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Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?
June 21, 2010 2:52 PM   Subscribe

In 20 Years ... Upload a photo of yourself and the site produces a predictive illustration of what you'll look like in 20 or 30 years. And as an added bonus, you can toggle whether you're a drug addict or not.

Here's what they say teenybopper phenom Justin Bieber will look like 10 years after no remembers his name, and he's turned to drugs.
posted by crunchland (115 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
you can toggle whether you're a drug addict or not.
Alas, were it this easy!
posted by BeerFilter at 2:55 PM on June 21, 2010 [22 favorites]


I'm 59. Do I really want to know what I would look like at 79? Reality is bad enough.
posted by Danf at 2:56 PM on June 21, 2010 [7 favorites]


Jesus. This was sure depressing. I'm so depressed that I'm going to have to become a drug addict.
posted by josher71 at 2:58 PM on June 21, 2010 [6 favorites]


There should also be a toggle button for smoker/non-smoker and sun-worshiper/sunscreen addict because that plays a huge role in how you age.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:00 PM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Looks like the Bluth family is in it for some sweet sweet patent infringement dollars.
posted by griphus at 3:00 PM on June 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


I was wearing a hat in mine.
It aged my hat.
The future....it is now.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 3:02 PM on June 21, 2010 [25 favorites]


Holy shit! This is what they expect my toddler daughter to look like before her 22nd birthday.

The Internet is never wrong. Sorry, sweetie!
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:02 PM on June 21, 2010 [52 favorites]


The drug addict version of 50-year-old me might be the saddest thing I've ever seen. I just had a minor panic attack that no anti-drug PSA has ever given me.
posted by naju at 3:03 PM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's been an unforgiving couple of decades for 21-year-old meth addict Jayden, but he's still got that smile.
posted by cortex at 3:03 PM on June 21, 2010 [15 favorites]


So basically I'm going to look like I do now, but all contrasty. I think I can live with that.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 3:04 PM on June 21, 2010 [5 favorites]


Good god, putting infants through that thing is pure nightmare fuel. Or at least the beginning of one of Kaneda's weirder nights.
posted by griphus at 3:04 PM on June 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


I look like a cake made to look like me, but deceased. Perhaps I should pick a better photo.
posted by davejay at 3:04 PM on June 21, 2010 [7 favorites]


Good God. I am NEVER leaving my twenties.
posted by thanksfive at 3:05 PM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


I guess I'll have to do drugs constantly but never become addicted.
posted by The World Famous at 3:06 PM on June 21, 2010


Beer face just got bitterer, but only incrementally. Also, credit where due: the site correctly informed me that a picture of a banana is not a face.
posted by cortex at 3:07 PM on June 21, 2010 [6 favorites]


Uh oh. Drug addict me in 20 years looks more rugged and handsome than non-addict me in 20 years. What do I do?
posted by painquale at 3:08 PM on June 21, 2010 [12 favorites]


So apparently 20 years from now I will look exactly like I do now, except my glasses will have inexplicably gotten wider? Ooooookay. Sorry, dude, this site sucks.
posted by briank at 3:08 PM on June 21, 2010


I'm not sure what happened here but it looks like it aged the hockey mask I was wearing by putting a mustachioed face on it.
posted by griphus at 3:10 PM on June 21, 2010 [10 favorites]


Aww, it doesn't accept Muppets as having faces.
posted by painquale at 3:10 PM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


More interestingly, using a black-and-white cartoon face as the source manages to convince it it has the real deal, and reveals what looks like a generic overlay.

It may be that the just pre-generated a set of static images for the matrix of age, gender, and methheadedness, and are aiming for major facial features to resize/distort those for the provided face. Which is fairly underwhelming, if clever as a little hack.
posted by cortex at 3:11 PM on June 21, 2010 [15 favorites]


except my glasses will have inexplicably gotten wider? Ooooookay. Sorry, dude, this site sucks.

I suggest you put all of your retirement funds into Fatheadz.
posted by crunchland at 3:14 PM on June 21, 2010


Hopefully they don't make it, but here's Dick, Don, and George.
posted by gman at 3:14 PM on June 21, 2010


Apparently I'll be an African-American in 20 years.
posted by tommasz at 3:15 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


First, I tried this cake, and there was an issue finding the face. OK, how about a nice clown? Again, no face.

I'll stick to generating evil clown faces. They never let me down.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:16 PM on June 21, 2010


Brian Peppers also apparently does not have a face; less surprisingly, neither does the lady on the cover of Gatsby.
posted by cortex at 3:18 PM on June 21, 2010


Jesus Christ. Time to quit the drugs.
posted by gman at 3:21 PM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Uh oh. Drug addict me in 20 years looks more rugged and handsome than non-addict me in 20 years. What do I do?

Inject some of that Wittgenstein right into your brain vein, dude. First hit is always free. The second hit will likely require some analysis. :)
posted by joe lisboa at 3:21 PM on June 21, 2010


Apparently I'll be an African-American in 20 years.

Ah, Van Morrison Syndrome. It is a blessing.
posted by joe lisboa at 3:22 PM on June 21, 2010


Couldn't find anything more recent but uploaded an old pic of Leif Garrett. He aged remarkably well.
posted by hal9k at 3:26 PM on June 21, 2010


"Make your face look old for free"

Uhh... thank you?
posted by Crane Shot at 3:26 PM on June 21, 2010 [11 favorites]


I don't even look that much different. Huh.

denial is a wonderful thing....
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 3:30 PM on June 21, 2010


Joan Rivers.

Source photo here.

I don't know what's scarier.
posted by mazola at 3:30 PM on June 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


Well let's see how well it ha~ oh lorrrrrd

xbox game person kudo sinada
posted by boo_radley at 3:30 PM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Here's my 7 month old at twenty. Dear God, that's not even on the drugs.
posted by waitingtoderail at 3:32 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


HAHAHA!

It gave this photo an extra eye! I mean, I get that it's not a full frontal photo, but man, that's too funny.

Too bad it can only do one face per photo and doesn't let you chose which.
posted by Kimothy at 3:32 PM on June 21, 2010


Tried it with Betty White and she turned into Lyndsey Lohan.
posted by hal9k at 3:33 PM on June 21, 2010 [7 favorites]


There's a much more fun face transformer at University of St. Andrews Computer Science Dept.

You can make your face older, younger, switch sexes, change races, even see what you'd look like as a Boticcelli painting.
posted by the jam at 3:36 PM on June 21, 2010 [25 favorites]


My son, at the age of 22, will clearly be working in middle management.
posted by ook at 3:38 PM on June 21, 2010


Huh, my "older" photos are really ... blurry. Is that an effect of old age?
posted by lunasol at 3:41 PM on June 21, 2010


That's just your eyesight going.
posted by jjray at 3:42 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Upload a photo from 1990 and see how close the site gets.
posted by kurumi at 3:47 PM on June 21, 2010


What's the fun in this if I cannot instantly share the result with *ALL* of my Facebook pals?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:00 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


I uploaded a picture of me from twenty years ago; the "twenty years later" version looks nothing like me. My anecdata gives it Two Decades Of Fail.

(I'd like to see a de-ager--find out how badly that can go wrong.)
posted by tzikeh at 4:04 PM on June 21, 2010


I'm pretty sure Bieber will be wearing his hair differently in 2030.
posted by tigrefacile at 4:05 PM on June 21, 2010


Think he'll have a comb-over, or will he embrace his male pattern baldness?
posted by crunchland at 4:09 PM on June 21, 2010


In 20 years, I will have barely aged at all. ...Or is that "any more" - I don't know whether to be happy it isn't worse, or sad that I already look that age 20 years early (and, looking back through my photo album, have looked more or less that way for the last 10 years as well).
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:10 PM on June 21, 2010


...But you should see that old portrait of me up in my attic - yikes!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:11 PM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


even see what you'd look like as a Boticcelli painting.

That's my favorite one!
posted by Greg Nog at 4:15 PM on June 21, 2010


The site correctly informed me that a picture of my face is not a face.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:16 PM on June 21, 2010


Oh, wait. El Greco, not Botticelli. Much more keen, though.
posted by Greg Nog at 4:16 PM on June 21, 2010


Ceci n'est pas un visage.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:17 PM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Lauren Bacall c. 1950, age @ 25.
Lauren Bacall c. 1980 (according to this site), age 55.
Lauren Bacall
c. 2007, age 83.
posted by crunchland at 4:18 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Auxiliary site: Make Me Babies!, with the fun note "Congratulations! We have 22,886,914 babies!!!"

All it costs is $9.99 to $19.99 per month, which seems like a steal for a baby. Plus, you can make the babies go away with a simple text message. I'm still amazed by the future.
posted by filthy light thief at 4:18 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


It gave me an extra nose and took away my beard.
Both may actually be improvements.
posted by lekvar at 4:19 PM on June 21, 2010


Now I need a drink.
posted by Tchad at 4:19 PM on June 21, 2010


So I uploaded a photo and I looked like something that would hang upside down and thirst for human blood but then I took some drugs and DAMN I'M A HANDSOME FELLA.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:20 PM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Lauren Bacall c. 1950, age @ 25.
Lauren Bacall c. 1980 (according to this site), age 55.
Lauren Bacall c. 2007, age 83.


Perhaps a "check this box if you are a wealthy Hollywood star with a crack team of plastic surgeons and/or a person who wears entirely too much makeup" is in order.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:21 PM on June 21, 2010


i want what BOP's smoking.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:22 PM on June 21, 2010


Most comments in this thread begin with 'Jesus Christ", "Oh God", "HAHAHA", "Huh", "My Son/Daughter/mother/self/father/Lauren Bacall".
posted by Elmore at 4:26 PM on June 21, 2010


i want what BOP's smoking.

Have you seen how he looks recently?
posted by Elmore at 4:28 PM on June 21, 2010


Upload a photo from 1990 and see how close the site gets.

I really hope I don't look like this right now.
posted by Tchad at 4:29 PM on June 21, 2010


Weird, I clicked the button but then it showed a picture of Freddy Prince Jr. and then my doorbell rang and there was a guy there who gave me a cheque for $50. Pretty cool imo
posted by threetoed at 4:30 PM on June 21, 2010


derail

Sorry, flapjax you can't find this shit outside of Blount County.

But here's a helpful guide.

/derail
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:31 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Obviously screwed-up, since it didn't portray me as a sentient utility fog.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:33 PM on June 21, 2010


I suspect that this is actually an advertisement for drug addiction.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:38 PM on June 21, 2010


Well, I just put way too much thought into this.
posted by cortex at 4:42 PM on June 21, 2010 [17 favorites]


It gave me an extra nose and took away my beard.


It knows about your tragic hoverboard accident in 2026
posted by Senor Cardgage at 4:42 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Ok, I would have been 7 or 8 when this photo was taken. According to the '30 year' option, I have a lot of aging to do in the next couple of years. And all my facial hair is going to fall out.
posted by usonian at 4:45 PM on June 21, 2010


Holy Crap - I'm one hot old junkie.
posted by jivadravya at 4:46 PM on June 21, 2010


I'm not sure what happened here but it looks like it aged the hockey mask I was wearing by putting a mustachioed face on it.

Voorhees is that you? I knew you couldn't take Manhattan without going hipster.
posted by mannequito at 4:48 PM on June 21, 2010


This is apparently what I looked like at 32: a 59-year-old man who is prohibited by the terms of his probation by approaching to within 200 yards of a school or playground.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:52 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Joan Rivers looks like she is already decomposing.
posted by rageagainsttherobots at 4:52 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hunh. As I suspected, +30 years doesn't do anything to some people.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:55 PM on June 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


crunchland, dude, I don't need this. I am seeing the 20-years later real-thing portrait now every day when I look in the mirror...
posted by madamjujujive at 5:05 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


I already have this. It's called My Dad Cross Referenced With My Mom's Brothers.

and I don't loose the hair!
posted by The Whelk at 5:07 PM on June 21, 2010


Take heart. I uploaded a pic of myself from 1985 and told it to age me 30 years. OMG, what a hideous disaster that--here is my point--bears zero resemblance to me today.

This program takes as a given that everyone's face will go to pudding as time passes, but that is not the case with everyone.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:15 PM on June 21, 2010


Shane McGowan can't actually look any older than he does right now.
posted by tracicle at 5:16 PM on June 21, 2010 [5 favorites]


Holy Jesus Shitting on Lauren Bacall! You can feed the results back in as a source photo. Here I am at around 265 years old.
posted by battleshipkropotkin at 5:24 PM on June 21, 2010 [17 favorites]


Man, it turned me into Richard Nixon. Weak.
posted by letourneau at 5:49 PM on June 21, 2010


I've given it a few of Keith Richards to try and break it, but they all come out looking slightly younger.
posted by kersplunk at 5:56 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


My dog evidently doesn't have a face.

But, the nice thing, I took one their "after" photos and uploaded it as a before... it seems that, after 20 years, we stop aging... good news!
posted by HuronBob at 5:59 PM on June 21, 2010


heh... made me look about 30 years younger... and gave me an extra set of eyebrows... I like it.
posted by HuronBob at 6:04 PM on June 21, 2010


WHAT did it do to my GRANDMA?

The frames of her glasses have turned to melted flesh! Also, it opened her mouth. And made her a man!
posted by Coatlicue at 6:10 PM on June 21, 2010


I did several versions and the drug addicted me definitely ages better than the clean living version...excuse me while I go score some smack.
posted by squasha at 6:11 PM on June 21, 2010


oh and Coatlicue, do you suppose this means that in the future, our glasses will be surgically implanted?
posted by squasha at 6:12 PM on June 21, 2010


toggle whether you're a drug addict

The last acceptable bigotry.
posted by docgonzo at 6:13 PM on June 21, 2010


I said not to make me drug addict, but clearly I'll be doing a lot of T... and whatever it is that turns your eyes brown.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 6:16 PM on June 21, 2010


I don't want to do this, I'd rather just get an airbrushed version of my current mug on a white-T at the mall.
posted by nutate at 6:23 PM on June 21, 2010


I have this program! It's called My Reflection in the Subway Windows.
posted by zoomorphic at 6:24 PM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


All babies will be aliens in 20 years.
posted by Skygazer at 6:25 PM on June 21, 2010


If he were alive today...
posted by Philemon at 6:27 PM on June 21, 2010


I have scientifically aged cortex's comment by 20 years!

                             ^  ^
Well, I just put way t O O much thought into this.
                             /__\
                               ^
posted by oulipian at 6:28 PM on June 21, 2010 [9 favorites]


Hey hey, I got an extra pair of eyes. Tiny, dead eyes.
posted by oinopaponton at 6:50 PM on June 21, 2010


Meaner Girl (selected "drug addict" option).
posted by swell at 7:03 PM on June 21, 2010


Apparently, I'm going to retire from boxing after a disastrous final bout in 20 years. First, I'll have to take up boxing.
posted by ursus_comiter at 7:04 PM on June 21, 2010


Like tommasz--apparently I will change races in 20 years from asian to caucasian. Huh. And apparently my husband will look like a cheesy oil painting of himself in 20 years.
posted by ifjuly at 7:13 PM on June 21, 2010


Oddly, everyone is going to look identical 20 years from now!

I've got to say -- they're assuming a much greater rate of decay than I've experienced. I mean, I know what I looked like at 25, and I know what I look like now. I'm pretty sure their version is what I'll look like after five or ten years of menopause, but 40 is not 60, people.
posted by jrochest at 7:28 PM on June 21, 2010


Wanna do something fun? Put in a shot of Hunter S Thompson.
posted by Relay at 7:32 PM on June 21, 2010


I tried it out with the oldest picture I have of myself, about 9 years ago. It made me look rather... ordinary?
posted by rubah at 8:15 PM on June 21, 2010


I think I might look better as an old junkie than just old. Hmm.
posted by DrGirlfriend at 9:37 PM on June 21, 2010


A friend recently sent me some old pics he had from our drinky decade. I kinda look younger at 45 than I did at 25.

At 65, I plan to look like a kindergarten student.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:51 PM on June 21, 2010


Drug-fueled 20+ me is slightly less paedo than drug-free 20+ me. Brrr. Time to remind the wife that our wedding vows did include the words 'forever'. Brrrr.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:06 PM on June 21, 2010


In twenty years, I will have Brooke Shields' eyebrows, full lips, a perfect, straight, non-turned-up nose and the sort of cheekbones models long for, so long as I immediately become a drug addict. I love you, internet.
posted by thivaia at 10:10 PM on June 21, 2010


Most comments in this thread begin with 'Jesus Christ", "Oh God", "HAHAHA", "Huh", "My Son/Daughter/mother/self/father/Lauren Bacall".

Huh.
posted by Marla Singer at 10:23 PM on June 21, 2010


Apparently I'm going to look pretty much the same, just more weathered and lined. I'm totally okay with that.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:44 AM on June 22, 2010


In fairness, they're taking into account the effects of the nuclear war of 2019.
posted by Partial Law at 6:11 AM on June 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


In an ironic twist, Goatse man hasn't aged a bit.

Sorry. No link to that.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:13 AM on June 22, 2010


What a sham! My son is way cuter than this.
posted by stormpooper at 6:41 AM on June 22, 2010


Damn, my husband still looks pretty hot in 20 years.
posted by desjardins at 8:32 AM on June 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


I've given it a few of Keith Richards to try and break it, but they all come out looking slightly younger.

Truth. And sort of bronzed, actually:

test 1 (source)

test 2 (source)

And, ye Gods!, look what I came across searching for good Keef pix -- I may never sleep soundly again!
posted by mazola at 9:03 AM on June 22, 2010


And, ye Gods!, look what I came across searching for good Keef pix -- I may never sleep soundly again!

OH MY GOD YOU HORRIBLE PERSON WHY YOU DO THIS
posted by elizardbits at 10:45 AM on June 22, 2010


Isn't that a picture of the Emperor from Star Wars?
posted by crunchland at 10:49 AM on June 22, 2010


I am 31, oddly enough my twenty years later looks exactly like I did when I was 17. I can deal with that.
posted by stormygrey at 11:38 AM on June 22, 2010


Its kind of funny that "drug addicted" means skinnier face and what looks like charcoal war paint across your cheeks.
posted by stormygrey at 11:41 AM on June 22, 2010


There should be a switch to show you what you'll look like after reading Metafilter for 20 years.
posted by Skygazer at 1:15 PM on June 22, 2010


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