Rude Food Names
September 13, 2010 8:40 PM   Subscribe

Rude Food Names

That is all.
posted by turgid dahlia (43 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
More inside, and THAT IS ALL? ....oh, wait, pee cola and jussipussi? I forgive you.
posted by not_on_display at 8:43 PM on September 13, 2010


You can see some how things can be lost in translation - holy fuck! - "Fudge Tracks"!! - from Dreyers!!!

This post is so juvenile. And so utterly awesome.
posted by helmutdog at 8:45 PM on September 13, 2010


LOL! this post is full of win :D
posted by liza at 8:47 PM on September 13, 2010


This post is full of fudge. Fudge filled. In all definitions.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:50 PM on September 13, 2010


A kumquat, by any other name, would sound as doable.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 8:51 PM on September 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


What's the site hosted on, an Apple II?
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 9:07 PM on September 13, 2010


What about root beer?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:08 PM on September 13, 2010


Frankly turgid dahlia I expected better from you!

That, and Collon cookies are really quite good, especially those filled with brown stuff.
posted by sunshinesky at 9:10 PM on September 13, 2010


There's this chain of all-night diners from the 1940's here in Toronto called "Fran's" and they used to have an item on the menu called a "Hot Open Franburger," which I always thought sounded so dirty.
posted by chococat at 9:13 PM on September 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


What's the site hosted on, an Apple II?

Yeah I guess I should apologise for that, the site is really chuggy, but they had me at "Fart Drink" and I just thought it rude keep it to myself when there are other ten year olds out there also in need of a giggle.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:15 PM on September 13, 2010 [2 favorites]


There's a legendary mixed drink: a slow, comfortable screw up against the wall.

It's Slo Gin, Southern Comfort, Galliano, and orange juice. I never knew anyone who ordered one, and frankly it sounds like it would taste terrible.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:18 PM on September 13, 2010


(and I couldn't reach the site. Did we kill it with love?)
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:18 PM on September 13, 2010


I can testify that Cockburns port does exactly what it says on the tin, if you drink enough of it to test it...
posted by Blasdelb at 9:19 PM on September 13, 2010


I hanker for a hunka Jungle Skum. (wait on it)
posted by DaddyNewt at 9:19 PM on September 13, 2010


Wow, Dickens Cider, that's just, deep.
posted by thusspakeparanoia at 9:21 PM on September 13, 2010 [3 favorites]


I would have laughed more, but I have seen literally almost every single one of these before. There used to be a site just called "Rude Food" that did the same exact thing, except with funny write-ups.

Also this guy kind of misses the point of his own joke by including things that are obviously (trying to be) funny on purpose, like "Rectal Rocket Fuel."

Still, good to see some classics again.
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:28 PM on September 13, 2010


I can't actually get anything to load, but I believe I can safely assume it needs more spotted dick.

But that's true of most sites.
posted by loquacious at 9:41 PM on September 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


Came looking for Pocari Sweat, left satisfied.

Well, not satisfied so much as vaguely grossed out and too scared to try it, actually.
posted by mollymayhem at 9:42 PM on September 13, 2010


And now I'm on the food page. My boss brought me the Donkey Balls when I housesat for him. It was amusing, but awkward.
posted by mollymayhem at 9:45 PM on September 13, 2010


Pocari Sweat is pretty satisfying, mollymayhem. Very much a hot-day drink.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:46 PM on September 13, 2010


Wow, Dickens Cider, that's just, deep.

My last name is somewhat similar phonetically to Dickens, and some friends in college (15 years ago) suggested that I go into the cider business. They also recommended that I have a line of nut products, that would be marketed as being suckable in some fashion.

We were in college.
posted by LionIndex at 9:52 PM on September 13, 2010


And I open this post just after being informed of the existence of pizookie, which looks delicious.

It's a dessert AND an amazing swear word.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:07 PM on September 13, 2010


I can't actually get anything to load, but I believe I can safely assume it needs more spotted dick.

Actually it does cover spotted dick! Which is delicious.
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:21 PM on September 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


Gervais tries his hand.
posted by spasm at 10:31 PM on September 13, 2010


The blue bag of death?

A-and here's one I found.
posted by chavenet at 10:41 PM on September 13, 2010


I'm disappointed there isn't more info, just the bare pictures.

And I was just on the island of Hawaii a couple of weeks ago, where there are giant inflatable donkeys hawking Keoki's Donkey Balls in several places.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 11:25 PM on September 13, 2010


He didn't list "Tentacle Grape"!
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:36 PM on September 13, 2010


I've posted this before.
In Spain; for breakfast you can have your Bimbo and Bonka.
posted by adamvasco at 3:43 AM on September 14, 2010


Pocari Sweat is pretty satisfying

Pocari sweat is the nectar of the gods when you've eaten a bit too much hot pot and haven't left the bathroom for the last three days!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 4:39 AM on September 14, 2010


WHat, no poo tofu sticks or cans of shitto (from bad brand names)
posted by dabitch at 5:03 AM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


There's a legendary mixed drink: a slow, comfortable screw up against the wall.

We had learned that there was also the "slow comfortable screw, up against the wall, on the dark side of Mexico city"

In addition to the ingredients that you mention, the "screw" was supposed to be vodka (for screwdriver) - or maybe it was just the OJ as you mentioned above...

"Dark" was supposed to be dark rum (i think), and "Mexico city" was supposed to be tequila.

Also FWIW, Galliano was used for the "wall" part (the Harvey Wallbanger).

But you are indeed right - it probably tastes disgusting.
posted by bitteroldman at 6:10 AM on September 14, 2010


I remember eating Mr Brain's Faggots as a child. I'm okay now, though.
posted by Decani at 6:33 AM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I remember eating Mr Brain's Faggots as a child. I'm okay now, though.

I drank a lot of Brains SA in my 20's. Now I need glasses.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:50 AM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I love this stuff - I have a few examples I've found throughout South America on my blog.
posted by jontyjago at 7:02 AM on September 14, 2010


Fucking broccoli.

I used to eat cow brains and face before I was vegetarian.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:02 AM on September 14, 2010


Fucking broccoli.

How does it work?
posted by owtytrof at 11:56 AM on September 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


My boyfriend in college went to Mexico and brought back a picture of himself beside a Bimbo truck. I always loved that America had Hostess and Mexico had Bimbo.
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:20 PM on September 14, 2010


"Piddle Hole" (in the drinks section) should really be "Piddle in the Hole". Not that it's much of an improvement. It's a half decent brew considering it's about quid a bottle from Morrisons.

Cockburns is always fun to try and explain to non-English English speakers. Spent best part of an hour of a Christmas trying to convince a Greek co-worker that it was "Coburns". Not even the barman's laughs would convince him I wasn't winding him up.
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 1:35 PM on September 14, 2010


Hey, there's Bog, the Norwegian spam I love so much that I've already mentioned it twice on MeFi!
posted by hot soup girl at 7:10 PM on September 14, 2010


There's a legendary mixed drink: a slow, comfortable screw up against the wall.

There's a whole bunch of those cutesy suggestive drinks. My gf refers to them as date-rape drinks.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 7:19 PM on September 14, 2010


Glad to see Mr Brain's Pork Faggots made it. As an American in Sainsbury's, that made my vacation.
posted by spamguy at 5:50 AM on September 15, 2010


Dude missed Nut Poppers, which I used to see a lot in the snack aisle of Big Lots, which made me think the name had gotten the line discontinued.
posted by aught at 8:14 AM on September 15, 2010


There's a whole bunch of those cutesy suggestive drinks. My gf refers to them as date-rape drinks.

What, no Blow Job?

I had a "Call-a-Cab" (some sort of 64-oz frozen daiquiri) sometime around 3 am Jan 1, 2000 in Miami. The next thing I knew I was waking up naked on the beach at noon.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:01 PM on September 15, 2010


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