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Top 10 Sexy Geeks - 2010
December 27, 2009 10:28 AM   Subscribe

This year's Top 10 Sexy Geeks
posted by serazin (178 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Fuck, they lost my application in the mail, again. Always ask for the return receipt!
posted by mathowie at 10:32 AM on December 27, 2009 [68 favorites]


This seems like Chapter One of One Hundred Geeks Violet Blue Would Like to Pork.

It's a coffee table book.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:35 AM on December 27, 2009 [16 favorites]


Paul Carr? Really?
posted by oinopaponton at 10:43 AM on December 27, 2009


By top ten geeks, they mean top ten self-promoters that technology journalists find interesting, apparently.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:43 AM on December 27, 2009 [68 favorites]


Top ten people who work with computers but manage to vaguely resemble the rest of humanity.
posted by fire&wings at 10:46 AM on December 27, 2009 [9 favorites]


CTRL + F "John Lea- 'God DAMMIT.
posted by The Whelk at 10:47 AM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


"Crystal Williams is the penultimate Hot Hacker Girl"

So there's another girl who's hotter or more hackery or something? Why isn't she #1?

Also, what does "recklessly handsome" mean?
posted by brundlefly at 10:48 AM on December 27, 2009 [15 favorites]


Wearing an intoxicating smile while operating heavy farm equipment.
posted by Iridic at 10:52 AM on December 27, 2009 [22 favorites]


"Hot Hacker Girl"?
"Cyborg Anthropologist"?

What, is it 1992 again?

I'm getting this made into a bumper sticker:
The Butlerian Jihad Cannot Come Soon Enough.
posted by Ratio at 10:52 AM on December 27, 2009 [58 favorites]


Can they recite complex SQL statements off the top of their heads?
posted by localhuman at 10:53 AM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Having a silly name seems to help...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:54 AM on December 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


brundlefly: "Also, what does "recklessly handsome" mean?"

It means that somebody is a significant amount of points above the legal limit.
posted by iamkimiam at 10:56 AM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Needs more Felicia Day.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:57 AM on December 27, 2009 [23 favorites]


"Crystal Williams is the penultimate Hot Hacker Girl"

So there's another girl who's hotter or more hackery or something? Why isn't she #1?


Hint: note who said list was compiled by. Either she's being coyly narcissistic or she doesn't know what the word "penultimate" means--neither reflects well on Ms. Blue.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:03 AM on December 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


No Professor Brian Cox? I may be a straight male, but I know geeky sexiness tied to smarts when I see it.
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:04 AM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh thank god, a "geek" list without Olivia Munn.
posted by june made him a gemini at 11:06 AM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


It's like I'm watching Hackers with one eye and reading Boing Boing with the other!
posted by Artw at 11:08 AM on December 27, 2009 [31 favorites]


As long as ijustine didn't win I'm happy, though she still could win the MOST ANNOYING ATTENTION WHORE in the world award.

Which is nice.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 11:10 AM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


(Suprised there hasn't been a "I had to cross and age-barrier into a pseudo-rr0n site with racy adverts and there wasn't an NSFW tag!" complaint yet.)
posted by Artw at 11:10 AM on December 27, 2009


Sidhedevil: "Hint: note who said list was compiled by. Either she's being coyly narcissistic or she doesn't know what the word "penultimate" means--neither reflects well on Ms. Blue."

Judging by the rest of the article, I'd say the later. I know who Violet Blue is, but this is my first time reading something by her. Is her writing always this bad?
posted by brundlefly at 11:11 AM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Because ugly geeks don't matter.
posted by Caduceus at 11:15 AM on December 27, 2009 [11 favorites]


But why? Should we be on the look out for the Top Ten Geekiest Sexy People?
posted by Sova at 11:15 AM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


Is Amber Case related to Mr. Lovecraft somehow?
posted by Evilspork at 11:21 AM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's a coffee table book.

"The girl in the taco commercial"

Funniest part of that movie, IMHO.
posted by Ratio at 11:24 AM on December 27, 2009


I'd byte it.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:25 AM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


and when he’s not pulling off capers like winning a Ford Fiesta with his mad video skillz, he’s observing and making subtle commentary on the uneasy marriage of social media and entertainment

I can't believe this, and "Violet Blue"'s entire persona and website, is not a parody.
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:27 AM on December 27, 2009 [11 favorites]


It's not?!??
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:28 AM on December 27, 2009


"Also, what does "recklessly handsome" mean?"

It means that somebody is a significant amount of points above the legal limit.


The other day, I got pulled over for reckless handsomement; initially, the cop noticed that one of my suaveometers was faulty, but then when he saw my radiant hottitude up close, he made me take a sextalyzer test. It turned out I was over the limit, so he was going to write me a ticket. Rather than have to deal with all that hassle, though, I just said, "Maybe you should take another look at my license," and handed him my wallet. And when he saw that I'd just "happened" to leave a few 8x10 glossy photos peeking out of the top, he gruffly pocketed them and said, "All right. That's all in order, then." And I said, "Maybe that's not ALL that's in order... LAW and order." And then he got all breathy, and I patted my knee like a sexy person does, and what do you think happened next? Reader, I married him.
posted by Greg Nog at 11:29 AM on December 27, 2009 [122 favorites]


I'm a computer guy, and I have never heard of any of these people. Equally meaningless, but far more clever would be somebody quick on the draw with a camera doing a "Top Ten Sexiest People I Personally Met This Year."
posted by GameDesignerBen at 11:32 AM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


This doesn't seem to be peer reviewed.
posted by tittergrrl at 11:34 AM on December 27, 2009 [25 favorites]


Why can't I meet a recklessly handsome man? ....Sigh.
posted by OrangeSoda at 11:34 AM on December 27, 2009


Apparently geek=mostly age 30 or under.
posted by humannaire at 11:38 AM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


This doesn't seem to be peer reviewed.

Heh. Given who her peer is...

"I hate you!"
"I hate you!"
"I really hate you! You don't exist!"
"Wht th fck? I ht y!"
posted by Artw at 11:41 AM on December 27, 2009 [21 favorites]


The self-described genderqueer geek and “web slave” quietly hacks on everything within reach

I just hacked my ham sandwich by adding brown mustard! A jawdropping feat of breadcraft!

This mechanical pencil? Also a zit-popper. Hackery!

Yesterday on the bus I was a little sleepy so I wadded up my coat and used it as a pillow! Hackariffic!

That ham sandwich I mentioned before the jump? Gave me heartburn! So I hacked my wetware with a Pepcid AC! Jawdropping!
posted by Ratio at 11:41 AM on December 27, 2009 [258 favorites]


Why can't I meet a recklessly handsome man? ....Sigh.

I do not care how many geese there are flying about - let me onto this rollercoaster!!
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:42 AM on December 27, 2009 [25 favorites]


I looked over the whole list but all I could see was this:

LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME
posted by uri at 11:50 AM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ratio: "I just hacked my ham sandwich by adding brown mustard! A jawdropping feat of breadcraft!"

I can't stop giggling at this phrase.
posted by brundlefly at 11:55 AM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


what? xeni jardin isn't on the list? really?
posted by sexyrobot at 12:04 PM on December 27, 2009 [8 favorites]


I would hit the crap out of Sirus. I mean seriously. I would wreck that. Damn.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:08 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Too soon, sexyrobot, too soon.
posted by boo_radley at 12:11 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


breadcraft

OMFG SANDWICH ARTISTS ARE OP NERF NOW PLZ
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:16 PM on December 27, 2009 [5 favorites]


I could bitch about how dumb this list is, but I'd like to instead point out how broken the premise is. I happen to know a lot of sexy geeks, and they'd hate to be on this list. I'll let you in on a secret: getting away from bullshit high school popularity contests is a major motivating factor for many geeks. Some of the more attractive geeks I know have labored for years to be recognized for their skills and accomplishments rather than their eyes or asses.

So stuff like this? Yeah, not so much a fan. Kudos for not featuring the sort of people who'd be pissed off if they were featured, though. I guess.
posted by phooky at 12:21 PM on December 27, 2009 [15 favorites]


This reads exactly the way you'd imagine one of those Us magazines would read if you were to take one down and read it rather than standing there looking at it in a faintly baffled way for lack of anything else to do in the convenience store checkout line. But apparently this is hipper and edgier in some way. Is it the haircuts?
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:21 PM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Why can't I meet a recklessly handsome man? ....Sigh.

Fortunately my wife settled for "levelheadedly cute at certain angles".
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:27 PM on December 27, 2009 [5 favorites]




Chaff
posted by Burhanistan at 12:33 PM on December 27, 2009


I'm with GameDesignerBen. I don't recognize anyone on the list except the TC guy.

I'm just surprised she didn't put herself on it.
posted by mkultra at 12:35 PM on December 27, 2009


Why can't I meet a recklessly handsome man? ....Sigh.

We're all taken.
posted by nola at 12:39 PM on December 27, 2009


Kudos for not featuring the sort of people who'd be pissed off if they were featured, though

uh, yeah! I would never allow myself to be exploited thus. That's why I'm not listed. Really. Well, that and my inability to code my way out of a wet paper bag. I have lots of polyhedral dice which ought to make up for that, but no, don't exploit my visage for your list. That's what I said. Yup.

posted by waraw at 12:44 PM on December 27, 2009


I am eternally indebted to Violet Blue for producing one of the greatest pieces of internet drama I have ever witnessed.

In a nutshell: a community blog run by people obsessively against censorship and constantly invoking 1984 (one of the founders even wrote a 1984-influenced novel called Little Brother) over every current events article that comes their way deletes all mention of Violet Blue within their archives. Once this is realized by members of said community, they struggle futilely to censor every attempt to discuss this event on the site. Once they realize this cannot be done, they invent a newspeak word to explain the retroactive erasure of history, "unpublishing".

This was the kind of satire so sublime it had to be real. And the cherry on top of this vomit sundae was the linked Metafilter thread, where one of the bloggers shows up on mefi and gets into a massive pooflinging contest with several prominent mefites, who just lost their minds. If you have an afternoon free sometime read it, it's hysterical.

But I have to agree, this article, blugh.
posted by Ndwright at 12:47 PM on December 27, 2009 [32 favorites]


Ode to Violet Blue and her ilk.

You're a waste of space
No natural grace
You're so bloody thin
You don't even begin

To intrest me
Not even curiousity
It's not animosity
It's just you don't interest me

You're an energy void
A black hole to avoid
No style, no heart
You don't even start

To intrest me
Not even curiousity
It's not animosity
It's just you don't interest me

posted by Burhanistan at 12:53 PM on December 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


what? xeni jardin isn't on the list? really?

Well she was number one with a bullet last time...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:03 PM on December 27, 2009


What, no Emily Cress?
posted by chronkite at 1:05 PM on December 27, 2009


I can't decide which is worse: The existence of the list itself, or the mostly incredibly unsexy people on the sexy list. So I'm going with number two and say if you're going to go out and make a list of sexy people, as fraught with peril as that is, you have to, you know, put actually sexy people on it.

Otherwise you just piss off the people who are going to be pissed off about these sorts of lists and I don't get a list of actually sexy people to check out.

D-, try again.
posted by Justinian at 1:07 PM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


Clearly, they should've gone the Time route and just said that the top sexy geek is YOU.
posted by box at 1:17 PM on December 27, 2009 [8 favorites]


A jawdropping feat of breadcraft!

If I wasn't oddly attached to my current awful username, I would register this for my new awful username immediately.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 1:17 PM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


I can't decide which is worse: The existence of the list itself, or the mostly incredibly unsexy people on the sexy list. So I'm going with number two and say if you're going to go out and make a list of sexy people, as fraught with peril as that is, you have to, you know, put actually sexy people on it.

Yeah ... I was struck by the unsexiness of them, to a one. Wow.
posted by jayder at 1:22 PM on December 27, 2009


So I'm going with number two and say if you're going to go out and make a list of sexy people, as fraught with peril as that is, you have to, you know, put actually sexy people on it.

"A woman going to the bathroom, you don't find it erotic?"
"No, not really."
"Well, then, what, pray tell, would you suggest we do put on our erotic cakes?"
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:22 PM on December 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


Clearly, they should've gone the Time route and just said that the top sexy geek is YOU.

Also known as "the Yakov Smirnoff gambit"
posted by PlusDistance at 1:26 PM on December 27, 2009


Thts nt vr nc
posted by Justinian at 1:27 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Huh, the comment I was referring to was deleted post-haste. Now I look like an idiot. Yay, me.
posted by Justinian at 1:28 PM on December 27, 2009


Jiz?

Really?

Really?!

Flagged.
posted by dhammond at 1:33 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think the main problem here was just which word provided the category, and which the ordering. Top 10 geekiest people to ever have sex would be a much more interesting post.
posted by Humanzee at 1:34 PM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Top ten people who work with computers but manage to vaguely resemble the rest of humanity.

Vaguely is about all.

Seriously: Let's see- I can tie a tie, but can't be bothered to tuck my shirt in....
posted by Doohickie at 1:38 PM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


What do you mean, dhammond? It's Jiz Lee!
posted by avocet at 1:45 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


People still give violet Blue any attention?
posted by schwa at 1:48 PM on December 27, 2009


(well, it is a stupid and useless list, beyond the single addition to my twitter feed that it provided)
posted by avocet at 1:48 PM on December 27, 2009


Violet Blue? Really? Best of the web?
posted by orthogonality at 1:49 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ndwright - That it came at the tail end of a petty significant quality drop off made it convenient as a jumping off point as well. Everybody* wins!

* Well, not any of the people directly involved, obviously.
posted by Artw at 1:51 PM on December 27, 2009


I found this while poking at the sexylist.
posted by Minus215Cee at 2:04 PM on December 27, 2009 [16 favorites]


Does not compute.
posted by Elmore at 2:07 PM on December 27, 2009


I have never met Greg Nog. I am suddenly hot for Greg Nog.
posted by SPrintF at 2:18 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Who the fuck are these people and why should I care?
posted by ericb at 2:22 PM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


I'm pretty sure that if I tried to duplicate Violet Blue's general internet modus operandi, I would be dubbed an incredible creepster-douche, but somehow because she's a tiny girl with blue hair, she's able to make a living at it. Tell me Metafilter, is this justice?
posted by Caduceus at 2:24 PM on December 27, 2009 [5 favorites]


That was a surprisingly unsexy list, regardless of geek or no-geek status. Except for one of the runners-up -- Dr Sanford.
posted by modernnomad at 2:26 PM on December 27, 2009


"Crystal Williams is the penultimate Hot Hacker Girl"

See, I assumed that the Ultimate Hot Hacker Girl would be like the fifth horseperson of the apocalypse.
posted by Phanx at 2:36 PM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


I see the problem. They did:
select top 10 * from geeks order by sexy
... when they should have written:
select top 10 * from geeks order by sexy desc
posted by FishBike at 2:39 PM on December 27, 2009 [22 favorites]


top ten self-promoters

To be fair, Tammer Saleh, one of the runners up, is a seriously good coder.
posted by honest knave at 2:45 PM on December 27, 2009


I think that several of these people are attractive, but have no idea what the fuck violet blue is yammering on about.
posted by desuetude at 3:00 PM on December 27, 2009


This was weird. Were the actually sexy people not geeky enough? Because some of these people didn't seem all that geeky. Is there a certain threshold of sexiness that once you cross you can no longer be considered a geek. No matter how much you love programing or science or whatever niche thing you throw yourself in to an alienating degree. Because that's the only way I can wrap my head around it. They aren't even the geekiest good looking people one works in PR. I know it's PR for tech companies but I know plenty of Pharma reps who are hot little sluts. This is the list that has the most wrong with it. It isn't like one of those lists of best video games where they put pacman as number one when it is clear that is a worse choice than tetris or mario 3 or super metroid and you can argue over it. It is a list that fails on both parts of it's core criteria for pretty much every entry. I've tried to make a worse list. It was going to be ten but it was too hard. So it's five.

Top five Yellow Foods
5. Saw Dust
4. Books
3. Running away from home.
2. General Hospital
1. Disappointment in your children
posted by I Foody at 3:16 PM on December 27, 2009 [53 favorites]


See, I assumed that the Ultimate Hot Hacker Girl would be like the fifth horseperson of the apocalypse.

She is.
posted by scalefree at 3:29 PM on December 27, 2009


Yes, weird. It was as if the actual top-ten list was already chosen, so here are some random self-promoterish friends of hers to make up a last minute list. Sure, some of them are cute, I guess, and they are geeks by at least some definitions of that word, but top ten in either sense? I don't think so.
posted by Forktine at 3:32 PM on December 27, 2009


I know plenty of Pharma reps who are hot little sluts.

what
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:37 PM on December 27, 2009 [7 favorites]


I Foody, are you drunk? I feel like that your comments are usually less incomprehensible.
posted by Caduceus at 3:38 PM on December 27, 2009


What bugs me about a list like this is, even if it was done well, it would still be bad.

I don't have any problem with appreciating people for their looks, in a general sense, but I think it becomes a problem when it happens in an inappropriate context. A list of sexiest people, drawn from some category that has nothing to do with looks, seems to include its own wrong context.
posted by FishBike at 3:44 PM on December 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


the fifth horseperson of the apocalypse.

Nah, That's Ronnie Soak.
posted by mikelieman at 3:49 PM on December 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


Only two of them were really sexy.

I wanted to click on under 18 just to see what "icanhazsexs" was, but I was afraid they'd log the IP address and I'd never be able to visit again. xD
posted by biochemist at 4:11 PM on December 27, 2009


Not to boast, but my wife should really be on that list. She's one of the sexiest geeks I know.

Also, I don't care what anyone says; Olivia Munn is smoking hot. I don't think she's even slightly a geek or a nerd, but man.... smoking hot.
posted by Bageena at 4:37 PM on December 27, 2009


Can we retire the word "geek" now? It means nothing. Just because you're interested in computers and the internet now in 2009 doesn't make you any different from anyone else. Yaaaawn.
posted by xmutex at 4:50 PM on December 27, 2009 [9 favorites]


I really hate to rip on someone's work, but it must be said: Violet Blue's output is vacuous, unsexy gibberish with a patina of tech shimmer (what the hell is "Open Source Sex" anyway? can you download a legal .ISO? is there peer review?) and I can't believe that she's still writing for the SF Chronicle.
posted by porn in the woods at 4:51 PM on December 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


I would just like to say... this has hands down been the funniest comments page I have ever read.
posted by OrangeSoda at 4:55 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


...I have been rereading this and laughing all day.
posted by OrangeSoda at 4:57 PM on December 27, 2009


My wife has an alternative list. It only has one geek on it.

it isn't me :(
posted by davejay at 5:09 PM on December 27, 2009


This is "geek" like having a tattoo is "bad-ass".

(has a tattoo)
posted by edgeways at 5:09 PM on December 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


Violet Blue? Really? Best of the web?

PepsiVioletBlue.
posted by davejay at 5:10 PM on December 27, 2009


Violet Blue

Yep, that's some seriously purple prose she's got going on there.
posted by Zinger at 5:13 PM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


I feel disappointed that this list exists because it makes me feel like a geek who is following all the wrong things. Clearly I don't read enough of Violet Blue's blog to ever read it, even for a momentary round-up post.

At the same time I am extraordinarily pleased that it has spawned this comment thread.
posted by clockbound at 5:35 PM on December 27, 2009


Well, this video is still awesome.
posted by lunit at 5:36 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Because ugly geeks don't matter.

Caduceus, you are free to make a list of "Top Ten Ugly Geeks of the Aughts". Go ahead.

I might even read it, if you write well.

What's your point, again?
posted by IAmBroom at 5:55 PM on December 27, 2009


Look at those fuckable hipsters.
posted by 0xdeadc0de at 6:18 PM on December 27, 2009 [5 favorites]


It seems to me that the term "geek" is thrown around a little carelessly these days. I mean, since when did presenting a show about technology make you a geek? We need a stricter definition people! Perhaps some sort of test to ensure fluency in at least one programming language, the ability to carry out an accurate titration, or do an Analysis of Variance using pencil and paper.
posted by jonesor at 6:27 PM on December 27, 2009


I don't care how lame the premise is, any list with Jiz Lee on it is a list I'll read. Daaaamn. She is so gorgeous. I had no idea she was a web developer.
posted by BabySeven at 6:30 PM on December 27, 2009


There are marketing people on that list. That's just wrong.
posted by octothorpe at 7:12 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


But if the last one is a mirror, and I'm the top sexy geek, doesn't that mean I risk Narcissus' predicament? With Flash's webcam support, and my recent discovery of combing my hair instead of letting it flop however it pleases, we're dangerously close to that scenario.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:34 PM on December 27, 2009


"A woman going to the bathroom, you don't find it erotic?"
"No, not really."
"Well, then, what, pray tell, would you suggest we do put on our erotic cakes?"


you know, every year around my birthday i ask my friends to go to baskin-robbins and get one of those photo cakes for me with a picture of 'tubgirl' on it (chocolate cake, rocky road ice cream). i ask all of my friends. i tell them the story of how i made sure that the folks at baskin-robbins would actually do it ('will you print a dirty picture on a cake?' "sure" 'how about a really dirty picture?' "yep" 'ok, how about a really really reeeeaally dirty picture?' "sure thing!" 'i mean mind-alteringly dirty...and there's poo' "um. ok.") (yes i had this conversation). and every year on my birthday i sit at the table, napkin tied around my neck, fork and knife at the ready in my clenched fists, waiting for someone to place my tubgirl cake in front of me, with one pink candle sticking out of the source of that geometrically perfect butterscotch fountain. and every year my friends let me down.

i know, in my heart of hearts, if i were dating that sirus boy (#4), he would bring me my tubgirl cake. and it would be delicious.
posted by sexyrobot at 8:38 PM on December 27, 2009 [19 favorites]


I think that a "top ten list of sexy people" in ANY category should be accompanied by at least 10 photos that are actually flattering. Unlike most of the photos in this list.

Also a tubgirl cake would be really gross. I think a goatse cake would be pretty funny though. But only if it was a bundt cake.
posted by caution live frogs at 9:03 PM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Are there any tech bloggers with names like Lisa Jones or Dave Smith? I suppose to be in the guild they'd have to be "leetsa" and "DayV".
posted by maxwelton at 9:03 PM on December 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Damn! You made me google tubgirl. Sorry I did that now.
posted by OrangeSoda at 9:05 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


UH YEAH WHY ISN'T MY GIRLFRIEND AND/OR BOYFRIEND ON THIS LIST HUH
posted by naju at 9:38 PM on December 27, 2009


Meanwhile, back at #1's ranch...
posted by lukemeister at 9:57 PM on December 27, 2009


Kate Beaton.

'nuff said.
posted by Eideteker at 9:59 PM on December 27, 2009


How funny it would be if all the people ITT talking about how the "10 sexy geeks" aren't sexy, unflattering photos, how they know the really sexy geeks, etc; had to post their own pics or else have their MeFi account banned?
posted by hamida2242 at 10:10 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


#3 on the list, Amanda Coolong is in PR? Seriously?

At some point these people stop being "nerds" and start being "attractive people who live in the bay area"

I'm kind of annoyed by the degeneration of the word "nerd" It used to, at the vary least, mean someone who was truly obsessed with technology/computers/etc Or some kind of cultural thing (star wars, D&D, Anime). And usually these people didn't "fit in". But since nerds became cool, all the people who would ordinarily be cool started adopting nerdy affectations.

But does that really make them nerds? I say no.
posted by delmoi at 10:37 PM on December 27, 2009 [8 favorites]


i know, in my heart of hearts, if i were dating that sirus boy (#4),

If you were dating him, you'd be awaiting your imminent demise at my hands, because he is mine goddammit.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:40 PM on December 27, 2009


But does that really make them nerds? I say no.

Aw, come on. They know how to start Wordpress blogs AND sync their iTunes. They're like techno Über-geeks that shape our very conception of the new virtual reality.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:41 PM on December 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Yes, yes. You want to bone the guy on the website. Thanks for sharing.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:42 PM on December 27, 2009


Yeah, Eideteker, she would be number one on my top ten list, too.
posted by Caduceus at 11:24 PM on December 27, 2009


These people are not geeks. Nor are they sexy. Mostly.
posted by sharpener at 12:17 AM on December 28, 2009


"I'm kind of annoyed by the degeneration of the word "nerd" "

I want you to come around here and look at what you just said from this angle.
posted by Gamien Boffenburg at 1:20 AM on December 28, 2009


"But since nerds became cool..."

That didn't happen.
posted by Gamien Boffenburg at 1:24 AM on December 28, 2009


How funny it would be if all the people ITT talking about how the "10 sexy geeks" aren't sexy, unflattering photos, how they know the really sexy geeks, etc; had to post their own pics or else have their MeFi account banned?

If I understand this idea correctly, a person has to be sexy or attractive in order to judge whether other people are sexy or attractive?
posted by maxwelton at 2:02 AM on December 28, 2009


A jawdropping feat of breadcraft!
cue insanewhiches reference
posted by motdiem2 at 2:20 AM on December 28, 2009


If I understand this idea correctly, a person has to be sexy or attractive in order to judge whether other people are sexy or attractive?

Exactly. Just like how you have to be a top 100 Pitchfork album of the noughties to have a perspective on the top 100 Pitchfork albums of the noughties.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:27 AM on December 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: Who the fuck are these people and why should I care?
posted by tzikeh at 4:32 AM on December 28, 2009


Well, of course you have to be a top 100 Pitchfork album. Why the hell else would all those people have taken pictures of themselves holding records in front of their faces?
posted by box at 5:56 AM on December 28, 2009


@ratio: I'll take ten of those, please.

Also: who the aitch-eee-double-hockey-sticks is Violet Blue, and why does her opinion matter more than anyone else's?
posted by magstheaxe at 7:06 AM on December 28, 2009


How funny it would be if all the people ITT talking about how the "10 sexy geeks" aren't sexy, unflattering photos, how they know the really sexy geeks, etc; had to post their own pics or else have their MeFi account banned?

Uh, okay. I'm pretty fucking sexy. Are you?
posted by desuetude at 7:13 AM on December 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


I'm sexier than everyone here, but it's all for Mrs. Burhanistan.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:20 AM on December 28, 2009


There are marketing people on that list. That's just wrong.

Sure, yeah, you geeky types might better understand some of the technical points better, but you never get the big picture. Who else is going to grasp the real business and social implications of the technology and really get the message out there -- really use the idea to unlock value, you know?

Certainly not someone who's always twittering about SQL queries or proofs using graph theory.
posted by namespan at 7:37 AM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


That didn't happen.

Yes, it did, but I didn't get my degree, so ...

Now I'm trying to figure out how to be a nerd again.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:42 AM on December 28, 2009


Also: who the aitch-eee-double-hockey-sticks is Violet Blue, and why does her opinion matter more than anyone else's?

Well, she has open sourced sex. That's pretty revolutionary, you know -- she had the braininess to take a page from the nerds and use it to free sex from big business.
posted by namespan at 8:04 AM on December 28, 2009


The trouble with open source sex is that it's forking all the time.
posted by lukemeister at 8:17 AM on December 28, 2009 [7 favorites]


I clicked on the link. I saw Violet Blue... and I closed the page.

Never been a fan, but am begrudgingly impressed that she has managed to make a career with what can be described generously as clearly limited talent with a side of psycho.
posted by gnash at 8:42 AM on December 28, 2009


Never been a fan, but am begrudgingly impressed that she has managed to make a career with what can be described generously as clearly limited talent with a side of psycho.

How much could she actually clear doing what she does? $200 for a column here, $75 for click ads there...Could it really amount to more than $40k or so a year?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:45 AM on December 28, 2009


People probably send her free stuff and passes to events and that kind of stuff, too.
posted by box at 8:56 AM on December 28, 2009


I'll take a nice house over ill-gotten celebrity any day of the week, though.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:59 AM on December 28, 2009


Also: who the aitch-eee-double-hockey-sticks is Violet Blue, and why does her opinion matter more than anyone else's?

she's nobody! NOBODY!
posted by Artw at 9:01 AM on December 28, 2009


Thank you for today's five minutes hate.
posted by mrdaneri at 9:02 AM on December 28, 2009


me, giggling loudly in a corner of the living room.
kids playing MULE in a computer near-by.


thing 1: i can hear her giggling again
thing 2: how much you wanna bet she's reading Metafilter
thing 1: MOOooOoooOOooooooOoom! are you reading Metafilter?

me: yes
(now laughing uncontrollably whilst reckoning about radiant hottitude.)

thing 2: told you so.
thing 1: i guess Metafilter is that funny.
posted by liza at 9:19 AM on December 28, 2009 [5 favorites]


Also: who the aitch-eee-double-hockey-sticks is Violet Blue, and why does her opinion matter more than anyone else's?

she's nobody! NOBODY!


Actually, I'm pretty sure she's people.
posted by Caduceus at 10:13 AM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


She's unpeople!
posted by Artw at 10:15 AM on December 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


She's soylent green, is what I'm saying.
posted by Caduceus at 10:18 AM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Or rather, soylent blue.
posted by Caduceus at 10:19 AM on December 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Who Violet Blue is, is an egregious suck-up, and I don't mean that in the nudge-nudge way. That's how she originally got into Boing Boing; she sucked up to Xeni Jardin (and says that the two of them were lovers at some point), and after their falling-out, she milked that for all it was worth, which turned out to be quite a lot. The last thing that I read of hers, on SFGate, had to do with where people coming to SF for Pride could find sex toys, as if they couldn't find them on their own or bring their own, but you can bet that the owners of those shops were happy for the linkage.

A lot of her SFGate columns are of that "top 10" or "best of" pimpage variety; in fact, in a recent one about the best erotica of 2009, she coyly mentions at the end that she can't include the ones that she edits, but hey, just in case you wanted to check them out, here are the Amazon links--she even includes the Amazon UK links. Nice work if you can get it, I guess.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:35 AM on December 28, 2009


I'm sexier than everyone here, but it's all for Mrs. Burhanistan.

yes, yes...you put your pee-pee in the jay-jay. thanks for sharing.

I think a goatse cake would be pretty funny though. But only if it was a bundt cake.

i just got a bundt cupcake pan for exactly that purpose. it makes a dozen.
posted by sexyrobot at 10:36 AM on December 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Or rather, soylent blue.

De-wonderize your tastebuds with soylent blue!
posted by Artw at 11:10 AM on December 28, 2009


Who Violet Blue is, is an egregious suck-up

It should be noted that in this she is no different to any number of other internet celebrities, Xeni Jardin very much included.
posted by Artw at 11:21 AM on December 28, 2009


Who Violet Blue is, is an egregious suck-up

Yes, well, welcome to being a writer in the post-getting-paid-for-writing writing age.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:45 AM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well, there's also people with fake-obnoxious personalities (who still pimp a bunch of others peoples stuff like crazy).
posted by Artw at 11:51 AM on December 28, 2009


/Starts working on a chart explaining what I don't like about the interaction between the internet and comics, with a large blob marked "Warren Ellis" at the center of it and lots of lines radiating out to blobs with their own radiating lines.
posted by Artw at 11:53 AM on December 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


yes, yes...you put your pee-pee in the jay-jay. thanks for sharing.

Huh? That's an overwhelmingly assholish response, especially considered all the "I'd hit that" commentary here (which is usually frowned upon but I suppose because it's teh gay! and that means it's ok). I was making a joke. What's it to you?
posted by Burhanistan at 12:14 PM on December 28, 2009


Soylet Blue is self-aggrandising people!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:35 PM on December 28, 2009


People probably send her free stuff and passes to events and that kind of stuff, too.

Isn't that the very definition & objective of today's plasticky celebrity? Being invited by PR flacks to promotional events, in the hope that you'll somehow help generate more PR for whatever crap they're trying to sell?
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:43 PM on December 28, 2009


I don't get it. You made a joke and he made a similar joke about you, using your own wording... And now it's not funny and you take offence? Hmmm, seems you can give it but you can't take it. I didn't read that comment as assholish at all.
posted by Jubey at 12:54 PM on December 28, 2009


I wasn't going around saying I'd hit that though, I was responding to this comment. I suppose I was oversensitive because he was referencing my genitalia, so to hell with him.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:59 PM on December 28, 2009


And now it's all Metafilter: We'd hit each other (with chairs)...
posted by Artw at 1:04 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


That's a new kind of kink I've never heard of.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:29 PM on December 28, 2009


That's a new kind of kink I've never heard of.

It's even kinkier if you have a mustache.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:36 PM on December 28, 2009


MetaFilter: Oversensitive Because He Was Referencing My Genitalia
posted by moss at 3:20 PM on December 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


I don't get it. You made a joke and he made a similar joke about you, using your own wording... And now it's not funny and you take offence? Hmmm, seems you can give it but you can't take it. I didn't read that comment as assholish at all.

I don't think you're keeping up. (Not keeping up is not sexy, btw.)
posted by desuetude at 3:30 PM on December 28, 2009


Ah, I've finally figured it out! The reason why I've started looking askance at anyone that describes themselves as "geek"!

They're conflating "geek" with "hipster". It's like Make magazine - sure, there are some interesting articles about making your own wind turbine, but the vast majority are how to hack your tune-bent toy synthesizer, and then bring it to a party where everyone wears thick beards and wayfarers.
posted by backseatpilot at 3:53 PM on December 28, 2009


Oh, I see now: the standard chair-on-the-talk-show-with-a-bunch-of-skinheads fantasy.

The only reason I didn't recognise it straight away is that it's so vanilla, that I wouldn't normally count it as a fetish.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:01 PM on December 28, 2009




In all honesty, I don't think someone really counts as a geek unless they bite the heads off of live chickens.
posted by kyrademon at 5:07 PM on December 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


I was always taught that a nerd was a socially-awkward academic type, usually with an aptitude for science and math; a geek was someone with an extremely keen interest in one narrow subject matter; a dork was someone with great social clumsiness; and a dweeb was a dork only with a more freakish aspect. I wish I could cite here, but I honestly don't know where I picked this up.

With that said, this list reminds me that there is yet another pyramid island floating in the internet sea - there are a few people at the top who are loved or despised by many at the bottom. I don't know who any of the phaorohs are, and probably won't encounter them again, but any "Top Ten Sexiest ______" lists kinda creep me out, to be honest. There's just this skeezy cattle auction quality to them that I don't find entertaining.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:19 PM on December 28, 2009


As long as ijustine didn't win I'm happy, though she still could win the MOST ANNOYING ATTENTION WHORE in the world award.

Which is nice.


How that comment got made on Metafilter without it being about Cory Doctorow, I'll never know.
posted by Amanojaku at 6:35 PM on December 28, 2009 [6 favorites]


skeezy cattle auction quality


THIS IS A SAUCY SLUTTY LITTLE MOO COW WITH EXTRA EYES FOR THE HAY IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
posted by The Whelk at 6:54 PM on December 28, 2009 [5 favorites]


I was good friend in schools with Amanda Coolong. She is a sweetheart and lovely lady. The time she answered her door in that black dress...

I digress. Good for her!
posted by davros42 at 8:41 PM on December 28, 2009


How that comment got made on Metafilter without it being about Cory Doctorow, I'll never know.

OK, I can fix that.

As long as Cory Doctorow didn't win I'm happy, though he could still win the MOST ANNOYING ATTENTION WHORE IN THE WORLD award.

He's such an attention whore that if that award was real and he did win it, he would blog about it on Boing Boing, always in the third person, without cease:

Transcript of Cory's Acceptance Speech at MOAW Awards Translated Into Cherokee; Soon To Become a Novel

posted by Ratio at 10:07 PM on December 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


I'd just like to register that I think Paul Carr is an enormous fud.

Thanks!
posted by mippy at 5:08 AM on December 29, 2009


The trouble with open source sex is that it's forking all the time.

This forking, it's like spooning?
posted by Zinger at 6:44 AM on December 29, 2009 [1 favorite]


Where's Rachel Maddow?
posted by alona at 9:48 AM on December 29, 2009 [2 favorites]


This forking, it's like spooning?

The forking and spooning are more fun than the knifing, let me tell you.
posted by lukemeister at 1:23 PM on December 29, 2009


This list confuses me immensely. As far as I can tell, both the 'sexy' and 'geek' thresholds are set all wrong.
posted by enkiwa at 2:08 PM on December 29, 2009


In other news: the wind is blowing.
posted by godisdad at 8:11 PM on December 29, 2009


Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?







Oh.
posted by grubi at 7:32 PM on January 4, 2010


Wireds top 20 sexiest geeks poll - largely voterigged nongeeks.
posted by Artw at 10:58 PM on January 6, 2010


Huh. I missed this thread the first time around.

I went to school with/near (it's a weird school setup) crystal. She IM'd me right after this came out assuming her geekiness would quickly be debunked. I'm pretty sure she would not call herself a hacker (at least, she never has around me).
posted by flaterik at 2:48 PM on January 7, 2010


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