July 10, 2001

5:49 AM

Are all the journalists on summer vacation? The "big stories" on the CNN homepage: Second attempt launched to save injured whale, Backstreet Boys postpone summer concerts, and, the big news in the year's political sex scandal, D.C. police want to search congressman's apartment. Please wake me up when the real reporters return to CNN.
posted by tranquileye (12 comments total)

Second attempt launched to save injured whale

Yet more evidence of a liberal bias in the media.
posted by lagado at 5:55 AM on July 10, 2001

This is the real news story today...
posted by machaus at 6:02 AM on July 10, 2001

haha! Anyone watch Free Speech TV? There was a program on liberal media myth a couple of nights back, interesting stuff, had Noam Chomsky and all, it was followed by the pro-communist happy hour and then dyke tv I think. They have a website that outlines steps necessary to defeat capitalism. More power to them I say.

It's only on Dish Network, but I think you can get it through local access at certain hours.
posted by tiaka at 6:05 AM on July 10, 2001

Two words: Interns.
posted by eau at 6:14 AM on July 10, 2001

I never knew real reporters on CNN existed.
posted by I am Generic at 7:15 AM on July 10, 2001

Real reporters don't work for corporate media because their voices would never get heard.
posted by fleener at 8:32 AM on July 10, 2001

There aren't any reporters there, just nude models, thanks to Ted's Turnovers.
posted by MarkO at 9:33 AM on July 10, 2001

hanging out at the cnn building while vacationing in atlanta, i came to the conclusion that the only people they let walk around during lunchtime are their extemely fashionable and not to mention very good looking women.
posted by lotsofno at 11:41 AM on July 10, 2001

I don't think CNN every has any real news. I've watched it for hours and haven't ever seen any. "In this hour we preview highlights from the last hour". CNN obviously stands for the "Crappiest News Network", the world's laziest news gathering service. My personal version of hell is to be locked in an international airport transit lounge watching CNN for eternity....
posted by lagado at 5:08 PM on July 10, 2001

hanging out at the cnn building while vacationing in atlanta, i came to the conclusion that the only people they let walk around during lunchtime are their extemely fashionable and not to mention very good looking women.

Hmmmm....
posted by solistrato at 5:38 PM on July 10, 2001

Actually, the entire Backstreet Boys thing is quite intriguing, if you delve a little bit further.

We have the Boy Band Bubble, about ready to burst. We have boy bands, trying to keep the bubble growing as long as possible. The question then is how to maintain interest in a band whose fans are starting to lose that interest.

Quite simple. Claim that member broke their hand, and postpone all shows and public appearances. People feel sorry for the kid, symapthy pours out, and cd/ticket sales rise. But what if a member from a rival band ALSO incurs an injury, but that rival band does not need to postpone appearances?

Move to strategy B, of course. Tell everybody that one of the members is in rehab. Dont' make it for coke, make it for something legal, like alcohol. However, the troupe of young kids listening to the music aren't all likely to cry for a boozer. So add depression in. But not depression of hitting it big, people decry that. Too passe. One member's grandmother just died, that will make an excellent referencing point. Make sure the rehab center is "undisclosed" to cover any tracks. If no one at any rehab center reports seeing one of the more highly visible men in entertainment, that is becaused the location is "undisclosed."

People everywhere have em/sympathy, cd/ticket sales climb, and you attract fans that normally would not listen to their music. The boy band bubble gets a small recharge, and at least the Backstreet Boys get to stay in business a little while longer.

Let us all take a second to bask in the absolute SPLENDOR that is the PR system.
posted by Homeskillet Freshy Fresh at 1:35 AM on July 11, 2001