"Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them."

January 1, 2010 1:07 PM

Darth Vader and an entourage of Storm Troopers rang the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange on December 22nd.

Business Insider: This is pretty much the perfect metaphor for 2009: Darth Vader ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange surrounded by a goon squad of Storm Troopers.

NY Times: This seems unlikely to help Wall Street with its public relations problems.

posted by zarq (42 comments total)

*golf clap*
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:09 PM on January 1, 2010

There is something to be said for removing pretense.
posted by The Whelk at 1:09 PM on January 1, 2010 [14 favorites]

I've always wondered why they clap when they ring the opening bell. Such a bizarre ceremony.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:09 PM on January 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

It's to keep the pixies that run the economy alive, duh.
posted by The Whelk at 1:11 PM on January 1, 2010 [13 favorites]

"You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I'm here to put you back on schedule."
posted by Blasdelb at 1:12 PM on January 1, 2010 [18 favorites]

Their irony department needs an internal review.
posted by ZaneJ. at 1:13 PM on January 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:15 PM on January 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

Tomorrow, the NYSE will officially adopt "All about the Benjamins" as its official theme song.

"Tone deaf to the atmospherics" doesn't even begin to cover it.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 1:16 PM on January 1, 2010 [4 favorites]

BANKERS STRIKE BACK
posted by The Whelk at 1:18 PM on January 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

I assume Boris Badenov was unavailable.
posted by jonmc at 1:18 PM on January 1, 2010

Treasury Secretary Scrooge McDuck could not be reached for comment.
posted by gompa at 1:28 PM on January 1, 2010 [6 favorites]

Would be cooler if Chewbacca did it.

Oh wait, he's dead, THANKS A LOT WALL STREET
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:31 PM on January 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

These aren't the corporate droids you're looking for.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:32 PM on January 1, 2010 [6 favorites]

too bad the shark wasn't in the frame. vader looks good jumping.
posted by krautland at 1:32 PM on January 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

What is thy bid, my master?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:34 PM on January 1, 2010 [21 favorites]

Theme music for the next decade.
posted by delmoi at 1:34 PM on January 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

Well, scoff if you will. I find your lack of faith disturbing.
posted by njbradburn at 1:43 PM on January 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh, I so wish someone would add in some CGI lasers and sound effects for the guns. Some of the guns just happen to be pointing downward towards the crowd. It would make it look so much more real.
posted by P.o.B. at 1:44 PM on January 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Whack-A-Banker" Game a Hit in Britain.
posted by ericb at 1:46 PM on January 1, 2010

ericb: ""Whack-A-Banker" Game a Hit in Britain."

Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.
posted by Blasdelb at 1:49 PM on January 1, 2010

Those are clone troopers, not proper storm troopers.

Worst. NYSE Opening. EVER.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:55 PM on January 1, 2010 [6 favorites]

Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy an economy is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
posted by Blasdelb at 2:00 PM on January 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy an economy is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Let's hope.
posted by _paegan_ at 2:10 PM on January 1, 2010

You will be one with the Borg.

Oh, wait, wrong franchise
posted by DreamerFi at 2:11 PM on January 1, 2010

I never thought Vader could be the least evil person in the room.
posted by flatluigi at 2:11 PM on January 1, 2010 [11 favorites]

I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:12 PM on January 1, 2010 [11 favorites]

I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!

Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends.
posted by Blasdelb at 2:20 PM on January 1, 2010

I felt a great disturbance in the economy, as if millions of subprime mortgages suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.... oh wait that was '07.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:25 PM on January 1, 2010 [7 favorites]

It's Mega Bernake. He's gone from suck to blow.
posted by infinitefloatingbrains at 2:29 PM on January 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

The New York Stock Exchange. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
posted by eddydamascene at 2:29 PM on January 1, 2010 [8 favorites]

It's Mega Bernake. He's gone from suck to blow.

I'm pretty sure Wall St. never gets off blow.
posted by The Whelk at 2:34 PM on January 1, 2010 [7 favorites]

I'm all for it as long as they assure me they will build a "Death Star" that I can live on.
(until I rebel and steal one of their tie fighters or escape pods and get to go live with the Ewoks.)
posted by Balisong at 3:41 PM on January 1, 2010

Afterward, he treated everybody to a harmonica solo.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:46 PM on January 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

Blazecock Pileon:I've always wondered why they clap when they ring the opening bell. Such a bizarre ceremony.

Thanks to TV magic, that balcony where they do the bell is less than ten feet off the ground appears to be a million feet in the air. You can practically reach up and touch them.
posted by dr_dank at 4:33 PM on January 1, 2010

There will be no one to stop this time.
posted by kirkaracha at 5:22 PM on January 1, 2010

I've always wondered why they clap when they ring the opening bell. Such a bizarre ceremony.

Anyone who doesn't clap gets Vader's patented Force Choke.
posted by Mael Oui at 7:49 PM on January 1, 2010

I want them alive. No reorganisations.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:20 PM on January 1, 2010

Those are clone troopers, not proper storm troopers.

Worst. NYSE Opening. EVER.


Gah! Clearly, the trooper designs and his stature being more in line with Hayden Christiansen than David Prowse CLEARLY place him in continuity, between Episodes III and IV.
posted by mkultra at 8:25 PM on January 1, 2010

That's as maybe, it's still a frogclone trooper.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:39 PM on January 1, 2010

Even though I knew it was just a little Lucasfilm promo, I couldn't stop myself from expecting him to do a little force choke on one of the stock brokers he was up there on the podium with. Just seemed necessary, somehow.
posted by steviehero at 8:51 PM on January 1, 2010

This got posted on a site where I work, and one of the comments was, "When do they open fire?"

Try watching it with that in mind, and it is extra hilarious/awful. (And yeah, I showed it to my four-year-old and he complains because Clone Troopers don't go with Darth Vader, etc., and I was just about to remind him about the clones massacring all the jedi, and then I remembered he's not going to see that dvd until he's 20. Adults may vaguely remember that as the "least awful of the prequels," but it's also got the slaughter of pre-schooler jedis.)
posted by kenlayne at 10:15 PM on January 1, 2010

If I look at where the toy budget for my 5-year-old son has gone for the past 2 years, this kinda makes sense... more so if you add in the CEO of the LEGO Group.
posted by girlhacker at 10:26 PM on January 1, 2010