"Until then, the only music anyone heard was Opera.."

December 8, 2009 9:11 AM

The Year 3000 looks back on the Beatles: A future-documentary on the world-changing impact of the Fab Four. (via)
posted by The Whelk (44 comments total)

I liked it a lot. Especially Scottie's appearance...but it really does go off the rails at the end...
posted by Richat at 9:13 AM on December 8, 2009

It was okay. They could have put a little effort into the clothing: where are the diagonally-zipping jumpsuits that people in the future wear?
posted by Sangermaine at 9:18 AM on December 8, 2009

Tiny Fuppets
posted by I Foody at 9:19 AM on December 8, 2009

Yeah, this would have been funnier if they didn't go as ridiculous as they did, thus making the video appear humorously believable. I really wish more people understood the concept of humor in subtlety.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:21 AM on December 8, 2009 [5 favorites]

Apparently everyone still needs to wear glasses in the year 3000.
posted by matty at 9:21 AM on December 8, 2009

It peaked with Pippen then just kind of became an SNL-esque labor of repetition.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:24 AM on December 8, 2009

World War II
posted by es_de_bah at 9:24 AM on December 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

(I liked it cause I was just listening to the History Of Rome podcast about how various achievements, over time, tend to get amalgamated into one mythic person)
posted by The Whelk at 9:24 AM on December 8, 2009

More direct via, for anthropologists in the year 3000.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:24 AM on December 8, 2009

Well, historians do, anyway, matty. They need to maintain their eggheadedness.

Burhanistan, I also enjoyed Pippen's beatle hair, in the illustrations. Pippen was a two-time winner, I'd say.
posted by Richat at 9:25 AM on December 8, 2009

This is totally fake. Look at the typographic conventions and contemporary font choices.
posted by srboisvert at 9:27 AM on December 8, 2009 [3 favorites]

I dug it, but I agree that it was funniest when it was kept more believable. A case of "less is more". Although the recreation of the lost song was pretty damn hilarious.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:29 AM on December 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

The Who? Never heard of 'em.
posted by Eideteker at 9:31 AM on December 8, 2009

Hehe, I think this is awesome.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:36 AM on December 8, 2009

Steel Beach by John Varley.
posted by DU at 9:40 AM on December 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

"Layla in the Sky for the Benefit of Shaft"

Clearly, this needs to be enshrined next to the classic Motel of the Mysteries as cautionary tale to all archaeologists and anthropologists. Looking back to the year 1009 I have to wonder what we've gotten so absurdly wrong.
posted by anastasiav at 9:44 AM on December 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

Cute. I agree with the "less is more" critique, though. Some truth mixed-in with the balderdash would have sold it better. So, who's up for a screening of All You Need is Cash?
posted by Thorzdad at 9:57 AM on December 8, 2009

Layla in the Sky for the Benefit of Shaft

"Layla on the Riders in the Sky on the Storm for the Benefit of Shaft" would have been better.
posted by Caduceus at 10:10 AM on December 8, 2009

People are going to think we worshipped Darth Vader and Britteny Spears in the future.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:19 AM on December 8, 2009

People are going to think we worshipped Darth Vader and Britteny Spears in the future.

They will be correct.
posted by Babblesort at 10:22 AM on December 8, 2009 [28 favorites]

"The causal term for these God-Kings was "Star", reflecting their unearthly status and role in the Myth Cycle. The title appears to be a seasonal thing, much like the tradition of a "Summer King" or "May Queen" in other cultures. The "Star" would be plucked from the American Civilization and venerated as a God, given every license, and then ritually destroyed. However, some Stars appear over and over again in the Myth Cycle, living well beyond a single season or festival, leading weight to the theory that they were mythological themselves, and the origin of the "Star System".
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on December 8, 2009 [6 favorites]

I think this idea that in the future we'll have as imperfect an idea of today's history as we do today about the past is a little unlikely. Our record keeping technology and systems are far beyond anything in known history. Unless there is a massive breakdown of civilization, an accompanying loss of scientific and engineering knowledge, and either a vast shift in language or a massive widescale destruction of books, there will be far more continuity in our knowledge in the future than even what we have with thirty years ago.

Of course, it's possible that the problem in the future will be sifting truth from rumor, fiction, and lies, but without a total collapse and reconstruction of civilization, the pieced together photographs and sheet music jokes really aren't likely to actually ring true in the future.
posted by Caduceus at 10:30 AM on December 8, 2009

I think this idea that in the future we'll have as imperfect an idea of today's history as we do today about the past is a little unlikely.

We barely understand yesterday, and we just lived it.
posted by mpbx at 10:37 AM on December 8, 2009 [5 favorites]

But at least we can believe in it.
posted by owtytrof at 10:54 AM on December 8, 2009

Our record keeping technology and systems are far beyond anything in known history.

On the other hand, I have stuff stored on 5 1/4" discs that is essentially lost to me forever because I don't have a machine that will read them.

Just because our technology is "beyond" anything known in history doesn't mean that its going to survive for that amount of time. We still know the names Wolfram von Eschenbach and Chrétien de Troyes, because their work has (by dint of both talent and luck) been passed down to us. But we don't really know anything about the story of their lives. Do I think its possible that people 1000 years from now will know the story of John Lennon's life, as famous and well-researched as he is now? Sure. But I also think its certainly possible that this version will survive instead of this one.
posted by anastasiav at 10:58 AM on December 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

It was OK, but made me wish that it had been done on Mr Show, so then I went to youtube to watch some Mr Show sketches, just so I could be reminded that more money equals greater than.
posted by Elmore at 11:02 AM on December 8, 2009

Isn't the Beetles' real importance how they helped commercialize rock n' roll?
posted by jeffburdges at 11:34 AM on December 8, 2009

That thing was about as funny as waiting for the bus in the rain.
posted by xmutex at 11:37 AM on December 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

i felt dirty after watching all of that, so i found some mind bleach
posted by Primofex at 11:53 AM on December 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

Well, I laughed out loud at the Cheers riff. Also, Louis Armstrong did knock a Beatles song out of the number one slot.
posted by evilcolonel at 11:59 AM on December 8, 2009

Unless there is a massive breakdown of civilization

Well that never happens.
posted by philip-random at 2:00 PM on December 8, 2009

"It was okay. They could have put a little effort into the clothing: where are the diagonally-zipping jumpsuits that people in the future wear?"

Really that's just a futurist stereotype, only the 3009 hipsters wear those as a sort of ironic retro reference to some obscure dead pop culture thing. Them and those Gernsback punks activating their nordic gene sequences so they look all anglo, skating and tricking of the library in their zeppelins, with the raygun goths looking on, sticking some ground up weed wrapped in paper in their faces and lighting it on fire, what the hell is that all about anyway?
These kids with their cancer fetish and their fixation with 'Ian G. MacDonald' (whoever that was) saying "for the majority of people, the use of tobacco has a beneficial effect" as an answer to everything, just saying it to each other all the time, irritating their teachers with it in smass, listening to their damn self-reflexive music inverting subjectivity. Why can't they just mutate like normal kids? Ah, don't get me started.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:07 PM on December 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

Apparently everyone still needs to wear glasses in the year 3000.

And it looks like books will have a longer shelf life than we are currently being led to believe.
posted by IndigoJones at 2:31 PM on December 8, 2009

Our record keeping technology and systems are far beyond anything in known history.

I wrote a story with a main character who was a digital archeologist. He would attempt to recover data from obsolete forms of data storage.

You'll get a lot more information about the people involved out of a sediment-covered rock shelter than you will out of a rusted hard drive.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 3:04 PM on December 8, 2009

Snur Snur!

Yawrall meats frus now! Meatsmeatsmeats! Snur! Snur-Snur!

Hafta, implanto go fooz and poofs, fooz and poofs!

The Bittles Rawrk!

Sincerely,
Your Children's Children's Children's Children,
Arcology Seven,
Buried Down Deep, Former USA version 2.0
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:12 PM on December 8, 2009

I'm still of the opinion that the Pyramids in Egypt were a shopping complex for people back then. Looking back over millennia gives a lot of opportunity for the picture to become blurry.
posted by msbutah at 3:30 PM on December 8, 2009

Well done, but not as funny as it might have been.

We all get the underlying premise of the joke, that over time information gets confused or lost. But as someone said earlier, it would have been funnier if it had been more subtle.

Some iffy examples off of the top of my head: why not blame Linda McCartney for breaking up the Beatles and credit Yoko to saving the Beatles and being the most musically talented. Maybe call McCartney "Macca" and say that a holy city was founded in his honor (Mecca).

Maybe the Beatles enjoyed early success because John Lennon was the Soviet emperor's grandson (Vladimir Lennon), or otherwise confuse Lenin/Lennon, hence their song "Back in the USSR". Also say that some of their first songs were in the ancient lost language of Russian, then play some of their German covers.

"Ringo" was the founder of the "Ringling Brothers Circus". He brought his circus skills to the group, hence the recurring circus themes found in Sgt. Peppers. Ringo became the most popular Beatle after Pete Best was killed when the Viet Donkey Kong carpet bombed London during the Battle of Britain.

And for that matter, why not say the Beatles were comprised of:

John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Pete Best, Sgt. Peppers, Billy Shears, and a more mysterious Mr. Kite. (Somebody was playing all of those orchestral instruments, right?).

Later that group later fractured, and John, Paul, George and Yoko went on to form Wings.

One of their most famous songs, "Back in the USSR" was actually written by John and Ringo in their first band, the Beach Boys. Just like modern Liverpool, ancient Liverpool was a wealthy tropical paradise resort town, thanks to Global Warming. Octopus' Garden was an ironic song about how the oceans swallowed up the American state of Florida shortly it elected George Bush to the presidency of the Pro Global Warming Party. The song "Fool on the Hill" was about George Bush.

Play a selection from their music on a rare vinyl disc that skips, where the skipping and loud static are both believed to have been intentional and evidence of the group's creative genius.

State for a fact that they were "Bigger than Jesus", then explain the little known cult of Christianity before the Cult of Star Trek took over the world.

Also the Beatles were great pioneers of equality; the White Album was the first rock album that white people in America were allowed to purchase, after segregation ended. Unfortunately for white people, their struggle for equality would never be realized, as evidenced by the black majority composition of professional sports teams and every president since Barack Obama, who served an unprecedented 8 terms and freed the white people from slavery during America's civil war.

And of course the most famous Beatles song of all time, which ended up becoming Germany's national anthem? Number 9.

/rambling
posted by Davenhill at 4:17 PM on December 8, 2009 [6 favorites]

I mehhed out at "Nixovelt".
posted by dhartung at 5:27 PM on December 8, 2009

Magazine headline 3009

"WAS THERE A REAL "MARILYN MONROE"? Our report on the latest research, historians and scientists weigh on the question."
posted by The Whelk at 6:06 PM on December 8, 2009

Yeah, liked Davenhill's version a lot better :D
posted by wet-raspberry at 7:04 PM on December 8, 2009

I love this idea of future society misinterpreting out time in funny ways. If you want to see more (much more) TVTropes has an article, Future Imperfect, which reviews dozens of examples of this idea in TV, books, and film.

From the introduction:

People in the future tend to misunderstand past culture in funny ways. The further one goes into the future, the more distorted history seems to become. Apparently, history is the one science that gets worse rather than better in the distant future (though sometimes the fall of civilization destroyed all the data). Also, as time goes on, language shifts and evolves, while the historical data might not. In three hundred years, how many people will know what a Cotton Gin was for? How many people will actually be able to identify one? How many people will think it's booze made from distilled cotton? How many people already do?

posted by Rhaomi at 8:12 PM on December 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

How many people will think it's booze made from distilled cotton? How many people already do?

<.< >.>
posted by breath at 10:36 PM on December 8, 2009

I love this idea of future society misinterpreting out time in funny ways.

It's already happened. Look no further than the notion that the 80s were even remotely cool.
posted by philip-random at 11:23 PM on December 8, 2009

the 80s

Compare them to the '70s....or the '90s.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 7:54 AM on December 9, 2009