 80s. The fight between Perseus and Medusa, when she slithers around the temple hunting him down and he has to look via his polished shield...man that sequence scared the shit out of me. I can't imagine whatever CGI Medusa they have in this is nearly as scary as that stop-motion Medusa. I'll probably never see this so someone will have to tell me later.
posted by zardoz at 9:55 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

I saw the original in the theatre, and owned the toys as well: The little Harry Hamlin lookin' Perseus and Thallo, Pegasus, Calibos (on the right), even the Kraken with its four pivoty arms and detachable tail.

Goddamn.
posted by fatbird at 10:00 PM on December 2, 2009

Here you go. I fixed it for you.
posted by cazoo at 10:08 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

Oh for fuck's sake. Why, despite a childhood loving that mechanical owl and Pegasus not being included, did I love the look of that trailer? I'll tell you why. Because I have spent too much of my life playing World of Warcraft and Warhammer. As an eight year old, when the boys let me play games with them in the schoolyard, we'd pretend we were adventuring through the lands to fight giant scorpions and ninjas, drawing treasure maps in class when the teacher wasn't looking.

The tag line is pretty awful though. And yeah, they aren't Titans. BUT STILL. GIANT SCORPIONS.
posted by saturnine at 10:25 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Some people may welcome the new special effects, but for some who grew up on his movies, the stop animation cannot be replaced:

Stop motion animation by Ray Harryhausen cannot be replaced.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:27 PM on December 2, 2009

Harryhausen built his career on the premise that any movie could be made more awesome by giant bugs or dinosaurs, and he was right.

I don't think the FX of Titans was that bad for the time period. I think one of its problems is that it's a bit ambitious in terms of what was done in terms of and cinematography. Lucas gets away with a lot by making most of his "creature" effects either expressionless robots, low-expression rubber masks, or puppets with a very limited range of motion. The slithering medusa is probably one of the better sequences of the film.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 10:28 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

cazoo: "Here you go. I fixed it for you."

That works far better than it has any right to.
posted by alexei at 11:04 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'm still trying to get my head around who got paid for writing that tagline. What does their portfolio of prior work look like?

Could be worse. They could have been written by memecats.

Clashing Titans Are Clashing
Citizen Kane Is A Citizen
Pulp Fiction Is Pulpy
Goodfellas Are Good
Big Lebowski Is Big
Silent Lambs Are Silent

Titans: Let Me Clash You Them
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:06 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

chambers: CGI in films is like a beautiful treasure chest, which 90% of the time just contains a turd.

da-da-da-DAH!! "You have found THE LUMP OF SHIT! You could keep this in your bottle, but you probably shouldn't!"

m0nm0n: Oh but no, oiled-up He-men brutally floating through the air in yet another example of EXTREME SLO-MO BADASSEDRY, accompanied by GENERIC BUTT ROCK makes every story better. Can a brother get a lyre up in here?

Oh GOD I have come to loathe these films. I knew someone in college who, every time I would point out how awful they are, would counter with "But did you see (some thing that happened in the movie)? You can't tell me that wasn't cool." Then I'd tell him that, no, it wasn't. Then he'd say the same thing again. It was like I tried to divide by zero, he just wasn't parsing it.

As for CGI.... A couple of us have gotten into the habit of renting really bad moves at a local Redbox. Just looking at what they have and picking out the lamest thing there. We rented "The Day The Earth Stopped," "Humanity's End," "Legend of the Bog," "Anacondas: Trail of Blood," and more. All of those movies have CG, but because they were all ultra-low-budget, only a smattering of it in each. In The Day The Earth Stopped, the CG has to do with a giant robot that stands in the middle of a city and does nothing the entire movie.

We never watched any of those movies a second time, but at least we made it through them. This is not the case with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
posted by JHarris at 11:10 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

The narrative range of the adventure story sure has shrunk in the last few years, hasn't it?

KEWL PERIL PERIL KEWL SHE'S HOT PERIL PERIL PERIL KEWL SEX SCENE PERIL PERIL BOOM.
posted by fleacircus at 11:22 PM on December 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

SUPER

WILL

MAN...

SUPERMAN
posted by ...possums at 11:54 PM on December 2, 2009

You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see a good director, a smart one, one with some love of the source material -- kind of a Peter Jackson/Lord of the Rings deal -- make some movies out of Dan Simmons Ilium/Olympos books. I'd like that, if the movies were good.

Fake edit: Huh. Having actually just read the Wikipedia article for the link, I see that it's being done. I hope it's good.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:16 AM on December 3, 2009

The tag line is pretty awful though. And yeah, they aren't Titans...
posted by saturnine

Eponysterical.
posted by weston at 12:22 AM on December 3, 2009 [5 favorites]

The woman breastfeeding in the first few minutes - that's what the 12 year old me remembers!
posted by conifer at 12:28 AM on December 3, 2009

Man, I love me some Harryhausen, but get the fuck out of town. If anyone is using my beloved Clash of The Titans as an illustration of Greek myths... ... Holy Fuck, the American education system is in even worse shape than supposed.

Jason and the Argonauts wouldn't be a bad one, though, since it's got the Best Hercules Ever, and totally captures they whole "The Gods, they fuck with us" aspect of classical Greek mythology that is so alien to the all-powerful, all-loving, all-perfeczzzzzsnor whrr did I doze off? ...modern desert-derived religions.

Jason was a really great film. My wife had never seen it and I got a copy because Best Hercules Ever and she agreed that it was a pretty good take on Greek myth. Then she bought me Clash of the Titan because I had fond memories of it and... ugh. It's shit. Really, some of the scenes are great, but as a movie it's shit. I had genuinely forgotten that stupid fucking owl - edited out of my mental stream like it was repressed memory syndrome at work.
posted by rodgerd at 12:48 AM on December 3, 2009 [4 favorites]

Perhaps in thirty or forty years this too will be a beloved piece of childhood nostalgia. Now I must get back to guarding my lawn.
posted by irisclara at 1:12 AM on December 3, 2009

Looks like it will be a pretty good popcorn film. Which was, if I remember it correctly (it's been a while since I saw it) what the original was as well. Is it just me, though, or is there a Mummy/Scorpion King aesthetic going on here? And not just because there are giant scorpions - the black-robed priests (presumably of Hades) and the assorted undead all remind me of Imhotep and his minions....
posted by AdamCSnider at 1:22 AM on December 3, 2009

Upon Further Review: I was in my twenties when it came out and enjoyed it then. I'll keep an open mind until I see the next installment.
Now: The Sinbad movies were pretty cool!

Are you fucking high?! Dude, when "Jingle All the Way" is your motherfuckin' cinematic 'magnum opus', that is very much the opposite of cool, man...
posted by hincandenza at 1:29 AM on December 3, 2009

I guess neither the original nor this one is a faithful translation of the myths, though the new one is no doubt worse.

What I found interesting, though, was that watching the trailer for the new one, I had no idea it was based on myths in any way (not having seen the original either). They had a classical statue or two, what looked like the trireme for Civ, and a bunch of what seemed to me Roman soldiers. I thought mainly "Lord of the Rings knockoff", whereas the original trailer from 1981 made it perfectly clear what the sources are. It's almost as if the makers of the movie are terrified at the possibility that they might make someone feel dumb for not getting a reference, and will go to any lengths to avoid it.
posted by alexei at 1:42 AM on December 3, 2009 [1 favorite]

Speaking of movies-about-ancient-greece, I am waiting for Broken Lizard to do this thing, already:

(from wiki)

Greek Road: an R-rated comedy set in Ancient Greece. The movie will follow Heffernan as a young Plato who is a freshman wrestling student at Athens University. Plato is planning to wrestle for the university in the Olympics, but he is failing his Basic Thought class; so the university hires Socrates, a senior played by Lemme, to tutor Plato. Plato ends up cheating and passing the class, and the two travel to Mt. Olympus together. On the road, Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades (played by the other three members) make bets on whether or not Plato and Socrates will make it and begin getting in their way.
posted by thisperon at 2:08 AM on December 3, 2009 [1 favorite]

mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey: "Andromeda in the tub."

conifer: "The woman breastfeeding in the first few minutes - that's what the 12 year old me remembers!"

I just watched the trailer and couldn't help but notice some of the... strategic camerawork around Medusa. Anyone want to bet that the nipples (NSFW Medusa-nipples) get covered up?

Oh, and why does no one ever remember Stheno and Euryale? They were all that Medusa was and immortal, too! Medusa is basically famous for getting killed!
posted by PontifexPrimus at 2:16 AM on December 3, 2009

Has someone told these guys that Zeus and Hades are not Titans?

As far as I can tell, there isn't a single Titan in either version. It's like making and American Civil War movie called Battle of the Europeans.
posted by Grangousier at 2:19 AM on December 3, 2009 [5 favorites]

Hey, as long as it keeps Sydney Padua employed so she can carry on with the adventures of Babbage and Lovelace...
posted by Katemonkey at 4:20 AM on December 3, 2009

For the love of Zeus and Harry Hamlin, since when did 'bold ballet leap with sword!' become a required heroic maneuver? I mean, just look at this dude!

In what context would that move be helpful? "I know, I'll leap at you with my sword behind me so that I look so brave when I- o crap a spearrrrrr!"
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:20 AM on December 3, 2009 [4 favorites]

Lets not get hung up on comparing this to the original version. This looks like it sucks all by itself, without that comparison.
posted by papercake at 6:56 AM on December 3, 2009 [2 favorites]

I just watched the trailer and couldn't help but notice some of the... strategic camerawork around Medusa.

Stop looking at Medusa!!!
posted by rokusan at 7:05 AM on December 3, 2009 [3 favorites]

As far as I can tell, there isn't a single Titan in either version.

Does Aphrodite count? She's the combination of Chronos's severed wang and sea water, does that count (unless you believe that hack Homer in which case she's the child of Zeus and his Titanic aunt Dodona)?
posted by Pollomacho at 7:15 AM on December 3, 2009

Sorry, Dione the goddess of Oracle of Dodona
posted by Pollomacho at 7:16 AM on December 3, 2009

I recently showed my kids the original and my five year old was really scared by Burgess Meredith with the spooky mask on.
posted by stinkycheese at 7:18 AM on December 3, 2009

And it's Uranus's wang cut off by Chronos. I should learn to proofread my own writing.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:18 AM on December 3, 2009

Ha. From IMDB's trivia for the original:

According to mythology, there was Cerberus the THREE-headed dog, but no Dioskilos with two. They asked Ray Harryhausen why he didn't use a three-headed dog, and he said it takes too much time to animate the extra head.
posted by stinkycheese at 7:26 AM on December 3, 2009

Oh man, I saw the original at the drive-in as a kid. I will go see this at the drive-in when it comes out, eat a funnel cake, and then take a small ball which I've written all my childhood dreams onto with marker and putt it into one of the holes at the new addition to the drive-in, the mini-putt-putt golf course.

It'll be the most profoundly kitschy funeral EVER. Then I'll raise a lighter and scream:

HARRYHOUSENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

This remake is doomed to fail if for no other reason than Burgess Meredith is dead. I loved him so much in the original.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 7:26 AM on December 3, 2009

1981: "The kids are really into this Star Wars thing. Let's make a cheap sword-and-sandal with a few British scenery chewers. Add a robot and a cool sword."

2010: "The kids are really into this 300 thing. Let's make an expensive sword-and-sandal with a few British scenery chewers. Add some cgi."

But, oh god -- I just looked at the wiki page for the new movie. One of the characters is "Mads Mikkelsen as Draco, leader of the Praetorian Guard".

All I can think of is this PBF comic.
posted by condour75 at 7:47 AM on December 3, 2009

Without Burgess Meredith going "By the Gods!" it just ain't gonna be as good. That and "Release...the KRAKEN!!" done in Burgess Meredith voices, are still catchphrases around our nerdly household.

Burgess made everything better.
posted by emjaybee at 7:53 AM on December 3, 2009 [3 favorites]

To further stomp on your childhood memories, Disney is remaking The Black Hole next.
posted by octothorpe at 7:55 AM on December 3, 2009

To further stomp on your childhood memories, Disney is remaking The Black Hole next.

Eh, the Black Hole was pretty terrible.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:57 AM on December 3, 2009

Disney is remaking The Black Hole next.

Queue the people complaining about how great The Black Hole was and how dare they tromp on our memories! (Go on, I dare ya.) Vincent 4eva!

That being said, why keep remaking old movies? Do they have something new to say?
posted by Nelson at 8:00 AM on December 3, 2009

Burhanistan: "To further stomp on your childhood memories, Disney is remaking The Black Hole next.

Eh, the Black Hole was pretty terrible ."

Well, yea but so was "Clash of the Titans". And actually I saw Tron recently and while it's got about 20 minutes of cool animation, mostly it sucks.
posted by octothorpe at 8:03 AM on December 3, 2009

That and "Release...the KRAKEN!!" done in Burgess Meredith voices, are still catchphrases around our nerdly household.

Wasn't that Olivier's line?
posted by Pollomacho at 8:07 AM on December 3, 2009

m0nm0n:
... GENERIC BUTT ROCK...

heh heh, that's funny.
_{Def Leppard rules!}
posted by bitteroldman at 8:11 AM on December 3, 2009

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS when you watch the original Clash of the Titans too many times as a kid and have an artist mom who knows how to make papier mache helmets and also you're a demanding little pain in the ass who insists she MUST BE ATHENA for Halloween, the end.

Fuck the remake, I'm gonna go watch my DVD of the original.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:12 AM on December 3, 2009 [9 favorites]

Plato is planning to wrestle for the university in the Olympics, but he is failing his Basic Thought class; so the university hires Socrates Bill and Ted
posted by octobersurprise at 8:33 AM on December 3, 2009 [2 favorites]

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS when you watch the original Clash of the Titans too many times as a kid and have an artist mom who knows how to make papier mache helmets and also you're a demanding little pain in the ass who insists she MUST BE ATHENA for Halloween, the end.

You have just convinced me to buy a copy of the original for my daughter. Thank you.
posted by Pollomacho at 8:37 AM on December 3, 2009

Pair it with a copy of this, Pollomacho, if she's 12-or-under, and she'll be totally psyched. That's probably where I gleaned most of my visuals as a kid. Then I went on to reading the Edith Hamilton book & stuff...
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:40 AM on December 3, 2009

Holy smokes, the D'Aulaires did a book of Greek myths as well? I had their book of Norse myths on permanent library check-out when I was a kid, and just recently got a copy of my own as the best gift ever.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:12 AM on December 3, 2009

The original came out when I was in high school, but I was struck by how old-fashioned the trailer seemed, with its "Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer present..." and the "starring Harry Hamlin as" title cards and all.

The new trailer, with it's fast-cut action snippets with rousing music and no voiceover will seem very dated in its own way someday.
posted by not that girl at 9:16 AM on December 3, 2009

I loved that movie so much. It coincided with my serious bonghit-and-go-to-the-"cinema" years (Inframan! Dune!) and it was perfect, particularly for somebody like me, who adored all stop motion movies in her childhood. I think the 7th Voyage of Sinbad was one of the first movies I ever saw and one of the few I saw with my father.

Hell, I still occasionally say Release the Kraken! in the correct circumstances. I'm actually happy they're making a new one; I mean, why not? It's a great excuse to watch the old one again and - I say this because I love - no matter how bad the remake is, it is not exactly like they are fucking with one of the great masterpieces of twentieth century film. There is always more room in the canon for bonghit-and-go movies.
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:55 AM on December 3, 2009

I say 'release the kraken' and then my boyfriend drops his pants.

/not really, but damn, that would be funny
posted by bitter-girl.com at 10:02 AM on December 3, 2009

I say 'release the kraken' and then my boyfriend drops his pants.

...and it's already turned to stone...
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:18 AM on December 3, 2009 [3 favorites]

They don't call me Medusa for nothing, ROU_Xenophobe. I have that effect on all the boys.

/again, not really, but play along for the sake of the joke
posted by bitter-girl.com at 11:34 AM on December 3, 2009

One does not simply walk into Mordor Hades...
posted by usonian at 12:26 PM on December 3, 2009

Wasn't that Olivier's line?'

Possibly. It's funnier in a Burgess Meredith voice, though.
posted by emjaybee at 12:57 PM on December 3, 2009 [1 favorite]

How many tentacles does a kraken have, anyway?
posted by Decimask at 4:16 PM on December 3, 2009

Enough. The Kraken has enough tentacles - to go around.
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:09 PM on December 3, 2009 [1 favorite]

Some people may welcome the new special effects, but for some who grew up on his movies, the stop animation cannot be replaced

This was exactly my thought when watching the trailer. It used to be that when you watched a movie you could be amazed at special effects because you either had no earthly idea how they were done and where therefore Movie Majik, or you did know how they were done and were amazed at the work that went into the effect. Nowadays, special effects are assumed to be the result of a nerdy programmer. It just isn't the same for me.
posted by Doohickie at 8:47 PM on December 3, 2009 [1 favorite]

Nowadays, special effects are assumed to be the result of a nerdy programmer. It just isn't the same for me.

I agree wholeheartedly. I much prefer the models and the ingenuity, even if they don't (sometimes, only sometimes!) look as good.
posted by adamdschneider at 12:31 PM on December 4, 2009