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A New Gayness World Record
September 20, 2010 7:52 AM   Subscribe

Queering the Guinness Book of World Records: at 33 hours, Matty and Bobby have achieved the world's longest kiss.
posted by hermitosis (67 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
Interview with Matty and Bobby.

Their Facebook page.
posted by ericb at 7:59 AM on September 20, 2010


7. Incontinance [sic] pads or adult nappies/diapers are not allowed.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:00 AM on September 20, 2010


BTW -- they "...are 'friends' and not a couple, and say they did it to raise awareness about homophobia and increase acceptance of LGBT people." *
posted by ericb at 8:01 AM on September 20, 2010


I always knew The Guinness Book of World Records was all about queries.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:02 AM on September 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Six weeks ago, link to a pop up filled three paragraph site, a record that could be broken in well, 35 hours. Nothing but a stunt that sort of makes the gay community look silly.
posted by timsteil at 8:04 AM on September 20, 2010


Makes for a good ice breaker line. "Hey there, I've got the world record for kissing."
posted by Babblesort at 8:05 AM on September 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


...a record that could be broken in well, 35 hours.

That's nothing. It would only take 3 minutes 43 seconds to beat the record for running a mile!
posted by Jugwine at 8:09 AM on September 20, 2010 [37 favorites]


Six weeks ago, link to a pop up filled three paragraph site, a record that could be broken in well, 35 hours. Nothing but a stunt that sort of makes the gay community look silly.

Actually, they did the kiss this weekend. Also, could you elaborate on how it makes the gay community look silly?
posted by hermitosis at 8:09 AM on September 20, 2010


At most, it only makes two people look silly. The rest of the populace needn't be implicated.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:12 AM on September 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Also, could you elaborate on how it makes the gay community look silly?

The rest of the populace needn't be implicated, but it only took 19 Muslims to make everybody think all the rest of 'em were terrorists.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 8:15 AM on September 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Right, because the non-gay rest of the world isn't silly at allllllllll.

UP WITH GAY SILLY!
posted by Madamina at 8:16 AM on September 20, 2010 [6 favorites]


kissing is so gay.
posted by philip-random at 8:17 AM on September 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


9/18-19 NEVAR 4GIT
posted by Burhanistan at 8:17 AM on September 20, 2010


could you elaborate on how it makes the gay community look silly?

Because they were two people sharing a same-sex kiss for a ridiculously long time! And all gay people are totally responsible for anything anyone who is gay or might be gay does! That is how it works!

You think, by now, we would realize that, sometimes, a kiss is just a kiss, even if it is 35 hours long.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:19 AM on September 20, 2010


I agree with Madamina. There is no reason why the gay community should be held to higher standards of seriousness than the straight community is. Silliness is a part (not the most important part, but still a part) of the common heritage of humanity.
posted by grizzled at 8:19 AM on September 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


BTW -- they "...are 'friends' and not a couple

Talk about stretching the definition of "strictly platonic"
posted by schmod at 8:20 AM on September 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes bi
posted by Gratishades at 8:21 AM on September 20, 2010 [11 favorites]


There was a time, not very long ago, where this kind of stunt would have been impossible. The news media would have refused to cover it. Guinness would have ignored it as an illegitimate attempt. It would be as if the gay kiss never happened.
posted by Nelson at 8:21 AM on September 20, 2010 [18 favorites]


Were they sponsored by Red Bull Chapstick?
posted by chavenet at 8:22 AM on September 20, 2010


Do all "Guinness World Records" make it in the book?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:23 AM on September 20, 2010


UP WITH GAY SILLY!

This, in Latin, on the edges of all our currency.
posted by hermitosis at 8:25 AM on September 20, 2010 [13 favorites]


Wait, there's a gay community now?
posted by sonascope at 8:26 AM on September 20, 2010


This is awesome. I'd love to see all sorts of "alternative" people set records and send all the christian-talibany folks a-tea-partyin'.
posted by nevercalm at 8:28 AM on September 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Flagged for being too silly. I don't know what these extremely silly men were trying to accomplish, but I for one can't bring myself to accept homosexuality as a valid lifestyle choice until all of 'em are reading The Rise and Fall of The Roman Empire, listening to Wagner, and writing budgets on the backs of receipts from gas stations.

Of course, as a straight guy, none of this applies to me; if anyone needs me, I'll be taping rubber duckies to my arms and painting a picture of gerbils dressed as Devo.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:33 AM on September 20, 2010 [20 favorites]


This made my day yesterday. I tuned in a couple of hours before they stopped and then again just after they stopped. Maybe that's a bit of what made it seem more real and less silly to me. There's something about watching people try to break a world record live that's pretty engaging. Moreover, at a time when the right to marriage equality is being contested at the federal level and the religious right is pulling out all the stop to assert that lgbt relationships aren't "real," the symbolic aspect of this particular record couldn't be more appropriate.
posted by treepour at 8:33 AM on September 20, 2010


"After years of fighting bigotry and discrimination, it's time to put down our words and demonstrate otherwise."

Someone tell me what that sentence, from their website, means.
posted by HuronBob at 8:33 AM on September 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Lieberman and Bush kissed longer than that.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:34 AM on September 20, 2010 [4 favorites]


I must condemn these two freaks for the terrible choice they have made. Seriously, Tripod?

Congratulations on the kiss record, though.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:39 AM on September 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Someone tell me what that sentence, from their website, means.

I believe it loosely translates to "Less talking; more kissing."
posted by Jugwine at 8:39 AM on September 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is a small victory for cultural openness, but gives me a headache to think about.
posted by grobstein at 8:47 AM on September 20, 2010


Jugwine: Someone tell me what that sentence, from their website, means.

I believe it loosely translates to "Less talking; more kissing."


And the expanded lesson is that people should start taking action rather than sitting on their asses complaining about how they don't have rights waiting for someone else to do it for them (guilty as charged).

I think is maybe THE most important message for the gay/lesbian/trans/queer people and their allies right now.

And though it might seem...well... silly... for this to be the example, hey look we're talking about it.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:49 AM on September 20, 2010


could you elaborate on how it makes the gay community look silly?
posted by hermitosis


What I meant was this, and I think it is right along the lines of what threeway said. It just takes a second to paint a whole group with the same broad brush.

My first thought when I saw that, was "heh...cool", then the more I saw, it just started looking like a stunt from a couple of college kids. I'm not sure what kind of landmark or victory the gay community would consider this.

Would we even be discussing this if it was a hetero couple that broke the record? And, what's to stop some conservative nutjobs from putting up a hetero coupla virgins to do the same, and use it for PR? The gay folks I know would probably smile and roll their eyes at this at the same time.

There are things that shed a bad light on any group. I just feel this is not really that noteworthy, doesnt really do anything to further understanding and acceptance of the gay community, and is just sort of an ego-centric thing.
posted by timsteil at 8:50 AM on September 20, 2010


Lieberman and Bush kissed longer than that.

Yeah, but since they got to second base it's technically a different listing in Guinness.
posted by aught at 8:52 AM on September 20, 2010


Would we even be discussing this if it was a hetero couple that broke the record?

I think that's kind of the point. That the Guiness people, people who exist primarily to sell beer, not to provide a platform for gay rights activism, sees a gay kiss as acceptable for consideration seems like a notable milestone in casual acceptance.
posted by nomisxid at 8:56 AM on September 20, 2010 [5 favorites]


I actually loved this. I'm proud to say that they're students at my alma mater.

It's a fun story and the positive press that's come of it means more than the actual event, in my eyes. I'm happy for them for breaking the record, and for the fact that everything I've seen written about it has been pro-kiss. Now there's a gay kiss in the Guinness Book of World Records!
posted by inmediasres at 8:59 AM on September 20, 2010


And the expanded lesson is that people should start taking action rather than sitting on their asses complaining about how they don't have rights ...

In related news: Lady Gaga and SLDN will hold a rally for DADT repeal in Portland, ME this afternoon (4:00 p.m. Eastern).
posted by ericb at 9:03 AM on September 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


I can see how this would fail to shed unequivocally GOOD light on a group or cause. But I don't see what in the world it could hurt. And it is nice to see gays doing gay things (like kissing other gays) in the Guinness records, it is actually one of the more normal things a gay could do to try and stand out. The comparison to an act of terrorism makes me laugh out loud. In a world where such a comparison could be taken seriously, this pointless just-for-fun kiss becomes more important, not less.

See also, Pride parades.
posted by hermitosis at 9:06 AM on September 20, 2010


I would have just fallen asleep with my tongue in the other person's mouth. Gross.
posted by WeekendJen at 9:08 AM on September 20, 2010


Just think, these two could have been out there, saving the rain forest or helping old ladies across the street. The gay community will never live down this silliness.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:12 AM on September 20, 2010


I'm not sure what kind of landmark or victory the gay community would consider this.

Some context is necessary here.

Gays have been hosting "gay kiss-ins" (aka "gass kiss-offs") for years, as a form of protest/demonstration. Two of the most recent have been held in Torre del Lago and Brussels.

Gay Kiss-in Protests Held in More Than 40 Cities Across America (August 2009).

This past May there was a Global Gay Kiss-In held in cities around the world.
posted by ericb at 9:18 AM on September 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


There are things that shed a bad light on any group. I just feel this is not really that noteworthy, doesnt really do anything to further understanding and acceptance of the gay community, and is just sort of an ego-centric thing.

Kiss-ins are a fine tradition in the glbt community - participated in at least one; it was in a mall in Western Mass in the late 80s or early 90s. They were scary and fun!
posted by rtha at 9:19 AM on September 20, 2010


Many of us do not consider these public demonstrations to be "silly." On the contrary they are emblematic of what these two college students did: "...to raise awareness about homophobia and increase acceptance of LGBT people."
posted by ericb at 9:20 AM on September 20, 2010


I wonder how many of those hours were spent actually enjoying it like a normal kiss and how many were spent thinking, "I'm so bored ... has it been 33 hours yet?"
posted by John Cohen at 9:27 AM on September 20, 2010


Dear straight community:

Please stop telling us gays how silly we are. It's really marginalizing. I'm sorry if we look cute to you, or seem like zoo animals. We are not. If you continue to view us this way, it is your fault. These boys are not kissing to amuse you: they are kissing because the history books, when they mention gays at all, tend to talk about how we were denied rights or arrested or murdered. Hell, the newspapers tend to talk about how we are currently being denied rights or arrested and murdered.

If you don't think this is a step toward equality, that's probably because you've always been able to kiss whoever you want without repercussions. Your privilege is showing.

Sincerely,
A gay guy who is pretty pleased with this new record
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 9:32 AM on September 20, 2010 [19 favorites]


> I wonder how many of those hours were spent actually enjoying it like a normal kiss and how many were spent thinking, "I'm so bored ... has it been 33 hours yet?"

I wonder if since they weren't allowed to wear nappies or diapers they just went ahead and peed their pants.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:40 AM on September 20, 2010


A large section of the Guiness Book of Records is filled with self-promoting, attention-seeking heterosexuals. They seem like the perfect couple to level the playing field.
posted by londonmark at 9:47 AM on September 20, 2010


Of course, as a straight guy, none of this applies to me; if anyone needs me, I'll be taping rubber duckies to my arms and painting a picture of gerbils dressed as Devo.

Me too. Except my gerbils will be dressed as Kiss. The band, not the activity.

Also, I assume that breath-mint breaks were allowed, otherwise, this woulda gotten nasty.
posted by jonmc at 9:55 AM on September 20, 2010


Breaking a world record is hard work. It is not something to be undertaken lightly. It doesn't necessarily require skill, but it does take fortitude and perseverance in buckets. Something that requires physical involvement and coordination, involving a tactile rapport with someone else, for 33 hours... that is a very serious achievement. Regardless of the political point, regardless of the genders, regardless of whether or not the record makes it into print (and there are many more Guinness World Record categories than there are spaces in the book), these guys should be applauded.

And now my anecdote.

Quite a few years back (in the centuries after the Great Cataclysm but before I met my wife) when I was dating, I found myself in a bar sat next to a charming and attractive young lady, and after some smalltalk that seemed to be going in altogether the right direction it emerged that we were both former Guinness World record holders. And after some diplomatic I'll-tell-you-mine-if-you-tell-me-yours it was decided that she would reveal hers first.

"Longest underwater kiss," she said. "It was shown on BBC1. What was yours?"

I mumbled something.

"What?"

Mumblemumblemungeonsmagons.

"Louder."

I sighed, knowing all was lost. "I played Dungeons & Dragons for eighty-four hours."
posted by Hogshead at 10:02 AM on September 20, 2010 [38 favorites]


So far as I've observed, there are exactly three kinds of world records:

1. No skill, all luck (tallest person, shortest person, largest pumpkin)
2. All skill, no luck (running, jumping, video games, speed reading)
3. No skill, no luck, massive desire to win a world record

Last time I looked at a Guiness book, it had approximately equal shares of the three types listed. But #3 gets the most attention when people talk about world records (outside of a sports context).

It's possible to argue that if people see this as "silly," it's more of a victory. Two straight people doing this would be seen as silly.
posted by roll truck roll at 10:04 AM on September 20, 2010


Please note I was being sarcastic with the terrorist thing.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 10:06 AM on September 20, 2010


No mention of what's really shocking here?

They hosted their website through Tripod.

I had no idea Tripod even existed any more.
posted by Windigo at 10:07 AM on September 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


I like that two guys did this, good on them. That said, ew? There is no one I would want to lock lips with for that long.
posted by everichon at 10:09 AM on September 20, 2010


Well, I'm sure that if the Republicans had only known that gay men could pull off a feat like this, they'd allow gay marriage in an instant.
posted by crunchland at 10:12 AM on September 20, 2010


I just realized this happend at my alma mater. cool.
posted by WeekendJen at 10:30 AM on September 20, 2010


Outrageous!! Clearly, the only sensible thing to do is to amend the Constitution to re-define the word 'kiss' to be an act between one man and one woman.
posted by bstreep at 11:04 AM on September 20, 2010


Talk about chapped lips. Ouch.
Also - bring on the silly. Sillly is good. Kissing is good. Therefore, this is good, doubled.
posted by sandraregina at 11:13 AM on September 20, 2010


Matty and Bobby? What are they 12?
posted by Brocktoon at 11:15 AM on September 20, 2010


Remember when a straight couple did this, and all us straight people looked silly because of it? Boy am I glad that weight has been lifted. We heterosexuals have been laboring under that stigma for too long.
posted by rusty at 11:21 AM on September 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


but it does take fortitude and perseverance in buckets.


If they weren't allowed potty breaks or absorbent undergarments, I imagine those buckets came in handy.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:49 AM on September 20, 2010


the Guiness people, people who exist primarily to sell beer

Huh... I'd never made that connection before. (Apparently the book, one of my all time childhood favorites, was born of a bar bet by one Sir Hugh Beaver.) I live in ignorance no more thanks to Matty & Bobby's "friendship".
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 11:51 AM on September 20, 2010


Aww, they're actually not Guinness people anymore.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 11:55 AM on September 20, 2010


I'm sorry if we look cute to you, or seem like zoo animals.

When I lived in San Francisco in the late '80s/early '90s it pissed me and friends off when tour buses would travel through the Castro with folks hanging out the windows taking photographs of "the gays," as if on a safari.
posted by ericb at 1:04 PM on September 20, 2010


i remember being a queer nerdy kid in the south. i would finish all my school work and stare at the other kids that somehow needed three times the amount of time i did to finish. there was nothing to do in the classroom. one of the few distractions we were allowed was the guinness book of world records. it would have done my heart good to see longest kiss held by two men. i would have felt a little less lonely.

i guess i can see how it seems less important now, with all the gay characters on tv and equality marches and ellen and the internet. queer kids these days have a lot of places to look to see someone living their life how they see fit instead of how family, church, and country tell you to. even still, every step - whether it be into silliness or seriousness - gives us all one more step out of the closet.

who cares if it's ego-centric? who cares if you think it doesn't help anyone? two gay college students wanted to break a kissing record and instead of being told they can't or worrying about getting the shit kicked out of them - they filmed it live and took the record.
posted by nadawi at 1:06 PM on September 20, 2010 [8 favorites]


Yep. Every tiny step is a step forward!
posted by ericb at 1:11 PM on September 20, 2010


I would have just fallen asleep with my tongue in the other person's mouth. Gross.

Don't do this, you will end up slapped *SO* hard. Trust me, I know.

in my defense, I told her I was exhausted before we even started
posted by FatherDagon at 1:50 PM on September 20, 2010


Would we even be discussing this if it was a hetero couple that broke the record?

Wouldn't it be great if it were so ordinary that noone even understood what the big deal was?
posted by Twang at 3:21 PM on September 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yes, that would be great.
posted by stoneweaver at 10:17 PM on September 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


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