A Road Trip to Find Love…

August 16, 2010 2:17 PM

30 Dates. 30 Days. 30 Cities. "Kevin Richberg, a 32-year-old gay man (and good man) from Boston, is looking for the love of his life. He’s picked an unusual way to find him." (Interview with Kevin.)

"Life is an adventure! I’m making the most of mine by grabbing hold of this great opportunity to throw myself head first into the dating pool. When I first came up with this idea, it definitely seemed a little far-fetched and logistically difficult. The sense of challenge was how I knew I had to go for it. I’ve never heard of anyone who succeeded in their search for a life partner by sitting on a couch eating string cheese watching Desperate Housewives. I don’t yet know where I’d like to move to next, my urge for travel is insatiable, and it’s time for me to seriously explore the dating world. So… I’m sandwiching them all together into one insane adventure: starting October 1st 2010."

posted by andoatnp (20 comments total)

I did this in 1996 when I was younger and more attractive. And here I am 15 years together happily living with one of the men I met on the trip!

His previous adventures page is impressive.
posted by Nelson at 2:21 PM on August 16, 2010

Question: Are you trying to get a book deal?

/obligatory

I guess good on him to be able to afford such an adventure, though I can't imagine that this process is any better than online dating or meatspace hobbies in finding a long-term partner.

Seems gimmicky. I guess that's the idea. The "essays" ... don't bode well if it's a book pitch.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:26 PM on August 16, 2010

And if this fails, there's always Craigslist.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:29 PM on August 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

This is a much better idea than my old plan of attack: 30 days, 30 days, 1 city.

Because once you find the guy worth keeping, you just keep tripping over those other 29 guys, no matter how large the city is.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:39 PM on August 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Sound like it would make a great Julia Roberts movie!
posted by helmutdog at 2:49 PM on August 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

This is a much better idea than my old plan of attack: 30 days, 30 days, 1 city...
I can see what you mean about the complications, but your carbon footprint was a mere fraction, so you can feel good about that.
posted by Abiezer at 3:02 PM on August 16, 2010

OMG! He's actually rather handsome and sounds fairly reasonable. I hope this adventure brings him closer to what he seeks to find.
posted by kuppajava at 3:51 PM on August 16, 2010

I suggest that he has a spotter or at least carrys a stun gun or mace. I mean, he is putting himself out there. Otherwise, you go handsome.
posted by Splunge at 5:07 PM on August 16, 2010

mrgrimm: The "essays" ... don't bode well if it's a book pitch.

You're just jealous. I mean, who could fail to appreciate the imagery of My friend Kristie got called up to the contestant’s row and my goosebumps exploded?
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:11 PM on August 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

Abiezer: I can see what you mean about the complications, but your carbon footprint was a mere fraction, so you can feel good about that.

Yes, it was totally that. Not at all that I was too lazy.

(Actually, I'm constantly surprised, even as someone not looking, how many awesome guys there are in reach by public transportation.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:42 PM on August 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

He's actually rather handsome and sounds fairly reasonable.

Is he supposed to be not handsome and unreasonable?
posted by blucevalo at 8:22 PM on August 16, 2010

He's actually rather handsome

Holy massive understatement Batman. How is it that a young, very attractive, articulate young man is having to resort Nora Ephron movie plot extremes to find a partner? I mean - What The Fuck does it mean for a slightly worn, pudgy, snarky middle aged man like myself. I don't know whether to wish him well or cock punch him.
posted by helmutdog at 9:48 PM on August 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

Ugh. This guy looks like a total nightmare, and confirms my smug satisfaction about being the kind of guy who can go for years without that sort of uncontrollable panicky drive to be in a relationship at all costs. Or rather, TO FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE OMG I'M TURNING FORTY AND MY LIFE IS COMPLETELY EMPTY WITHOUT THE ONE TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE TO BE MY HUSBEAR!!!

Sheeesh.

I loved this quote:

"So when I find the right person to settle down with, I’ll definitely turn from crazy travel adventurer into wild and wonderful husband and dad."

Yeah, I'm sure that's how it's going to work out. You make a big contrived PR-based trip to find the love of your life via the most unnatural pathway to love imaginable, after a long history of rootlessness, and of course you're going to suddenly settle down and be a loving homebody to tend to your gayby boom trophy kid and the same guy, forever and ever, that you picked with as much romance as doing a multi-city search on Craigslist.

At least his love journey is starting right about when Cathy is finally ending its thirty-four year epic of cultivated bouts of shivering, skincrawly need, so we can just jump right to the next cringeworthy saga of attempted completion without ever facing the risk of having to understand how love and relationships really work.
posted by sonascope at 3:41 AM on August 17, 2010 [3 favorites]

Ugh. This guy looks like a total nightmare, and confirms my smug satisfaction about being the kind of guy who can go for years without that sort of uncontrollable panicky drive to be in a relationship at all costs.

Just going on a hunch, he probably didn't have the time or energy for a "proper" relationship while studying for a graduate degree at MIT, and is probably more than a little bit eager to be thrown back into the dating pool.
posted by schmod at 7:12 AM on August 17, 2010

Is he supposed to be not handsome and unreasonable?

I was going to suggest that Beautiful, Talented, Successful Person Seeks, Finds Happiness isn't exactly the most popular title on the shelves of the supermarket aisle, except unfortunately that's precisely what is popular on the shelves, which sucks.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:02 AM on August 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

I think it's kind of cute, and sounds like he'll have fun one way or another anyway, even if he doesn't find The One.

I do kind of have to concur that I wonder if someone who really loves adventure is going to be happy "settling down", though. Must getting coupled with kids mean that you can never travel again so he'd better cram it all in now? I'd like to think that they could all go road tripping eventually, or something.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2010

I'm glad you guys have brought up this "settling down" question because it makes me realize what rubbed me the wrong way about the whole thing. There are lots of people in the world who see getting into a relationship as the end of the adventure, but not to sound too cliched, but any relationship I've had worth having, the relationship was the BEGINNING of the adventure.

(And I don't mean that in the "look at us and the life we are starting together with the house and the cats and the shopping at Crate and Barrel" (though all those things are awesome) -- I mean, the right guy for me is "you + me = the party is finally starting")
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:24 PM on August 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

And I don't mean that in the "look at us and the life we are starting together with the house and the cats and the shopping at Crate and Barrel" (though all those things are awesome) -- I mean, the right guy for me is "you + me = the party is finally starting"
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:24 PM on August 17 [1 favorite +] [!]

Holy shit dude. That's so awesomely romantic, I going to have to shoot someone.
posted by helmutdog at 3:36 PM on August 17, 2010

helmutdog: Holy shit dude. That's so awesomely romantic, I going to have to shoot someone.

THAT's the kind of action I'm talking about!

(just kidding...though I have also described love as that feeling you get when the person you want to hug is also the person you'd call when you have a body to bury, so maybe I'm not quite the guy to go to for romantic words.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:51 PM on August 17, 2010

One of my friends did this on a cross country trip after graduating from law school. In some towns he stayed with friends and hung out with them. But if he knew ahead of time he would be staying in a hotel in an unfamiliar city, he would go on J-Date and try to set up a date with someone. Just so he wouldn't be too lonely, and to learn a little bit more about the city -- get a local's persepctive as it were. (I think he might have also been looking for some action, but I'm not sure J-Date was the right venue for that :) ).
posted by bluefly at 6:44 PM on August 17, 2010