CereProc: The Voice of the Future

February 18, 2010 12:39 PM

Miss those knee-slapper Bushisms? The same technology that will give cancer-stricken Roger Ebert back his voice can be used to generate the voice of Dubya through the magic of Bush-o-matic.
posted by jefficator (64 comments total)

What?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 12:50 PM on February 18, 2010

Miss those knee-slapper Bushisms?

Nope.
posted by nathancaswell at 12:52 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

This can only be used for evil hilarity.
posted by The Whelk at 12:52 PM on February 18, 2010

Making him read Obama's speeches is a helluva mindfuck. And also an eerie peek into how different 2000-2008 could have been with a more intelligent leader.
posted by lholladay at 12:53 PM on February 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: Gives Cancer-Stricken Riger Ebert back his voice
posted by tmcw at 12:56 PM on February 18, 2010

"I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

Wow. If nothing else, this post has opened my eyes to the fact that Bush is still (speaking like) a loon.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:59 PM on February 18, 2010

I had him say my favorite lines from "Taxi Driver":

"Let me have it. Gimme the bread. This all you got? Reach in your sock and get the rest."
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:00 PM on February 18, 2010

I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.

*generate*

*generate*

*generate*

*generate*

Hasn't gotten old yet.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:01 PM on February 18, 2010 [15 favorites]

"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Islam forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:05 PM on February 18, 2010

http://www.idyacy.com/output/d1dd0140dcf6942eaefa56358b634db4.swf
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 1:10 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh, damn.

http://www.idyacy.com/output/d1dd0140dcf6942eaefa56358b634db4.swf

That.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 1:11 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

The falling tone of "maaaahhhsk" is what takes it from funny to brilliant.
posted by The Whelk at 1:12 PM on February 18, 2010

Now, hearing George Bush speak in tongues is as easy as randomly mashing my keyboard and clicking generate! What an age we live in!
posted by Bromius at 1:14 PM on February 18, 2010

So this could make Ebert sound like George Bush?
posted by boo_radley at 1:16 PM on February 18, 2010

George who?
posted by Phanx at 1:24 PM on February 18, 2010

He amusingly mispronounces "starvelings", if you make him sing the Internationale.
posted by bonecrusher at 1:24 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

I could do this all day.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 1:30 PM on February 18, 2010

But Bushisms were already way too easy! This is like sub-zero brow political humor.
posted by mccarty.tim at 1:30 PM on February 18, 2010

And just as effective as high brow political humor!
posted by The Whelk at 1:33 PM on February 18, 2010

This is like sub-zero brow political humor.

FATALITY
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:35 PM on February 18, 2010 [6 favorites]

Ha ha! Now that Obama has screwed up, Bush is funny again! 2005, good times, good times.
posted by dhartung at 1:37 PM on February 18, 2010

This is amazing.
posted by ph00dz at 1:40 PM on February 18, 2010

when everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
when everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
when all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
as by a shining brainless beacon
or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
when you are calm and joyful
and finally entirely alone
then in a great new darkness
you will finally execute your special plan...
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:50 PM on February 18, 2010

This is worth far more favorites than it has gathered so far. The opportunities for mischief here are incredible.

(puts on robe and goat skull headgear)

"UNHOLY DEMONS OF 4CHAN, I CALL YOU FORTH!"
posted by JHarris at 1:53 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

YOU FORGOT TO CAST PROTECTION FROM INTERWEBS! OH GOD THEY'RE COMING!
posted by The Whelk at 1:59 PM on February 18, 2010

Gah! I should have known not to cast from the Necronomicon without taking proper precautions!
posted by JHarris at 2:00 PM on February 18, 2010

what if indeed
posted by Optimus Chyme at 2:02 PM on February 18, 2010

Yo Barack
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:19 PM on February 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

The Chinaman is not the issue here.
posted by grubi at 2:59 PM on February 18, 2010

At least it's an ethos.
posted by grubi at 3:00 PM on February 18, 2010

You see, Larry?
posted by grubi at 3:03 PM on February 18, 2010

Woulda shoulda coulda:

The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa. Actually, that's some bullshit I made up. Therefore, I shall resign the Presidency effective at noon tomorrow.

posted by kirkaracha at 3:24 PM on February 18, 2010

Consequences of "Leave No Child Behind"
posted by aheckler at 3:35 PM on February 18, 2010

Obligatory link to RX's George Bush sample music
posted by davejay at 3:54 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Get funky.
posted by mintcake! at 3:58 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm for letting him know about the last election.
posted by Danf at 3:58 PM on February 18, 2010

I enjoy contributing to the death of my nation. I can only hope that you do too. I will never consider doing anything that would improve the lives of simple Americans. I am deeply humbled by the faith that corporate America has placed in me, and I will never sway from serving their interests.

I've been waiting so long to hear those exact words.
posted by anazgnos at 3:59 PM on February 18, 2010

George W. Bush takes a firm stand on the matter of education for South Africa and the Iraq.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 4:02 PM on February 18, 2010

Is there some reason you needed to tie this to Ebert? I might be a little overly touchy when it comes to dignity issues about the man, but I kind of think that framing is in poor taste.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:05 PM on February 18, 2010

The bit about CereProc putting together a custom speech synth thingie for Ebert was in the Esquire article, which was much-loved (by me as well). I don't think the mention in the OP was meant to be lulzy at all.
posted by mintcake! at 4:18 PM on February 18, 2010

Ah, thanks for that, mintcake!
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:19 PM on February 18, 2010

I couldn't resist.
posted by Minus215Cee at 4:34 PM on February 18, 2010

And now. An elegy for Snowball the cat.
posted by wabbittwax at 4:48 PM on February 18, 2010

And of course the words we've all wanted to hear for so long.
posted by wabbittwax at 4:59 PM on February 18, 2010

My rule for these things is always to see what it does with the first verse of Baby Got Back.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 4:59 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

This is great! Thanks for sharing!
posted by fiestapais at 5:24 PM on February 18, 2010

It was Bush who said this, right?
posted by milnak at 5:34 PM on February 18, 2010

ah, carp. The Winsome Parker Lewis beat me to it.
posted by milnak at 5:36 PM on February 18, 2010

It totally pronounces the word "fiddle" as "Fidel."
posted by griphus at 5:48 PM on February 18, 2010

Republicans With Attitudes
posted by DecemberBoy at 5:57 PM on February 18, 2010

Bush Sings Cannibal Corpse
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:01 PM on February 18, 2010

This is so wrong. I'm really sorry, I have a fever.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 6:37 PM on February 18, 2010

Lucille
posted by planetkyoto at 7:06 PM on February 18, 2010

Related: W's Duty [2MB mp3] by Jonathon Coulton.
posted by teraflop at 7:15 PM on February 18, 2010

biscotti started this.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:26 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe..." (Bonus: "shoulder of Orion" sounds like "shoulder of Iran."

"Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?"

"Sunday Bloody Sunday"
posted by kirkaracha at 9:47 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

I couldn't resist!
posted by SisterHavana at 10:03 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

George Bush talking about his butt
posted by anazgnos at 10:29 PM on February 18, 2010

thanks
posted by vantam at 12:27 AM on February 19, 2010

Hey thanks davejay, I've been looking for that RX music for a year!

-
posted by General Tonic at 7:12 AM on February 19, 2010

Kirkaracha, I didn't know that rx made a video for Sunday Bloody Sunday; thanks for sharing that.
posted by davejay at 10:42 AM on February 19, 2010

Coolio.

"I take one, one, one 'cause you left me...
posted by kirkaracha at 11:55 AM on February 19, 2010

I always knew he had it in him. That's one of the more interesting pronunciations of "Cthulhu" I've heard.
posted by JHarris at 7:01 PM on February 19, 2010

Roger demos his new voice.
posted by bonehead at 11:05 AM on March 2, 2010