Water, Air, Fire, Suck
June 30, 2010 4:23 PM Subscribe
posted by PBR (267 comments total)
22 users marked this as a favorite
First, there was colossal miscalculation
. Something so bad it could make parable a four-letter word
. Didn't faze him. His next was "bizarrely compelling... Slower than watching a train wreck,"
but yet invoking, "that same level of disbelief."
It was also like swallowing spiky clusters of manure
. Maybe he had lost his mind
? But yet he rose again... Or should we say he blew? No really, it was the wind this time . A feeble gust of an environmental horror story. "You feel like you're not watching the end of the world but the end of a career."
Alas, like the undead, you cannot stop him. His latest, sitting at a paltry 0%* on the
, is whitewashed
, and offers an experience that's a headache-inducing
, husk that Roger Ebert called "agonizing... in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented."
It enchantingly makes, "Jake Lloyd’s performance in The Phantom Menace look studied."
And, "the Golden Compass... look like a four-star classic."
With $150 million spent on production, and $130 million on marketing alone
, has this "auteur"
finally created his masterpiece
? Or will it be the Last Straw® (in 3d
*Change that- Scott Bowles
had to go ruin the party.