Zero Views

August 27, 2010 2:44 AM

Zero Views: The best of the worst of YouTube.
posted by sveskemus (29 comments total)

zero comments!

oh damn
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 3:03 AM on August 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

A .biz address, eh? What's the business model?

1. Create site that collects videos nobody watches.
2. Foster "buzz"; go "viral."
3. ???
4. Profit!!
posted by chavenet at 3:23 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

The best of the worst of YouTube.

Those videos suck-diddly-ucked. Not hard to see why no one watches them. Then there's only three pages of these "best of the worst", whatever that means ---> (Man, that steaming pile of shit is the best steaming pile of shit out of all the steaming piles of shit, still steaming, still shit.)
posted by IvoShandor at 3:34 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

To be fair, some of the best videos I've seen have had shockingly few views, and some of the stupidest shit ever seems to get thousands of hits.

Youtube may be many things to many people, but a meritocracy it is not.

That said, these videos are pretty unremarkable. They aren't even bad enough to be interesting.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:48 AM on August 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

To be fair, some of the best videos I've seen have had shockingly few views

Oh, I agree. Space Alone comes to mind. Which until it was on the blue (and probably elsewhere), had very few views (if I remember correctly). But man, these videos were just bad.
posted by IvoShandor at 3:59 AM on August 27, 2010 [4 favorites]

I loved the stealth armpit check from the kid with the gum.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:04 AM on August 27, 2010

Best of worst of youtube? ... double
posted by sebastienbailard at 4:57 AM on August 27, 2010

Here's a good game I learned. When somebody sends you a link to a YouTube video, click on the sidebarred video with the fewest views. Then click on the least-viewed sidebar video for that video. Repeat until every video on the sidebar has at least as many views as the video you're watching. Then e-mail the final video without comment to the person who originally wrote you.

I find I don't get sent as many YouTube videos as I used to.
posted by escabeche at 5:40 AM on August 27, 2010 [11 favorites]

I'm highly amused that not even the people who posted those videos watched them. Not even to check if the video posted correctly.
posted by yeolcoatl at 5:42 AM on August 27, 2010

Of course now that they've been viewed it pretty much screws up the premise of the site.
posted by bwg at 5:43 AM on August 27, 2010

Some of the stupidest shit ever seems to get thousands of hits.

You just think this because you don't understand the deep symoblic meaning of the "Cat Riding a Roomba" video epic. It's actually being used as foreshadowing to give us a glimpse of our future empire built on the backs of robot slaves, who will eventually achieve sentience and overthrow us, sending us running from the planet with our tails raised and our backs arched.
posted by edbles at 5:47 AM on August 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

the problem is that some of the worst things do get viewings. after all how can someone tell if something is really bad?

case in point
posted by lester's sock puppet at 5:54 AM on August 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

this is sort of hypnotic
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:01 AM on August 27, 2010

I don't think this person is a good curator.
posted by Mister_A at 6:04 AM on August 27, 2010

Finding the horrible and obscure on You Tube?
That doesn't sound very challenging.
posted by PHINC at 7:11 AM on August 27, 2010

This song isn't terrible.
posted by jejune at 7:11 AM on August 27, 2010

Any one want to help me start a site called, 42 views?
posted by Increase at 7:18 AM on August 27, 2010

I contend that this is the best of the worst on YouTube.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 7:23 AM on August 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

How does someone bother uploading a video and not even bother re-watching it to make sure it uploaded correctly?
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:51 AM on August 27, 2010

Watching a YouTube with barely any views is such a gamble. In most cases it is just a huge waste of time, but when the video is great you feel like some sort of internet savant.

I remember being able to watch Colin's Bear Animation when it had like <100 views. I felt like an internet elite (video content aside).
posted by Widepath at 8:17 AM on August 27, 2010

I once uploaded a stupid video to YouTube when I was checking to see if the video capability on my camera worked. It was about 20 secs of my desk, and I forgot about it. Three years later, I got a comment: 'OMG this is the gayest video ever made whoever made it should be shot through the head for being so GAY!'
posted by mippy at 8:21 AM on August 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

self link - this deserves more than 61 views
posted by Meatbomb at 8:40 AM on August 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Yeesh.
posted by jnrussell at 8:59 AM on August 27, 2010

Oh my god Lester's Sock Puppet. What the hell is this? I'm seriously don't know what to think about this Zan Hoffman character. That vid you posted looks like he's performing for his 5 year old in his living room, but I'll be damned if some of those vids he has some a room full of people rocking the fuck out. My brain hurts just thinking about this.

He's like the love child of Wesley Willis and Dan Deacon. And I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.
posted by daHIFI at 9:06 AM on August 27, 2010

I don't think I've ever been actively appalled by someone's gum chewing technique.
posted by cmoj at 9:30 AM on August 27, 2010

the problem is that some of the worst things do get viewings. after all how can someone tell if something is really bad?

case in point

What is this I don't even
posted by cj_ at 11:29 AM on August 27, 2010

If I really want to cut my own aesthetic throat, I usually search on YT for phrases like "my audition," "me dancing," or "acting reel."
posted by tunewell at 12:49 PM on August 27, 2010

How does someone bother uploading a video and not even bother re-watching it to make sure it uploaded correctly?

Leading Causes:
1. Alcohol
2. Psychedelics
3. Shiny Things
posted by mannequito at 12:51 PM on August 27, 2010

Meatbomb's self link above
is a live-action Pixar microepic: Schipoli--The Little Cart that Wouldn't Link with a pixaresque performance by the nutty nonconformist, making his own way in a universe of follow-the-leader drones. It's a work of such sheer genius you can see right through it. THAT sheer!
posted by hexatron at 3:36 PM on August 27, 2010