Unforgivable

December 5, 2009 4:59 PM

Hip-hop mogul and "fascinating man" Sean Combs sells bubble bath and shares details about the Diddy lifestyle during a narcotizing appearance on the Home Shopping Network. (SLYT)
posted by hermitosis (54 comments total)

It's uncomfortable how hard she's working to manufacture excitement here.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 5:03 PM on December 5, 2009

She isn't selling "Unforgivable", she's selling herself -- to him.
posted by hermitosis at 5:05 PM on December 5, 2009

Matt is clearly missing a golden marketing opportunity. Where is Metafilter: The Fragrance?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:09 PM on December 5, 2009 [5 favorites]

Kind of embodies what he's always been about. Marketing overdone crap.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:12 PM on December 5, 2009 [3 favorites]

Where is Metafilter: The Fragrance?

Never let them forget you're better . . .

Snark
For Assholes
posted by Mikey-San at 5:13 PM on December 5, 2009 [28 favorites]

1) Dip chin in shallow bowl of wood glue

2) Dip chin in shallow bowl of magnetic filings

3) Let dry

4) SELL SOME MOTHERFUCKIN' BUBBLE BATH
posted by Greg Nog at 5:16 PM on December 5, 2009 [10 favorites]

He also bragged about beating Oprah's marathon time.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:16 PM on December 5, 2009

'I respect their fragrances'
posted by Damienmce at 5:22 PM on December 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

Apparently, Unforgivable Woman causes Puffy to have sex in stairwells then pray for forgiveness when finished?
posted by Burhanistan at 5:22 PM on December 5, 2009

"Sean John"?
posted by DU at 5:24 PM on December 5, 2009

How many nicknames do I have to go through before I can chill on HSN and give a shoutout to my Twitter friends at IAML33TPOLICYWONK?
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 5:31 PM on December 5, 2009

Horace Rumpole: Where is Metafilter: The Fragrance?

With subtle hints of your white / male / hetero-normative / American privilege...

Plate of beans: Overthink it.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 5:33 PM on December 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

'I respect their fragrances''I have a lotta respect for their fragrances' #evenWORSE
posted by stevil at 5:35 PM on December 5, 2009

He also bragged about beating Oprah's marathon time.

You're kidding here, right? Bragging about beating some non-athlete 15 years older than you in a marathon? Classy.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:41 PM on December 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

This woman is totally egging him on and he doesn't get it at all -- he seems to be taking all of her ridiculous flattery at face value. Is this what fame does to people?

I bet at the end of the day she went home and talked about how exhausting it was to be on TV with him, and he went home and told people that the host was really nice and seemed pretty into him.
posted by hermitosis at 5:44 PM on December 5, 2009 [3 favorites]

Where is Metafilter: The Fragrance?

Still in the lab. You'd be surprised how hard it is to make beans, taters, and HAMBURGER into something that smells any better than the urinals in an abandoned bus station.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:56 PM on December 5, 2009 [10 favorites]

Judging by some of the complaining I've heard from non-MeFites about Metafilter's high value in pagerank, apparently that is what we smell like.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:06 PM on December 5, 2009

Diddy hawking his bullshit fragrance on HSN, Joan Rivers hawking her tacky tchotchkes on QVC, it's all the same ..... why is this a novelty?

The “sensual, creamy floral” includes notes of bergamot, orange, neroli, cassis, grapefruit, apple, cucumber, piña colada, orange flower, jasmine, violet, muguet, freesia, cyclamen, amber, tonka beans, coco de mer, vanilla tears, cedar, sandalwood, oak moss, patchouli, vetiver and iris.

Sounds like a godawful recipe for allergic overload to me.
posted by blucevalo at 6:21 PM on December 5, 2009

MetaFilter: we smell pretty pagerank
posted by DU at 6:21 PM on December 5, 2009 [3 favorites]

I am glad to know that he stands for the aspirational part of the brand. At least he's honest. The pyramid of notes is also very helpful! It's Maslow's Pyramid of cheap perfume!
posted by winna at 6:21 PM on December 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

The rumor going around now says his fragrance line smells like Christopher Wallace's nutsack.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:25 PM on December 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

Diddy hawking his bullshit fragrance on HSN, Joan Rivers hawking her tacky tchotchkes on QVC, it's all the same ..... why is this a novelty?

I'm intrigued. Wikipedia says he's worth a few hundred million dollars. By my reckoning he has no real reason to be there if he doesn't want to be.
posted by Frasermoo at 6:27 PM on December 5, 2009

Still in the lab. You'd be surprised how hard it is to make beans, taters, and HAMBURGER into something that smells any better than the urinals in an abandoned bus station.
What, no pancakes?
posted by Evstar at 6:30 PM on December 5, 2009

There was a piece on NPR last week about how fragrances are the most lucrative way to cash in on celebrity name recognition, because they're cheap to produced with a very high mark-up.
posted by muddgirl at 6:58 PM on December 5, 2009

Unsmiling Puff is a product. Of us. A simple fish risen to shark feeding on a shared need to belong.
There will be more.
Also Crazy.

(Shout out to my dealer)
posted by vapidave at 7:00 PM on December 5, 2009

Diddy is a bawsack
posted by fire&wings at 7:09 PM on December 5, 2009

One of my favorite HSN videos.
posted by msbutah at 7:13 PM on December 5, 2009 [3 favorites]

neroli, cassis,

My brain combined that into necrosis. Ick.
posted by amyms at 7:36 PM on December 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

My brain combined that into necrosis. Ick.

No, but a remarkable facsimile.
posted by Limiter at 7:48 PM on December 5, 2009

Man, I hate this guy. Among horrible, self-aggrandizing hip-hop personalities, I think he's probably the worst. At least Kanye West is a talented producer.
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:46 PM on December 5, 2009 [3 favorites]

Fuck this video is 4 days old! I called and they're not even offering the His & Hers Bubble Bath gift with purchase anymore. Flagged.
posted by mullacc at 8:47 PM on December 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

Duh.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:58 PM on December 5, 2009

Watching home shopping blooper reels as a result of this thread, I'm now convinced of the need to import some UK home shopping channels. I'd love to see Diddy on Ideal World.
posted by Monsters at 9:03 PM on December 5, 2009

Where is Metafilter: The Fragrance?

Matt can only make so many cyclocross races in a year.
posted by dhartung at 9:20 PM on December 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

Diddy was once worthy. Money gets to people.
posted by roygbv at 9:51 PM on December 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

dhartung: Matt can only make so many cyclocross races in a year.

Is that what that is? When I first came into this thread, I thought I smelled Larry Bird...
posted by hincandenza at 9:54 PM on December 5, 2009

This is just so awesome.

Did you know I take a bath every night?

Do you use a towel?

No, I air dry.

Oh I think I did hear that!
posted by xmutex at 10:02 PM on December 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

So when does Kanye's perfume come out? Maybe it'll sit on the shelf next to Diddy's with a little electronic voicebox that says, "I'm really happy for you and Imma let you finish, but Chanel #5 is one of the best perfumes of all time."
posted by Talanvor at 10:22 PM on December 5, 2009

Anyone out there who wants to be an artist, and wants to stay a star, and doesn't want to worry about their Executive Producer trying to be all in the video, all on the record -- dancing -- come to Death Row!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:26 AM on December 6, 2009

Diddy was once worthy.

Interesting you say that and post that video. I really like that song, but I don't think he's ever been worthy of the amount of fame he's garnered, so to speak. When that song came out he was calling himself Puffy and talking over other peoples rap albums. He couldn't rap back then and I'll go further and maintain he still can't rap. This is a guy who got the bright idea of inserting (marketing) himself on other people's work. Then when he had enough fame, cashed in and sold himself as an artist when in fact he obviously has very little if any talent. If he has anything, it's marketing savvy. He saw what Rusell Simmons had built and did it in half the time with quadruple the fame. He's found himself in the right place, by way of both luck and determination, and was able to turn some very raw and talented people into cash cows which not only funded him but also allowed his name to be tied with therr eventual rise. So beyond his abilities as a "rap artist" does anyone here think he came up with any pertinent parts of his business ventures? Did he really design any of the (really simple) clothes with his name on it or did he just give the go ahead on what he liked? Did he really design his own vodka, or this cologne/perfume? Has anyone here seen him act? Rhetorical, don't. He's shit.
Sean "I used to have a nickname connoting I smoked a lot of weed until I wanted to broaden my market appeal through Disney" Combs is a smart business man, reeeeaaallly smart, but let's be honest why he's famous and what he's about which seems to have been lost on the masses with this guy's sleight of hand maneuvers.
posted by P.o.B. at 1:29 AM on December 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

He was supposed to be obviously what -- drugged or something in that infomercial? Looked like the usual obvious standard TV crap. No drugging in view. Lets see some real drugging on the tube, shooting up or hitting a stem or something, not this weak shit.
posted by telstar at 2:53 AM on December 6, 2009

When that song came out he was calling himself Puffy and talking over other peoples rap albums. He couldn't rap back then and I'll go further and maintain he still can't rap.

So, he talked over other people's talking over samples of other people's music?
posted by belvidere at 4:08 AM on December 6, 2009

P.o.B., well, yeah. He isn't a rapper and shouldn't try - he was best with Mack and Biggie and that is all. He was once a worthy producer, I should have said. He is now a deranged man selling nothing.
posted by roygbv at 4:33 AM on December 6, 2009

belvidere, here is the talking bit in question - not much of a flow, you see? But the mack brings it home.
posted by roygbv at 4:35 AM on December 6, 2009

Needs more screaming Busta Rhymes.

We got the real carbon chains with aromatic attach,
gonna pop like champagne up in your bubble bath.
Where my bubbles is at?
Where my bubbles is at?
Where the fuck my bubbles at?
Where my bubbles is at?
posted by kid ichorous at 7:24 AM on December 6, 2009 [3 favorites]

"Puffy" wasn't about smoking weed -- I had thought it was because of the down jacket he wore, which became a big fashion item around the time he had started promoting in NY. However, his Wikipedia bio says it's related to huffing and puffing as a little boy when he was angry.
posted by ltracey at 7:55 AM on December 6, 2009

The scent is really CK1 with yeah's, uh-huh's, and that's right's sprinkled in.
posted by dr_dank at 8:17 AM on December 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

I just realized that Woot is the Home Shopping Network for geeks.
posted by grouse at 8:56 AM on December 6, 2009 [3 favorites]

Where is Metafilter: The Fragrance?


Still in the lab. You'd be surprised how hard it is to make beans, taters, and HAMBURGER into something that smells any better than the urinals in an abandoned bus station.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:56 PM on December 5

WAIT!
no BACON?!?!?
posted by liza at 12:35 PM on December 6, 2009

"Puffy" wasn't about smoking weed -- I had thought it was because of the down jacket he wore, which became a big fashion item around the time he had started promoting in NY. However, his Wikipedia bio says it's related to huffing and puffing as a little boy when he was angry.

I had always assumed it was a completely obvious reference to a puffy comb, i.e. that comb with the big handle that people would keep in a back pocket in the years of Farrah hair.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:53 PM on December 6, 2009

"Puffy" wasn't about smoking weed -- I had thought it was because of the down jacket he wore, which became a big fashion item around the time he had started promoting in NY. However, his Wikipedia bio says it's related to huffing and puffing as a little boy when he was angry.

I had always assumed it was a completely obvious reference to a puffy comb, i.e. that comb with the big handle that people would keep in a back pocket in the years of Farrah hair.

Well first off I'm not going to believ shit that guy says. Second, Biggie was the one who made North Face jackets hugely popular by rapping about them. And last I think Combs is smoking a blunt in more than one video, so I don't know, but I wouldn't put it outside of the realm of unbelievability that he was called Puffy because he like to smoke weed.
posted by P.o.B. at 5:15 PM on December 6, 2009

Well, that HSN lady was right about one thing - he was destined to sell right the fuck out.
posted by Bageena at 7:28 PM on December 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

Go to 14:30...

posted by rbf1138 at 8:25 PM on December 6, 2009

Obvious answer to why he is whoring himself on HSN: he found a $1 bill in his pocket. Horror!
posted by jckll at 9:47 AM on December 7, 2009