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Georgia O'Keefe goes mixed-medium
February 25, 2010 9:54 PM   Subscribe

As if being rich and trashy weren't already enough work, now there's vajazzling, too. (NSFW)
posted by Jon_Evil (141 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
A case of life imitating art.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:59 PM on February 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


A little NSFW warning goes a long way.

Also, can somebody let me know when people stop using "vagina" as synonymous with "vulva" (or in this case, "general groin region"). Thanks.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:59 PM on February 25, 2010 [30 favorites]


I give up. I'm on my way Elizabeth. This is the big one...

::clutches chest::

::Falls to ground::

::dead::
posted by Splunge at 10:02 PM on February 25, 2010 [26 favorites]


I'm just going to sit here and hold my breath until the apparently arch but really desperately interested New York Times lifestyle piece appears.
posted by bicyclefish at 10:03 PM on February 25, 2010 [8 favorites]


I'm going to start a high-end dangly-bits-decorating salon, but when people come in I will instead take their money at gunpoint and krazy-glue their mouths shut and their hands to the backs of their heads. My aim is nothing short of the total extinction of Douchicus heyguyslookatmeus
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 10:05 PM on February 25, 2010 [4 favorites]


With the recent stories of whales and dolphins being killers just like us, it's nice to find something that truly distinguishes us from other species.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:06 PM on February 25, 2010 [15 favorites]


Also, can somebody let me know when people stop using "vagina" as synonymous with "vulva" (or in this case, "general groin region"). Thanks.

Quoted for FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY YES.

I was going to bitch about people who even usually are sticklers for anatomy and accuracy who still seem to have forgotten the world "vulva" and then somehow lead into a "slippery slope" reference, but gee, I wouldn't want to be vulgar...
posted by desuetude at 10:07 PM on February 25, 2010 [10 favorites]


It can only be a matter of time before someone bedazzles their arsehole. I wonder if whatever profession that is called will appear on "Dirty Jobs"? That would be great tv...
posted by awfurby at 10:07 PM on February 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


Well, you've got to do something. Not like there's much going on down there. And even with the jewels, what've you got? Once it's shaven smooth, looks like just another blank patch of skin.

Pajazzling – now that is something I'd like to see.
posted by koeselitz at 10:10 PM on February 25, 2010


> It can only be a matter of time before someone bedazzles their arsehole.

Well...


posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:11 PM on February 25, 2010


Also, can somebody let me know when people stop using "vagina" as synonymous with "vulva"

The academic linguist in me says "that's not how language works" but the comedy linguist in me says "do you really think vulvazzling sounds better than vajazzling????"
posted by ORthey at 10:11 PM on February 25, 2010 [10 favorites]


"Well I was totally up for it, but then she hadn't even Bedazzled her mons! Like, WTF, right?"
posted by Navelgazer at 10:12 PM on February 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


Vajazzling? That sounds interesting! I wonder what it is. I bet it's adorable.

*clicks link*

oh fuck my shit.
posted by shmegegge at 10:13 PM on February 25, 2010 [40 favorites]


If "vajazzling" gets to be a word, vajizzling does too. It's only fair. The proper assent to the proposed act of which is spoken "fashizzle vajizzle, my nizzle."
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:15 PM on February 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


I knew if I left it untreated long enough crusty genitalia would come into fashion!
posted by Abiezer at 10:16 PM on February 25, 2010 [20 favorites]


“Now the nice lady is gluing—literally gluing—the expensive crystals onto my pubis. Look at the precision with which she does this. She is a consummate craftswoman.”

No, I'm pretty sure a third-grader could do that with aplomb. The difference is that third graders usually have the sense to keep the glue stick off of their genitals.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 10:20 PM on February 25, 2010 [20 favorites]


One of those moments on MetaFilter where you're all, 'oh, please, don't let this be exactly what it appears to be.'
posted by voronoi at 10:20 PM on February 25, 2010 [23 favorites]


I was expecting the use of an actual Bedazzler.

ow ow ow ow ow
posted by dunkadunc at 10:21 PM on February 25, 2010


Monsazzling would be a more appropriate term. There is something about people misusing the medical term - if you are going to use the colloquial meaning of vagina, you could just use one of the colloquial synonyms, it isn't like there is a shortage or something. Cuntazzling or Hoohazzling anyone? Pussynalize your twizzat!
posted by idiopath at 10:23 PM on February 25, 2010 [14 favorites]


Really now, if she was that bored - wouldn't it have been a lot easier for everybody if instead she just set her money on fire?
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 10:24 PM on February 25, 2010 [6 favorites]


Okay, I'll ask. Why?
posted by P.o.B. at 10:28 PM on February 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


I await the inevitable Maury Povich episodes and youtube singles dedicated to your man coming home with jewels on his dick.
posted by graventy at 10:28 PM on February 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


actually, i think the creepiest part about the whole thing is the sign on the wall of the 'completely bare' salon with what looks like a 12-year-old girl.
posted by Jon_Evil at 10:28 PM on February 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


No, I'm pretty sure a third-grader could do that with aplomb.

I think you just invented macaroni vajazzling.
posted by Jon_Evil at 10:29 PM on February 25, 2010 [29 favorites]


I've been walkin' these streets so long
Singin' the same old song
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway
Where hustle's the name of the game
And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain
There's been a load of compromisin'
On the road to my horizon
But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me

Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone
posted by darkstar at 10:31 PM on February 25, 2010


I guess I better save up to get the new Vajazzler Barbie (TM) and Exxxtreme Body Mod Ken, complete with Tramp Stamp glue-on tats and Lawn Litter PBR bottles.
posted by yeloson at 10:31 PM on February 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Technically it's Mons Pubazzling.
posted by jimmythefish at 10:33 PM on February 25, 2010 [6 favorites]


I blame the fall of Western Civilization on this.
posted by b1tr0t at 10:34 PM on February 25, 2010 [4 favorites]


Honestly, you decided you wanted to go for the smooth approach, and then put speedbumps in. Make up your mind.
posted by pupdog at 10:34 PM on February 25, 2010 [7 favorites]


"I did it all for the nookie..... because DAmn theres diamons on that pussie!!! WOW L@@K at the jewel pussy, I never see one before and now this, heh im rich from pussy rubys bitchesssss!!! Bush Was Right" - Fred Durst
posted by Damn That Television at 10:35 PM on February 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


>: Exxxtreme Body Mod Ken

Is he one of those crazy, kooky types who, armed with nothing but BME, scissors, and a large helping of crazy, decides to sit down in his bathtub and attach a penis to his body?
posted by dunkadunc at 10:36 PM on February 25, 2010 [6 favorites]


Is he one of those crazy, kooky types who, armed with nothing but BME, scissors, and a large helping of crazy, decides to sit down in his bathtub and attach a penis to his body?

Made out of household silicone caulking no less.
posted by pupdog at 10:38 PM on February 25, 2010


Actually, I take back my question. It's obvious why, because she can. It's only a matter of time before skin grafted jewels and programmable tattoos are easily and widely available. There is something I do want to know. Why there?
posted by P.o.B. at 10:38 PM on February 25, 2010


This seems fine to me.
posted by drjimmy11 at 10:38 PM on February 25, 2010


she's a rich girl, she don't try to hide it
diamonds on the front of her cooze
he's a poor boy, empty as a pocket
empty as a pocket and nothing to lose,

sing ta-na-na (ta na-na)
ta-na-na, yeah
she got diamonds on the front of her cooze
ta-na-na (ta na-na)
ta-na-na, yeah
she got diamonds on the front of her cooze (a-wa a-wa)
diamonds on the front of her cooze (a-wa a-wa)...
posted by Jon_Evil at 10:39 PM on February 25, 2010 [29 favorites]


Meh, pretty unimpressive. My disco balls, on the other hand...
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:40 PM on February 25, 2010 [49 favorites]


This is so awesome. I've always wished that the female crotch was festooned with shiny jewels rather than all that coarse, crinkly hair.
posted by Flashman at 10:41 PM on February 25, 2010


This looks like a tacky logical move for the Ed Hardy/hood rat crowd.

Myself, I'll just dip my junk in glitter.
posted by porn in the woods at 10:41 PM on February 25, 2010 [5 favorites]


Why does this make me think of Sylvester McMonkey McBean, and his fabulous Star-On machine?
posted by nonliteral at 10:54 PM on February 25, 2010 [6 favorites]


Seems like more than a few steps down from clit clips.
posted by Clave at 11:05 PM on February 25, 2010


Of course they're Swarovski crystals. Yeesh.

Jon_Evil already made the Paul Simon reference so I'll just link to this scene from The American Astronaut.
posted by hattifattener at 11:05 PM on February 25, 2010 [4 favorites]




I'll just link to this scene from The American Astronaut

Man, I forgot about that movie! I can't remember if I loved it or hated it, though. But I had strong feelings.
posted by Jon_Evil at 11:16 PM on February 25, 2010


I don't know why you would link to a rather dull article on the topic when the actual video is so much more surreal. Jennifer Love Hewitt wearing... something... (I'M BLIND ALL I CAN SEE IS STRIPPER BOOTS) delivering an obviously rehearsed spiel about this chapter in her book to an obviously cue-reading George Lopez who also looks as if someone took a airbrush full of bronzer mixed with Grecian Formula and styling gel to him, and this chapter she's talking about is all about the Topic at Hand, of course, except that I'm all like "fuck the topic, now Jennifer Love Hewitt has written a fucking book?" I mean seriously.
posted by nanojath at 11:16 PM on February 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


What do you do when a conventionally attractive woman wearing a miniskirt, sitting a foot or so from you announces she has affixed jewels to her groin? Do you imagine what it looks like? Do you sneak a look at her crotch, and if you do, is it allowed in this case? Or do you blank out the image in your mind? Hewitt is actually inviting you to visualize her crotch. It breaks a few rules and is a little unsettling.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:22 PM on February 25, 2010


Bring on the togas and slaves and gladiators! Bring on the giant tub of grease and that head-chopping machine!
posted by stinkycheese at 11:32 PM on February 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


"have you just glued a bunch of shiny things to your pubic area, or is the high refractive index in that general region a consequence of biologically produced fluids, and a signifier of how happy you are to see me?"
posted by idiopath at 11:33 PM on February 25, 2010 [13 favorites]


Is it supposed to be sexy? Guys, do you think it's sexy? Women, does this seem at all appealing to you?

I'm proud to say my vagina and all surrounding areas are crystal-free. Go ahead and picture that if you like.
posted by too bad you're not me at 11:34 PM on February 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


so...now it's "ribbed for his pleasure"?
posted by sexyrobot at 11:37 PM on February 25, 2010


What do you do when...

The clever gentleman will profess disbelief.
posted by ryanrs at 11:37 PM on February 25, 2010 [7 favorites]


The history of the practice is actually quite fascinating; many mistake the name as a play on words but in fact the term is originally Scandinavian, named after Vidkun Vajasling, the notorious WWII collaborator. He appeared at a rally in full Nazi regalia, sporting a chest full of unearned medals and became known throughout Northern Europe as "that twinkling twat."
posted by Abiezer at 11:39 PM on February 25, 2010 [50 favorites]


Finally, the economy is turning around.
posted by TwelveTwo at 11:44 PM on February 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


Man, why does google allow you to filter adult images but not allow you to filter everything that's not an adult image.

Anyway, we don't really know what's going on in the actual vaginal area, we only see the pubic area in these pictures.
posted by delmoi at 11:50 PM on February 25, 2010


Well, there isn't much going on up top in either regards, so perhaps this is just what she needed to land that role in The Hills.
posted by june made him a gemini at 11:55 PM on February 25, 2010


Is it supposed to be sexy? Guys, do you think it's sexy?

It strikes me as being very … professional.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:57 PM on February 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


drugs
rock and roll
bad ass
vegas halls
late nights
booty calls
shiny disco balls vaj
posted by effugas at 11:58 PM on February 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


we only see the pubic area in these pictures

I'm going to go out on a limb and say they don't actually glue gems to the vulva.

I'm proud to say my vagina and all surrounding areas are crystal-free. Go ahead and picture that if you like.

Oh sure, and if I encouraged everyone to visualize my dick, like that would be okay? I'm calling reverse sexism on this trend.
posted by nanojath at 11:58 PM on February 25, 2010


This is really dumb.
posted by chillmost at 12:00 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


OK, well, I thought it was going to about making a bunch of seventh chords and syncopated rhythms come out of a vagina via improvisation.

So, this is actually less gross but more vapid.
posted by ignignokt at 12:09 AM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


nanojath: “I'm calling reverse sexism on this trend.”

Er... well, as much as I disdain the 'trend' (is it? hm) of requesting that others visualize one's nether parts in general – given the related precedents, it would seem that 'reverse sexism' is a rather unfortunate coinage, no?
posted by koeselitz at 12:14 AM on February 26, 2010


Finally, the economy is turning around.

Turning around, bending over, and showing us its diamond-encrusted platinum pucker.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:19 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Grinding during sex deserves another definition if you're a vajazzler. I just don't see this leading to hot blinged out bangin', not with abrasive little grits acting as the world's best pubic exfoliant. Who needs a loofa when your partner has vajazzled!
posted by far from gormless at 12:29 AM on February 26, 2010


Warning: May result in sparkle babies with vajazz hands.
posted by Awakened at 12:45 AM on February 26, 2010 [5 favorites]


I find this slightly hot. I would never ask anyone to do it for me, I don't need it, but if there was someone who decorated their junk for me I'd feel honored.

Goodness knows I've put in and taken out piercings for the sake of a lover.

I think a penis bedecked with edible make up might be more my speed, but honestly I will try anything twice. Some things I'll try over and over.

So put me down as one vote for 'this is fun and sexy and goofy and doesn't weird me out at all'.

(I'm a geeky bisexual man in San Francisco, for those wondering about the demographics.)
posted by poe at 12:51 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Actually I did find one pic on google image search where had actually stuck gems around the vulva (but I can't seem to find it any more)
posted by delmoi at 12:54 AM on February 26, 2010


Well, I was just discussing this week with someone how, to save the environment, we must move to a model of economic growth with decreased physical inputs (water, fuel, space) per unit of economic activity. And this kind of thing is how we do it!
posted by alasdair at 1:03 AM on February 26, 2010


so this is what happens here after midnight... I've been going to bed too early.....

hot glue gun? Just asking....
posted by HuronBob at 1:06 AM on February 26, 2010


Hey, Poe? I'm with you. I can't really think this is anything less than... kinda awesome.
posted by the_royal_we at 1:08 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'll just link to this scene from The American Astronaut

Man, I forgot about that movie! I can't remember if I loved it or hated it, though. But I had strong feelings.


It was round and soft.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:11 AM on February 26, 2010


Far from gormless-- I was thinking the same thing.

I wonder if, when you go in to have this done, you can ask for a particular grit size?

Because sometimes you're in a delicate mood-- like maybe you only want to do a minor touch-up on an already-finished surface. But every now and again you wake up and you're like, "Well hell, might as well get the rust off that goddamn propane tank today."
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:34 AM on February 26, 2010 [5 favorites]


Are Swarovski crystals even jewels? As far as I can tell they are high-priced cut glass. Wikipedia seems to tell me that jewels have to be gemstones, and glass is not a gemstone. Or did I just misunderstand since I'm not a native English speaker? I'm just trying to figure out the exact amount of tacky they're going for here...
posted by Harald74 at 1:44 AM on February 26, 2010


I don't usually respond to something I see on Metafilter like this, but:

What the fuck is wrong with people?!
posted by Ghidorah at 1:56 AM on February 26, 2010


Well played, Abiezer. Very well played, sir.
posted by smoke at 2:07 AM on February 26, 2010


Oh sure, and if I encouraged everyone to visualize my dick, like that would be okay? I'm calling reverse sexism on this trend.
I think you missed the part where she was making fun of Jennifer Love Hewitt.
posted by june made him a gemini at 2:10 AM on February 26, 2010


Jon_Evil: “Man, I forgot about that movie! I can't remember if I loved it or hated it, though. But I had strong feelings.”

It's awful. So you probably hated it. They didn't even use the awesome Mekons song, and I know it wasn't a copyright thing because the Mekons don't fucking roll that way - they would've given their permission in a heartbeat. So first I was let down because I didn't get to listen to the Mekons, then I continued to be let down by the relentlessly cool steampunk vibe and lack of anything really interesting going on. Ah well. I'm a curmudgeon.
posted by koeselitz at 2:18 AM on February 26, 2010


[Mekons, "Ghosts of American Astronauts"]
posted by koeselitz at 2:20 AM on February 26, 2010


Next - the mons mosaic. "Why yes, my bush is Byzantine. Thanks for noticing!"
posted by obiwanwasabi at 2:23 AM on February 26, 2010


Next - the mons mosaic

Actually, I'm expecting the typical 180-degree-veer from the previous generation's hang-ups, and we'll see it mandatory to have a bush you can lose a squirrel in. The hair club for mons, as it were.
posted by maxwelton at 3:28 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


Enamel Toe?
posted by longbaugh at 3:38 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


That looks to me like it would be quite uncomfortable during sex (unless you prefer your partner's pubis to be 80 grit, I suppose). But practicalities aside, and my intense dislike of the term "va-jay-jay" and all its derivatives aside as well, I'm all for people having more ways to decorate their bodies and have fun.

This strikes me as being more like body paint, makeup, or costume jewelry -- things that are fun and pretty, without any permanence or much cost. If I found the stick-on "jewels" for sale cheap, I'd absolutely buy them and have a fun afternoon making pretty patterns on my partner. Decoration and costumes are fun.
posted by Forktine at 3:56 AM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


I want to say this is just an updating of the Elizabeth Hurly sequinned pubic hair extensions rumor but honestly, who can tell anymore? Parody is dead, life is too absurd as it is.
posted by piratebowling at 4:25 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


I pass by that salon every day on my way to school. That entire block of Bond Street is an obnoxious paean to the more-money-than-sense lifestyle; witness, for instance, 40 Bond, with its huge aluminum gates "inspired by New York graffiti" that guard the $20 million apartments of inbred European fashion executives. That said executives have on-site access to vajazzling services is frankly unsurprising.
posted by saladin at 4:27 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Clitter seems easier to apply. (NSFW. May result in sparkle babies.)
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:31 AM on February 26, 2010 [5 favorites]


Bring on the togas and slaves and gladiators! Bring on the giant tub of grease and that head-chopping machine!

I'm Hedonismbot and I aprOOOve of this message!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:35 AM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


Okay, I'll ask. Why?

It occurs to me that some women might do this to provide an alternative form of cover-up now that fur is no longer in fashion. The first time I got a look at myself after going completely bare, I know I was taken aback. If a patch of crotch glitter had been available to me at that moment, I might have slapped it on to replace my lost badge of sexual maturity.
posted by timeo danaos at 4:52 AM on February 26, 2010


May I suggest for anyone having this done to themselves, or, indeed, for anyone doing this to someone else:

GET A FUCKING REAL JOB!!! DO SOMETHING OF VALUE IN YOUR LIFE!!



Thank you all for your time.
posted by pompomtom at 5:10 AM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


At least her desperate attempt to stay young doesn't involve shoving a sweet potato in there. Or cancer.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 5:46 AM on February 26, 2010


You certainly can't question her commitment to Sparkle Motion.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:50 AM on February 26, 2010 [17 favorites]




What do you do when a conventionally attractive woman wearing a miniskirt, sitting a foot or so from you announces she has affixed jewels to her groin?

You immediately cease repairing her cable television.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:54 AM on February 26, 2010 [24 favorites]


On one hand I'm tempted to believe this is an extraordinary hoax meant to whip the blogosphere up into it's usual frenzy. But then again, people never cease to amaze with their stupidity.

Personally I'll take talent over spectacle. Plain with skills beats the hell out of a glittering array of sandpaper-like stones any day.

Can you imagine the urologist that discovers one of those embedded somewhere painfully unpleasant? I believe the term 'face palm' doesn't even come close to expressing the rueful disappointment in their patient. But then again, it'd keep 'em employed, right?
posted by wkearney99 at 5:55 AM on February 26, 2010


I will never understand what makes swarovski so valuable. But it's fun to think of the occasions where these things will be frantically hunted down in the back seats and sofa cushions of those not wishing to kiss and tell, or lose something of great perceived value.

Vajazzling: coming soon to a divorce deposition near you.
posted by drowsy at 6:25 AM on February 26, 2010


@Jon_Evil. sweet title btw.
posted by drowsy at 6:25 AM on February 26, 2010


My first thought was this was ridiculously, appallingly decadent, but you know...what makes it so different from piercings or tattoos? Other than it's not permanent and it's almost definitely cheaper. I think it could be very uncomfortable for her partner, however.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:37 AM on February 26, 2010


This broke my brain. I'm going back to the Daily Bunny.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:39 AM on February 26, 2010


my intense dislike of the term "va-jay-jay" and all its derivatives aside as well

I like believing that the term is of Spanish origin, and thus is correctly pronounced "va-hey-hey", of course. Still stupid, but slightly more humorous, somehow.
posted by explosion at 6:45 AM on February 26, 2010


You know, if I ever found myself in any kind of intimate situation with Jennifer Love Hewitt, and on sliding my hand into her underwear encountered Swarovski crystals, the first thing I would think is "what the fuck is this?"

The second thing I would think is "how the hell did I find myself in an intimate situation with Jennifer Love Hewitt?"


Also, aren't Swarovski crystals lead-based? Is that really the kind of thing you want adorning your vulva?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:45 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


At first I likened this to tattoos and piercings, so when I read the comments as if the topic *was* common tattoos and piercings, it made Metafilter seem like it was populated by sixty year old conservative prudes.
posted by rocket88 at 6:46 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


Okay, I'll ask. Why?

I am a professional vajazzler. Let me address some of the questions in this thread:




Nah I'm just fucking with you. But this comment should go in the sidebar anyway.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:56 AM on February 26, 2010 [12 favorites]


I think I'm going to make "I encourage everyone to visualize my dick" my new comeback of choice.
posted by bibliowench at 7:07 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


I assume assjazzling or jassling is next.
posted by jonmc at 7:12 AM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


Technically it's Mons Pubazzling.

Isn't that a famous Martian landmark?
posted by octobersurprise at 7:21 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Cloisonné - the only way to go from here...
posted by pupdog at 7:22 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


I can't click on this because I'm at work, but visually speculating on what's on the other side of this post is disturbing me.
posted by HumanComplex at 7:31 AM on February 26, 2010


I will soon be opening a trade school to instruct the underemployed in the lucrative craft of vajazzling. Your student loan will be paid off in no time! Surely this is what Dr. Suess was thinking when he wrote Oh! The Places You'll Go.
posted by Daddy-O at 7:36 AM on February 26, 2010


I saw this on the TeeVee while running on the treadmill. The great thing about watching TeeVee while running on the treadmill is that you watch stuff you mightn't ordinarily.
posted by Mister_A at 7:37 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


This just in: next door to the vajazzler, a boutique specializing in merkin jewelry.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 7:43 AM on February 26, 2010


I think that this is stupid because it will inevitably end with the vajazzled one trying to explain why shiny glass beads are falling out of the bottom of her pants legs, but I say this as one who has contemplated the possibilities of using genital piercings as a place to hang amusing fridge magnets from.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:48 AM on February 26, 2010


I know less about this than you can possibly imagine.
posted by Babblesort at 8:01 AM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


Oh thank goodness, Fabergé Penis has a google search result. I was hoping that idea didn't exist only in the fetid basement of my mind.
posted by FatherDagon at 8:11 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is it supposed to be sexy? Guys, do you think it's sexy?

Coals to Newcastle.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:21 AM on February 26, 2010


I'm proud to say my vagina and all surrounding areas are crystal-free. Go ahead and picture that if you like.

so ... are you doing anything tomorrow?
posted by i'm offended you're offended at 8:31 AM on February 26, 2010


But how pretty will it be when the inevitable return of the natural forestation starts? (Also see: pubic hair dye, pubic hair stencils-eg:having the pubes waxed into the shape of a heart, little devil horns etc., anal bleaching and cosmetic surgery to have your vulva rejuvenated.)
posted by Wendy BD at 8:32 AM on February 26, 2010


So, you wax everything off to provide a smooth canvas for the mons-razzle-dazzle. So...what happens when the hair starts growing back? Ugh, what a mess that sounds like with crystals and stubble.
posted by desuetude at 8:34 AM on February 26, 2010


But how pretty will it be when the inevitable return of the natural forestation starts?

I hadn't thought of this. You can't exactly wax/shave/whatever when you're covered in monsbling. I can only conclude that this trend is from the devilish minds of the people at the Nair corporation.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:35 AM on February 26, 2010


I always snigger at the ultra-feminists who do workshops where they make clay vagina sculptures to show how much they love/accept their bodies. But. Now women are expected to shave, have surgery on, and now, bejewel their girly-bits? No. just No.
posted by theora55 at 8:40 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


In 2011, we might see an article in Make magazine where you start with fifty LEDs (assorted colors) and a 330 uF capacitor.
posted by kurumi at 8:44 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Don't try to board a plane at Logan with that rig on, kurumi.
posted by Mister_A at 8:47 AM on February 26, 2010


So...what happens when the hair starts growing back?

Carousel.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:56 AM on February 26, 2010 [6 favorites]


I'm so stoked...i saw this a few weeks ago and bet several friends that vajazzle would enter the vernacular before this summer. To celebrate, i'm gonna indulge in some manscaping.
posted by OHenryPacey at 9:31 AM on February 26, 2010


Okay I've got another one - Bejewelled Clitz.

I'll get back to you as soon as I can. I'm doing the top ten for Letterman in another window.
posted by longbaugh at 10:04 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Jesus
here's some answers:

it feels quite kinky actually, it's not grit-like at all, the profile is not high enough for them to rub in anything other than an interesting way against my partner's parts.

For fun.

No there is no stubble/gltizy bits because they tend to wash off over about a week in the shower, before the stubble comes in.

Since they individually are so tiny, on the odd occasion they've come off on my smalls but they've never "fell out of" my trousers!!

IANA a pro, I'm certainly not cheap, and I'm only trashy when I try really, really hard.

And while not in the least surprised at the kinds of comment above I can't believe this is news, I first had it done in good old Dublin 5 years ago. I don't believe it's recent to NYC.
I no longer do it as the daughter's College fees take every spare penny and the kinds of parties where it was a good idea have had to be rationed also.

I recall is walking into the Hairy Lemon pub on Lower Mercer St at lunchtime only to be marched into the loo to be shown's Grainne's newest designs. Good times!
posted by Wilder at 10:06 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


I do have to agree with several other straight up members (snicker) however. The vajayjay is already a sacred grove of wonder and happenis (rofl).

As I get older I care less and less about making the lady-part into some sort of perfect thing. Surgery to fix excess labia, sparkling pubis, artistically trimmed pubic hair, assbleaching or whatever. It's all a waste of time. As a straight male who is sexually active, I'm pretty much all set to be going there anyway. Adding runway lights or a neon all-you-can-eat sign is going to make no difference to me whatsoever. Believe me, there really isn't a place I'd rather be*.



*applies only to current partner unless cards have been played correctly and I have got two of a kind, if you smell what the rock is cooking...
posted by longbaugh at 10:14 AM on February 26, 2010


Who gives a shit what other people do with their junk? I'm afraid I'm going to have to come down on the "let your freak flag fly, even if people think it's weird" bandwagon. Sorry team. But I do have to add this link, for the ladies and guy-loving guys. nsfw, natch.
posted by jessamyn at 10:22 AM on February 26, 2010 [6 favorites]


jessamyn: "I do have to add this link"

nyarlacock! Anything having to do with the genitals is just too easy to make light of, but yeah, whatever, let your freak flag fly, don't assume I judge in my jest.
posted by idiopath at 10:27 AM on February 26, 2010


Wait until Sarah Haskins gets ahold of this!
posted by sourwookie at 11:18 AM on February 26, 2010


This thread has some of the funniest comments I've seen in a while. I think I might have worn out my mouse button adding favorites.

But with that said, I gotta second those who are saying "Who gives a shit what other people do with their junk?" I'd be delighted by this if I were to discover it on my lover -- it strikes me as just a one-off fun and crazy thing to do. I would never, however, tell anyone they should do it or make it seem as though I expect it to be done.

We only wear these shells once, and they're the only thing we truly own in this world (notwithstanding centuries of effort in some parts of the world to deny people -- particularly women -- ownership of their bodies.) So bling em out; paint them; ink them; pierce them; ne'er brandish scissors or blade against any hair; or stay smooth as a piece of quartz all over. Who cares? As long as it's your choice, have fun with it.
posted by lord_wolf at 11:35 AM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


Who gives a shit what other people do with their junk?

But it's the internet.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:41 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


Crystal Cooter!

Gemjina!

Sparkle Pocket!
posted by sexyrobot at 11:44 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


I only have two things to add,

Eldridge Cleaver pants & dingleberries
posted by pianomover at 12:18 PM on February 26, 2010


That's my girl, Bryce! And I assure you that she's just as cool in person.

This article's pictures were lifted from her article on The Luxury Spot.
posted by TheNakedPixel at 12:50 PM on February 26, 2010


I'll sit this fad out and wait till taint frescoes become fashionable.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:57 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


they make female journalists do the dumbest shit

hey guys remember when ted koppel showed us his weinis on nightline and it had a tattoo of the quayle-bentsen debate
posted by Optimus Chyme at 1:08 PM on February 26, 2010


and she was spinning like a disco ball girl
Whoooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- David Garza
posted by djduckie at 1:27 PM on February 26, 2010


Twinkle Twat!

Glamour Gulch!

Snazzatch!
posted by sexyrobot at 1:59 PM on February 26, 2010


Vajazzling: The Video (Vajideo?)
posted by P.o.B. at 2:09 PM on February 26, 2010


they make female journalists do the dumbest shit

Yeah, I dunno that Bryce Gruber is reaching for Edward R. Murrow status here.

I don't know that I said this right above, but basically my initial thought was that this must cost an exorbitant amount of money, and was therefore sort of Caligula and gaudy. My initial thought was formed when I read, with no little interest, Jennifer Love Hewitt's comments in an article I saw a couple of weeks ago. But looking at it, this really seems to be costume jewelry, not a lot different from getting a henna tattoo or something, and I just don't see what the big deal is. It doesn't seem especially trashy, could be kinda cute (if one were so inclined!), though I'm not sure why you would want a sparkly approximation of pubic hair when, well, you could just have pubic hair. It's free!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:08 PM on February 26, 2010


this is highly silly but if I still went to burning man it would have to be considered....
posted by supermedusa at 9:18 PM on February 26, 2010


First thought: New Marvel Comics movie franchise opportunity!

Second thought: Damn, Disney bought Marvel. No chance now.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 3:31 PM on February 27, 2010


"Below the waist, though, it was the worst; for here all human resemblance left off and sheer phantasy began." -H. P. Lovecraft, The Dunwich Horror
posted by stammer at 4:35 PM on February 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


William Gibson's response:

Case considered the diamante sub-dermal implants studding her pubis. "Meh," he said.
posted by b1tr0t at 9:15 AM on February 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


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