Experience one man's journey into self-disgrace ...

June 16, 2010 6:11 PM

Wax On, F*ck Off with Ralph Macchio. NSFW

"In his new movie, Ralph Macchio faces his toughest challenge yet; to become a Hollywood bad boy. With Karate Kid returning to the big screen, his career fading his friends and family are forced to stage an intervention. In order to re-establish himself in the entertainment industry he hits the streets of Los Angeles to show everyone how tough he can be."

posted by bwg (54 comments total)

Aw, he's so cute.
posted by headnsouth at 6:20 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Smiley-face coke pile makes it
posted by The Whelk at 6:23 PM on June 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

I want this to be real.
posted by Maude_the_destroyer at 6:25 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I AM SO BUMMED :(
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:25 PM on June 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

I would like to see Ralph Macchio vs Machete vs Alien vs Predator

... vs the BP Oil Rig.
posted by zippy at 6:38 PM on June 16, 2010

Stay gold, Ponyboy! Stay gold!
posted by inturnaround at 6:43 PM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Funny or Die: home of overcooked jokes.
posted by phaedon at 6:47 PM on June 16, 2010

Metafilter: home for the jaded.
posted by P.o.B. at 6:49 PM on June 16, 2010 [7 favorites]

Slogans: not just for breakfast anymore.
posted by inturnaround at 6:50 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'M NOT CHA-CHI MOTHERFUCKER!
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:50 PM on June 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

Metafilter: Slogans: not just for breakfast anymore.
posted by The Whelk at 6:51 PM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Metafilter:Metafilter:Metafilter:Recursive
posted by P.o.B. at 6:57 PM on June 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

Having never seen Karate Kid (either one) and being a fan of American superhero comics, I found this post very confusing.
posted by bettafish at 6:57 PM on June 16, 2010

So is that Arcade Fire song now the indie dramedy equivalent of putting George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone" in every movie trailer about a baby wearing sunglasses, a talking dog or a scrappy precocious 10-year-old whose father is played by the guy from Home Improvement?
posted by arto at 7:00 PM on June 16, 2010 [6 favorites]

He's 48?! Did he suck the life force from Dick Clark or something?
posted by quadog at 7:03 PM on June 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

So is that Arcade Fire song now the indie dramedy equivalent of putting George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone" in every movie trailer about a baby wearing sunglasses, a talking dog or a scrappy precocious 10-year-old whose father is played by the guy from Home Improvement?

Yes, I believe so. Which is not a criticism of this trailer - since it was satire (I think, and not an actual movie? Unless I'm wrong?) then it gets points for, you know, realizing the song had achieved this status.
posted by kbanas at 7:03 PM on June 16, 2010

I kinda liked the new one. I've been a Jacky Chan fan in my youth and liked his role in this film, finally anpart where he could act his age.

But was anyone else made uncomfortable by the preteen romance subplot? That
whole thing just made me
really uncomfortable.
posted by ts;dr at 7:03 PM on June 16, 2010

"a part"
posted by ts;dr at 7:04 PM on June 16, 2010

That was utterly predictable tripe.

Why did I enjoy it so?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:05 PM on June 16, 2010

So is that Arcade Fire song now the indie dramedy equivalent of putting George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone" in every movie trailer about a baby wearing sunglasses...

No, more like the new "Solisbury Hill."
posted by PlusDistance at 7:08 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

He was no teenager when he made The Karate Kid. He was 23.
posted by gngstrMNKY at 7:14 PM on June 16, 2010

OK... I pick die.
posted by punkfloyd at 7:15 PM on June 16, 2010

But was anyone else made uncomfortable by the preteen romance subplot?

As someone who teaches sixth graders, believe me, they're having romances. And they kiss.

As someone who WAS a sixth grader, once, I kissed Philip Price, right after he showed me the scab on his knee. It was moving. Then the rest of the sixth grade came careening around the corner of the building, shouting and taunting. I still bear the emotional scars.

The cuddle at the end made the whole trailer for me, though.
posted by Peach at 7:16 PM on June 16, 2010

Ralph Macchio is apparently Keanu Reeves without the enduring success.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:19 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

lulz
posted by Drasher at 7:27 PM on June 16, 2010

Having never seen Karate Kid (either one) and being a fan of American superhero comics, I found this post very confusing.

I remembering being about 14 years old and seeing Ralph Macchio's name as the editor of a Fantastic Four or something I'd bought, and it

blew

my

mind.
posted by Wataki at 7:27 PM on June 16, 2010

He needs to grow some facial hair..that would tough him right up.
posted by naplesyellow at 7:31 PM on June 16, 2010

Metafilter: Slogans: The breakfast of the jaded.
posted by sourwookie at 7:40 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

waiting for the sequel:

The Two Fuckin Yutes
posted by jeremy b at 7:47 PM on June 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

The only thing that would make this more perfect would be if they'd made a "My Cousin Vinny" reference.
posted by piratebowling at 7:48 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I dunno, he seemed pretty badass to me when he ran over "Johnny" with his car in Sweep The Leg.
posted by NoraCharles at 8:00 PM on June 16, 2010

That was magnificent. Thank you.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 8:19 PM on June 16, 2010

OK, that was hysterical.

I smell a Neil Patrick Harris-esque comeback.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:42 PM on June 16, 2010

He's 48?! Did he suck the life force from Dick Clark or something?

Every 100 years, they hold a lottery, and the winner gets to be immortal.

Ryan Seacrest is the most recent victor.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:44 PM on June 16, 2010

There can be only one!
posted by cazoo at 9:07 PM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

The look of disappointment on Phyllis Fierro's face when Ralph admits to never sleeping with anyone except her is fantastic.
posted by infinitewindow at 9:35 PM on June 16, 2010

I'm kinda "meh" about most of their stuff, but I really liked this one.
posted by Cyrano at 9:46 PM on June 16, 2010

I remembering being about 14 years old and seeing Ralph Macchio's name as the editor of a Fantastic Four or something I'd bought, and it

IIRC, that's a different person with the same name.
posted by grubi at 12:06 AM on June 17, 2010

Yep. The other Ralph Macchio works in the world of comics.
posted by grubi at 12:16 AM on June 17, 2010

48?

I didn't need to know that.
Really.
I didn't.
posted by madajb at 2:17 AM on June 17, 2010

waiting for the sequel:

The Two Fuckin Yutes

Did you say "yutes"? What is a yute?
posted by GeckoDundee at 2:31 AM on June 17, 2010

Funnier than you'd think it would be. Two thumbs up.
posted by Roger Dodger at 4:12 AM on June 17, 2010

I now feel embarrassed for Ralph Macchio.
posted by orme at 4:33 AM on June 17, 2010

I smell a Neil Patrick Harris-esque comeback.

I've heard that if the writers of Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle had been unable to get Neil Patrick Harris, Ralph Macchio was their second choice.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:54 AM on June 17, 2010

I enjoyed that.
posted by Dr. Wu at 5:30 AM on June 17, 2010

Wow. I can't believe how much I liked that. What is wrong with me?

The "I am so bummed :(" text - on a Blackberry! actually made me laugh out loud.
posted by peachfuzz at 8:01 AM on June 17, 2010

Ralph Macchio is apparently Keanu Reeves without the enduring success.

Keanu Reeves has enduring success?
posted by blucevalo at 8:47 AM on June 17, 2010

"Keanu Reeves has enduring success?"

What does your resume look like if you think this isn't enduring success??
posted by saturnine at 9:08 AM on June 17, 2010

I can't watch this here, but RM was on CBC Radio last night talking about this. It was awesome to hear him say "I just want to photograph you giving me a handjob, ok?" on public radio.
posted by swimming naked when the tide goes out at 9:47 AM on June 17, 2010

When he made the smiley face in the coke, he was using his Costco card.
posted by fatbird at 10:57 AM on June 17, 2010

Molly Ringwald's still pretty in pink.
posted by clarknova at 1:13 PM on June 17, 2010

Molly Ringwald's still pretty in pink.

I dunno, man. She's got a regular gig on Secret Life of the American Teenager which retroactively makes her an evil mutant devilspawn.

Then again, Mr Macchio had a recurring on Ugly Betty (He got dumped by Betty's sister for a tough guy - poor dude just can't catch a break).
posted by Sparx at 4:39 PM on June 17, 2010

This was totally adorable and I LOLed. And I don't do that shit usually.
posted by desuetude at 6:10 PM on June 17, 2010

Why was Jennifer Garner wearing a wig and pretending to be Molly Ringwald?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 2:39 AM on June 18, 2010