The Ayn Rand School for Tots

November 30, 2010 4:09 PM

The pictures show a lovely celebration. A crowd of 100 or so is seated on a well-groomed lawn in front of a trim orchestra and a grand old plantation house. A retired astronaut has been flown in to address the group. Late in the day, two hot-air balloons skim the dusky sky. That fall day in 2007 seemed an auspicious start for a college with only five professors and 10 students. But as the year wore on, the students, professors, and staff members became convinced that it was a sign of something else entirely: an elaborate facade.

The brief rise and rapid fall of Founders College, an experiment in Randian education.
posted by Horace Rumpole (83 comments total)

or, "Founders Founders"
posted by everichon at 4:20 PM on November 30, 2010 [8 favorites]

At the time the college was approved, it had no official faculty, no facilities, and, it turned out, shaky finances. "I'm stunned that the state would register a place like that," says Ray Weiss, the onetime enrollment director. "What did we really have going for us when they registered us?"

Huh? Why isn't this guy denoucing the state for having the temerity to interfere in private contractual relationships by establishing a scheme of college registration?
posted by Dasein at 4:22 PM on November 30, 2010 [62 favorites]

But as the year wore on, the students, professors, and staff members became convinced that it was a sign of something else entirely: an elaborate facade.

I'm afraid that the journalist was in on it. English Tong, the home-schooled lady hoping for a homeschool-friendly environment, and Ms. Jade Foggg, looking forward to the equestrian facilities? Seems the random name generator was set on "eccentric."
posted by filthy light thief at 4:24 PM on November 30, 2010 [4 favorites]

In shorter words: 12 million dollars isn't a heck of a lot to found a college with, regardless of its philosophical bent.
posted by usonian at 4:24 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dasein: Why isn't this guy denoucing the state for having the temerity to interfere in private contractual relationships by establishing a scheme of college registration?

Because the state is a hindrance until the failure is on your hands, at which time the state was not supportive enough.
posted by filthy light thief at 4:27 PM on November 30, 2010 [39 favorites]

Since Colonial times, the government has recognized that colleges are somehow different than other businesses or charities.

Really? Why? No, seriously - why?

Sigh. As one of the few proclaimed Objectivists here at MeFi, this article is somewhat disheartening. I vaguely recall some of the early pronouncements many years ago, but never followed up to find out what happened.

The failure of the college was not due to the professed philosophy of the founders - as noted in some of the comments, it was due to a combination of poor management, lack of experience, funding questions, and arguably confusing regulations.
posted by davidmsc at 4:30 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

Couldn't you at least shoot bees out of your arms for your trouble?
posted by Countess Elena at 4:31 PM on November 30, 2010 [21 favorites]

But a college isn't like a barber writing hot checks all over town...

Is this some sort of Virginian archetype I have never heard of? It seems like an oddly specific example.
posted by griphus at 4:32 PM on November 30, 2010 [33 favorites]

Yeah, what's with the barber-bashing? Wondered that too. Never heard the phrase.
posted by davidmsc at 4:32 PM on November 30, 2010

Wow. Who would have thought that a bunch of people espousing selfishness as a virtue would leave a bunch of others in the lurch?
posted by el_lupino at 4:32 PM on November 30, 2010 [50 favorites]

Since Colonial times, the government has recognized that colleges are somehow different than other businesses or charities.

Really? Why? No, seriously - why?

Because like roads and sewers they are so important to the body of civilization that their fate cannot be trusted to possibly unreliable magic free hands of the market. You have to be sure that they are available, that they endure economic storms, and that they perform acceptably or your entire civilization crumbles to dust.
posted by localroger at 4:33 PM on November 30, 2010 [79 favorites]

Hull was "Director of [Duke's] Program on Values and Ethics in the Marketplace". Isn't there some kind of irony in there?
posted by bluefrog at 4:34 PM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

What? I mean, who among us has not been saddled with a barber's hot cheques?

I can't read that back without laughing out loud.
posted by GuyZero at 4:35 PM on November 30, 2010 [27 favorites]

Is a student not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

No, says the man at the Department of Education; you are unaccredited.
No, says man at FAFSA; you do not qualify for financial aid.
No, says the man at the State Council for Higher Education; your finances are too uncertain.

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different.

I chose the impossible.

I chose...

Founders College.

No Diplomas or Athletics, only Jazz Nights.
posted by 2bucksplus at 4:35 PM on November 30, 2010 [68 favorites]

In a twisted sort of way, I don't feel that bad for the students. Most of them didn't pay, had above-average professors, and ate filet-mignon on Fridays. Taking into account the worldliness gained after having been up close and personal with such grand delusion, I'd be surprised if any of them would trade that year for a year at neighboring Southside community college where their credits were coming from.
posted by StrangerInAStrainedLand at 4:36 PM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

A college isnt like porridge...or a pear.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 4:36 PM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

The Creative Writing program must have been atrocious.
posted by Bromius at 4:39 PM on November 30, 2010 [37 favorites]

This is sort of why conservatives revile "intellectuals". Even conservative intellectuals. There is enough schadenfreude here to go around for everyone. Feast, feast!
posted by Xoebe at 4:40 PM on November 30, 2010 [5 favorites]

Recalls for me that Bob the Angry Flower cartoon: Atlas Shrugged 2

The main complaint in the third link seems to be that it was a great idea, but not enough people bought into it at the level of actually contributing their time and money and energy instead of just their ideas. Except that the indications of greatness seemed largely, so far as I can see, to be the result of it being so pitifully small that nobody had anything better to do. And if it's such a great idea, shouldn't people have bought into it? Isn't that supposed to be how the market works? Rewarding greatness?

So either it wasn't a great idea... or the market doesn't really reward greatness, it rewards good marketing plans attached to mediocre-to-bad results.

Neither of which seems to speak very well for the concept.
posted by gracedissolved at 4:45 PM on November 30, 2010 [5 favorites]

Ugh, Ayn Rand?

All of this would have been awesome if it were a James Randian school. It would be Amazing.
posted by inturnaround at 4:51 PM on November 30, 2010 [21 favorites]

This one time, at Libertarian camp...
posted by Artw at 4:51 PM on November 30, 2010 [9 favorites]

you want a Randian education? kick an impoverished child in the teeth. did it feel good? A+!
posted by TrialByMedia at 4:52 PM on November 30, 2010 [21 favorites]

I think I saw a movie about this.
posted by headnsouth at 4:52 PM on November 30, 2010

The one devout Randian I've worked closely with very clearly believed that contributing his ideas was the best, and in fact the only, way to lead the company to greatness. He wouldn't go so far as to write the ideas down in a coherent email, but he damn sure contributed them.

God, he was a useless son of a bitch.
posted by restless_nomad at 4:53 PM on November 30, 2010 [28 favorites]

Sounds good to me. Jazz nights? Filet Mignon? Lots of students to an accredited university and leave with only awsome flip cup skills and an STD.

I feel bad for the one student they didn't want to admit. "Well we only have 10 students. I don't know ........ fuck it, you are in. Send a check now!"
posted by Ad hominem at 4:55 PM on November 30, 2010

...and then when Rush didn't show up to play their Spring Fling gig, all hell broke loose.

OR

Attention, all planets of the Solar Federation: the number you have reched is no longer in service. Please check the number and dial again, or call your operator for assistance. This is a recording. This is a recording. This is a recording.
posted by not_on_display at 4:56 PM on November 30, 2010 [3 favorites]

It should have been underwater.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:58 PM on November 30, 2010 [7 favorites]

Whoa, spelling. I'm one of those students who left with awesome flip cup skills but unfortunately no STD.
posted by Ad hominem at 5:01 PM on November 30, 2010

This thread actually just made me say "oh goody" out loud, a phrase I usually only reserve for hot fudge sundaes.
posted by SassHat at 5:01 PM on November 30, 2010 [17 favorites]

I always chuckle when I pass Rand volumes at the library. If she only knew!
posted by notion at 5:02 PM on November 30, 2010 [14 favorites]

What strikes me about this is that it's rather thinly reported. Nothing from Hull, not much from Fuller. The only one she got good quote from was Weiss, the former admissions/sales guy, and a couple students. None of the profs, even --- it's hard to believe none of them were willing to spill for the sake of saving a bridge with these yokels.

And the blog post mentions a "mysterious benefactor" who was to pony up $12 million for the endowment --- well, did that actually happen or not? Because within a year of purchase they got foreclosed on for $3 million, which, depending on down payment, is probably somewhere in the ballpark of what they paid for the property. Six profs, a handful of other staff --- even if you paid 'em all $100K a year, and I'm betting they didn't, it'd be only another, say $1.5 million. I could be substantially off with the numbers, it's still nowhere near $12 million. So is that figure a figment? A goal? Did they only every get $2 million, and was that why Hull ditched, when he saw they didn't have the nest egg they'd need? I don't know how much of this you could dig up offhand --- they clearly submitted some kind of financial plan/proposal to the state --- but it seems to me like it would go a long way toward explaining what happened here. Surely there should be some kind o non-profit/endowment based financial reporting they'd have done? Otherwise the funds they'd raised would be taxable.
posted by Diablevert at 5:03 PM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

It's a shame. South Boston (and hell, all of Southside VA, really) needs something like an accredited college or university to return to economic viability.
posted by infinitewindow at 5:04 PM on November 30, 2010

Is a student not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

No, says the man at the Department of Education; you are unaccredited.
No, says man at FAFSA; you do not qualify for financial aid.
No, says the man at the State Council for Higher Education; your finances are too uncertain.

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different.

I chose the impossible.

I chose...

Founders College.


There are times when I wonder if Bioshock will actually wind up being the spike driven through the top of the coffin, just by virtue of getting a dramatization of the failings of Objectivism in front of an enormous, unsuspecting audience. Like, I think that game is worth tens of thousands of well-researched blog posts.
posted by COBRA! at 5:08 PM on November 30, 2010 [22 favorites]

Hull was "Director of [Duke's] Program on Values and Ethics in the Marketplace". Isn't there some kind of irony in there?
posted by bluefrog at 4:34 PM on November 30 [+] [!]

no, because 'business ethics' classes are classes about why government regulation of the marketplace is unethical.
posted by eustatic at 5:08 PM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

There are times when I wonder if Bioshock will actually wind up being the spike driven through the top of the coffin...

Something like that yeah.
posted by griphus at 5:13 PM on November 30, 2010

In shorter words: 12 million dollars isn't a heck of a lot to found a college with, regardless of its philosophical bent.

Well, apparently there was no 12 million dollars, after all.

But I have worked for colleges that had endowments a heckuva lot smaller than that; they just cut their coats to suit their cloth. Seems like these folks wanted to be a little William and Mary on a beauty academy budget.

Sometimes the invisible hand of the market smacks you firmly on the ass for being an idiot.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:15 PM on November 30, 2010 [3 favorites]

From the "branding" website:

The founding members of this new institution, led by professors from Duke University..

It sounds more like the founding members of this new institution were Randolph and Mortimer Duke, who had a $1 bet on it.
posted by charlie don't surf at 5:15 PM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

metafilter: left with awesome flip cup skills but unfortunately no STD
posted by liza at 5:15 PM on November 30, 2010

furshlugginer barbers...
posted by 6 short of a carton at 5:16 PM on November 30, 2010

~Since Colonial times, the government has recognized that colleges are somehow different than other businesses or charities.

Really? Why? No, seriously - why?

Because degrees from colleges are part of the qualifications for public employment in many sectors, from public schools to public hospitals. If you let people from Joe's All-Nite Surgery School operate on people who come into Local City Hospital's emergency room, you're not exercising your responsibility as a government.

it was due to a combination of poor management, lack of experience, funding questions, and arguably confusing regulations

I don't see any way in which "arguably confusing regulations" contributed to the downfall of a school that had 10 students where it sought 100, and relied for its financial solvency on a big donation that never happened.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:20 PM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

Barbers obviously heat their checks in the hot-lather machine! Silly barbers.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:27 PM on November 30, 2010

Reardon Metallurgy 101 has been canceled due to low attendence by you vitality-draining parasites.
posted by benzenedream at 5:36 PM on November 30, 2010 [6 favorites]

But a college isn't like a barber writing hot checks all over town, or a restaurant that's poorly managed. College is something more—a promise of an education, of a degree with value in the marketplace, and, for students, of a place that has their best interest at heart.

Was the barber metaphor sort of a casual classist remark? Like, we expect so much more from colleges than we do barbers or even restaurant owners [read: semi-skilled blue-collar workers and blue-collar business owners] and that's why the college's spectacular failure is so troubling?

Also, there's the idea that when the barber commits fraud it is clear, petty, and easily discovered (soon as the check is cashed); but when the college did it, the state was entirely unaware?

At first I thought maybe the writer was just a big fan of The Man Who Wasn't There (and in turn that I had forgotten part of that film).
posted by 2bucksplus at 5:38 PM on November 30, 2010

Yeah, what's with the barber-bashing?

Wait, did Pat write this article under a pseudonym?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:39 PM on November 30, 2010 [6 favorites]

Was the barber metaphor sort of a casual classist remark? Like, we expect so much more from colleges than we do barbers or even restaurant owners [read: semi-skilled blue-collar workers and blue-collar business owners] and that's why the college's spectacular failure is so troubling?

While the metaphor is obscure and for that reason ineffective, it might also be said that the unethical practice of hair cutting and styling or restaurant management is unlikely to wreck permanent harm on the future career prospects of the customers. Whereas if your university goes belly up you may find your tuition money down the drain and your degree worthless.
posted by Diablevert at 5:48 PM on November 30, 2010

Horace Rumpole: "an experiment in Randian education."

"We have your money, have paid our salaries and are shutting down operations. THERE WILL BE NO ENCORES."
posted by boo_radley at 5:48 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

While the metaphor is obscure and for that reason ineffective, it might also be said that the unethical practice of hair cutting and styling or restaurant management is unlikely to wreck permanent harm on the future career prospects of the customers. Whereas if your university goes belly up you may find your tuition money down the drain and your degree worthless.

I thought about that too at first and it made a kind of sense: both colleges and barbershops are licensed by the state, the barber fucks up and you have a bad haircut for a while, the college fucks up and you have a useless degree and insufficient knowledge for life.

But the specific example is that the barber is passing "hot checks", i.e. check fraud. Head scratching emoticon.
posted by 2bucksplus at 5:52 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yes, it's completely weird. You don't get a check from your barber as part of the ordinary business transaction, either, so it's not even appropriately analogous.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:56 PM on November 30, 2010

The barber thing may be a reference to Sherwood Anderson's short story In A Strange Town:

But now I am remembering things.
Yesterday, in this town, I was in a barber shop. I got my hair cut. I hate getting my hair cut.
"I am in a strange town with nothing to do, so I'll get my hair cut," I said to myself as I went in.
A man cut my hair. "It rained a week ago," he said. "Yes," I said. That is all the conversation there was between us.
However, there was other talk in that barber shop, plenty of it.
A man had been here in this town and had passed some bad checks. One of them was for ten dollars and was made out in the name of one of the barbers in the shop.
The man who passed the checks was a stranger, like myself. There was talk of that.

He was apparently from Virginia. But maybe it's just random?
posted by GuyZero at 5:57 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

The Creative Writing program must have been atrocious.

And the sex among the students was awkward at best, but most of the time, it was just outright violent.
posted by NoMich at 6:01 PM on November 30, 2010 [10 favorites]

But the specific example is that the barber is passing "hot checks", i.e. check fraud. Head scratching emoticon.

I think the author is straining to make their analogy about unethical business practices, eg., not paying the bills, since that's the main problem with the college, not necessarily that the service provided was bad (eg, if the profs were unqualified and the lectures nonsense, that would be like a restaurant serving undercooked food or a barber shaving in a bald patch, but that wasn't the nature of the problem with Founders.)

But I should cease to attempt to reverse-engineer the editing of this piece.
posted by Diablevert at 6:05 PM on November 30, 2010

For some reason, I was expecting that this place was offering a James Randian education, not an Ayn Randian edumacation.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:12 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

I was going to link to the Simpsons reference but... someone beat me to it.
posted by ovvl at 6:18 PM on November 30, 2010

MetaFilter: I was going to link to the Simpsons reference but... someone beat me to it.
posted by griphus at 6:24 PM on November 30, 2010 [4 favorites]

A IS A
posted by obiwanwasabi at 6:41 PM on November 30, 2010

(I see what I did there.)
posted by obiwanwasabi at 6:43 PM on November 30, 2010 [3 favorites]

arguably confusing regulations

Those pesky regulations! Is there anything they won't foul up and ruin???
posted by smoke at 6:51 PM on November 30, 2010

But the specific example is that the barber is passing "hot checks"

No no, a barber passing hot checks is when you check to see if a barber is hot, and he totally is!
posted by drinkyclown at 7:02 PM on November 30, 2010 [6 favorites]

Founders claims that it will offer courses focusing on "the great ideas and significant events that shape both an individual’s life and entire civilizations," and courses teaching "thinking and communication skills to excel in any profession."

Oh, a modern Dagny would have gone to MIT (I am not sure exactly where she went to school). We know that Galt, Danneskjold, and Francisco went to Patrick Henry University to study physics (and philosophy).
I believe that a school that simply retreads Ayn Rand's philosophy is not a school to create Galts and Dagnies. It is a delusional leeching (to borrow the word) of time drawn up by people who do not understand the love of the art of engineering, science, and technology that is the heart of Rand's characters.
posted by niccolo at 7:14 PM on November 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

My hair is so awesome that old ladies touch it on the street and barbers pay me to cut it, by check.
posted by jtron at 7:15 PM on November 30, 2010

I'm not surprised they're in such a lather about barbers. The razor gang made massive cuts to the budget. In order to cope, they tried to shave a bit here, trim a bit there, but it was impossible to just brush them off altogether. Quite a hairy situation - no wonder they got so stroppy.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:20 PM on November 30, 2010 [5 favorites]

The failure ... was not due to the professed philosophy of the founders - ... it was due to a combination of poor management, lack of experience, funding questions, and arguably confusing regulations.

I often say the same thing about the Soviet Union.
posted by banal evil at 7:22 PM on November 30, 2010 [6 favorites]

Bonus points for getting "stroppy" in there.
posted by smoke at 7:29 PM on November 30, 2010

Yeah, I really combed through my memory for every barbering term I could find.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:42 PM on November 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

A school base on Randian ideals has failed?

This is my shocked face.*


*Level of shock is set to zero: not shocked at all
posted by oddman at 7:42 PM on November 30, 2010

One thing abot Randian education, though: no grade inflation. A is A.
posted by No-sword at 7:58 PM on November 30, 2010 [8 favorites]

not_on_display: "...and then when Rush didn't show up to play their Spring Fling gig, all hell broke loose."

Fly by night!!!
posted by symbioid at 8:04 PM on November 30, 2010

"Rocket Surgeon"

From the Chronicle.com (first link) comments - #11. It conjures up an alternate time line where alchemists and practitioners of the black arts created rocket-powered, bio-mechanical monsters.

Sorry to derail the thread. Back to the subject at hand -- grifter/sex-pot barbers!
posted by bionic.junkie at 8:23 PM on November 30, 2010

Christ on a bike there's a lot 10+ favorites in this thread.

No offence intended, Dasein, but what was so special about your comment? I could ask this of another 10 multi-favorited comments.

Is it simply because it's an anti Ayn Rand post and everyone's having a big love in? To quote johnmc, is this when I'm supposed to go outside and have a smoke?
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:15 AM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

unco - that's nothing. Today I was reading this thread, which looked like it would be interesting. About half-way through the 240 comments & wondering why it wasn't giving me the return I was hoping for, it dawned on me that almost every single one was exactly the same:

"What a narcissistic creep! A WEDDING DAY is about THE COUPLE, not about YOU!!1!!" [46 favourites]

If 10+ favourites are your aim, it helps to identify the echo chamber threads & post exactly the same thing as everybody else is thinking.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:29 AM on December 1, 2010

Perhaps Hull should pursuit his own happiness and rational self interest. This effort to reach out to others through Founders seems out of spirit.
posted by jimitjim at 2:17 AM on December 1, 2010

I live about thirty miles west of where this school was and I've never heard of it as far as I can recall.
posted by cropshy at 3:16 AM on December 1, 2010

a James Randian school

At the graduation, they disprove your thesis and then pull your diploma out from behind your ear.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:48 AM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Founders certainly started with high aspirations. It was the inspiration of Gary L. Hull, a longtime visiting professor of sociology at Duke University and director of its Program on Values and Ethics in the Marketplace.

lol
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:05 AM on December 1, 2010

I guess it's not good thread about Rand without a scolding from such an independent mind about our group think.
posted by ServSci at 5:26 AM on December 1, 2010 [10 favorites]

I almost went, due to their oddly compelling pitch: "Would you kindly go to Founder's College?
posted by Philipschall at 7:01 AM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

There are times when I wonder if Bioshock will actually wind up being the spike driven through the top of the coffin

I prefer to think of it as 'the electrical jolt and wrench across the face'.
posted by FatherDagon at 7:39 AM on December 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

"...and then when Rush didn't show up to play their Spring Fling gig, all hell broke loose."

"The barber thing may be a reference to Sherwood Anderson's short story"

Rush's Middletown Dreams was inspired by Sherwood Anderson's mid-life decision to leave a daily grind job to concentrate on the more fanciful pursuit of writing. It's one of my favorite songs.

And now the circle is complete.
posted by Eideteker at 8:40 AM on December 1, 2010

This one time, at Libertarian camp...

I don't know how that story ends, except that I'm sure everybody had to get themselves off.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:30 AM on December 1, 2010 [6 favorites]

What? I mean, who among us has not been saddled with a barber's hot cheques?

You guys ever go to a lady barber and she leans over to cut some hair and you feel her mons veneris rubbing up against your shoulder and youre like "damn, does this constitute cheating on my girlfriend?" cause like its hot but then its not like youre actually doing anything, you just came in for a haircut

no thats never happened to me either

i dont like ayn rand though
posted by Greg Nog at 9:48 AM on December 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

This one time, at Libertarian camp...

I don't know how that story ends, except that I'm sure everybody had to get themselves off.

Self sufficient bootstrapping.
posted by 2bucksplus at 9:51 AM on December 1, 2010

Self sufficient bootstrapping

Well, when you put it that way...

Yet again, objectivism is phrased in such a way that a younger me would have been totally hot for it.

Now that I'm done joking (and have read the actual article), I have to say that, as much as the cautionary tale sucks, and it does, there are far worse ways to learn lessons about how the world works than staying at a resort, eating well, 5:3 student-teacher ratio, and not "paying anywhere close to full tuition or room and board."
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:11 AM on December 1, 2010

I guess it's not good thread about Rand without a scolding from such an independent mind about our group think.
posted by ServSci at 8:26 AM on December 1 [7 favorites -] Favorite added! [!]

To seal the deal, this comment should have 10+ favorites, too.
posted by Amanojaku at 11:42 AM on December 1, 2010