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March 31, 2010 9:31 AM

160 Greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes (SLYT)
posted by fearfulsymmetry (74 comments total)

Please tell me "Stick around" from Predator is in here. PLEASE.
posted by elder18 at 9:38 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm playing Arnie Quotations Bingo. Join in!

Rules:
Pick nine Arnie quotations at random
Start the video
Post the time in the video at which you jump up and shout Bingo! (thus disturbing your colleagues)
posted by djgh at 9:43 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

i.e. he's said all nine
posted by djgh at 9:43 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Plo chops."
posted by infinitywaltz at 9:43 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

OMG, what movie was the "Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers" line from?
posted by Squid Voltaire at 9:44 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Obligatory.
posted by jquinby at 9:45 AM on March 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

It's nawt a tuma!
posted by xorry at 9:46 AM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

Challenge - Find something he says (in a movie) that's not great.
posted by 2bucksplus at 9:47 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Line for line, I would have to submit that Commando is the quintessential Schwarzenegger quotable movie.
posted by jabberjaw at 9:47 AM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

Into da boat! Into da tunnel! Get to da choppa!
posted by uncleozzy at 9:48 AM on March 31, 2010 [5 favorites]

That man is a national treasure.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 9:51 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

That man is a national treasure.

Actually, he's an Austrian treasure. Nicholas Cage is a national treasure.
posted by DU at 9:52 AM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

these people need air, now!
posted by cell divide at 9:54 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Celebrating the finest actor of our generation"

Not "one of the finest", "the finest". I just hope Stallone isn't too heartbroken to hear that he didn't make the top spot.
posted by quin at 9:54 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

No "clever girl" makes me sad.
posted by cashman at 9:56 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

If you are stuck to place any (and shame on you if you are, because clearly you should have memorised them all by now) then there's a pretty comprehensive overview here. (Instead of boring old IMDB)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:02 AM on March 31, 2010

ARNOLD: "You wanna be a farmer?"
*ARNOLD KICKS GUY IN THE BALLS*
ARNOLD: "Here's a couple of acres!"
posted by bjork24 at 10:05 AM on March 31, 2010 [7 favorites]

WELL I HOPE YOU LEFT ENOUGH ROOM FOR MY RUNNING MAN QUOTE BECAUSE I'M GOING TO RAM IT INTO YOUR YOUTUBE MONTAGE
posted by cortex at 10:09 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

OMG, what movie was the "Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers" line from?

Last Action Hero. Which also has my personal favorite quote, "It is a beautiful day, and we are out killing drug dealers." How could that one not make the cut?
posted by Aznable at 10:09 AM on March 31, 2010

This has inspired me to finally get around to watching some 80s Schwarzenegger movies that I've never seen...Commando, Raw Deal, The Running Man, Red Heat. I predict much so-bad-it's-good-ness.
posted by aerotive at 10:14 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

They caught a train.
posted by battlebison at 10:14 AM on March 31, 2010

Line for line, I would have to submit that Commando is the quintessential Schwarzenegger quotable movie.

Second. Predator and Running Man are close seconds. Great link.
posted by tiger yang at 10:14 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

IT'S NOT A TUMAH
posted by ALongDecember at 10:16 AM on March 31, 2010

They missed a great one though, from Red Sonja:

Arnold (after kissing Sonya): "Prepared to be conquered"
posted by tiger yang at 10:17 AM on March 31, 2010

Watching this reminds me I've never actually got around to seeing all of Junior, Jingle All The Way and Batman & Robin... though I'm not sure the pain would be worth catching up with them.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:21 AM on March 31, 2010

MEETING ADJOURNED
posted by Scoo at 10:21 AM on March 31, 2010

The Gateway calls still get me. Especially the first-one, when he says, "My CPU is a neural-net processor, a learning computer." The woman's reaction is hilarious.

In the 3rd call, to tech support, I can't believe that the guy just stays on for so long asking what the problem with the computer is, even after he figures out that its just film quotes. That's what I call dedicated customer service!
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:26 AM on March 31, 2010

As a California native, my all-time favorite quote from Arnold Schwarzenegger quote actually comes from one of his political speeches; after a disastrous special election on several ballot measures that he was pushing (none of which actually passed), he said, "If I would do another 'Terminator' movie, I would have Terminator travel back in time and tell Arnold not to have a special election." It was awesome.
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:28 AM on March 31, 2010 [6 favorites]

DANA! JUMP! DADDEH WILL CATCH YOOOOUUU
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 10:32 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

What, no "knives and stabbing weapons" ?!
posted by asfuller at 10:34 AM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

ROFL. This is almost as good as the David Caruso one-liners.
posted by The Fly at 10:35 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

One...two...yes, there ah four of dem.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:35 AM on March 31, 2010

Don't forget that Arnold is very quotable outside the movies as well. Here are a few choice selections:

"I have inhaled, exhaled everything."

"I have a love interest in every one of my films - a gun."

"I just use my muscles as a conversation piece, like someone walking a cheetah down 42nd Street."

"Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million."

"My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it."

"Ninety-five percent of the people in the world need to be told what to do and how to behave."

"The best activities for your health are pumping and humping."

"I like the color red because it's a fire. And I see myself as always being on fire."

"To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say, Don't be economic girlie men!"

"[Running for governor] is the most difficult [decision] I've made in my entire life, except the one I made in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax."

"From the time they get up in the morning and flush the toilet, they're taxed. Then they go and get the cup of coffee, they're taxed....This goes on all day long. Tax, tax, tax."

posted by brain_drain at 10:38 AM on March 31, 2010 [11 favorites]

Commando may be the perfect movie.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:46 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

"I just use my muscles as a conversation piece, like someone walking a cheetah down 42nd Street."

That's brilliant!
posted by brundlefly at 10:51 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

By the way, this man is in charge of an economy larger than Brazil, Russia or Canada.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:59 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

God he was awful in that Batman movie.
posted by GuyZero at 11:01 AM on March 31, 2010

Up and AT THEM! oh wait.
posted by A dead Quaker at 11:10 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Where's the one about him staying out of Hollywood while he was governer? Oh right.
posted by Big_B at 11:20 AM on March 31, 2010

Awesome, but they didn't have my favorite quote "I killed you".
posted by parallax7d at 11:22 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Live with me if you want to come!"
posted by sourwookie at 11:23 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Jesus. He's a bigger ham than Pacino or Shatner.

I've been hearing people impersonating Arnold giving a blow job lately. It's mostly consists of gagging sound, which they somehow make Arnold-like (Gggawgh ga ga gaagghhhaahlll) interspersed with cries of "Dohn't shuut it in my faace!" Done in his voice, it's very, very funny.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:24 AM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

Awesome...the only line missing was "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"
posted by vito90 at 11:27 AM on March 31, 2010

Up and AT THEM! oh wait.

I always wondered why they never had Arnold actually do the voice over of President Schwarzenegger in the Simpsons movie.
The movie character pretty much just sounded like a slightly-different Ranier Wolfcastle
Either that or they should have made the character President Wolfcastle.

_/derail
posted by bitteroldman at 11:27 AM on March 31, 2010

^ I think he's prevented from doing movies while Guv'nah of California.

By the way, he won't be Guv'nah much longer, and I'm looking forward to him -er- acting once again.

The odd thing is, Arnold is very intelligent - it's hard to see in his action movies, but even with his missteps as Guv'nah and his shit-talking the Legislature, you can tell he's actually pretty clever.

The #1 Arnie movie you have to see, but most people haven't seen, is Pumping Iron with Lou Ferrigno. Fantastic.
posted by jabberjaw at 11:41 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

good lord....I normally hate prank phone calls, but those Gateway bits are killin' me.
posted by the bricabrac man at 11:46 AM on March 31, 2010

I have to say, his line reading of "It's not a tumah" is much better than I remembered it. He just kills it.

"It's not a tumah! It's not a tuah ... at all."
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:02 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

I guess the fact that I couldn't make it more than 1/4 the way through that explains why I don't see a lot of Schwarzenegger films.
posted by weston at 12:36 PM on March 31, 2010

I guess the fact that I couldn't make it more than 1/4 the way through that explains why I don't see a lot of Schwarzenegger films.

How does it feel to be dead inside?
posted by eyeballkid at 12:53 PM on March 31, 2010 [9 favorites]

Next time I'm in Austria and someone starts giving me crap for being American, I'm going to remind them that the biggest ugliest American of them all is actually Austrian.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:05 PM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

My favorites:

"You're luggage."

"I need a vacation!"

"There IS no bathroom!"

"I'm the party pooper."
posted by bearwife at 1:05 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Every now and then I'll be doing something; making a sandwich, doing laundry, whatever...and I'll spontaneously remember that Schwarzenegger is the Governor of frikkin California. And I smile, because I know there's still a chance that I'm living in a fantastical alternate universe and my magic powers could kick in any day now and my unicorn could arrive bearing cupcakes at any moment.
posted by JoanArkham at 1:10 PM on March 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

I could have sworn there was a quote in Commando that I remember as being the cheesiest, most quintessentially Ahnold line: "He lost his head."

But it wasn't in there and google give me no clues. Could I be thinking of Rainier Wolfcastle?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:46 PM on March 31, 2010

"You're luggage."

Was that in there? I watched the whole thing, but I don't remember it being included. (I might need to get my brains checked.)
posted by hot soup girl at 2:11 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

and I'll spontaneously remember that Schwarzenegger is the Governor of frikkin California.

And Jesse Ventura was the Gov. of Minnesota. Now we just need a way to get Carl Weathers into office and we'll finally have a nation prepared to defend ourselves from a Predator hunt.
posted by quin at 2:39 PM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

Pixar's 'The Terminator'.
posted by ericb at 2:43 PM on March 31, 2010

"I could have sworn there was a quote in Commando that I remember as being the cheesiest, most quintessentially Ahnold line: 'He lost his head.' "

Don't know about Commando but it's a line in Speed.
posted by Mitheral at 2:49 PM on March 31, 2010

"You're luggage."

Was that in there?

Yes, right after he shoots the alligator. (And I loved it when I saw it in the movie too.)
posted by bearwife at 2:52 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Don't know about Commando but it's a line in Speed.

Which is a goddam shame, because it's not nearly as good as the making-the-same-joke exchange that preceded it:

Hopper: "I'm smarter than you!"
Hopper's head gets sheared off by low clearance in subway tunnel.
Keanu: "Yeah, well I'm taller."
posted by cortex at 2:55 PM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

BTW, Arnie has a movie this summer: The Expendables (With Stallone, Jet Li, Bruce Willis and Jason Statham)
posted by eyeballkid at 3:50 PM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

Now we just need a way to get Carl Weathers into office and we'll finally have a nation prepared to defend ourselves from a Predator hunt.

Put this picture on a gubernatorial campaign photo and he'd cruise to victory.

With Stallone, Jet Li, Bruce Willis and Jason Statham

And Mickey Rourke, Dolph Ludgren, and Steve Austin. "This movie is so manly it will grow hair on your chest then shave it off to look more ripped."
posted by kirkaracha at 4:46 PM on March 31, 2010

Crom laughs at your 160 quotes.

^{I did too.}
posted by Ghidorah at 5:01 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Question: Why did the Simpsons Movie use Arnold Schwarzenegger as President when they had a perfectly good Arnold parody in Rainier Wolfcastle?

(well, among the thousand other ways they bollocksed it up...)
posted by dunkadunc at 5:03 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

And Jesse Ventura was the Gov. of Minnesota. Now we just need a way to get Carl Weathers into office and we'll finally have a nation prepared to defend ourselves from a Predator hunt.

Don't forget Sonny Landham.
posted by brundlefly at 5:47 PM on March 31, 2010

One of my faves from Kindergarten Cop is after his first day teaching the tykes: he is face down on the bed and without moving says: "Dey're horrible."
posted by bwg at 5:48 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Mrs. Beese sometimes asks me to say "Your fostah parents are dead."
posted by Joe Beese at 6:34 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Maybe it was in there and I missed it, but I've always loved the line in "Junior"

"Oh a party!... but I have nothing to wear."

They did have, "feel how soft my skin is" though, so that's something.
posted by wabbittwax at 6:38 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

This just reminds me of how much I love Total Recall.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:23 PM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

Not long ago I was listening to NPR. The interviewee started a sentence with "Governor Schwarzenegger..." and the NPR interviewer interrupted to say "...of California".

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by neuron at 10:48 PM on March 31, 2010

Commando is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It's just shockingly awful. That dude from Mad Max 2 should be ashamed of himself (but I hope he got paid well for it).
posted by h00py at 6:51 AM on April 1, 2010

Commando is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life

Well you are a girl...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:21 AM on April 1, 2010

(Please note my previous entry has satirical intent... NOT SEXIST!)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:23 AM on April 1, 2010

Commando is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It's just shockingly awful. That dude from Mad Max 2 should be ashamed of himself (but I hope he got paid well for it).

Some things you shouldn't say, even for April fools...
posted by Artw at 10:25 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

I could only make it half-way through (I'll do the second part when my strength returns), but "It's not a tumah! It's not a tuah ... at all" totally cracks me up.
posted by LeLiLo at 10:09 PM on April 1, 2010