Literary Superheroes

May 13, 2010 2:07 PM

Looking for literary superheroes? Behold the awesome powers of Charlotte, Emily, and Anne! (SLYT)
posted by GatorDavid (37 comments total)

This is great.
posted by ColdChef at 2:10 PM on May 13, 2010

Brontësaurus.

Yes.
posted by gurple at 2:12 PM on May 13, 2010

This is great.

By some definitions of great.
posted by Nothing... and like it at 2:12 PM on May 13, 2010

I laughed a lot more than I thought I would.
posted by Verdant at 2:13 PM on May 13, 2010

OK, that was seriously great.
posted by jbickers at 2:16 PM on May 13, 2010

"And I am Jayne Eyre. Just a plain jane. Or am I?"

"Um yes."
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 2:18 PM on May 13, 2010

"Pudding not included" put it over the top for me for some reason.
posted by JaredSeth at 2:20 PM on May 13, 2010

Yes!! The laser eyes should have just been laser eyes. Those punks needed to be vaporized plain and simple. I would have loved to see a commercial like this actually air. But then again I'm the sap that is actually pleased because of that detergent ad currently airing with the little girl sliding down a hill and getting dirty, since almost all of the "kids get things dirty!" ads feature boys.
posted by cashman at 2:23 PM on May 13, 2010

And I am Jayne Eyre.

Reader, I married Vera.
posted by kmz at 2:26 PM on May 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

The Hero of Thornfield Manor doesn't have quite the same ring to it though.
posted by kmz at 2:32 PM on May 13, 2010

"But the joke's on you, narrow-minded cur! We are women!"

love this!
posted by alynnk at 2:34 PM on May 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

Is it wrong that I want an action figure with a printing press?
posted by ODiV at 2:34 PM on May 13, 2010

Charlotte Brontë was pretty much already a superhero.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:37 PM on May 13, 2010

I liked this more than I expected to. Very amusing!

An obligatory: you go girls!
posted by chatongriffes at 2:37 PM on May 13, 2010

More action figures should definitely fling books. Take that, 19th-century-sexist dudes!
posted by emjaybee at 2:46 PM on May 13, 2010

The Brontësaurus is way better than the Apatowsaurus.
posted by mhum at 3:05 PM on May 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

More action figures should definitely fling books. Take that, 19th-century-sexist dudes!

That's not throwing, that's shooting books. This way, no one can say "you throw like a girl," and no one would say "you shoot like a girl," because regardless of how it's done, you still get shot. By a book, none-the-less.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:12 PM on May 13, 2010

One of my favorite Hark! A Vagrant comics is Dude Watchin' with the Brontës.
posted by Kattullus at 3:26 PM on May 13, 2010 [12 favorites]

"Throw the book at him, Carrot!"
posted by qvantamon at 3:28 PM on May 13, 2010

I love how perfectly they captured the tone of ads for action figures.
posted by moss at 3:34 PM on May 13, 2010

Personally, I'm ready for my synesthete tri-lingual Nabokov action figure with the Poshlost-Snap & Snag Butterfly Net.
posted by Haruspex at 3:44 PM on May 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

Make Branwell a kind of Bosley figure, and it would be perfect.
posted by bibliowench at 3:50 PM on May 13, 2010

Can I ...uh ...return the William S. Burroughs doll?


It ...did things.
posted by The Whelk at 4:09 PM on May 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

What are their special powers? Sending people instantly to sleep?
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:09 PM on May 13, 2010

Jayne Eyre had the power to make me grumpy in Sophomore English class.
posted by The Whelk at 4:12 PM on May 13, 2010

And Jane Austen has the power of making young women think they're more refined & sardonic than they actually are.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:21 PM on May 13, 2010

Next: Bloomsbury Group Voltron. If you know what I mean
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:41 PM on May 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

To hell with Charlotte, Emily is the literary shit! Unfortunately, if Charlotte is Superman (c'mon, work with me here) then Emily is Mon-El.
posted by The Confessor at 5:59 PM on May 13, 2010

I liked the little detail when the 'feminist' laser eyes breaks down the barrier, and the no girls allowed sign is charred just so to now read girls allowed. Nifty details sell the ad. I want one.
posted by sandraregina at 6:00 PM on May 13, 2010

Kids growing up nowadays, with their cheap plastic Brontë action figures. They'll never know the fun of a good, old-fashioned Ann Radcliffe doll.
posted by phooky at 6:16 PM on May 13, 2010

Reading club meets Sunday, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:19 PM on May 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh man, this is surprisingly awesome.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:35 PM on May 13, 2010

Thanks for posting this -- it's a wonderful parody and great fun.

I also lost it/started laughing at "pudding not included."

One of my favorite Hark! A Vagrant comics is Dude Watchin' with the Brontës.

Kattullus, thanks for that link -- I'd never seen it or the series before. It led me to the same comic (cross-)posted on Kate Beaton's livejournal. I wish she'd kept/included the title of the LJ entry, since I found it amusing as well ("get me off this freaking moor").
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 11:20 PM on May 13, 2010

BRONTESAURUS. Oh, yes. I have a special hate for Jane Eyre because I failed a class in high school in part because I refused to finish reading it because I was just all like "will you boring Victorian dorks just FUCK already" but I enjoyed this nonetheless.
posted by DecemberBoy at 11:59 PM on May 13, 2010

I dunno Emily vs. Charlotte, Charlotte wrote Villette which pretty much kicks ass in ways ass did not yet, at that time, know it could be kicked.

Don't get me wrong, Wuthering Heights is and was an exceptional novel, but Villette is the woman to Wuthering Heights' teen-age girl.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:52 AM on May 14, 2010

I need that receipt-paper printing press.
posted by DU at 5:04 AM on May 14, 2010

I have now removed everyone hating on Jane Eyre from my Make A Wish visit-before-dying list.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:41 AM on May 14, 2010