"People are so mean on the internet." - Complaints Choir of Chicago

November 19, 2010 2:47 PM

The Complaints Choir phenomenon, started by the Finnish artists Tellervo Kalleinen and Oliver Kochta-Kalleinen, has spread all over the world since last we paid it any attention, from Birmingham to Helsinki, Hamburg, St. Petersburg, Poikkilaakso, Bodø, Penn State, Canada, Juneau, Gabriola Island, Sointula, Jerusalem, Melbourne, Budapest, Malmö, Chicago, Florence, Copenhagen, Vancouver (2), Philadelphia, Sundbyberg, Milano, Åland, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Rotterdam, Basel, Umeå, Ljubljana, Gdansk, Arizona State University, Washington, DC, Horace Mann School, Durham-Chapel Hill, Auckland, Toronto theatre students, Kortrijk, Cairo (2), St. Pölten, Maribor, Port Coquitlam, Ústí nad Labem, Columbus & Kauhajoki (2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8). For more information, including a 9 step guide to forming your own complaints choir, go to the Complaints Choir website. Finally, here's the Singapore Complaints Choir, whose performance was banned by the Singapore government.
posted by Kattullus (40 comments total)

Metafilter needs one of these. Or maybe we can put Metatalk to music.
posted by Avenger50 at 3:02 PM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

Nine steps is too damn many to form a choir to sing a simple song.

When am I supposed to find the time to listen to all of those videos?

Birmingham's was tedious.

I bet that Chicago's is already taken over by choir queens who have had lessons since they were fetal.

how'm I doin'?
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:04 PM on November 19, 2010 [4 favorites]

Budapest's one is very funny and accurate, too.
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 3:38 PM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

I knew there was something wrong in Malmö (apart from the accent): the elevators are out of tune! (If I hadn't spent my entire youth listening to the gears and motors of the buses and trams of my hometown...)
posted by Namlit at 3:45 PM on November 19, 2010

I was very confused with the Sointula one at first. Why the heck are they singing in English, was my first thought. But fortunately my good friend Wikipedia could help me with that. Apparently they are in Canada, not in Finland like I first thought. It's so rare to see Finnish place names elsewhere in the world. A very interesting place. Started as one of the many Finnish utopian colonies of the early 20th century

And the complaints choir is adorable, full of local jokes. They even say a few words in Finnish and the pronounciation is not horrible!
posted by severiina at 3:47 PM on November 19, 2010

This is absolutely fucking brilliant. I had no idea. Merci, Kattullus!
posted by stonepharisee at 3:48 PM on November 19, 2010

There goes my weekend - it will take me forever to get through all these videos. Carpal tunnel here I come. Why aren't these mammoth multi-link posts ever made during the work day instead of taking up all my personal time? And how come that %$#@#$ Katullus always makes better posts than me? (Taking my cue from Halloween Jack...)

I notice that "not enough sex" or something on that order seems to be a universal complaint.
posted by madamjujujive at 3:48 PM on November 19, 2010

I'm loving Singapore's. Thanks for the post. I hope this catches on. Maybe it would encourage more people to try singing!
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 3:50 PM on November 19, 2010

I had stumbled across Helsinki before, but I had no idea that this was so popular. Jerusalem is good, and Rotterdam is better than the subtitles make you guess. Hamburg a bit meh. Why do Germans always complain.
posted by Namlit at 3:58 PM on November 19, 2010

The Hong Kong one is chock full good stuff. And there's even a bonus reference to Bus Uncle near then end.
posted by milquetoast at 4:03 PM on November 19, 2010

...No edit window? This website is stupid.
posted by milquetoast at 4:03 PM on November 19, 2010

Wow, Chicago's is amazing.

"Only tourists like deep dish pizza."

"All of America looks like the same strip mall."

"Why is war our only export?"

"I hate drunk cubs fans."

"My roommate is chewing outrageously loud."

"My boss prints his spam and hands it to me."

"My dead grandmother keeps voting for the wrong candidate."
posted by mai at 4:12 PM on November 19, 2010 [3 favorites]

Dee Xtrovert: Budapest's one is very funny and accurate, too.

That's one of my favorites. It's jovial and funny and I can sort of singalong with the chorus then they mention that Vonnegut is dead and suddenly I've got something in my eye. Very touching (does Kurt Vonnegut have any particular cultural significance in Hungary beyond mainland Europe's general reverence for Vonnegut?)
posted by Kattullus at 4:36 PM on November 19, 2010

I've spent a lot of time in Italy the past year and the Florence choir really moved me; the Florentines are well-known as the most miserable Italians in Northern Italy, their city overrun by wealthy foreigners and the Italians who profit from them.

On the one hand, one may say "So What? they make all their money off tourism".

True, they make money off tourism, but it is still the capital of the state of Tuscany and has existed for many centuries and needs to exist nonetheless. There is much more to Italy than tourist destinations.
posted by bboyberlin at 4:37 PM on November 19, 2010

My favorites:

"We the people of the city whose name no Englishman can read/Are standing in front of Chroby's monument, and asking, 'Why does the King ride a little pony?'" - Wroclaw

"Why did you, Peter, miraculous builder/ build our city in such a pestilent climate amidst mosquitoes?" - St. Petersburg
posted by colfax at 4:38 PM on November 19, 2010

Why has it been so long since you last paid attention? Sheesh.
posted by ardgedee at 4:49 PM on November 19, 2010

I am so grateful I have been unable to find one for my city. It would be an hour long.
posted by strixus at 4:56 PM on November 19, 2010

The first Vancouver one is by Veda Hille, who rules.
posted by doubtfulpalace at 5:07 PM on November 19, 2010

I was hoping for my city (Los Angeles), and then I realized that I've heard enough about the shitty public transit, cars everywhere, traffic, smog, fake produce at farmers market, and the mayor's bike.
posted by Xere at 5:29 PM on November 19, 2010

Oh man, I still sing the Birmingham one (the only one I'd heard in English and while I've heard Helsinki enough to "sing along" I'm sure I'm doin it rong) to myself at opportune times. I love these. If I ever find one near me, I am so joining.

AND I'M THIRSTY!
posted by sonika at 5:39 PM on November 19, 2010

(Oh man, the Hamburg one. So, so, so bringing back repressed memories of living in Germany and watching "folk music" on TV with my host grandmother. THE CLAPPING. OH MAN THE GERMANS AND THEIR LOVE OF CLAPPING. I may have to bleach my brain.)
posted by sonika at 5:55 PM on November 19, 2010 [2 favorites]

First World Problems: The Musical
posted by shii at 5:57 PM on November 19, 2010 [3 favorites]

Wow. complaining is popular.
posted by chrisp18938 at 7:00 PM on November 19, 2010

This may be the first time I've ever seen someone not in my family¹ mention Åland.

Also, great idea.

¹That's where my grandfather is from.
posted by ErWenn at 7:07 PM on November 19, 2010

The Tokyo one has really good production quality, but I appreciate that all the singers looked like ordinary people.
posted by ErWenn at 7:18 PM on November 19, 2010

"The cat that lives near my house ignores me."

Fantastic stuff!
posted by Dumsnill at 7:40 PM on November 19, 2010

Fuck Their Lives!
posted by not_on_display at 8:21 PM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

Ok, so on a scale where Helsinki and Tokyo get a 9.5 each, Birmingham a 2, and Jerusalem a 6, where do the others... wait. I need to make a post in another section (if no-one else already has).

brb
posted by motty at 9:01 PM on November 19, 2010

Ok, so while posting this it occurred to me that maybe I have missed the point and this needs to be a local thing involving group meetings, so wouldn't work here, but, feh. Throwing it out anyway. FWIW and all that.
posted by motty at 9:35 PM on November 19, 2010

That's one of my favorites. It's jovial and funny and I can sort of singalong with the chorus then they mention that Vonnegut is dead and suddenly I've got something in my eye. Very touching (does Kurt Vonnegut have any particular cultural significance in Hungary beyond mainland Europe's general reverence for Vonnegut?)

I can't answer that, I can only say that in every bookstore I go in, his books are centrally displayed, and many of them are available in Hungarian / English bilingual editions. The only other English-speaking writer who receives similar treatment is Agatha Christie, and it's common to see people on trams and the metro reading both writers. Why them in particular, I don't know.
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 12:52 AM on November 20, 2010

Not much from the UK, then. Birmingham, yes, but they do whine up there. Are we too contented for our own good?

What would be wonderful would be the use of complaint choirs as consumerist weaponry. There are classes of company - utilities, mostly - too far gone to be embarrassed by the normal means and who treat their customers like krill. Forty well-voiced singers turning up to hymn the corporate sins in public outside the HQ, with the usual back-up, would be a good start.

And if that doesn't work, the viking raiders.
posted by Devonian at 2:48 AM on November 20, 2010 [3 favorites]

Tokyo: "Musicians can't make a living."
posted by Namlit at 3:58 AM on November 20, 2010

Holy shit, this is wonderful. I am loving the Singapore song, the most whimsical musical political protest ever.
posted by LarryC at 9:14 AM on November 20, 2010

Tokyo: "Musicians can't make a living."

I speak only a very small amount of Japanese, but when I encountered that line, I was pretty sure that the original was something more like "Musicians can't eat". It's always interesting to see how things get altered in translation.
posted by ErWenn at 10:40 AM on November 20, 2010

Yup, the Singapore one is sweet and funny and powerful.

But I fear that ^♪♪I can't access playboy.com ^♪♪ might now become - ^♪♪I can no longer access metafilter.com ^♪♪
posted by Ahab at 11:16 AM on November 20, 2010

I wish I could sing so I could join one of those choirs.

Today's complaints:
"Sunny California, my ass."
"So fucking tired of the windy day."
"I'm not in the mood to write NaNoWriMo."

Alas, I sing like Edith Bunker.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:40 PM on November 20, 2010

INCREDIBLE! (Time short, I started with the Singapore group.)

I've been waiting for this moment all of my life! Well, OK, since high school choir. THANKS
posted by Twang at 4:25 PM on November 20, 2010

It's always interesting to see how things get altered in translation.
Point in case: Rotterdam. Apparently they had no English speaker in town, so they just made something up (not quite, but still).

(And I still haven't seen half of them. Kattullus, how did you even do that?)
posted by Namlit at 5:59 PM on November 20, 2010

Namlit: And I still haven't seen half of them. Kattullus, how did you even do that?

Insomnia.
posted by Kattullus at 3:10 PM on November 21, 2010

Is that how Iceland copes with the winter? Hah, another complaint choir subject.

On topic: Holland has had a weekend of shrieking for culture, to protest against the announced budget cuts. Youtube is full of it. There was even some Beethoven with a new protest-text to be heard (no subtitles, though, and a rather too cold-fingered music-school gang. Just for information)
posted by Namlit at 5:45 PM on November 21, 2010