Appendectomy? For Your Visit Please Bring 5 Chickens to Your Doctor's Office.

April 23, 2010 3:23 PM

Earlier this week GOP Senate candidate Sue Lowden -- who wants to replace Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) -- "made the case for paying doctors with chickens, rather than checks from the insurance company." When questioned if Lowden really advocates 'barter' as a viable solution for health care reform, her communications director, Chrystal Feldman, confirmed that it is indeed her position." Curious as to how many chickens you'll need to receive care from your primary care physician? Use the Lowden Medical Procedure to Chicken Converter to find out.

Lowden's original statement:

“I’m telling you that this works. You know, before we all started having health care, in the olden days our grandparents, they would bring a chicken to the doctor, they would say I’ll paint your house. I mean, that’s the old days of what people would do to get health care with your doctors. Doctors are very sympathetic people. I’m not backing down from that system.”

posted by ericb (121 comments total)

Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we've learned, by the dust of them all! Bartertown learned. Now, when men get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two chickens enter — one chicken leaves.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:26 PM on April 23, 2010 [9 favorites]

Jay Leno and Ed Schultz on the 'Lowden Plan.'

Bring a Chicken to the Doctor...I'm Not Backing Down from This.
posted by ericb at 3:27 PM on April 23, 2010

Before we get all LOL chickens, let me remind you that many people barter for services. My friend the electrician barters with his dentist. It breaks down when you have to take a truckload of chickens to the hospital for your cancer surgery.
posted by fixedgear at 3:28 PM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]

Rachel Maddow's take on Chicken Sue.
posted by ericb at 3:28 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

The appalling lack of understanding of economics, history, and medicine on display by Lowden is mind-boggling. She's wrong for so many reasons it's hard to even know where to begin.
posted by jedicus at 3:29 PM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

Nice to see you back, Reid.
posted by klangklangston at 3:30 PM on April 23, 2010 [6 favorites]

Paying doctors in chickens is degrading. I've paid mine in roast duck [true story].
posted by digitalprimate at 3:35 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

fixedgear Before we get all LOL chickens, let me remind you that many people barter for services. My friend the electrician barters with his dentist. It breaks down when you have to take a truckload of chickens to the hospital for your cancer surgery.

Well I certainly hope they're both recording the fair market value of these transactions as gross income on their tax returns.
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:35 PM on April 23, 2010 [9 favorites]

They wouldn't let me pay for my bird flu shot with a chicken, so I brought 'em a pig. But everybody just ran screaming. Weird place.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:36 PM on April 23, 2010 [15 favorites]

This is going to definitely increase every reference interview, if I have to negotiate with each student before helping them find their book....
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:37 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yeah, well I'm working on trading one red paper clip for a heart-lung transplant.
posted by found missing at 3:38 PM on April 23, 2010 [24 favorites]

If you pay a Doctors in chickens, then what do you pay a Veterinarian in?
posted by TwelveTwo at 3:38 PM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]

If you pay a Doctors in chickens, then what do you pay a Veterinarian in?

The office.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:39 PM on April 23, 2010 [8 favorites]

Miss Lowden, I knew the Chicken Lady. I was friends with the Chicken lady. You, ma'am, are no Chicken Lady.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:40 PM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

Since I first saw this story had legs I've been keeping abreast of it, and I think at this point Lowden's just winging it.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 3:42 PM on April 23, 2010 [21 favorites]

This truly falls apart when you attempt to purchase a family pack of chicken legs at the local grocery with a chicken.. the damn system will pretty much implode...
posted by HuronBob at 3:42 PM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

I've got an even better plan, a return to real family values. If the doctor fixes my leg, then he is entitled to one of my daughters and two of my slaves. It worked then, it can work now!
posted by The Whelk at 3:43 PM on April 23, 2010 [11 favorites]

I can't stop laughing about the chicken converter.
Some helpful tips from the small print:
Chickens should not drive you to the doctor

Folks, this is good advice. Please heed.
posted by jeoc at 3:46 PM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]

I hope someday to elect a strong president, one who'll face the terrorists unblinking, with a firm grip on his or her chicken, and not back down.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:47 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

If you pay a Doctors in chickens, then what do you pay a Veterinarian in?

Human beings?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:49 PM on April 23, 2010

Negotiate with your doctor, sure. He holds your life in your hands. That's not exactly the best bargaining position to be in.
posted by empath at 3:49 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

This is certainly a "not even wrong" sort of situation. Where does she even posit that private citizens are going to get chickens with which to barter?
posted by clockzero at 3:49 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Nominate her as the Republican and get a Libertarian to run as a third party. After her nonsense with the anti-Ron Paul election fraud shit, she'd be toast as the Naderites Paulrandians eat into the main candidates' votes.
posted by thesmophoron at 3:50 PM on April 23, 2010

The appalling lack of understanding of economics, history, and medicine on display by Lowden is mind-boggling. current mainstream Republican thinking.

FTFY.
posted by dhartung at 3:51 PM on April 23, 2010 [18 favorites]

Chickens are more cumbersome to use as currency than, say, currency--in part because they walk around, and kind of randomly. Just try herding them into a Starbucks.
posted by found missing at 3:52 PM on April 23, 2010 [6 favorites]

I wonder if she ever digresses from her prepared remarks to discuss how she invented the turlet.

And wears an onion on her belt. And gets five bees for a quarter. And every other grandpa Simpson reference ever.
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:53 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Someone has got to try to give her campaign a chicken donation.
posted by stavrogin at 3:54 PM on April 23, 2010 [29 favorites]

If you pay a Doctors in chickens, then what do you pay a Veterinarian in?

Singles. Twenty of 'em. Same is in town.
posted by inigo2 at 3:54 PM on April 23, 2010

Twenty clucks, same as in town.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:54 PM on April 23, 2010 [10 favorites]

My dad went to potato matinees when he was a kid, where you got to see a movie in exchange for a potato. It wasn't a fond memory.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:55 PM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm just now tallying up the total cost of an operation I had in Feb to remove a kidney stone to make sure I didn't overpay or my insurer underpay.

I'm over $30,000 and still counting.

How may chickens exactly....?
posted by victors at 3:55 PM on April 23, 2010

Also --

They wouldn't let me pay for my bird flu shot with a chicken, so I brought 'em a pig.

Bartering for medical expenses with a pig isn't a new idea...
posted by inigo2 at 3:55 PM on April 23, 2010

Oh, man! This thread is a gold mine barn yard!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:56 PM on April 23, 2010

From the article:

WANT TO PAY LESS AT THE DOCTORS - NEGOTIATE

Thanks, Einstein. Want a raise? Negotiate! Want to avoid conscription? Negotiate! Paying too much for gas? Negotiate! Get an on-the-job injury and now you can't earn a living? Negotiate!

Per jedicus, it's so wrong it's beyond wrong. It's trans-wrong.
posted by GuyZero at 3:56 PM on April 23, 2010 [6 favorites]

Do you take MasterCard or Visa organic or free-range?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:59 PM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

April, 2010: due to its sudden wealth and advantage in the bartering market, Gold'n'Plump opens its health insurance division with great fanfare. Says CEO, "We're proud to offer the most competitive and complete insurance plans on the market. It makes our breasts swell with pride, just like our full and delicious skinless chicken breasts available in supermarkets everywhere!"
posted by Think_Long at 3:59 PM on April 23, 2010

But what happens when the doctors have cornered the world chicken market? We would have to pay in pigs, or cows. But what is the conversion rate of pigs to chickens. Is a side of beef worth a whole hog?

Someday someone would have to come up with a single commodity, or some sort of secured and protected note, in which to express the value of all commodities.
posted by Some1 at 3:59 PM on April 23, 2010 [8 favorites]

Here's another thing they said in the olden days: 34 The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt.

And just incase Leviticus is too Jewy for you, 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.

So, as a Republican, and a Christian, and someone who aspires to receive top-notch health care paid for by the taxpayers, and also as someone who is into solving problems the old fashioned way, I assume that you would like to not only insure that these same benefits that you would like to recieve are distributed to everyone, but that you plan on including the foreign born, the immigrant, and the undocumented people, as well.

Right?
posted by paisley henosis at 4:01 PM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]

The first result for "chicken farming Nevada" is the Chicken Ranch Brothel. While I don't agree with her plan, it's starting to make more sense.
posted by Gary at 4:03 PM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

Har har, crazy and stupid, but according to TPM Lowden has been in political office for 18 years, and currently leads Reid by 20+ points. Maybe bartering doesn't sound so crazy in a state with 13.4% unemployment?
posted by r_nebblesworthII at 4:04 PM on April 23, 2010

According to Talking Points Memo's poll tracker, Lowden has a 13-point lead over Harry Reid.
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 4:06 PM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]

My father-in-law, a small-time country lawyer, has accepted in lieu of currency:

* venison steaks
* antique and modern firearms
* pomeranian dogs (on two separate occasions)
* car parts and car repair

He prefers cash.
posted by dmd at 4:07 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

My bad, 13%+. Also, the trend is widening in her favor.
posted by r_nebblesworthII at 4:07 PM on April 23, 2010

How would this work in Kauai, where chickens are free and plentiful? Would that count as universal health care?
posted by dbscissors at 4:08 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Coal mine collapse on your husband? Negotiate!
House flooded by a once-a-century hurricane? Negotiate!
Poisoned by food-borne bacteria? Negotiate!
Being robbed at gunpoint? Negotiate!
Foreign countries dumping goods into your markets below cost? Negotiate!
Did you car get totaled on the highway by a semi driven by a meth addict who'd been awake for 92 hours straight? Negotiate!

How did I make it this far in life without knowing this?
posted by GuyZero at 4:08 PM on April 23, 2010

How many chicken livers for a pig's heart valve?
posted by StickyCarpet at 4:09 PM on April 23, 2010

"Negotiate with your doctor, sure. He holds your life in your hands. That's not exactly the best bargaining position to be in."

I'm actually in a much stronger position than my doctors, currently. They saved my arm and leg before finding out that I was an indigent. Now what are they gonna do? They ain't gettin' their fancy screws back without a really, really strong magnet.

(As a side note, I am trying to negotiate with them, but I don't know what the end point will be. And I do want to pay them, as they deserve it. If I had any chickens, they could have 'em. I am able to offer all the aggrandizing doggerel that they'll ever need, though. Maybe I can write their Christmas cards.)
posted by klangklangston at 4:15 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

My grandfather bartered because of the Great Goddamn Depression you ahistorical clod.

also: How fungible is poultry?
posted by boo_radley at 4:17 PM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'll pay my doctor not in chickens, but KFC Double Down sandwiches. Then as he collapses to the ground from the massive heart attack, I will cackle over him "who has leverage now?"
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 4:18 PM on April 23, 2010 [5 favorites]

Har har, crazy and stupid, but according to TPM Lowden has been in political office for 18 years, and currently leads Reid by 20+ points. Maybe bartering doesn't sound so crazy in a state with 13.4% unemployment?

Yes, the people of Nevada will be getting what they deserve. Unfortunately, the rest of us will also be getting what the people of Nevada deserve.
posted by dirigibleman at 4:18 PM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]

According to Talking Points Memo's poll tracker, Lowden has a 13-point lead over Harry Reid.

It's also April and she has raised $300,000 for her campaign. Reid has raised $9.4 million.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 4:23 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

This smacks of "let them eat cake" sentiment.

"What do you mean they can't afford medical treatment? Let them barter chickens." As if everybody has something to trade to a doctor in exchange for treatment.
posted by jabberjaw at 4:27 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Annual check-up: 24 chickens; OB/GYN visit: 41 chickens; irrefutable proof of the cluckiarchy.
posted by Errant at 4:31 PM on April 23, 2010

It's also April and she has raised $300,000 for her campaign. Reid has raised $9.4 million.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:23 PM on April 23 [+] [!]

Well, yes, but money's only one thing. How many chickens have each of the candidates raised?
posted by Comrade_robot at 4:34 PM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]

Nevadan here, if our state decides to forget that the Senate is run on seniority and votes Reid out, the 48% cut to higher education we had recently will look generous.
posted by karmiolz at 4:47 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Do people really have a lot of things they can barter? I don't think I have anything to barter unless physicians are dying to get their hands on mint-condition copies of X-Men (and Generation X!) comics from the mid-90s. But wait, there's more - I type quickly, I have a BS in health care administration, I can interpret Joint Commission regulations, and I can use the ADDIE model to design training programs - any takers??

tl;dr - this is a bad idea.

Bartering for medical expenses with a pig isn't a new idea...
This movie annoys me because the pig has my first name. GRAR.
posted by jeoc at 4:50 PM on April 23, 2010

"It's also April and she has raised $300,000 for her campaign. Reid has raised $9.4 million."

Well, yeah, but she's letting that $300,000 ride.
posted by klangklangston at 5:10 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Per jedicus, it's so wrong it's beyond wrong. It's trans-wrong.

I like "polywrong." Or, when the wrongness defies description and only increases the more one examines it, "fractally wrong."

Like dmd, my father has done, and still does, barter for his professional services. When I was living there, in exchange for various root canals and fillings, we received, among other goods and services:

* Asphalt topping on the quarter-mile driveway
* Grading of the stock tank
* Taxidermy of my brother's first multi-point buck
* Chemical hair-straightening for me (far less successful than the taxidermy)

The barter system works reasonably well in small, relatively self-contained communities. And it works best for people whose skills and resources are either tangible or essential.

I'm an editor in NYC. I can't pay my mortgage in chickens. Nor can I offer editing to the local Associated in exchange for food and beer. I'm reasonably certain that neither my health insurance company nor any of my health-care providers will accept editing or any fruits of my other talents and skills in exchange for their services. Incredibly delicious gingerbread? Skillful floating and taping? Enthusiastic blowjob? All worthless.

Lucky for me, I have a big sunny outdoor space. Come the apocalypse, when the city reverts to a chicken-based economy, I have a primo spot for a massive coop.
posted by dogrose at 5:16 PM on April 23, 2010 [5 favorites]

This is actually an ethics violation in psychiatry, psychology and counseling-- it's called a "dual relationship" and is expressly forbidden for some of the same reasons sex with your shrink is forbidden. I suppose if she legalized prostitution in the rest of the country this might work a tiny bit better...
posted by Maias at 5:35 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

My blippy feed, if I use chickens instead of my cc:

Womble has just purchase one vial of medicine using 3.5 chickens. All his chickens are stored in a 43 Elm St, and the gate is unlocked.
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 5:43 PM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]

Here's the thing: If you're a farmer, you could barter some of your crops or livestock. If you're an house painter, maybe you could offer your house-painting services. What are you expected to offer if you're a politician?
posted by mhum at 5:49 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

The original comment is actually not what's described in the FPP as such. It dates to April 6.
posted by Jahaza at 6:07 PM on April 23, 2010

It's also April and she has raised $300,000 for her campaign. Reid has raised $9.4 million.

9.4 million? That ain't chicken feed.
posted by HP LaserJet P10006 at 6:09 PM on April 23, 2010

Let me be first to encourage the Senator to allow doctors to pay their taxes in chickens.
posted by Malor at 6:10 PM on April 23, 2010

During the Great Depression, my grandfather, a small-town doctor in New Jersey, would accept chickens in lieu of cash. This was out of pragmatism, and I don't believe anyone was especially happy about it. I personally am glad I'm not living in the olden days.
posted by A dead Quaker at 6:13 PM on April 23, 2010

The worst part is all of this horrible disgusting bloody change for a chicken I'm carrying around in my pocket...
posted by Ron Thanagar at 6:14 PM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]

We face a lot of serious problems and growing/shifting pains in the country right now. No offense meant to the Clampetts, but we really can't afford to be electing many more Beverly Hillbillies to national positions right now.

I realize that there's a big chunk of the culture that's more than a little freaked out by future shock. But given the choose between mules and electric cars, my position is firm. Maybe it would be nice if we could create a national sacrifice region for people who badly want to live in the past. But that bridge is burned behind us.

Sarah Palin's been a good joke on the country, and all, but it's time to get serious about the screaming rubes on TV, the FOX 'News' team, et. al. We haven't got the time or energy to keep feeding these hungry bees.
posted by Twang at 6:15 PM on April 23, 2010 [9 favorites]

The original comment is actually not what's described in the FPP as such. It dates to April 6.

You are right.

You can watch her original statement made at a candidates' forum in clip from the Ed Schultz video (as posted above).

The video I posted in the "More Inside" is her "doubling down" on that comment during a televised appearance.

And her spokesperson "tripled down" on Lowden's position, as mentioned/linked to in the FPP.
posted by ericb at 6:16 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Facebook page: '1 Million Chickens for Sue Lowden.'
posted by ericb at 6:26 PM on April 23, 2010

This smacks of "let them eat cake" sentiment.

A point also made in the 'Las Vegas Sun' article to which Jahaza linked above.

"Beyond the damaging image of a 17th century aristocrat telling the ailing peasants to bring farm animals to the doctor — let them pay with chickens! — Lowden doesn’t seem to realize that much worse than seeming out of time and out of touch is this simple, ineluctable and, for her, unfortunate fact: Chickens are funny."

posted by ericb at 6:32 PM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

What are you expected to offer if you're a politician?

Hot air?

I'm a little bummed. Recently the good folks of Garner, NC, my home town, petitioned the city council to allow the town residents to raise chickens in their backyard-- just as the city folk in Raleigh do. The legislators responded with a big No to voting on changing the law. Only people with 1 acre lots are allowed-- which is less than 5% of the home owners. One of our illustrious city council women said she didn't want to change the law due to concerns that this would result in "pandemonium" which would lead to too many demands on the town police.

I'm bummed because my annual check-up is in 3 weeks and I can neither raise the chickens nor can I present them to my Doctor. Now what? How many cinnamon rolls equal 24 chickens?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:35 PM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

I barter the products of my labor with an employer. For cash. Which I can then use to pay the doctor.

But then, I live in the 21st century and this crazy woman lives in rural Nevada.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:39 PM on April 23, 2010

PS --
Q. WHy did the chicken cross the road?

A. To avoid being used to cover a pre-existing condition.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:39 PM on April 23, 2010 [11 favorites]

GOP: Chickens.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:45 PM on April 23, 2010

ericb... just to be clear, I think this is a really interesting story... that wasn't meant as a criticism. Heck, even the NY Times has reported the defense of the comment as the original comment.

This would certainly be a big black mark against her for me were I a Nevada primary voter. Heck, just the incompetence of the messaging shows how bad a candidate she is.

We face a lot of serious problems and growing/shifting pains in the country right now. No offense meant to the Clampetts, but we really can't afford to be electing many more Beverly Hillbillies to national positions right now. ... Sarah Palin's been a good joke on the country, and all, but it's time to get serious about the screaming rubes on TV, the FOX 'News' team

She may be an idiot, but she's not a country bumpkin. Lowden grew up in New Jersey. She went to American University in Washington, D.C. and Farleigh-Dickinson University in New Jersey. She's currently from Las Vegas which is not a rural backwater.

This kind of general ad hominem doesn't help Democrats win the rural votes they'll need to keep control of Congress.
posted by Jahaza at 6:49 PM on April 23, 2010

75 comments and nobody's mentioned that the Onion predicted this two months ago?
posted by teraflop at 6:50 PM on April 23, 2010

ericb... just to be clear, I think this is a really interesting story... that wasn't meant as a criticism.

I didn't take it as criticism. You were absolutely correct in your comment about what should be considered her "original" statement.
posted by ericb at 6:51 PM on April 23, 2010

Shit, I ate at Popeye's tonight. Could I have gotten a facelift out of my 3 fingers and a sie meal? an ingrown toenail removed, maybe?
posted by jonmc at 7:17 PM on April 23, 2010

What can I get for this old Color Me Badd CD?
posted by dirigibleman at 7:31 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

the Onion predicted this two months ago

Pfffft, the New York Times has been hammering away at this for years:
New Buying Power, Despite the Economy
Seeking Goods and Services, No Money Necessary
Trading What You Have for What You Need
The Cash-Strapped Turn to Barter
Bartering Expands in the Internet Age
Swapland
On Martha's Vineyard, Using Scallops as Currency
I’ll Trade You My ‘Titanic’ for Your ‘Spider-Man’
Once Again, New Yorkers Barter for a Place to Call Home
posted by peeedro at 7:42 PM on April 23, 2010

Here's the thing: If you're a farmer, you could barter some of your crops or livestock. If you're an house painter, maybe you could offer your house-painting services. What are you expected to offer if you're a politician?

bullshit, of course
posted by pyramid termite at 8:22 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

With my skill at choking a chicken, I'll definitely have a place in this new economy.
posted by maxwelton at 8:23 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Let me just say, up front, one of my kidneys is worth at least two goats -
posted by newdaddy at 8:45 PM on April 23, 2010

Someone has got to try to give her campaign a chicken donation.

Is there maybe a way to get something productive out of this along with some giggles? Maybe donate to Heifer in her name so she gets a thank-you for the chicken? I personally would find that hilarious, but better ideas welcome...
posted by naoko at 9:03 PM on April 23, 2010

Unbelievably, this chicken coop barter question was just posted on the Green.
posted by webhund at 9:08 PM on April 23, 2010

Someone has got to try to give her campaign a chicken donation.

You can totally order chicks, delivered by mail.
posted by found missing at 9:11 PM on April 23, 2010

If she ran with Orrin Hatch they would be Lowden/ Hatch. It just has a nice bizarre ring, don't you think?
posted by effluvia at 9:15 PM on April 23, 2010

Nevadan here, if our state decides to forget that the Senate is run on seniority and votes Reid out, the 48% cut to higher education we had recently will look generous.

Well, come on, Lowden will just round up all the state's chickens and barter with the federal government for more cash!

She may be an idiot, but she's not a country bumpkin. Lowden grew up in New Jersey. She went to American University in Washington, D.C. and Farleigh-Dickinson University in New Jersey. She's currently from Las Vegas which is not a rural backwater.

Then she should know better, which makes her stupidity even more execrable.

And I don't think anyone in here believes that Las Vegas is a rural backwater.
posted by blucevalo at 9:30 PM on April 23, 2010

I can't wait to see Reid's campaign ads.
posted by Soliloquy at 9:35 PM on April 23, 2010

This truly falls apart when you attempt to... mail chickens every month to your medical school student loan provider.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:50 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sounds ridiculous, but then I remember that one of my first-grade students often brings me chicken eggs, still warm from the innards of the hen. It's not how I'm paid, of course, but still...
posted by Huck500 at 9:56 PM on April 23, 2010

Just ran this plan with my dad, who's a doctor. Says it won't work, mostly because we're vegetarians and mom hates all that animal-parts/ blood thing in the kitchen.
posted by the cydonian at 10:11 PM on April 23, 2010

Toficken.
posted by blucevalo at 10:26 PM on April 23, 2010

Isn't this an anarchist kinda idea?
posted by Iron Rat at 10:35 PM on April 23, 2010

Says it won't work, mostly because we're vegetarians and mom hates all that animal-parts/ blood thing in the kitchen.

But, they make ideal pets.
posted by found missing at 10:37 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

"I can't wait to see Reid's campaign ads."
posted by Soliloquy


Ask and you receive. Not exactly Reid's campaign, but an ally.


Facing a venerable opposition leader, this is the best the republicans can come with. I know there are real intelligent conservatives left in the world, but where are they?
posted by Some1 at 11:03 PM on April 23, 2010

I know there are real intelligent conservatives left in the world, but where are they?

Well, some of them are Democrats now. And I don't say that to be grr grr grr, it just is that the Republicans have shifted into loony territory, which waters down the only other party out there. I've said it before, we need at least 3 ideological based parties, perhaps 4.
posted by edgeways at 11:08 PM on April 23, 2010

I have less chickens than dollars. Maybe I could bake a quiche instead.
posted by iamkimiam at 11:58 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

One appendectomy = 9,906 baby chicks?
posted by homunculus at 12:04 AM on April 24, 2010

Many Americans *do* negotiate their healthcare, but indirectly - they go bankrupt and their creditors negotiate a settlement.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 12:07 AM on April 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

73Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To avoid being used to cover a pre-exeggisting condition.

Oooh, you were so close!
posted by iamkimiam at 12:08 AM on April 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Q. Why did the chicken go back in time?
posted by Brian B. at 12:56 AM on April 24, 2010

A. To stop the egg-timer from hatching its devilish plan?
posted by iamkimiam at 1:02 AM on April 24, 2010

I've said it before, we need at least 3 ideological based parties, perhaps 4.

How about we don't give complete fucktards like Lowden full parties, and instead just marginalize them to irrelevance?
posted by kafziel at 1:09 AM on April 24, 2010

Q. Why did the chicken go back in time?

To feel like a million bucks again!
posted by Brian B. at 1:12 AM on April 24, 2010

Q. Why did the chicken go back in time?

To die at 35 and blame it on witches?
posted by dirigibleman at 1:34 AM on April 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

I meant her constituents, not the candidate herself. I suspect she'll carry rural Nevada (which I know all too well) handily, if people can stop cleaning their guns long enough to vote.

That she's a graduate of Fairleigh Dickinson explains the whole thing even more clearly, anyway.
posted by fourcheesemac at 5:04 AM on April 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

However, as a professor, it's fine with me if you want to pay your tuition in bottles of scotch. Good scotch.
posted by fourcheesemac at 5:05 AM on April 24, 2010

they go bankrupt and their creditors negotiate a settlement.

Negotiate -- or extract?
posted by blucevalo at 7:31 AM on April 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

It hasn't been mentioned yet, but it seems relevant: when doctors start to negotiate prices with patients, they get into tricky legal ground. Big Insurance Company X has a contract to provide Dr. Jones to provide her with 300 patients and in exchange Dr. Jones agrees to accept 75% reimbursement of her usual fee schedule from Big Insurance Company X. If Dr. Jones starts telling her patients she'll take out their appendix for 20 chickens, then Big Insurance Company X wants to know why she is charging their enrollees so much more. Medicare actually prosecutes physicians for fraud over this issue. Of course physicians can avoid this liability by not contracting with insurance or Medicare, or by working in a place that gets a special exemption for providing care to indigent people.

Maybe this is Lowden's point, that doctors are too heavily regulated or something?

She may be an idiot, but she's not a country bumpkin. Lowden grew up in New Jersey. She went to American University in Washington, D.C. and Farleigh-Dickinson University in New Jersey. She's currently from Las Vegas which is not a rural backwater.

None of these things negate Twang's brilliant observation about sending Hillbillies to solve complicated problems with simple old fashioned folk remedies. I think a lot of these self styled libertarian-minded Republicans may be well educated (Though attending American University certainly is no assurance of that). The problem is that they've decided the best way to consolidate their power is to appeal to the fear and stupidity among the masses. That's not leadership, that's exploitation.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:20 AM on April 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Q. Why did the chicken go back in time?
A. To feel like a million bucks again!

Hmmm, should I go the bills or ducks route with this one?
posted by iamkimiam at 10:01 AM on April 24, 2010

Bartering for goods and services could become particularly interesting in some parts of Nevada...

The problem is, what happens when you can't get a doctor in Las Vegas anymore?
posted by markkraft at 12:11 PM on April 24, 2010

(But really though, this policy is like a dog whistle for rural ignorance.)
posted by markkraft at 12:15 PM on April 24, 2010

In the "olden days" people used to be a hell of lot more sensible that knee-jerk pretend conservatives.
posted by clvrmnky at 12:29 PM on April 24, 2010

That she's a graduate of Fairleigh Dickinson explains the whole thing even more clearly, anyway.

Good ol' "Fairly Ridiculous," eh?
posted by Amanojaku at 9:57 PM on April 24, 2010

The problem is that they've decided the best way to consolidate their power is to appeal to the fear and stupidity among the masses. That's not leadership, that's exploitation

So well said, slarty. And it's also condescension of *exactly* the sort these right-wing elites pretending to be populist routinely accuse the left of fostering. Projection, of course.
posted by fourcheesemac at 8:15 AM on April 25, 2010

I was going to post this video earlier, but I forgot the URL. Just saw it again: Lowden plan dance remix
posted by delmoi at 8:28 AM on April 25, 2010

What is with this olden days crap? In the olden days... when the average life expectancy was 40? That was BETTER?

Yeah, you go ahead and go back there and die of consumption. I'm gonna continue paying my doctor in money until they find a way to make me bionic.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:47 AM on April 26, 2010

How did she even make it all the way to Nevada without dying of cholera? My wagon usually loses a wheel somewhere around the Kansas River.
posted by albrecht at 8:14 AM on April 26, 2010

We face a lot of serious problems and growing/shifting pains in the country right now. No offense meant to the Clampetts, but we really can't afford to be electing many more Beverly Hillbillies to national positions right now. ... Sarah Palin's been a good joke on the country, and all, but it's time to get serious about the screaming rubes on TV, the FOX 'News' team

She may be an idiot, but she's not a country bumpkin. Lowden grew up in New Jersey. She went to American University in Washington, D.C. and Farleigh-Dickinson University in New Jersey. She's currently from Las Vegas which is not a rural backwater.

This kind of general ad hominem doesn't help Democrats win the rural votes they'll need to keep control of Congress.

God forbid people start voting for candidates despite their beerworthyness. I thought we'd learned a bit about how deceptive that can be recently?
posted by butterstick at 12:53 PM on April 26, 2010

Sue Lowden now running TV ad claiming (wrongly) that chickens-for-checkups was "out of context"
posted by homunculus at 1:24 PM on May 8, 2010