You Just KNOW This is Going to Get Shown at His Wedding Reception ...
March 31, 2010 11:24 PM Subscribe
"Buddy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, buddy. You're a single lady, okay?" (SLYT) ... be sure to watch it again in YouTube's new "TextP"!
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- loup
If youtube stayed this way forever, I would not mind at all.
posted by breath at 11:54 PM on March 31, 2010
posted by breath at 11:54 PM on March 31, 2010
Spoiler alert:
I love the "I'm a horrible father" At the end.
especially since that's when you realize he's driving while filming. Heh.)
---
Also, I think this new Youtube layout is actually going to stay. TextP will probably dissapear as a menu option, but stay as a hidden URL Hack feature. The only problem is that I can't seem to figure out how to rate videos...
posted by delmoi at 11:57 PM on March 31, 2010
I love the "I'm a horrible father" At the end.
especially since that's when you realize he's driving while filming. Heh.)
---
Also, I think this new Youtube layout is actually going to stay. TextP will probably dissapear as a menu option, but stay as a hidden URL Hack feature. The only problem is that I can't seem to figure out how to rate videos...
posted by delmoi at 11:57 PM on March 31, 2010
I've had the "new" layout for weeks. The only difference was today was there was a little box saying it was a new layout. I don't mind it. And I think you can only like or dislike videos now. I never rated videos anyway.
posted by birdherder at 12:12 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by birdherder at 12:12 AM on April 1, 2010
TEXTp gives me that sort of "ooh, possible migraine if you keep doing this" feeling, so those of you with sensitive neurons may wish to limit your exposure.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 12:12 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 12:12 AM on April 1, 2010
WCityMike: I'm sure it was fine, but I just thought it was funny given the reaction some people have towards people who use their phones wile driving, even for doing stuff like GPS nav.
posted by delmoi at 12:57 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by delmoi at 12:57 AM on April 1, 2010
I loved how the whole family turned into Beyonce cheerleaders: "It's OK, you're a single lady! You can be a single lady! You can do it!" Adorable.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:59 AM on April 1, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:59 AM on April 1, 2010 [4 favorites]
I like the part where she cries because nobody is in charge of the vehicle.
posted by hypersloth at 2:33 AM on April 1, 2010 [10 favorites]
posted by hypersloth at 2:33 AM on April 1, 2010 [10 favorites]
Wow, that's totally my childhood, up there on the screen. Except with Beyonce instead of Cyndi Lauper.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 2:49 AM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 2:49 AM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
The only problem is that I can't seem to figure out how to rate videos...
I believe Youtube decided to get rid of ratings altogether.
posted by movicont at 3:18 AM on April 1, 2010
I believe Youtube decided to get rid of ratings altogether.
posted by movicont at 3:18 AM on April 1, 2010
...I LOVE the dirty look the girl in blue gives -- "oh, GREAT, dad, NOW you've done it..."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:41 AM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:41 AM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
I love the "I'm a horrible father" At the end.
Yes, you are, now put down the fucking camera and concentrate on operating the giant steel box that is carrying your children!
Other than that, I can relate.
posted by Pollomacho at 4:34 AM on April 1, 2010
Yes, you are, now put down the fucking camera and concentrate on operating the giant steel box that is carrying your children!
Other than that, I can relate.
posted by Pollomacho at 4:34 AM on April 1, 2010
oh that kids gonna have huge issues .
posted by billybobtoo at 4:41 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by billybobtoo at 4:41 AM on April 1, 2010
Can I just pop my head in here and agree he's a horrible father. Not enough to be this unpedagogic on a daily basis, must you post that on youtube as well? Not. Funny.
posted by dabitch at 5:38 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by dabitch at 5:38 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
Wow, that's totally my childhood, up there on the screen. Except with Beyonce instead of Cyndi Lauper.
Damn gender norm policing in sing-a-longs!
posted by The Whelk at 5:44 AM on April 1, 2010
As long as it's a non-modal draggable element & not one of those dim-the-lights-and-dont-click things, that's all I care about.
posted by scalefree at 5:52 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by scalefree at 5:52 AM on April 1, 2010
Not enough to be this unpedagogic on a daily basis
What?
posted by creeky at 6:16 AM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
What?
posted by creeky at 6:16 AM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
must you post that on youtube as well? Not. Funny.
What? Really? If I was a little kid and a funny video like this of me got a bunch of "likes" on youtube I would be super psyched. It will be a funny family story later.
If you look out the window you can see he's going like, 30 miles per hour down a country road. I don't think holding an iphone over your shoulder is any more distracting than a wailing child. But yeah, let's continue with the moral outrage.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:18 AM on April 1, 2010 [13 favorites]
What? Really? If I was a little kid and a funny video like this of me got a bunch of "likes" on youtube I would be super psyched. It will be a funny family story later.
If you look out the window you can see he's going like, 30 miles per hour down a country road. I don't think holding an iphone over your shoulder is any more distracting than a wailing child. But yeah, let's continue with the moral outrage.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:18 AM on April 1, 2010 [13 favorites]
I am morally outraged at something I saw on the internet.
posted by scrowdid at 6:26 AM on April 1, 2010 [7 favorites]
posted by scrowdid at 6:26 AM on April 1, 2010 [7 favorites]
I have had this exact same experience with a toddler of my acquaintance. And I'm not morally outraged about the filming while driving. Although I am wondering what he was planning to film. The girls dancing?
posted by DU at 6:36 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by DU at 6:36 AM on April 1, 2010
> What?
He doesn't know how to speak to his son at the level of development he's currently at. That's really sad. I don't find bad parenting funny. Sorry for raining on your chuckles-parade.
posted by dabitch at 6:42 AM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
He doesn't know how to speak to his son at the level of development he's currently at. That's really sad. I don't find bad parenting funny. Sorry for raining on your chuckles-parade.
posted by dabitch at 6:42 AM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
> a funny video like this of me got a bunch of "likes" on youtube I would be super psyched.
No you wouldn't, he's not grasping why he's not allowed to dance like his sisters yet, forget understanding an abstract concept like "likes" on youtube.
Of course now everyone will tell me to lighten up. Sure. I just hat seeing kids unhappy when they need not be.
posted by dabitch at 6:45 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
No you wouldn't, he's not grasping why he's not allowed to dance like his sisters yet, forget understanding an abstract concept like "likes" on youtube.
Of course now everyone will tell me to lighten up. Sure. I just hat seeing kids unhappy when they need not be.
posted by dabitch at 6:45 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
He doesn't know how to speak to his son at the level of development he's currently at. That's really sad.
DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN
posted by DU at 6:58 AM on April 1, 2010 [23 favorites]
DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN
posted by DU at 6:58 AM on April 1, 2010 [23 favorites]
I think it's probably impossible to have children and not have them burst into tears about some disapointment that is perhaps minor to us, and Earth shattering for them. Although I don't have kids, so what do I know?
posted by codacorolla at 7:27 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by codacorolla at 7:27 AM on April 1, 2010
oh that kids gonna have huge issues .
Why? From one incident? Have you any children?
posted by grubi at 7:28 AM on April 1, 2010
Why? From one incident? Have you any children?
posted by grubi at 7:28 AM on April 1, 2010
My 4 yo would say "yes I am!" and keep dancing. Clearly the father was not expecting this reaction.
posted by Brocktoon at 7:46 AM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Brocktoon at 7:46 AM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
Of course now everyone will tell me to lighten up. Sure. I just hat seeing kids unhappy when they need not be.
Kids do things that parents find funny. Speaking as one, I don't think that posting a video like this on Youtube is exploitation. I do think he's an ass for driving while filming, even if it was on a country road.
dabitch, eventually most parents come to a point where they can prioritize what is and isn't important, with their toddlers' overwhelmingly "id" personalities. My toddlers routinely cry their eyes out when they're denied things they want, but that act of denial doesn't make me a bad parent. Heck, my kids cry when they're told to share with each other, when they're told not to open the refrigerator, when they pick up something within reach that they think is a toy, but isn't (cell phone, tv remote, my shoes, etc), when they have to wait 30-60 seconds for me to pour their juice after being asked if they want something to drink, etc., etc. Some kids cry when they don't get what they want immediately. Part of growing up is developing patience.
That guy has three kids. At this point, he's probably got a pretty clear idea in his head what is and isn't going to do permanent or long-term damage to his youngest.
He doesn't know how to speak to his son at the level of development he's currently at. That's really sad. I don't find bad parenting funny. Sorry for raining on your chuckles-parade.
In all sincerity, how would you have expected him to speak to his child?
DU: DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN
Perhaps not. But wouldn't it be better to help her understand why her impressions may be different than the experience of parenting, rather than dismiss what she's saying?
posted by zarq at 7:46 AM on April 1, 2010 [12 favorites]
Kids do things that parents find funny. Speaking as one, I don't think that posting a video like this on Youtube is exploitation. I do think he's an ass for driving while filming, even if it was on a country road.
dabitch, eventually most parents come to a point where they can prioritize what is and isn't important, with their toddlers' overwhelmingly "id" personalities. My toddlers routinely cry their eyes out when they're denied things they want, but that act of denial doesn't make me a bad parent. Heck, my kids cry when they're told to share with each other, when they're told not to open the refrigerator, when they pick up something within reach that they think is a toy, but isn't (cell phone, tv remote, my shoes, etc), when they have to wait 30-60 seconds for me to pour their juice after being asked if they want something to drink, etc., etc. Some kids cry when they don't get what they want immediately. Part of growing up is developing patience.
That guy has three kids. At this point, he's probably got a pretty clear idea in his head what is and isn't going to do permanent or long-term damage to his youngest.
He doesn't know how to speak to his son at the level of development he's currently at. That's really sad. I don't find bad parenting funny. Sorry for raining on your chuckles-parade.
In all sincerity, how would you have expected him to speak to his child?
DU: DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN
Perhaps not. But wouldn't it be better to help her understand why her impressions may be different than the experience of parenting, rather than dismiss what she's saying?
posted by zarq at 7:46 AM on April 1, 2010 [12 favorites]
...I just hate seeing kids unhappy when they need not be.
Isn't this part of the wonderful world of learning to cope with various levels of stress? Sure we start with the little seemingly minor disapointments, but this is how we all developed into the diverse and complicated adults we all are. Fully aware of how un-Beyonce we are - ultimately - as grown ups now.
Don't have kids so really I'm full of it here. I thought it was cute though. Dad lets them sing and dance to pop music. My dad never let us make racket in the car back in the '70s and I'm still bummed about it.
posted by dog food sugar at 7:52 AM on April 1, 2010
Isn't this part of the wonderful world of learning to cope with various levels of stress? Sure we start with the little seemingly minor disapointments, but this is how we all developed into the diverse and complicated adults we all are. Fully aware of how un-Beyonce we are - ultimately - as grown ups now.
Don't have kids so really I'm full of it here. I thought it was cute though. Dad lets them sing and dance to pop music. My dad never let us make racket in the car back in the '70s and I'm still bummed about it.
posted by dog food sugar at 7:52 AM on April 1, 2010
Of course now everyone will tell me to lighten up. Sure. I just hat seeing kids unhappy when they need not be.
Three-year-olds are often baffled, and sometimes hurt, by things they are not yet able to understand. That's part of being three. Fortunately they're pretty resilient, or everyone ever born would be totally messed.
posted by molybdenumblue at 7:59 AM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
Three-year-olds are often baffled, and sometimes hurt, by things they are not yet able to understand. That's part of being three. Fortunately they're pretty resilient, or everyone ever born would be totally messed.
posted by molybdenumblue at 7:59 AM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
Sorry to ruin this for everyone, but I'm really confused. Is the April fool's joke that there really is no text mode for youtube videos or is it just not working for me and a bunch of other people?
posted by Authorized User at 8:01 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by Authorized User at 8:01 AM on April 1, 2010
PROCRUSTEAN CISGENDERING DAD INNA HOUSE
That was totes adorbz
posted by everichon at 8:05 AM on April 1, 2010
That was totes adorbz
posted by everichon at 8:05 AM on April 1, 2010
I'm a fan of the chick in the middle. Love the eye-attitude.
posted by Billegible at 8:15 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Billegible at 8:15 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
For everyone confused about the April Fools joke: look in the drop-down menu under the video, where you'd normally choose the video resolution. (1080p, etc.) One of the options is "textp." Click on it.
posted by roll truck roll at 8:17 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by roll truck roll at 8:17 AM on April 1, 2010
Big web sites like YouTube (which is owned by Google, a company not exactly known for ignoring April Fools Day) should really avoid making major changes this time of year. Anything new that happens today, or during the month before today, is automatically assumed to be an impermanent joke. I love a good 4/1 prank as much as the next bloke, but stuff like not-really-funny major site redesigns create a ton of confusion for everybody.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 8:30 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 8:30 AM on April 1, 2010
I like to think that this is a lesson for the parent about how it is okay for kids to be gender non conforming, and that gives me hope.
posted by PinkMoose at 8:31 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by PinkMoose at 8:31 AM on April 1, 2010
What does DU's "does not have children" comment mean? zarq - I have a 4 year old daughter, I know what the crying is. I also know how to have it never happen. Seriously.
posted by dabitch at 8:39 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by dabitch at 8:39 AM on April 1, 2010
You know how to keep your 4 year old daughter from ever crying? You can't be serious, can you?
Is she a taxidermy child?
posted by Windigo at 8:43 AM on April 1, 2010 [21 favorites]
Is she a taxidermy child?
posted by Windigo at 8:43 AM on April 1, 2010 [21 favorites]
zarq - I have a 4 year old daughter, I know what the crying is. I also know how to have it never happen. Seriously.
Well if you do, would you mind sharing it with me? I'm a dad of twin 2 year olds who do.
posted by zarq at 8:47 AM on April 1, 2010
Well if you do, would you mind sharing it with me? I'm a dad of twin 2 year olds who do.
posted by zarq at 8:47 AM on April 1, 2010
For everyone confused about the April Fools joke: look in the drop-down menu under the video, where you'd normally choose the video resolution. (1080p, etc.) One of the options is "textp." Click on it.
Does not appear in Safari or Firefox on OSX 10.4.11
posted by zarq at 8:49 AM on April 1, 2010
Does not appear in Safari or Firefox on OSX 10.4.11
posted by zarq at 8:49 AM on April 1, 2010
zarq are you asking advice on how to avoid the "i'm being reprimaded/excluded from fun following my sisters" crying, or avoiding the waaah when it takes you 30 extra seconds to get the juice (are you explaining what you are doing - do the kids think you forgot their juice)?
posted by dabitch at 9:00 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by dabitch at 9:00 AM on April 1, 2010
dabitch:
In all sincerity, how would you have expected him to speak to his child?
posted by ruthsarian at 9:00 AM on April 1, 2010
In all sincerity, how would you have expected him to speak to his child?
posted by ruthsarian at 9:00 AM on April 1, 2010
Let's see, for me personally, if I had to pick either the:
...father who a)seems to love his kids enough to find their every action entertaining and is b) obviously proud of them, and c) is not some homophobic jerk, so that when he perceives the little guy wants to be a single lady, apologizes and encourages him, or.........
...the "Uptight" (imho) overly sensitive parent with highly developed cocoon and outrage mode, I might have to go with the 'poor' parenting.
Geez, 3 kids, seemingly happy and nice people, none on the pole or in prison, and I do recall them crying. And I do recall me ignoring it or even laughing at it when that seemed an appropriate response. Which, I guess to some people is never, and to me is....whenever that seemed an appropriate response.
Seriously. (<----- added to make sure you know how serious and not uptight I am)
posted by umberto at 9:01 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
...father who a)seems to love his kids enough to find their every action entertaining and is b) obviously proud of them, and c) is not some homophobic jerk, so that when he perceives the little guy wants to be a single lady, apologizes and encourages him, or.........
...the "Uptight" (imho) overly sensitive parent with highly developed cocoon and outrage mode, I might have to go with the 'poor' parenting.
Geez, 3 kids, seemingly happy and nice people, none on the pole or in prison, and I do recall them crying. And I do recall me ignoring it or even laughing at it when that seemed an appropriate response. Which, I guess to some people is never, and to me is....whenever that seemed an appropriate response.
Seriously. (<----- added to make sure you know how serious and not uptight I am)
posted by umberto at 9:01 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
zarq are you asking advice on how to avoid the "i'm being reprimaded/excluded from fun following my sisters" crying
First of all, the child was not being reprimanded. His father mildly remarked on an incongruity.
Second of all, there is absolutely no way to predict when a particular contradiction will anger or sadden a child. Just last night I had a toddler mad at me about a "missing" banana that he himself threw away.
Babies are babies. You can treat them kindly and gently, which this father did, but they are still going to cry and sometimes it is going to be funny.
posted by DU at 9:05 AM on April 1, 2010 [9 favorites]
First of all, the child was not being reprimanded. His father mildly remarked on an incongruity.
Second of all, there is absolutely no way to predict when a particular contradiction will anger or sadden a child. Just last night I had a toddler mad at me about a "missing" banana that he himself threw away.
Babies are babies. You can treat them kindly and gently, which this father did, but they are still going to cry and sometimes it is going to be funny.
posted by DU at 9:05 AM on April 1, 2010 [9 favorites]
I like to think that this is a lesson for the parent about how it is okay for kids to be gender non conforming, and that gives me hope.
If you think weekend-beard dude learned a lesson about not being anxious about his toddler son's future masculinity (because it was all about "He-lll, no - my boy's no girly man!" until he got called on it by his wife and daughter's glares) you're kidding yourself.
Also, seriously, no iPhone filming while driving, if you want those kids to get to grow up. Let responsible long-suffering wife drive if you need to play with your toys in the car.
posted by aught at 9:12 AM on April 1, 2010
If you think weekend-beard dude learned a lesson about not being anxious about his toddler son's future masculinity (because it was all about "He-lll, no - my boy's no girly man!" until he got called on it by his wife and daughter's glares) you're kidding yourself.
Also, seriously, no iPhone filming while driving, if you want those kids to get to grow up. Let responsible long-suffering wife drive if you need to play with your toys in the car.
posted by aught at 9:12 AM on April 1, 2010
because it was all about "He-lll, no - my boy's no girly man!" until he got called on it by his wife and daughter's glares
Did we watch the same video?
posted by DU at 9:13 AM on April 1, 2010 [13 favorites]
Did we watch the same video?
posted by DU at 9:13 AM on April 1, 2010 [13 favorites]
Second of all, there is absolutely no way to predict when a particular contradiction will anger or sadden a child.
THIS X1000000
My god. Children are erratic, emotional, unpredictable, irrational, sensitive, etc. etc. The same innocent comment or action one day ("let's get dressed!") can result in a cheerful, positive response, or an emotional breakdown of epic proportions.
The video was sweet and sad. My heart was breaking, both because I absolutely feel for the little boy. He was crushed. But so was every other single person in the family - I don't see how anyone could watch the video and deny that the father was geniunely sorry he hurt his son's feelings. I believe he is a wonderful, loving father. An asshole would have said, "Come on dude, quit crying." An asshole would have denied the kid's feelings. This is not that.
posted by peep at 9:24 AM on April 1, 2010 [19 favorites]
THIS X1000000
My god. Children are erratic, emotional, unpredictable, irrational, sensitive, etc. etc. The same innocent comment or action one day ("let's get dressed!") can result in a cheerful, positive response, or an emotional breakdown of epic proportions.
The video was sweet and sad. My heart was breaking, both because I absolutely feel for the little boy. He was crushed. But so was every other single person in the family - I don't see how anyone could watch the video and deny that the father was geniunely sorry he hurt his son's feelings. I believe he is a wonderful, loving father. An asshole would have said, "Come on dude, quit crying." An asshole would have denied the kid's feelings. This is not that.
posted by peep at 9:24 AM on April 1, 2010 [19 favorites]
If you think weekend-beard dude learned a lesson about not being anxious about his toddler son's future masculinity (because it was all about "He-lll, no - my boy's no girly man!" until he got called on it by his wife and daughter's glares) you're kidding yourself.
You're nuts. AS soon as the child started crying, the father was part of the chorus of "Oh, you're a single lady, okay?"
Did you show up to MeFi with your panties in a bunch or did that just happen?
posted by grubi at 9:34 AM on April 1, 2010
You're nuts. AS soon as the child started crying, the father was part of the chorus of "Oh, you're a single lady, okay?"
Did you show up to MeFi with your panties in a bunch or did that just happen?
posted by grubi at 9:34 AM on April 1, 2010
zarq are you asking advice on how to avoid the "i'm being reprimaded/excluded from fun following my sisters" crying, or avoiding the waaah when it takes you 30 extra seconds to get the juice (are you explaining what you are doing - do the kids think you forgot their juice)?
Let's go for both.
I'm rather introverted. But I talk to and with my kids constantly. I ask them questions, I sing, hum, chatter and pretty much interact with them non-stop when I'm around them. So yes, I nearly always explain what I'm doing for them.
posted by zarq at 9:34 AM on April 1, 2010
Let's go for both.
I'm rather introverted. But I talk to and with my kids constantly. I ask them questions, I sing, hum, chatter and pretty much interact with them non-stop when I'm around them. So yes, I nearly always explain what I'm doing for them.
posted by zarq at 9:34 AM on April 1, 2010
I don't see how anyone could watch the video and deny that the father was geniunely sorry he hurt his son's feelings. I believe he is a wonderful, loving father. An asshole would have said, "Come on dude, quit crying." An asshole would have denied the kid's feelings. This is not that.
Exactly. Well said.
posted by zarq at 9:35 AM on April 1, 2010
Exactly. Well said.
posted by zarq at 9:35 AM on April 1, 2010
because it was all about "He-lll, no - my boy's no girly man!" until he got called on it by his wife and daughter's glares
I did not get that impression at all. I could see myself doing the same thing if one of my kids was singing a song about being a fish. You say "Hey you! You're not a FISH!" and they say "I am too!" and move on ... Unless they don't. The mood of a toddler is an entirely nebulous thing. My daughter once had a full-blown crying fit because we told her she couldn't drive the car because she didn't yet know how to drive a car. SHe was 3 at the time.
posted by thekilgore at 9:36 AM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
I did not get that impression at all. I could see myself doing the same thing if one of my kids was singing a song about being a fish. You say "Hey you! You're not a FISH!" and they say "I am too!" and move on ... Unless they don't. The mood of a toddler is an entirely nebulous thing. My daughter once had a full-blown crying fit because we told her she couldn't drive the car because she didn't yet know how to drive a car. SHe was 3 at the time.
posted by thekilgore at 9:36 AM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
For everyone confused about the April Fools joke: look in the drop-down menu under the video, where you'd normally choose the video resolution. (1080p, etc.) One of the options is "textp."
That option does not appear to me on either IE on XP or Firefox on XP and it's the same on two computers (both with flash 10 and before and after deleting cookies etc.). So, I suppose I should write this off as a joke then. Ha. Fooled me.
posted by Authorized User at 9:43 AM on April 1, 2010
That option does not appear to me on either IE on XP or Firefox on XP and it's the same on two computers (both with flash 10 and before and after deleting cookies etc.). So, I suppose I should write this off as a joke then. Ha. Fooled me.
posted by Authorized User at 9:43 AM on April 1, 2010
Beware of parenting experts.
posted by cell divide at 9:44 AM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by cell divide at 9:44 AM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
The mood of a toddler is an entirely nebulous thing.
Seriously. I had epic meltdowns at that age after being told no, I could not drive the car, or no, I could not light the rug on fire, or no, no one was brutally murdered at the DIY car wash, that was just red paint on the vacuum hose. I would flip out and lose my shit if I said "I'm a pony!" and my mom said, "You're not a pony, you're a girl!", I would flip out if we drove by a Wienerschnitzel and didn't stop for mustard dogs. I would come completely unhinged if my grandpa wouldn't let me reach into the fish tank with my bare hands to try to pet all the fish.
Kids are unreasonable and weird. This child does not appear to be being abused. Stand down from code red: freakout times, okay?
posted by palomar at 9:47 AM on April 1, 2010 [7 favorites]
Seriously. I had epic meltdowns at that age after being told no, I could not drive the car, or no, I could not light the rug on fire, or no, no one was brutally murdered at the DIY car wash, that was just red paint on the vacuum hose. I would flip out and lose my shit if I said "I'm a pony!" and my mom said, "You're not a pony, you're a girl!", I would flip out if we drove by a Wienerschnitzel and didn't stop for mustard dogs. I would come completely unhinged if my grandpa wouldn't let me reach into the fish tank with my bare hands to try to pet all the fish.
Kids are unreasonable and weird. This child does not appear to be being abused. Stand down from code red: freakout times, okay?
posted by palomar at 9:47 AM on April 1, 2010 [7 favorites]
I have a 4 year old daughter, I know what the crying is. I also know how to have it never happen. Seriously.
Congratulations on having a child with an extraordinary ability to roll with the punches. I come from a large family in which there are always a few kids of just about every age around. I've seen easy-going kids like that. But they are unusual, and it can not all be chalked up to good parenting. I have four children. One of mine would most likely have reacted in exactly the same way as the boy in the video. Another would have been furious and screamed "YES I AM!" and then sulked for ten minutes. Another would have ignored it entirely or laughed it off. The youngest hasn't demonstrated her personality yet, but I'm sure hoping for mellow and easy-going. Same parenting, different kids, different temperaments.
Granted, knowing the child's personality means knowing the kinds of things that might set the kid off, but walking on eggshells to avoid ever upsetting the poor precious darling over something silly isn't terribly good parenting either. Even the most high-strung overemotional kids have to learn to deal with things they don't like. But there are going to be tears from time to time until they do. This kid is most likely going to be fine. Unless dad crashes the car while filming.
posted by Dojie at 10:48 AM on April 1, 2010 [4 favorites]
Congratulations on having a child with an extraordinary ability to roll with the punches. I come from a large family in which there are always a few kids of just about every age around. I've seen easy-going kids like that. But they are unusual, and it can not all be chalked up to good parenting. I have four children. One of mine would most likely have reacted in exactly the same way as the boy in the video. Another would have been furious and screamed "YES I AM!" and then sulked for ten minutes. Another would have ignored it entirely or laughed it off. The youngest hasn't demonstrated her personality yet, but I'm sure hoping for mellow and easy-going. Same parenting, different kids, different temperaments.
Granted, knowing the child's personality means knowing the kinds of things that might set the kid off, but walking on eggshells to avoid ever upsetting the poor precious darling over something silly isn't terribly good parenting either. Even the most high-strung overemotional kids have to learn to deal with things they don't like. But there are going to be tears from time to time until they do. This kid is most likely going to be fine. Unless dad crashes the car while filming.
posted by Dojie at 10:48 AM on April 1, 2010 [4 favorites]
ruthsarian - In all seriousness, if you need to ask me that you haven't grokked my previous comments.
posted by dabitch at 10:52 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by dabitch at 10:52 AM on April 1, 2010
Coincidentally - my 2 year old son, who is currently wearing a pink taffeta dress from the dress-up box, just started screaming at me because I called him by his actual name instead of "Baby Tiger." But I don't have an i-Phone, so you'll all just have to imagine it.
posted by Dojie at 11:01 AM on April 1, 2010 [18 favorites]
posted by Dojie at 11:01 AM on April 1, 2010 [18 favorites]
ruthsarian - In all seriousness, if you need to ask me that you haven't grokked my previous comments.
I asked it originally. And yes, I was hoping for an actual answer.
posted by zarq at 11:36 AM on April 1, 2010
I asked it originally. And yes, I was hoping for an actual answer.
posted by zarq at 11:36 AM on April 1, 2010
I have a 4 year old daughter, I know what the crying is. I also know how to have it never happen. Seriously.
I, too, as a father of 4-year-old twins, would love to learn the magic of having children that never cry for reasons we can't predict. No, wait, I don't. Sometimes people, of all ages, have an emotional response to something that is unpredictable to others and to themselves. I want my kids to be free to have and express those emotions, and find that their family loves them and supports them anyway -- even if those emotions are triggered by something stupid (albeit well-intentioned) I did as a dad.
posted by davejay at 11:45 AM on April 1, 2010
I, too, as a father of 4-year-old twins, would love to learn the magic of having children that never cry for reasons we can't predict. No, wait, I don't. Sometimes people, of all ages, have an emotional response to something that is unpredictable to others and to themselves. I want my kids to be free to have and express those emotions, and find that their family loves them and supports them anyway -- even if those emotions are triggered by something stupid (albeit well-intentioned) I did as a dad.
posted by davejay at 11:45 AM on April 1, 2010
I know what the crying is. I also know how to have it never happen.
I just realized: how do you know what the crying is, if you never have it happen? Did it happen, and you learned how to avoid hitting those triggers, or do you occasionally let it happen even though you know how to prevent it? I'm asking sincerely.
posted by davejay at 11:46 AM on April 1, 2010
I just realized: how do you know what the crying is, if you never have it happen? Did it happen, and you learned how to avoid hitting those triggers, or do you occasionally let it happen even though you know how to prevent it? I'm asking sincerely.
posted by davejay at 11:46 AM on April 1, 2010
PinkMoose: I like to think that this is a lesson for the parent about how it is okay for kids to be gender non conforming, and that gives me hope.
Actually, yes, this was my thought too. I found it quite interesting that after the dad's initial thoughtless comment reinforcing gender norms, that he (and the rest of the family) quickly realized that they had hurt the little boy's feelings and then assured him that he could, in fact, be a single lady if he wanted to. I actually thought it was a nice example of responsive parenting. Who doesn't make mistakes? It's how we react after we realize we've made a mistake that's important. As peep and a few other people pointed out, if the dad were really a "my boy's no girly man!" dude, rather than saying "I'm sorry! It's OK! You can be a single lady!" he would have told the crying child to suck it up because "boys don't cry."
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:56 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
Actually, yes, this was my thought too. I found it quite interesting that after the dad's initial thoughtless comment reinforcing gender norms, that he (and the rest of the family) quickly realized that they had hurt the little boy's feelings and then assured him that he could, in fact, be a single lady if he wanted to. I actually thought it was a nice example of responsive parenting. Who doesn't make mistakes? It's how we react after we realize we've made a mistake that's important. As peep and a few other people pointed out, if the dad were really a "my boy's no girly man!" dude, rather than saying "I'm sorry! It's OK! You can be a single lady!" he would have told the crying child to suck it up because "boys don't cry."
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:56 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
zarq - OK.
My first comment is agreeing with him calling himself a bad father. He has told his son that he is not a "singly lady" and therefore can not dance with siblings. Son doesn't grasp the abstract concept of whatever the gobbidigok song nor dad is saying here (single ladies? what?), he just feels reprimanded for doing what his sisters are doing, as if he has done something wrong, and cries from both confusion and hurt feelings.
To avoid this simple situation is really quite simple. Try not telling his son he can't do X because of [abstract concept kid doesn't understand yet] - it wasn't anything the kid needed to hear at this moment was it? Or is it incredibly important that toddler learns he is not a single lady the moment he is having fun dancing in the back of the car with is sisters? Really? As a parent yourself, you have likely helped your kids understand 'don't play with X because it is sharp and you'll get an owie', which is on the level of toddler communication that "you're not a single lady" is not.
I'm not outraged by the way, if anyone is reading that into it. I just don't find toddler being genuinely confused to tears knee-slappingly hilarious and I never will. The great dad here who expresses remorse for having confused his son, then puts the video on youtube. Seems inconsistent.
And yes, kids react different, all that. I just don't think its funny. Its a free country, right? I am allowed? Pretty please with sugar on top?
posted by dabitch at 11:57 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
My first comment is agreeing with him calling himself a bad father. He has told his son that he is not a "singly lady" and therefore can not dance with siblings. Son doesn't grasp the abstract concept of whatever the gobbidigok song nor dad is saying here (single ladies? what?), he just feels reprimanded for doing what his sisters are doing, as if he has done something wrong, and cries from both confusion and hurt feelings.
To avoid this simple situation is really quite simple. Try not telling his son he can't do X because of [abstract concept kid doesn't understand yet] - it wasn't anything the kid needed to hear at this moment was it? Or is it incredibly important that toddler learns he is not a single lady the moment he is having fun dancing in the back of the car with is sisters? Really? As a parent yourself, you have likely helped your kids understand 'don't play with X because it is sharp and you'll get an owie', which is on the level of toddler communication that "you're not a single lady" is not.
I'm not outraged by the way, if anyone is reading that into it. I just don't find toddler being genuinely confused to tears knee-slappingly hilarious and I never will. The great dad here who expresses remorse for having confused his son, then puts the video on youtube. Seems inconsistent.
And yes, kids react different, all that. I just don't think its funny. Its a free country, right? I am allowed? Pretty please with sugar on top?
posted by dabitch at 11:57 AM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
davejay - the crying in this video is one of confusion from inconsistency [siblings dance but I may not]. My daughter doesn't have confusion crying fits as we try not to confuse her. I should have made that a lot more clear to everyone here, I realize now and for that I apologize. She'll cry from frustration or scraping her knee or being super-tired like all kids.
posted by dabitch at 12:04 PM on April 1, 2010
posted by dabitch at 12:04 PM on April 1, 2010
Is joking allowed in your house?
posted by roll truck roll at 12:26 PM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by roll truck roll at 12:26 PM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
My daughter is more into questions. In stead of assuming she was a "single lady" she would ask, "Daddy, am I a single lady?" To which I'd say, "sure, dear." Then would come the inevitable follow-up, "Daddy, are you a single lady?" To which I's reply, "I once was, dear." and burst into tears.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:27 PM on April 1, 2010 [11 favorites]
posted by Pollomacho at 12:27 PM on April 1, 2010 [11 favorites]
roll truck roll , yes joking is allowed at my house and kids in general are hysterically funny little people doing very funny things roughly a gazillon times a day. I'm around a lot of kids and parents, and often have belly aches from laughing. How is it at your house?
posted by dabitch at 12:49 PM on April 1, 2010
posted by dabitch at 12:49 PM on April 1, 2010
I do not have kids yet. I do work with 6-8 year olds a coupla times a week.
I once had a kid start crying because I asked him how many fingers I was holding up.
posted by PMdixon at 1:26 PM on April 1, 2010
I once had a kid start crying because I asked him how many fingers I was holding up.
posted by PMdixon at 1:26 PM on April 1, 2010
It struck me as the dad making an off-the-cuff joke, and temporarily forgetting that three year olds have a more literal sense of humor than older people. He realized that he was wrong, felt bad about making his son cry, and apologized. The uploading to Youtube thing... well, it WAS pretty funny.
Kids have to learn to deal with disapointment and confusion at some point. At least he has a father who's willing to admit his mistakes and seems to have a fairly good sense of humor.
posted by codacorolla at 1:40 PM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
Kids have to learn to deal with disapointment and confusion at some point. At least he has a father who's willing to admit his mistakes and seems to have a fairly good sense of humor.
posted by codacorolla at 1:40 PM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
Thanks, dabitch, I think you explained that really well. Well enough for the thread to move on now I think! FWIW, this family was interviewed for this video on national television here and the dad regretted his behavior as a "mistake" and felt like he had just "crushed" the kiddo's spirit. I think everyone will be okay.
posted by onlyconnect at 1:44 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by onlyconnect at 1:44 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
I like to think that this is a lesson for the parent about how it is okay for kids to be gender non conforming, and that gives me hope.
I thought it was lesson on teaching your children crappy pop music, but what do I know, I'm raising my kid on a mixture of 70s AM Gold and TV theme songs...
posted by madajb at 1:53 PM on April 1, 2010
I thought it was lesson on teaching your children crappy pop music, but what do I know, I'm raising my kid on a mixture of 70s AM Gold and TV theme songs...
posted by madajb at 1:53 PM on April 1, 2010
dabitch: Maybe you're a completely different person at home with your kids than on the internet, but your caustic, brusque manner in dealing with people in this thread almost made me cry. And I'm a grown adult.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 1:55 PM on April 1, 2010 [7 favorites]
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 1:55 PM on April 1, 2010 [7 favorites]
OK, try this: tell your three-year-old to stand in front of a mirror and look at himself with his eyes closed. See how long it takes for him to understand the problem.
posted by SPrintF at 2:01 PM on April 1, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 2:01 PM on April 1, 2010 [8 favorites]
Children are erratic, emotional, unpredictable, irrational, sensitive, etc. etc.
It's almost like they're people!
posted by Evilspork at 5:36 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
It's almost like they're people!
posted by Evilspork at 5:36 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
And yes, kids react different, all that. I just don't think its funny. Its a free country, right? I am allowed? Pretty please with sugar on top?
Nah, you're incorrect. It was funny.
Of course, I'm just saying that to metaphorically see your ears steam, because the internet is all about mindless arguments over trivialities, and winding people up.
Just the way I was raised, I guess.
posted by Diablevert at 6:16 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
Nah, you're incorrect. It was funny.
Of course, I'm just saying that to metaphorically see your ears steam, because the internet is all about mindless arguments over trivialities, and winding people up.
Just the way I was raised, I guess.
posted by Diablevert at 6:16 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
It's interesting that the father wanted to talk about adoption on the news show, but only mentioned the boy. I'd (reluctantly) assume that one of his daughters is adopted too.
posted by roll truck roll at 10:56 AM on April 2, 2010
posted by roll truck roll at 10:56 AM on April 2, 2010
Crying 'Single Lady' Kid Redeemed on National TV
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:03 PM on April 2, 2010
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:03 PM on April 2, 2010
dabitch: Maybe you're a completely different person at home with your kids than on the internet, but your caustic, brusque manner in dealing with people in this thread almost made me cry. And I'm a grown adult.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 4:55 PM on April 1
Dude, check her user name. I would expect nothing less..
posted by magstheaxe at 12:25 PM on April 2, 2010
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 4:55 PM on April 1
Dude, check her user name. I would expect nothing less..
posted by magstheaxe at 12:25 PM on April 2, 2010
I thought it was lesson on teaching your children crappy pop music, but what do I know, I'm raising my kid on a mixture of 70s AM Gold and TV theme songs...
If it was good enough for my brother and me back in '74...
posted by Pollomacho at 12:27 PM on April 2, 2010
If it was good enough for my brother and me back in '74...
posted by Pollomacho at 12:27 PM on April 2, 2010
Oh, nevermind. I take back my earlier comment.
My favorite part of the MSNBC video is the darker-skinned daughter mimicking the dad's "it's just ignorance."
posted by roll truck roll at 12:27 PM on April 2, 2010
My favorite part of the MSNBC video is the darker-skinned daughter mimicking the dad's "it's just ignorance."
posted by roll truck roll at 12:27 PM on April 2, 2010
My first comment is agreeing with him calling himself a bad father. He has told his son that he is not a "singly lady" and therefore can not dance with siblings.
Wait, when did he say "you can't dance with them"? I only heard him say "you're not a single lady". Nowhere was the forbidding of dancing stated.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:18 PM on April 3, 2010
Wait, when did he say "you can't dance with them"? I only heard him say "you're not a single lady". Nowhere was the forbidding of dancing stated.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:18 PM on April 3, 2010
EmpressCallipygos, I'm surprised that you too have misunderstood my comments. I thought you knew me better. It's one thing that DU thinks that I have said the child was being reprimanded, which we can all plainly see the dad isn't doing, when I am describing how the child feels about the barked "Dude, you're not a lady", and the reaction (that confused crying - not any other type of crying). I've apologized twice in this thread for not being able to find such situations funny, as I feel bad for the children. This makes me caustic and brusque if you misread my comments and project a tone on them that is not there.
posted by dabitch at 1:34 AM on April 12, 2010
posted by dabitch at 1:34 AM on April 12, 2010
I think it all depends on your definitions. If you believe that intent is required for someone to be caustic & brusque, we must take you at your word that you don't intend to be those things. But if perception counts at all, then you might want to take the opinion of a number of us into account & accept that however you wish your words to be perceived, it's not coming across that way.
posted by scalefree at 7:19 PM on April 12, 2010
posted by scalefree at 7:19 PM on April 12, 2010
The thing though, scalefree, is that even though you accept that people sometimes have their words interpreted differently than they intend, you seem to be weighting the father's comments as if he DID intend them that way.
And, well, sometimes people say things that accidentally get taken the wrong way, especially when there's kids involved. And I don't see how it makes sense that, if someone clearly didn't INTEND for their words to be taken that way, that you should castigate them as if they DID.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:39 PM on April 12, 2010
And, well, sometimes people say things that accidentally get taken the wrong way, especially when there's kids involved. And I don't see how it makes sense that, if someone clearly didn't INTEND for their words to be taken that way, that you should castigate them as if they DID.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:39 PM on April 12, 2010
....And speaking if intent: that last bit was intended to be directed at dabitch instead of scalefree. Sorry.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:40 PM on April 12, 2010
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:40 PM on April 12, 2010
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posted by seawallrunner at 11:28 PM on March 31, 2010