This may be the "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" of political ads

February 3, 2010 6:11 PM

Carly Fiorina, perhaps best known as the former CEO of Hewlett-Packard, is attempting to become the Republican candidate for Barbara Boxer's long-time Senate seat. But her nomination isn't sewed up yet; her potential GOP challenger is former Congressman and Stanford Law professor Tom Campbell. So earlier today, Fiorina's campaign released this political attack ad against Campbell. It features her newly-minted acronym "FCINO", it's about six times longer than most political ads, it makes copious use of stock photography, and it stars demon sheep with red glowing eyes. Wait, what?
posted by Asparagirl (155 comments total)

BBBBAAAAAA
posted by R. Mutt at 6:14 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

If you've got a demon sheep that you want to eat, you will need to kill it.
posted by Flunkie at 6:15 PM on February 3, 2010 [6 favorites]

Wait, if Campbell is pro-demon sheep, I don't know who to vote for.

Oh wait, I don't live in California and I'm not a republican. Nevermind.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:17 PM on February 3, 2010

Good thing for Carly there are no big mistakes in her background people can talk about... what's this "HP" you speak of?
posted by wildcrdj at 6:18 PM on February 3, 2010 [14 favorites]

Tea Party Members = Demon Sheep?
posted by R. Mutt at 6:18 PM on February 3, 2010

If ol' FCINO Campbell is "a wolf in sheep's clothing," that makes Fiorina the sheep? Perfect.
posted by sallybrown at 6:19 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I watched this earlier and I am NOT over it.
posted by unSane at 6:20 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

"Who would remember that budget?" CUT to: SHOT of WHITE PEOPLE. "We would"

It's like they were all, "I know California has loads of minorities ... but who are we kidding, they're not voting in the Republican primary anyway."

(Full disclosure: I have a distaste for Carly Fiona because they foisted her on us as a graduation speaker with Bill Clinton sitting RIGHT THERE in the audience.)
posted by Comrade_robot at 6:21 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I liked the part with the doomed sheep on the rising phallic symbol the best. Needs more wetsuit, though.
posted by maudlin at 6:21 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

In other CA statewide republican primary news Meg Whitman threatened to 'destroy' her primary opponent. At least that's how he's spinning it. She actually wrote:

"I hate the idea of us each spending $20 million beating on the other in the primary, only to have a damaged nominee," the email reads. "And we can spend $40M+ tearing up Steve if we must; bad for him, bad for us and a crazy waste to tear up a guy with statewide potential -- really the only guy on the CA GOP bench for the future."

The opponent claims she "crossed an ethical line" while her spokesman says he may "literally have gone crazy".
posted by delmoi at 6:22 PM on February 3, 2010

I take it back! I take it back! The red-eyed sheep in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre mask RULES.
posted by maudlin at 6:23 PM on February 3, 2010

I find it hard to believe that a serious political candidate put out that ad. It looks like it should be on funnyordie.com or collegehumor.
posted by nooneyouknow at 6:23 PM on February 3, 2010 [8 favorites]

This is what passes for intelligent discourse in the GOP world. Kind of depressing. Still, it reminded me of Gargoyles, so that cheers me up a bit.
posted by Garak at 6:23 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Women will never have full political equality until there are 50 corrupt female Senators as well.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:24 PM on February 3, 2010 [8 favorites]

Also, love the "PURITY, PIETY, our fiscal conservative leaders, men [Men and women, Carly? I guess not] we aspire to be" narration over shots of sheep frolicking.
posted by sallybrown at 6:25 PM on February 3, 2010 [4 favorites]

Demon sheep ate my balls.
posted by slogger at 6:25 PM on February 3, 2010 [5 favorites]

Can't wait for "fiscal conservative"s to be outed as the spendthrift, non-forward-thinking, selfish pricks they are.
posted by DU at 6:26 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

I'm not sure where you're hiding the batshitinsane tag on the list there.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:26 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

I want to know what actor played the demon sheep in this ad, the poor dumb schmuck who was hired to crawl around in a pasture for this. He has a story to tell.
posted by Asparagirl at 6:27 PM on February 3, 2010 [16 favorites]

"A tax on the Intahnet!"

What the hell kind of accent is that supposed to be?
posted by enn at 6:27 PM on February 3, 2010 [4 favorites]

FCINO? Fiorina Carly In Name Only? Why would she accuse someone else of that?
posted by NoMich at 6:27 PM on February 3, 2010 [5 favorites]

A small oversight, Pope Guilty, now corrected, thanks.
posted by Asparagirl at 6:28 PM on February 3, 2010

Demon Sheep for Senate!
posted by pcameron at 6:28 PM on February 3, 2010

As it happens, my Laserjet 1020 has started smearing stuff lately too.

I suggest taking out her toner cartridge and giving it a few stiff smacks against the table.
posted by Artw at 6:29 PM on February 3, 2010 [16 favorites]

I say it again: Carly Fiorina is HP's crazy ex-girlfriend.
posted by SPrintF at 6:30 PM on February 3, 2010 [27 favorites]

Demon Sheep for Senate!

That's the most metal thing I've heard since the Behemoth show a few weeks ago.
posted by NoMich at 6:32 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Demon Sheep? WE GOT THAT B-ROLL
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:32 PM on February 3, 2010 [42 favorites]

I approve of this message.
posted by Consonants Without Vowels at 6:33 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

Here's me, watching the ad: "yeah yeah yeah, typical mud flinging, mud flinging, yeah, yeah, mud, yeah, WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK?!? WHAT?!?!?!?"

Wow, she just out-did Mike Gravel for the craziest f'n political ad I've ever seen.
posted by mark242 at 6:33 PM on February 3, 2010 [6 favorites]

Meanwhile...

Republican gubernatorial hopeful Meg Whitman is severing ties with an elected official who described himself as a "proud racist."

Those Republicans... They're something else, aren't they?
posted by Joe Beese at 6:34 PM on February 3, 2010

Oh, God. She's not just appealing to Tea Baggers, she's trying to get the Furry vote. I mean, that view of some poor intern in the sad sheepskin suit, crawling away on his hands and knees in the wet meadow? Priceless.

I need some Chuck Jones now, please.

Sheep Ahoy.
Double or Mutton.
Ready, Woolen and Able.
A Sheep In The Deep.
Steal Wool.
Don't Give Up the Sheep.
posted by maudlin at 6:35 PM on February 3, 2010 [10 favorites]

So many things about this.... THIS is off the walls.

-that trailer guy voice is TOTALLY ripping off Mr. Freemans' accent... (I think from Bruce Almighty... not sure. Don't want to go deeper... that was ridiculous, and by ridiculous I mean Amazing, and by amazing I mean, whats the deal with politicians putting animals in all their ads... like so and so would have people marrying ducks, or so and so loves Pigs, or such and such loves sheep...
I am upset... Previously... I loved that accent... but it was saying things which were just dumb in that 'ad'... SAVE THE AWESOME ACCENT FOR WARNING ABOUT THE IMPENDING ASTEROID DOOM.. (er, actually, or the supervolcanoes...)
posted by infinite intimation at 6:38 PM on February 3, 2010

Koooooooook! Get new consultants, lady! It sounds like the narrator has a personal grudge against the guy. "No, listen Jeff, we just want to read the lines like we went over them. Try not to... well maybe just back off a bit on the tone, OK? What's that? You did some community theater? No I wasn't aware of that. They didn't mention it. Ah, well if you just want to... uh huh... mm hm. Yeah. Yes, I see. Well we're not paying the agency for you to 'make it your own' OK? Just read the lines. Demon Sheep, take 6, and... action."
posted by Askr at 6:38 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

Ok, enough with the bullshit. That wasn't a political ad, right? It was a scene from the Wicker Man remake. Right?

Right?
posted by brundlefly at 6:38 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

To contribute $10 to the Tom Campbell campaign just text yog sothoth to 666.
posted by Babblesort at 6:38 PM on February 3, 2010 [6 favorites]

she's trying to get the Furry vote

Thanks. You owe me a new monitor and keyboard due to sudden contact with projectiled beer.
posted by hippybear at 6:43 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

The dude crawling around in a sheep mask with red glowing eyes was pretty weird. Did anyone else notice he was wearing loafers?

But other people have already brought that up. But did anyone else notice the faceless executives at the end, symbolizing Fiorina was pretty weird too. Was the 'through the window' shots supposed to represent the HP corporate spying case or something?

I was expecting to see Fiorina's face at some point, but no. Why would you portray yourself that way?
posted by delmoi at 6:44 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

According to plugged-in GOP'er Patrick Ruffini, Tom Campbell just e-mailed the link to the attack ad to his own supporters and donors -- subject line: "Meltdown". Heh.
posted by Asparagirl at 6:44 PM on February 3, 2010 [11 favorites]

and whats the deal with switching up the narrator... 20 seconds in?
Were they just not that into the first narrator?

Jane... your out... not scary enough... (we're photoshoppin' some DEMON sheep into this... we need deeper, more scary talk... you just cant do that Jane...)
20 seconds later after tearing out and eating the offal from one of the sheep being used on set, Jane begins to slowly spin her head around, while doing a wicked awesome (See; ridiculous and terrible) impression of Mr. Freeman, from Bruce almighty...
posted by infinite intimation at 6:44 PM on February 3, 2010

Would it have been that hard for them to ask the dude narrating to dry his lips before recording?
posted by rbf1138 at 6:46 PM on February 3, 2010

Yeah, weihd accent on that guy.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:49 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Wow. This is utterly insane, and unlike anything I've ever seen from a political campaign.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 6:50 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

infinite intimation: "that trailer guy voice is TOTALLY ripping off Mr. Freemans' accent"

I would describe it as the Michael Savage accent.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:50 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm with maudlin: she's totally going to get the furry vote with this ad.
posted by mosk at 6:52 PM on February 3, 2010

Ladies and gentleman, the brain trust behind Super Sad Intern Sheep Death Ad. Figures.

Also:

Jimmy James: The original title of this book was 'Jimmy James, Capitalist Lion Tamer' but I see now that it's... 'Jimmy James, Macho Business Donkey Wrestler'... you know what it is... I had the book translated in to Japanese then back in again into English. Macho Business Donkey Wrestler... well there you go... it's got kind of a ring to it don't it? Anyway, I wanted to read from chapter three... which is the story of my first rise to financial prominence... I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street... many days no business come to my hut... my hut... but Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no. I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo... dung. ...Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans... and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey."

Question: "Mr. James, what did you mean when you wrote bad clown making like super American car racers, I would make them sweat, War War?"
Jimmy James: "Well, you know... it's LIKE when a clown is making like a car... racer... it's sorta... like... the FCC. The CLOWN... the clown is like the FCC... and I was opposed to the FCC at the time, right? So it was like I was declaring War. WARRRR!"

Question: "So then did the American yum yum clown monkey also represent the FCC?"
Jimmy James: "Yeah, it did. Thanks a LOT!"

Question: "What did you mean when you said, "Feel my skills, donkey donkey donkey, donkey donkey?"
Jimmy James: *Sigh*

posted by maudlin at 6:54 PM on February 3, 2010 [7 favorites]

no mahteh weht pehhteehhhcuhluh pehsehshun euh weuhhr reuhnning feur theeat weahk
2:14
that person in the furry suit was wearing shoes... is this real life?

@joe beese... wow, I had to look him up... I regret it. whyyy did you make me do that.
I hadyoutube open in a window, so copypasted the name... and all the hits were TITLED offensively (and does he like team up with Glenn Beck or something?)... I click one, and within 10 seconds... it was disgusting... whats his problem?
posted by infinite intimation at 6:56 PM on February 3, 2010

delmoi: "... did anyone else notice the faceless executives at the end, symbolizing Fiorina was pretty weird too. ... I was expecting to see Fiorina's face at some point, but no."

You remember that Twilight Zone where there's a woman with her whole head wrapped in bandages after radical plastic surgery to correct her hideous deformity and at the end they take the bandages off and she's beautiful but everyone else in the room pulls back in dismay at her still being hideous and then you see them for the first time and they're all pig-faced monsters? Because, like, beauty is relative?

That's what her face not being shown reminded me of. On some level I was starting to panic, "Oh my God, what's wrong with her face... ??"
posted by Joe Beese at 6:56 PM on February 3, 2010 [9 favorites]

Asparagirl: "According to plugged-in GOP'er Patrick Ruffini, "

haha, his icon is the red-eyed sheep. Seriously, sort your tent out, you republicans :|
posted by boo_radley at 6:57 PM on February 3, 2010

also can't you get a FCINO at starbucks?
posted by boo_radley at 6:59 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

discomfit [dɪsˈkʌmfɪt]
vb (tr)
1. to make uneasy, confused, or embarrassed

I think this video should be the new definition. See: WTF?
posted by letitrain at 6:59 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm not ready to live in a world where furrys are a large enough group to be worth courting for votes.
posted by maxwelton at 7:00 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

Wealthy people like Carly Fiorino should pay a much higher income tax rate than they do now. Ever notice that we so frequently didn't have these kind of financial meltdowns, asset bubbles, and crazy CEO salaries and ridiculous bonuses when the tax rates were higher? Low tax rates breed bigger deficits, unbridled greed, and speculative bubbles. How the hell can anyone legitimately earn $25 million compensation in a year just for doing a job?
posted by Daddy-O at 7:00 PM on February 3, 2010 [6 favorites]

Ok at one point in the video they kept cutting back to the same still shot of Campbell looking kinda concerned and stymied. It struck me that it was very reminiscent of a classic Bill Clinton look. Here's a little comparison I stuck on my flickr photostream.

I'd say it was a deliberate thing because I'm suspicious that way but it seems like that would be giving the creators of that thing way too much credit. Subtle innuendo and subliminal linking don't really seem to be the direction they're going with that ad.
posted by Babblesort at 7:05 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, if this video is factual... it seems to suggest by the images shown (stockphoto?) that Real Sheep are scared off (like they started RUNNING)when the fake sheep turned up, slithering (what?) looks like real sheep know when a sheeps is not a sheep, so if ever there is a wolf furry wearing a sheeps' furry costume... it is ok, because the sheep sheep will know (I'm guessing it's the shoes. Real sheep don't wear shoes.)


lastly, I guess, I would never have thought twice about a sentence like this... "According to plugged-in GOP'er Patrick Ruffini, "... but now... we have a right to know; just what IS he plugged into?
posted by infinite intimation at 7:05 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

This ad is a fractal, but made of confusion instead of math. As a whole, it's confused, but every component is as confused as the whole. So, the leaders, are pure, pious sheep? Except for Tom Campbell, whose government service has put him on an ivory tower or pedestal that's actually a column? Which gets struck by lightning, leaving but one way to fall? Is there another way to fall except down? And they'll fall back down to where all the sheep-men who are the real heroes are?
posted by theclaw at 7:05 PM on February 3, 2010 [15 favorites]

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!!
posted by TedW at 7:07 PM on February 3, 2010 [14 favorites]

This will never work.

The ad is longer than the attention spans of the people she's trying to reach.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 7:11 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

The sheep are not what they seem
posted by kcds at 7:11 PM on February 3, 2010

What the hell was that? They're not really going to run that on television.

Right?
posted by stoneweaver at 7:12 PM on February 3, 2010

This ad kidnapped my mind at gunpoint, shoved it in a car, and drove straight to What The Fuck City at 90 miles an hour.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:12 PM on February 3, 2010 [24 favorites]

"Leaving but one way to fall"

What the fuck.

Although, if anyone could find a new way to fall, it'd be Carly.
posted by boo_radley at 7:13 PM on February 3, 2010 [4 favorites]

Sorry, last thought... yeah, that is the "I am concerned and also thinking deeply about important things so I am eating my own upper lip with my lower lip" image... almost all politicians have one {Maybe only ones who have had 'sexscandals' (someone with more googlefu points should search for the Daily show 'skit thing' that aired right about the time of the fallout around Mr. Spitzer in NY... Stewart had one pic the first day it broke, Mr. Spitzer was baaarely nibbling his lip... the next day, more, the next day more... and then there was shopped(the ugly use of shopping in this ad was grr worthy.) image, and Mr. Stewart was like, this is the projection for one week from now... it was basically the lower lip engulfing his entire head.) sad, but sort of funny, but also sad. So many more important things were happening at the time.
posted by infinite intimation at 7:14 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

How the hell can anyone legitimately earn $25 million compensation in a year just for doing a job?

I think it's hilarious how all the WallStreet titans are going on about how they need to pay their traders so much money because they're just like "Movie Stars" or "Top Athletes" or something. As if some fat old bond trader couldn't be replaced pretty easily.

But the basic reason is that these CEOs all sit on each others boards and make determinations on eachother's salaries. They also often hire "compensation consultants" who of course have an incentive go recommend exorbitant so they keep getting rehired by other companies.
posted by delmoi at 7:14 PM on February 3, 2010 [7 favorites]

This is really just an attempt to make Tom Campbell's campaign go viral.
posted by drezdn at 7:17 PM on February 3, 2010

"How the hell can anyone legitimately earn $25 million compensation in a year just for doing a job?" ...Especially when it is Carly Fiorina.

From Wikipedia: "Before her departure, Fiorina had launched an intensive hunt for board room leaks, and one of the leakers later turned out to be George A. Keyworth, II. Dunn continued to investigate along these lines to determine which board member(s) has been leaking information to the media. The methods used by Dunn led to the HP spying scandal and she was soon succeeded by Mark Hurd.

Outside judgments on Fiorina's tenure at HP are mixed. In 2008, Infoworld grouped her with a list of products and ideas as flops, declaring her to be the "anti-Steve Jobs" for reversing the goodwill of American engineers and for alienating existing customers. In 2008, Loren Steffy of the New York Times suggested that the EDS acquisition well after Fiorina's tenure was evidence that her actions as CEO were justified. In April 2009, the business magazine web site Condé Nast Portfolio listed Fiorina as one of the "The 20 Worst American CEOs of all time," characterizing the HP-Compaq merger as widely regarded as a failure, and citing the halving of HP's stock value under Fiorina's tenure."

Keep on accomplishing "stuff" Carly.
posted by pashdown at 7:18 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

This may go viral. But viral in the sense that it kills its host.
posted by gofargogo at 7:18 PM on February 3, 2010 [9 favorites]

First impression: they're calling Fiscal Conservatives sheep. An accurate analogy, but not good for selling yourself TO Fiscal Conservatives. And the similarity of FCINO to Fiorino is something you'd think they'd have noticed. And those did not all look like stock sheep footage. How much did this self-parody cost to make (including a hefty markup and 'creative fees' for the producers). Who's the big spender now?
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:20 PM on February 3, 2010

That was so awful, my Siamese kitty climbed off my lap and stood on the keys of my laptop to (successfully) pause that mess. Thanks, buddy!
posted by porn in the woods at 7:22 PM on February 3, 2010 [9 favorites]

White people looking concerned? WE GOT THAT B-ROLL
posted by drezdn at 7:23 PM on February 3, 2010 [17 favorites]

As far as the Veridian Dynamics-ish content of the ad... On one hand they come down hard because California is going bankrupt, but on the other hand they complain that Campbell won't promise to raise taxes? There's really only so much you can cut.
posted by drezdn at 7:25 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh I see... so the California people abused the referendum process to vote themselves everything but ice cream fountains, with no provision on how to pay for those... Then the guy votes to raise taxes to fucking BALANCE THE BUDGET instead of letting the deficit go rampant.

Yeah, what kind of fiscal conservative would want to balance the budget? He even went as far as going against the tax cuts from the most fiscal conservative president of all time, His Holiness George W. Bush.
posted by qvantamon at 7:27 PM on February 3, 2010 [4 favorites]

If I were Tom Campbell, I'd pay to run that ad on television myself. That is awesome.
posted by empath at 7:29 PM on February 3, 2010 [8 favorites]

The dude crawling around in a sheep mask with red glowing eyes was pretty weird. Did anyone else notice he was wearing loafers?

You're shitting me.

I could imagine a dude in a sheep suit wearing birkenstocks with thick wool socks because he's all outdoorsy and shit. Or I could imagine a dude in a sheep suit wearing some nice fuck-me pumps, because them ewes is nothing if not sexy.

But loafers? Worse than Hitler.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:31 PM on February 3, 2010

Ha! My wife sez "The counter is obvious: You can't spell Fiorino with R I N O".
posted by boo_radley at 7:32 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I think the narrator sounds like this.
posted by eye of newt at 7:33 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

In other news from the department of weird campaign ads, a corporation is running for office.
posted by exogenous at 7:34 PM on February 3, 2010

Oh man i suffered thru the DEC merger with compaq and the compaq merger with HP. This woman is a trainwreck.
posted by MrLint at 7:39 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

Wouldn't actual fiscal conservativism be paying for the things you're doing instead of running up enormous deficits? I mean, I know that's not the current definition of the term as used by the Republican party, but when faced with a situation where it's not possible to legally cancel programs enacted by the people of California, the only thing someone trying to be fiscally responsible can really do is attempt to raise taxes to pay for those things.

Of course, in the face of political ads feature dudes wearing sheep suits and weird masks with red LEDs behind the eye holes, any sort of appeal to reason like my above paragraph is clearly a waste of pixels.
posted by Caduceus at 7:44 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

That sheep rising up on a pillar is pure Monty Python's Flying Circus, though. I can respect that.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 7:45 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

If anyone here has worked in engineering for HP (or even Lucent) under Fiorina or knows someone who has, I'd love to hear about it... it's got to have been even more surreal and Dilbert-esque than I'd ever imagined.
posted by weston at 7:50 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Fiorina was supposedly a "top economic advisor" to the McCain-Palin campaign, whose economic strategy was laughable.

The question is: was McCain taking Fiorina's advice, or was she disregarded? Not sure which is more unflattering for her.
posted by neuron at 7:52 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

MrLint: don't tease. Tell us more!
posted by weston at 7:52 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh, God. She's not just appealing to Tea Baggers, she's trying to get the Furry vote.

That would be these guys, no?
posted by dunkadunc at 8:01 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I don't remember there being any sheep in Hegel. Maybe she's moved on. Anyway, I'd love to be a fly-on-the-wall in the 'creative team' debrief, once the sheep poop hits the fan.
posted by carter at 8:01 PM on February 3, 2010

"A tax on the Intahnet!"

What the hell kind of accent is that supposed to be?

Sounds like my grandmother who grew up in Lowell, MA. She also say "wundeful" instead of wonderful. She live in California now and has some form of dementia, so maybe this is the ad's target audience?
posted by piratebowling at 8:01 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

It's pronounced, "Fuck, I know," right?
posted by klangklangston at 8:04 PM on February 3, 2010

Say what you want, that was a pretty kickass soundtrack.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:05 PM on February 3, 2010

That was so stupendously colossally bad I cannot believe it was not a plant by the other side. Just wow.
posted by chinston at 8:09 PM on February 3, 2010

At least she didn't accuse him of being a friendless flip-floppin' liar who looks like a Frankenstein and hates fire.
posted by adamg at 8:23 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

America, take heart. This is their first string. All we have to fear is our fear of losing. If we stand up there and push our agenda--not just the politicians, but all of us out there, we will get this job done.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:27 PM on February 3, 2010 [9 favorites]

This is like all those shows on Adult Swim where I feel like I'm missing a vital part of the experience because I'm not high.

"and sadly we're just getting started"

Pretty much sums up my feelings on anything having to do with upcoming elections.
posted by nowoutside at 8:28 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

"And sadly, we're just getting started."

Tell me about it.
posted by penduluum at 8:34 PM on February 3, 2010

ok, now I am hearing like a TINNNNY bit of a Christopher Wouualllken (Walken) 'accent' in there.

Al Fcino. indeed.
posted by infinite intimation at 8:34 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

#demonsheep is now trending on Twitter.
posted by Asparagirl at 8:35 PM on February 3, 2010 [5 favorites]

Hewlett-Packard's PAC has donated $10,000 to Barbara Boxer's campaign. It has donated nothing so far toward for HP CEO Carly Fiorina's.
posted by Guy Smiley at 8:36 PM on February 3, 2010 [14 favorites]

(former, not for.)
posted by Guy Smiley at 8:38 PM on February 3, 2010

That was fucking insane. I can not believe that someone over age 20 put that crap together.

You know what makes me mad? When the Democrats are losing, they move to the right and act more like Republicans, but when the Republicans are losing, they move farther to their wingnut, right-wing edge. How come we can't move to our extremes when we lose? How come when there's a Republican in the white house we don't have leftist politicians airing pscho socialist ads that accuse other Dems of being too capitalistic? Plus, how come they get all the sheep?
posted by serazin at 9:21 PM on February 3, 2010 [4 favorites]

> Plus, how come they get all the sheep?

It's demon sheep that the Democrats are low on.

Regular sheep? They've got plenty of those.
posted by darth_tedious at 9:34 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

Ultimately, say what you will, there can be only one dominant snow plow force in the Springfield market.

Carly Fiorina is the Plow King.
posted by darth_tedious at 9:49 PM on February 3, 2010 [6 favorites]

I... I just don't understand. Leaving aside the demon sheep for just a second, how is somebody going to fix the chronically underfunded because of lack of tax base California budget by cutting taxes? Or is asking this kind of question just considered irrelevant in the face of the guy crawling around in the meadow with a fake sheepskin and loafers?
posted by jokeefe at 9:50 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

What that ad reminded me of: Harrison Greeley III and Charles McHutchense claim to have new found respect for one another.
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:50 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

I don't think it's an accent, I think the narrator is trying to hold his voice at an unnatural low pitch.
posted by delmoi at 9:53 PM on February 3, 2010

Oh, California, if only your movie industry was as endlessly entertaining as your political, um, "process." Stay gold, Pony Boy, Stay gold.
posted by KingEdRa at 9:54 PM on February 3, 2010

By the way, is there any kind of Fiscal Conservative in these modern United States other than a FCINO?
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:55 PM on February 3, 2010 [4 favorites]

You remember that Twilight Zone...

No change! No change!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:58 PM on February 3, 2010

That narrator sure sounds like Robert Davi. Pretty sure he's a Republican, so it wouldn't be surprising.

"Leaving aside the demon sheep for just a second, how is somebody going to fix the chronically underfunded because of lack of tax base California budget by cutting taxes?"

That's a good question, but I don't think Carly Fiorina would give a straight answer if someone asked her. She'd just hem and haw and play to emotion like her ad does. That's what conservatives do everywhere, not just in California. In my province the Conservative government is saying that they'll pay off our deficit without raising taxes. I don't know, maybe a magic sheep will appear and crap gold, thus saving us all.
posted by Kevin Street at 9:59 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

how is somebody going to fix the chronically underfunded because of lack of tax base California budget by cutting taxes?

By drowning government in a bathtub.
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:59 PM on February 3, 2010

Real-time results for #demonsheep

Trend Info

1,411 more tweets since you started searching.

Ah, there's nothing like a firestorm of Internet ridicule when it's found a worthy subject of mockery.
posted by jokeefe at 10:02 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

What. Are those even Californian sheep?!
posted by Mister Cheese at 10:20 PM on February 3, 2010

Seriously, I busted out laughing when that demon sheep popped out from behind the tree trunk. This ad explains pretty clearly why she was such a spectacular failure at HP.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 10:28 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

How exactly is FCINO supposed to be pronounced? Because "fuhchino" is just a little uncomfortably close to the way the precocious 5-year-old I used to babysit in grad school would pronounce "vagina."
posted by scody at 10:53 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

But I was totally looking forward to California merging with Texas and having an economy that rivals Arkansas.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:58 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

FuC if INO.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:58 PM on February 3, 2010 [5 favorites]

That
was
AWESOME!

I'll vote* for Carly Fiorina if she promises me my very own demon sheep.

*hamburger.
posted by lekvar at 11:00 PM on February 3, 2010

Does Fiona dream of demon sheep?
posted by telstar at 11:01 PM on February 3, 2010 [11 favorites]

How exactly is FCINO supposed to be pronounced? Because "fuhchino"

Fire up your worst Italian accent and flick your fingers against the bottom of your chin. It's OK, I'll wait...That's fun as hell isn't it? Do that to all your Republican friends as you accuse them of being not fiscally conservative enough and you'll feel like you're in The Godfather. Hell, I might vote for Carly Fiorina just for all the fun she's given me tonight (Not really).
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 11:13 PM on February 3, 2010

How exactly is FCINO supposed to be pronounced?

FIAMO! Ciao!
posted by dirigibleman at 11:24 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Demon sheep? Don't you guys know anything about California politics? That's obviously a robot sheep sent back in time to stop another robot from stopping a real sheep from doing ... whatever it is sheep do.
posted by aubilenon at 11:57 PM on February 3, 2010 [5 favorites]

BADSHEEPINSANE
posted by Skeptic at 1:13 AM on February 4, 2010 [4 favorites]

And note the near-fatal thrust that is Carly Fiorina's description of Tom Campbell as a FCINO; Tom Campbell's only hope of riposte is to label her a CAMTOMPAMBELL.
posted by darth_tedious at 2:09 AM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

So, can you guys vote for her in the primary?
posted by Anything at 3:12 AM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

If you ignore the Purity sheep beginning, which I have to because I don't understand it, then the first thing the video does is pose the question of whether Tom Campbell is a fiscal genius. That isn't how I'd structure an attack ad.
posted by rdr at 4:23 AM on February 4, 2010

In the Philippines they have fist-fights in their government assemblies, but here in America we got money to spend on our craziness. Go USA!
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:32 AM on February 4, 2010

I'm glad to see some millionaires out there are doing exactly what I'd do if I were a crazy millionaire.

Except my sheep would vomit green slime.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:38 AM on February 4, 2010 [6 favorites]

That first part had a Gilliamesque quality that I can only assume was intentional.

And, you know, in all seriousness, you have to give them this:
Not hiring actors? Fiscally conservative.
posted by AugieAugustus at 5:41 AM on February 4, 2010

I busted out laughing when that demon sheep popped out from behind the tree trunk.

Seconded. This is the funniest video I've seen today. Move over, Death Metal Rooster!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:06 AM on February 4, 2010

I think it's hilarious how all the WallStreet titans are going on about how they need to pay their traders so much money because they're just like "Movie Stars" or "Top Athletes" or something. As if some fat old bond trader couldn't be replaced pretty easily.

Seriously, when I worked at Salomon Smith Barney, we had a broker who always worked from home. He was supposed to be some kind of supergenius with options trading. I found out the real reason he never came in later. Once, he'd come into the office coked up out of his mind, with a gun. Did they fire him? No. They just hired some extra assistants to sit in his office and occasionally carry sandwiches across the street to his fancy apartment.

(That said, I liked the guy!)
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:18 AM on February 4, 2010 [3 favorites]

Goodness, it comes off like satire of a political attack ad. I began laughing when the demon sheep first popped up and left speechless when it showed the guy crawling around. Prior to that, what with the sheep rising on a pillar, I was then just struck by the oddness.

If I were a California Republican voter, I'd be voting for Campbell if only because he didn't approve this loony thing.
posted by Atreides at 6:20 AM on February 4, 2010

It's pronounced, "Fuck, I know," right?

You're forgetting that the Republicans are the party of FuCkIn NO.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:51 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Wolves in sheep's clothing wear men's dress shoes?
posted by Reverend John at 8:07 AM on February 4, 2010

I like the background music. Kind of got a Lux Aeterna/O Fortuna thing going on there. I thought the narrator was going to start off with the phrase "In a World..."
posted by Cookiebastard at 8:24 AM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm waiting for Saturday Night Live's parody of this. Oh, wait this is their parody.
posted by ericb at 8:35 AM on February 4, 2010

Heh. @demonsheep is now on Twitter
posted by gaspode at 8:43 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Lest we forget her Carlyfornia website from last year.

"It's day & night. It's dogs & cats. It's good & bad. It's Carly vs. Boxer. Coming soon? ...Carlyfornia Dreamin'"

Really? That website and now this horrendous ad? Really?
posted by ericb at 8:47 AM on February 4, 2010

Dogs, cats and sheep. Up next -- wolves?
posted by ericb at 8:49 AM on February 4, 2010

Four legs good, two legs bad!
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:22 AM on February 4, 2010 [4 favorites]

Ahem. [tap.tap.tap] Is this thing on? [inhale] Loved it. Just sayin. Apparently, I'm alone on this.
posted by valentinepig at 9:39 AM on February 4, 2010

If I were a California Republican voter, I'd be voting for Campbell if only because he didn't approve this loony thing.

Well, I am a California Republican voter, and I certainly will be voting for Campbell over Fiorina in the primary, but not just because of the crazy attack ad on him. I will also be voting for Campbell because he is my preferred flavor of fiscally responsible libertarian Republican, not a conservative Republican. Witness, for example, his previous calls to legalize drugs (and not just marijuana!), and his support for same-sex marriage! For those reasons, I would hope perhaps some Democrats and Independents could be swayed into voting for him, too...
posted by Asparagirl at 9:43 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

That's all kinds of nutty. I was expecting that guy in the costume to run over and bugger a sheep.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:45 AM on February 4, 2010

Tom Campbell's only hope of riposte is to label her a CAMTOMPAMBELL.

I first started reading this thread thinking that FCINO was some sort of twitteresque abbreviation of Fiorina's name, but then I realized her name is not "Farly Ciorino."
posted by yarrow at 10:05 AM on February 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

wow. i saw twitter blathering about demon sheep but hadn't watched the ad until now.

this aired on an actual television channel and not some CATV public access thing? AWESOME.

also, i think we've seen that same 'contemptlative lip chomping' pose from bush II as well as clinton.
posted by rmd1023 at 10:29 AM on February 4, 2010

valentinepig: "Ahem. [tap.tap.tap] Is this thing on? [inhale] Loved it. Just sayin. Apparently, I'm alone on this."

I'd love to hear you make the case for its merits, especially one which focuses on this ad's contents versus your opinion on CFIORINA vs FCINO.
posted by Reverend John at 10:29 AM on February 4, 2010

God, can you imagine being the guy who had to wear the sheep costume? "No, we need you to root around in the grass more, make it look like you're eating." As if working for a Republican campaign in California wasn't demeaning enough.

Also, the most fiscally conservative thing Fiorina can do at this point is put that demon sheep costume on eBay and put the proceeds in the general fund.
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 10:37 AM on February 4, 2010

Gah. Now I'm actually kind of scared to click over to that link. There's just some shit you can un-see, you know?
posted by Space Kitty at 1:20 PM on February 4, 2010

scody: "How exactly is FCINO supposed to be pronounced? Because "fuhchino" is just a little uncomfortably close to the way the precocious 5-year-old I used to babysit in grad school would pronounce "vagina.""

Well, thanks for that meme. Now it'll be stuck in my head forever. Damn you.

Having lost my job due to the sheer incompetence of Carly and her "lay off the people who actually do the work so we can reward the people on the top floors", I hope her opponent defeats her in such a way that she will never run again. I don't even care what he stands for, as long as he's not Carly, he's good.

But I can only imagine that this ad was designed to do EXACTLY what's it's doing; which is to get people talking about it. Would any of us be discussing the california republican primary otherwise? No? Then the ad did it's job. It'll drive "brand recognition". Sure, you and I think it's crazy, but keep in mind that a goodly number of voters have zero idea what any of the candidates actually stand for. They vote for the name they recognize. This ad will generate brand identity. Every left-leaning media outlet will/has covered it. She didn't even have to pay to run this ad, it's all over the place. Free media spend, baby.

This ad was viral. It was intentionally viral. And it worked.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 2:33 PM on February 4, 2010 [3 favorites]

They vote for the name they recognize. This ad will generate brand identity. Every left-leaning media outlet will/has covered it.

Yeah...but, that brand identity is coming off as off the medication crazy. There's a line you can go up to in making the general populace aware of your presence and name, before in addition to that awareness people tag on attributes...like crazy. Her campaign just waved good bye to that sucker.
posted by Atreides at 2:51 PM on February 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

Well, it makes ewe think...
posted by Artw at 2:56 PM on February 4, 2010 [5 favorites]

I thought it sounded kind of like a Massachusetts accent as well, piratebowling. I guess when you want to sound like an everyday person in California you get a New Englander to talk for you. I wonder if that's what Fiorina's ad team thinks her constituency sounds like in their heads.
posted by Lokisbane at 3:00 PM on February 4, 2010

If anyone here has worked in engineering for HP (or even Lucent) under Fiorina or knows someone who has, I'd love to hear about it... it's got to have been even more surreal and Dilbert-esque than I'd ever imagined.

Not engineering, but tech support, and it was almost as bad. I supported the Intuity Audix voice mail system back in the day, and we got to deal with the fallout of bad engineering and business decisions. Two examples:

1.) Audix had a feature called a broadcast mailbox, which is pretty much like it sounds--you leave a message in it, and everyone on the system hears it. It's useful for distributing messages like "The cafeteria is out of doughnuts" or what have you.

Audix also had a distribution list feature, which let users build lists of people to receive messages, up to a limited number of users (it's been over ten years, so I'm a little fuzzy on the exact number). There was also an add-on feature that was basically a mass distribution list with an unlimited size. Internally, it was a horrible ungodly kludge that essentially consisted of multiple nested regular-type distribution lists. It didn't really work all that well, and as I recall, it was a pricy option.

This abomination existed solely because one client--one--had a CEO who threw such a fit over receiving broadcast messages that he managed to bully the company into putting together a feature that would require a secretary to manually add hundreds of phone extensions into a huge unwieldy list. A huge waste of time, yes, but by God, he'd save at least twenty seconds a day not listening to messages!

2.) The way the support team was structured was that there were three tiers of help: Tier 1 handled basic routine nontechnical requests like "My phone caught fire, and I need a new one shipped out, please". Tier 2 handled the front-line tech support for the voice mail systems, phone switches, and so on. Tier 3--where I wound up eventually--was the group that handled the really complex and/or oddball problems. It was a reasonably functional system.

Then one day, we had a client (it may or may not have been a car company that rhymes with "boy soda") who complained that they didn't like having to call (Gasp!) two separate numbers for equipment replacement and technical support. They wanted one point of contact for everything.

Hey fucking presto, a week later all of us tech grunts were also phone ordering specialists by managerial fiat, and they laid off all the Tier 1 people (almost all of them women for some odd reason). This was the New Way Forward, we were told, and it was good.

Somehow it didn't work out all that well in practice. Calls weren't prioritized or sorted--we were just as likely to get a "My handset needs replacing" call as a "There's a smoking crater where my PBX used to be" one. Hours were wasted as we flipped through unfamiliar lists of phones and other parts, looking for the right part numbers to order, while high-priority tech support calls sat in the queue for minutes at a time.

The whole state of affairs lasted about eight days. All of a sudden, we came in one morning to find every single Tier 1 person hired back "temporarily", and the phone queues set back the way they had been before. This was supposed to be a stopgap measure until all of us tech support people were retrained. Somehow they never got around to it...at least before I left in 1999.

"The customer is always right" is bullshit, I guess, would be one of the things to take away from this. The other one is "Carly Fiorina doesn't know how to run a damn business".
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:44 PM on February 4, 2010 [6 favorites]

The Pink Floyd riff is mighty hilarious. I don't even know where to start on the so many levels this is wrong, I mean right, I mean...
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 6:22 PM on February 4, 2010

posted by Vavuzi at 12:52 AM on February 5, 2010

This thread would be sorely remiss if nobody said
"That's all well and good for sheep, but what are we to do?"
posted by AugieAugustus at 5:00 AM on February 5, 2010

Anyone link to the Pink floyd remix yet?
posted by delmoi at 9:10 AM on February 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

Fred Davis, Fiorina's 'demon sheep' creator, speaks
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 10:31 PM on February 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

The fact that Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" video shows up as a Related Video to this ad shows that YouTube's algorithms are obviously doing something right.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:09 PM on February 6, 2010 [2 favorites]