Man Finds A Real Dragon! Kinda Tiny…See Ma, they do exist!

February 16, 2010 2:52 PM

Man Finds A Real Dragon! Kinda Tiny…

Okay, so he can't breath fire or fly. BUT, he has little wings. One day, he might even evolve into a elf bearing mega monster.

posted by Olive Oil (72 comments total)

Simpsons did it.
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:54 PM on February 16, 2010

Ugh, Time stop - Stone Skin - Spell turning - Summon Elemental - Raise Unread - Protection From Evil - Gate Fiend - Simulacrum - Fireball.

Or just step on it, whatever.
posted by The Whelk at 2:55 PM on February 16, 2010 [24 favorites]

I can't wait to see the outfit that Lady Gaga wears based on this creature.
posted by greekphilosophy at 2:58 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

she will wear two of them as earrings and then nothing but UV bodypaint
posted by The Whelk at 3:01 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

That thing is ridiculously adorable. It needs a tiny saddle and some sort of gilded armour, though.
posted by elizardbits at 3:03 PM on February 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

Indonesia is badass.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:03 PM on February 16, 2010

It's so cute!
posted by brundlefly at 3:08 PM on February 16, 2010

They have sea dragons too. Like sea horses, but more dragon-y.
posted by smackfu at 3:08 PM on February 16, 2010

Here's a video of the lizard, called funnily enough Draco.
posted by dhruva at 3:11 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Let me right now discourage people from having sex with it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:12 PM on February 16, 2010 [18 favorites]

You can laugh now, but as soon as that Giant lets him go you're going to see some serious shit.
posted by panboi at 3:16 PM on February 16, 2010 [7 favorites]

Metafilter: Raise Unread
posted by herodotus at 3:19 PM on February 16, 2010 [8 favorites]

Oh fuck! This is what the prophecy was talking about!

Ok people, I never really figured I was going to need to put this out there, but here's the drill; in the next couple of weeks we are going to start seeing a lot of this sort of thing. But, and this is the really, really important part, do not believe anything the unicorn tells you.

It's not magical, it does not grant wishes, and to be honest, it's kind of a pervert.

Also, be really careful about stepping on leprechauns, they might be tiny, but they are angry, angry people who will fuck. you. up.

Now, one of you is probably going to find some kind of Cursed Sword or something, you'll know it because it'll be on fire and screaming. (it does this all the time, hence the name; you will swear at it before too long.) Anyhow, when you find this, you are going to need to take it to a mountain or something. I'll be honest, I wasn't totally paying attention to the vision, but I think you have to chop down a tree, or maybe watch a goat climb a tree.

Whatever, the sword will probably be able to tell you what you are going to need to to.

But seriously, don't listen to the unicorn.
posted by quin at 3:21 PM on February 16, 2010 [36 favorites]

"...or maybe watch a goat climb a tree."

It's already started!
posted by Kevin Street at 3:25 PM on February 16, 2010

Now, one of you is probably going to find some kind of Cursed Sword or something, you'll know it because it'll be on fire and screaming.

What you mean Shouty over here? He screams in Old French, which is not helpful. How many people you think can understand old french when it's being shouted at them by a burning weapon with a thick Norman accent? Hint: not many.
posted by The Whelk at 3:26 PM on February 16, 2010 [6 favorites]

Did someone try feeding it a chili pepper? I mean, we might be able to solve one of those deficiencies.
posted by Atreides at 3:35 PM on February 16, 2010

Norbert.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:42 PM on February 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

No way! There was a guy on MeFi who once had a dragon, but his was a lot bigger.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:48 PM on February 16, 2010

Tap him to feed to your Lord Of The Pit. About all he's good for.
posted by sourwookie at 3:49 PM on February 16, 2010

Shit, no. Pump that whelp full of mountains and let him blow up!
posted by sciurus at 3:50 PM on February 16, 2010

You should see the reason goats would want to climb trees. You do not want to mess with it.
posted by Artw at 3:52 PM on February 16, 2010

Or Norberta, Joe Beese. :)
posted by chihiro at 3:53 PM on February 16, 2010

Thanks sciurus! It's been about ten years and I've forgotten.
posted by sourwookie at 3:57 PM on February 16, 2010

"Tens est del saccagier les luitons lasches!"
posted by darkstar at 4:07 PM on February 16, 2010

Dude you can just have the sword if you want it.
posted by The Whelk at 4:08 PM on February 16, 2010

All I know is you don't want to get between it and those prostitute leprechauns.
posted by darkstar at 4:14 PM on February 16, 2010

Yay! Now we can genetically engineer some bigger dragons.

Dibs on a gold.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:18 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Let me right now discourage people from having sex with it.

Let me right now encourage people to film it having sex with (matchbox) cars.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:24 PM on February 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

All I know is you don't want to get between it and those prostitute leprechauns.

Do you have to pay in pots of gold?
posted by The Whelk at 4:26 PM on February 16, 2010

So, if someone were to, say, stomp those into extinction, that'd get him canonized, yes?
posted by Sys Rq at 4:39 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Did someone try feeding it a chili pepper?"

I don't think proper dragons are supposed to poop the fire.
posted by majick at 4:50 PM on February 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

First person to say "RAWR" (me excluded) gets it in the head.
posted by bwg at 5:03 PM on February 16, 2010

Growf?
posted by Aversion Therapy at 5:38 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Ugh, Time stop - Stone Skin - Spell turning - Summon Elemental - Raise Unread - Protection From Evil - Gate Fiend - Simulacrum - Fireball.

Sounds like you need a rest, The Whelk.
posted by invitapriore at 5:46 PM on February 16, 2010

Clearly it's a fire lizard and just needs some genetic engineering to become a dragon. Has it teleported yet?
posted by Karmakaze at 6:00 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

be really careful about stepping on leprechauns

With beats this big, what am I supposed to do??
posted by inigo2 at 6:26 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Has it teleported yet?

Gone between, Karmakaze! Gone between.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:10 PM on February 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Hmm, Wade is going to need an awful lot of those little guys to make that armor he promised me.
posted by homunculus at 7:12 PM on February 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Chili pepper? Pfft it should be lamp oil and coal if you want a really good burn.
posted by porpoise at 7:45 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Come to think of it, though, this is actually more of a wyvern.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:57 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sounds like you need a rest, The Whelk.

Uh, hello, Time Stop.
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 PM on February 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

Ugh, Time stop - Stone Skin - Spell turning - Summon Elemental - Raise Unread - Protection From Evil - Gate Fiend - Simulacrum - Fireball.

Fireball? On a dragon?

Since you have 9th level spells, try this sequence.

Shape Change (before you attack dragon)
Time Stop
Change into Mind Flayer
Improved Grab (*auto-hits) x4
Mind Suck
posted by Bonzai at 8:48 PM on February 16, 2010

Since you have 9th level spells, try this sequence.

"What kind of trap is this? All it did was spray me with ketchup."
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:06 PM on February 16, 2010

You're forgetting how much I perfer other people do my work for me.
posted by The Whelk at 9:12 PM on February 16, 2010

Fireball really should have been comet, but who wants a short fight?
posted by The Whelk at 9:13 PM on February 16, 2010

GUYS!? GUYS?!? CAN I HAVE A MOUNTAIN DEW?!
posted by greekphilosophy at 9:22 PM on February 16, 2010

THE WHELK CASTS MAZE: GREEKPHILSOPHY

We drink COFFEE here.
posted by The Whelk at 9:31 PM on February 16, 2010

I have a million hit points and maximum charisma
posted by The Whelk at 9:32 PM on February 16, 2010

And yet, rocks still fall. And everyone does, in fact, perish.
posted by quin at 10:06 PM on February 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

Ok, help me here....sci-fi story where a scientist speeds up the metabolic rate of crocodiles (or alligators) and they grow to extreme size and develop wings and become dragons that terrorize the world....author and name? TIA!
posted by swimming naked when the tide goes out at 11:17 PM on February 16, 2010

Yertle the Turtle. I'm pretty sure.
posted by greekphilosophy at 11:22 PM on February 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

gp: definitely not...it was a short story and was more adult-focused.
posted by swimming naked when the tide goes out at 11:23 PM on February 16, 2010

gp: definitely not...it was a short story and was more adult-focused.

Jenna the Jameson?
posted by maxwelton at 11:55 PM on February 16, 2010

It's a cute little smaugling, to be sure.


I CAN HAZ FAMILIARZ?
posted by darkstar at 12:28 AM on February 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

snwttgo: Ok, help me here....sci-fi story where a scientist speeds up the metabolic rate of crocodiles (or alligators) and they grow to extreme size and develop wings and become dragons that terrorize the world....author and name?

Sounds like you mean something by Anne McCaffrey.
posted by The Mouthchew at 1:07 AM on February 17, 2010

I really should have held off on my Pern question until all you people came out of the woodwork in this thread.

Anyway it's adorable and I want one.
posted by Mizu at 3:03 AM on February 17, 2010

Four legs PLUS wings. Suck it, wyvern lovers.
posted by rahnefan at 4:55 AM on February 17, 2010

we've found middle earth

wait till you see how small the dwarves and hobbits are
posted by pyramid termite at 5:10 AM on February 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

Rrrrraaaarrrrrr!
posted by longbaugh at 5:59 AM on February 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oooh, ooh, you're right. That thar is a a six limbed creature. Better picture here.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:06 AM on February 17, 2010

Sounds like you mean something by Anne McCaffrey.

Nah, McCaffrey's dragons are all cuddly and shit.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:07 AM on February 17, 2010

That thar is a a six limbed creature.

Uh, no. The "wings" are just its ribcage.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:18 AM on February 17, 2010

I originally typed "appendaged" but, for some reason, changed my mind. Oh well.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:23 AM on February 17, 2010

I forgive you.

For what it's worth, I am often laughed at for referring to arachnids as ten-limbed. Pedipalps are just too awesome to be so brusquely dismissed as ostentatious antennae.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:48 AM on February 17, 2010 [3 favorites]

Metafilter: Brusquely dismissed as ostentatious antennae.
posted by The Whelk at 7:49 AM on February 17, 2010 [4 favorites]

For what it's worth, I am often laughed at for referring to arachnids as ten-limbed. Pedipalps are just too awesome to be so brusquely dismissed as ostentatious antennae.


You know what they say:

Once you go arachnid, you never go back(nid)!
posted by darkstar at 8:07 AM on February 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sorry, can't help myself. Right now I'm playing an Arachnomancer Bard in a campaign...
posted by darkstar at 8:08 AM on February 17, 2010

for swimming naked when the tide goes out:
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/38933.html

http://www.scribbleandshutter.com/2007/writing/daybeaver/daydragon01.htm

i read this as a kid in the alfred hitchcock book, and have frequently wondered about it since. thanks for reminding me!
posted by Erroneous at 8:10 AM on February 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Arachnomancer Bard

How many songs about spiders are there really?
posted by The Whelk at 8:16 AM on February 17, 2010

How many songs about spiders are there really?

Well, there's the Epic Saga of the Waterspout. . .
posted by KathrynT at 9:03 AM on February 17, 2010 [4 favorites]

Thank you Erroneous! Not only a definitely right answer, but a link to read it. Awesome!
posted by swimming naked when the tide goes out at 11:32 AM on February 17, 2010

I never thought that when these fearsome creatures finally returned to our earth/reality that they would be so everloving cute.
posted by kaiseki at 4:20 PM on February 17, 2010