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Japanese pro team football teams versus 100 schoolboys.
March 15, 2010 8:30 AM   Subscribe

We previously debated How many five year olds could you take in a fight? - mefi discussion. Now in a related event professional J. League football team Cerezo Osaka take on a team of 100 Japanese primary school children.
Part 1 (including pre-match analysis in Japanese - kick off at 5 min 50) Part 2 Part 3.

There was a winner - but who?! Direct links to the goals 1 2 3 4 5
posted by therubettes (48 comments total) 39 users marked this as a favorite

 
As soon as I saw We previously debated How many five year olds could you take in a fight?, and then that there were videos, I literally yelped "Yes!", and clicked through without reading anything else. I was a bit disappointed I wasn't seeing a fight (I was guessing it was Nerf'd up or something), but this is pretty great. Thanks!
posted by floam at 8:36 AM on March 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


I fucking love Japan.
posted by weezy at 8:40 AM on March 15, 2010


Don't jump directly to 5:50 for the kick-off - the lineup of the teams at 4:50 onwards is priceless.
posted by brokkr at 8:40 AM on March 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


We all win, dude. We all win.
posted by Madamina at 8:40 AM on March 15, 2010 [4 favorites]


OK. Can someone explain to me what these boxes are with people's faces I see on all these clips of Japanese TV shows? Are they the hosts, or what? It doesn't look like they're the ones talking, but I really don't know what is being said. It's so weird.
posted by floam at 8:41 AM on March 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


Awesome. I love it.
posted by salmacis at 8:42 AM on March 15, 2010


Obligatory!
posted by cazoo at 8:44 AM on March 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


ha ha ha ha ha ha ha this rules
posted by Damn That Television at 8:45 AM on March 15, 2010


It looks like all the players are really enjoying themselves; fun post!
posted by Mister_A at 8:46 AM on March 15, 2010


Can someone explain to me what these boxes are with people's faces I see on all these clips of Japanese TV shows? Are they the hosts, or what? It doesn't look like they're the ones talking, but I really don't know what is being said. It's so weird.

I am not a Japanese person, but apparently the faces in the boxes are celebrity panelists that just sit and watch along with the audience. They are on-screen all the time so you know how they are reacting and/or so you know how you are supposed to react yourself. Tim Rogers hates them.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:47 AM on March 15, 2010


If you look at the pre-match diagrams, it turns out that the 100 kids are assigned 10 to each position in a classic 4-3-3 position, so there's method to the madness. I like how they simply swarm the senior players on the corners, hemming in the goalie so he can't move at all. Conversely the Osakans' only real chance is high, long balls because they simply can't dribble their way through the throngs.

Great post.
posted by brokkr at 8:49 AM on March 15, 2010 [2 favorites]


floam: This is the answer I got when I asked a year ago.
posted by ODiV at 8:58 AM on March 15, 2010


Watching the adults celebrate a goal - I mean yeah you are playing against 100 kids, but still, dude, you are celebrating getting a goal against kids.
posted by idiopath at 9:03 AM on March 15, 2010


Great stuff. When I watched the start of the match, I figured 0-0. No way the kids can score and there's too many of them to get past for the pros. Wrong.

I didn't think the corner kicks would be cause the pros so much trouble, but it makes sense. Some good crosses from the kids' winger.

I figured if the pros scored it would be due to bad mistakes by the kids, which happened, but on the last goal, it looks like the kids just got tired at the end. On a smaller field, the pros would have more trouble.

These kids are also pretty good for "primary school." What does that mean. 10-12?
posted by mrgrimm at 9:09 AM on March 15, 2010


I've always wanted to see this done with American Football. Imagine what a blitz would look like - insanity!
posted by Think_Long at 9:10 AM on March 15, 2010 [4 favorites]


Closer than I thought, and I'm actually surprised the adults won. I thought the kids would, like, plant 40 of themselves in the box, and nothing could ever get in. I bet if you gave the kids more practice time working as an actual group of 100, you'd never beat them with 10 guys.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:16 AM on March 15, 2010


They should do this with hockey.*


*No, they really, really should not.
posted by Mister_A at 9:16 AM on March 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


you are celebrating getting a goal against kids

Those kids could beat you and me. (Or maybe just me.) It's one thing if you're playing against random kids, but if they're all little Japanese Freddy Adus or something ...

Once you've agreed to participate in the ridiculous affair, you pretty much have to give it your all. The only reason it works is that both sides are trying their best.

I've always wanted to see this done with American Football.

...

They should do this with hockey.

Let them play!
posted by mrgrimm at 9:18 AM on March 15, 2010


I've always wanted to see this done with American Football. Imagine what a blitz would look like - insanity!

In my imagination, it would be hilarious.

In reality, it would probably end in fatalities.
posted by moonbiter at 9:19 AM on March 15, 2010


I would watch the hell out of soccer if it was always like this.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:21 AM on March 15, 2010 [4 favorites]


In reality, it would probably end in fatalities.

Glorious fatalities.
posted by Think_Long at 9:29 AM on March 15, 2010 [7 favorites]


I wonder if they're the same team who played with binoculars strapped to their heads
posted by Jon_Evil at 9:33 AM on March 15, 2010 [7 favorites]


Soccer would be greatly improved if they just learned how to block.
posted by Bonzai at 9:34 AM on March 15, 2010


Those were some really good kids. Scissor kicks, well executed dribbling, well done passes... the lot.
posted by Catfry at 9:35 AM on March 15, 2010


Great post
posted by KokuRyu at 9:39 AM on March 15, 2010


I'm delighted people enjoyed the post. My second in just over 2 years!

The positive comments will encourage me to contribute more.
posted by therubettes at 9:49 AM on March 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


All that swarming kicked my Smash TV instincts into overdrive.
posted by prinado at 9:56 AM on March 15, 2010 [5 favorites]




That was fucking amazing! Where did they find the kids? They played really well so I guess they must have selected them among the best of their age or something?
posted by sveskemus at 10:09 AM on March 15, 2010


Watching the adults celebrate a goal - I mean yeah you are playing against 100 kids, but still, dude, you are celebrating getting a goal against kids.

Well, they did only just make it back up to J1 at the end of last season.
posted by emmling at 10:10 AM on March 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


That was awesome. Player #42 on the kids' side (with the yellow spikes) was a standout.
posted by MegoSteve at 10:51 AM on March 15, 2010


This is totally what MLS should do if we end up with a players' strike.
posted by nickmark at 10:58 AM on March 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


Excellent.
posted by rbs at 11:40 AM on March 15, 2010


That number 42 was pretty legit.
posted by timdicator at 11:47 AM on March 15, 2010


Its a pity they didn't allow them to have ten goalies as well.
posted by dng at 12:56 PM on March 15, 2010 [2 favorites]


> Watching the adults celebrate a goal - I mean yeah you are playing against 100 kids, but still, dude, you are celebrating getting a goal against kids.

It's basic respect. If you don't celebrate you're effectively denigrating your opponent.

> I thought the kids would, like, plant 40 of themselves in the box, and nothing could ever get in.

The main advantage for the pros is that they are quite a bit taller than the kids. This makes it obvious that even if the kids just throw everybody into their own penalty area, they are vulnerable to high crosses and long shots.

The kids' keeper impressed me - he didn't flinch even though the pros didn't exactly pull their shots.

> Where did they find the kids? They played really well so I guess they must have selected them among the best of their age or something?

I understand zero Japanese (som så mange andre danskere), but from the pre-match part of the show I gleaned that they were selected from a number of clubs.
posted by brokkr at 2:13 PM on March 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


(som så mange andre danskere)

Oh no, not another one!
posted by Catfry at 2:20 PM on March 15, 2010


(som så mange andre danskere)

Oh no, not another one!


Oh shit. Does that mean we have to have another meetup?
posted by sveskemus at 2:28 PM on March 15, 2010


Check my location. The beer's better be good if I'm to partake in a CPH meetup.
posted by brokkr at 3:01 PM on March 15, 2010


This is why we have the offside rule. Without it teams could legitimately field 100 players and swarm the penalty area.
posted by tigrefacile at 3:25 PM on March 15, 2010


Is it wrong for me to secretly wish that Vinnie Jones was on the adult team?
posted by MegoSteve at 4:45 PM on March 15, 2010


That was amazing and hilarious! Both because of seeing what happens when you sic a hundred little kids on a professional soccer team, and because both sides were having so much fun. The kids because they got to meet some of their heroes - and not just that; they got to challenge them! And then the pros because they got a different kind of challenge - plus hanging out with a bunch of adoring kids can't be bad for your day.

Number 42 was a standout - the way he dribbled his way past two of the pros was damn impressive. Very nice to see that the pros were praising him for his skills.

Now I want to see more kids swarming adult pros like army ants! (As long as the adults can be as good sports about it as the Osakans were.)
posted by harujion at 6:33 PM on March 15, 2010


This is great. I immediately thought that I'd love to see this brought to the US and made into a sports/reality miniseries of some kind (like Shaq Vs.), with vast numbers of kinds taking on a variety of pro teams, but it quickly occured to me that soccer is the only sport this would work with. In American football and hockey the violence would result in dead children; in basketball the height differential would render the kids' advantage meaningless; and baseball presents several problems -- numbers would not be an advantage on offense (unless the kids got 30 outs per half-inning or something, which would be mind-numbingly boring), and I suspect the skill differential in pitching would be too vast -- heck, college athletes can barely compete against the pros in baseball.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:08 PM on March 15, 2010


I wonder if they're the same team who played with binoculars strapped to their heads

Have a favorite for making my wife laugh so hard she almost cried.
posted by chrisamiller at 9:01 PM on March 15, 2010


I like how corner kick appears to have been borrowed into Japanese.
posted by chorltonmeateater at 11:34 PM on March 15, 2010


Can someone explain to me what these boxes are with people's faces I see on all these clips of Japanese TV shows? Are they the hosts, or what? It doesn't look like they're the ones talking, but I really don't know what is being said. It's so weird.

I once a friend who has a Japanese wife about this... "Forget it, FS. It's Japan."
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:30 AM on March 16, 2010


Right about when they lined up in a 40-30-30 formation I started laughing, and didn't stop until it was over. This is awesome, thanks for the post.
posted by Errant at 12:13 PM on March 16, 2010


There is nothing about this that I don't love.
posted by churl at 3:55 PM on March 16, 2010


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