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F is for Cookie
July 31, 2010 11:28 AM   Subscribe


 


The End
posted by Obscure Reference at 11:34 AM on July 31, 2010


I once got a fortune cookie reading "Love is the law, love under will".

Aliester Crowley in my fortune cookies, man.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:42 AM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


My mom and I had lunch together at a Chinese place yesterday. Her fortune cookie had a bible verse in it.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 11:44 AM on July 31, 2010


Sounds like someone needs to open up the "stick with your wife" barrel...
posted by AloneOssifer at 11:52 AM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Previously.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:56 AM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


You know, I have never posted an FPP to Metafilter because I always felt too intimidated.

I have to wonder why.
posted by Decani at 11:56 AM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


Decani, people take this site far too seriously sometimes. 'Post and be happy.' You can put that on a fortune cookie if you like.
posted by Fizz at 11:58 AM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


My favorite one ever said, "You will receive a fortune (cookie)." And I'll be damned if it wasn't telling the truth.
posted by katillathehun at 12:07 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


Decani, people take this site far too seriously sometimes. 'Post and be happy.' You can put that on a fortune cookie if you like.
posted by Fizz at 2:58 PM on July 31

Sometimes? :-)
posted by Decani at 12:10 PM on July 31, 2010


A couple of years ago I got a fortune cookie that read, "Enjoy life while you can". All of my dining mates agreed that sounded a bit ominous.

I've tried to soldier on since then, but do you have any idea how hard it is to enjoy life while constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop??

I feel that YouTube guy's pain.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:10 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I always get a kick out of this classic Upright Citizens Brigade Fortune Cookie sketch.
posted by PHINC at 12:50 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I once received the best fortune cookie fortune of all time.

Are you ready?

"Our first love, and last love, is self love."
posted by SansPoint at 1:07 PM on July 31, 2010


Fortune cookie horror story in 3 words:

"You are dead"
posted by storybored at 1:23 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


"You are dead"

"No John, you are the sweet and sour chicken!"

And then John was was a nugget.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:37 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Fortune cookie horror story in 3 words: "You are dead"

in bed
posted by hal9k at 1:47 PM on July 31, 2010




Both the main post's video and the (New) Twilight Zone clip from Smart Dalek needed more fortunes to build the premise, which the Upright Citizens sketch did better at. But Elliot Gould was so cute wih his little mustache...

Of course you can always game the system with custom fortunes.

"You will overthink a plate of bean sprouts"
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:52 PM on July 31, 2010


St. Alia of the Bunnies: "My mom and I had lunch together at a Chinese place yesterday. Her fortune cookie had a bible verse in it."

John 3:13 (in bed)
posted by Bonzai at 4:58 PM on July 31, 2010


My favorite was the one that said "Ignore previous cookie."
posted by Samizdata at 6:04 PM on July 31, 2010


Help!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:47 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Once, my aunt got a cookie that said, "Be open to new experiences." We all said, "In bed!" and had a chuckle.

Then my uncle opened his cookie. It read, "All your friends will soon be joining you."
posted by Scattercat at 7:40 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I liked this.

One totally random reaction to this video:

How in god's name is it that every man, woman and child on this entire planet besides me seems to have on their wall that annoying French cat poster visible right here?
posted by koeselitz at 9:03 PM on July 31, 2010


I just realized that the oft-quoted bible verse is John 3:16 not 3:13. I'm not much of a bible person.
posted by Bonzai at 9:32 AM on August 1, 2010


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