Groupon Editorial Manual

December 7, 2010 12:21 PM

Groupon's Editorial Manual
posted by shotgunbooty (46 comments total)

My God. Did Wikileaks get to them too?
posted by saturday_morning at 12:24 PM on December 7, 2010 [5 favorites]

Uh, Wikileaks is two doors down.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:24 PM on December 7, 2010

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS PEOPLE
posted by tittergrrl at 12:24 PM on December 7, 2010

Really cool. Thanks.
posted by matkline at 12:25 PM on December 7, 2010

This is more interesting that I thought it would be.

Humor Taboos.

Mullets, Snuggies, midgets, ligers (over-used, unfunny humor crutches).
Unicycles, mimes

Zombies, Pirates, Ninjas, Pandas, Unicorns, Bears, Sharks, at least not in the hipster context that usually conjoins these things
posted by empath at 12:25 PM on December 7, 2010 [7 favorites]

The Groupon Thesaurus is a barrel of laughs.
posted by grouse at 12:25 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

I used to buy a deal or two from Groupon, and for a few months, I really loved to see what new thing they were offering, like every morning. Now I'm bored with it. Their deals looks all the same now: get your teeth whitened, have your hair cut, etc.
posted by anniecat at 12:26 PM on December 7, 2010

Antagonizing the reader (e.g. "Get fit, fatty!" "Take a shower hippy!," "Eat a burger hipster!"). The problem isn't that it's offensive - it's that it isn't funny.
posted by fixedgear at 12:26 PM on December 7, 2010

This is some code of the samurai shit.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:27 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

And I don't know why, but whenever Groupon puts their copy describing a deal, my stomach turns. It's boring. I wish they'd just write whatever they mean instead. It's original, but it's not creative and it isn't funny even.
posted by anniecat at 12:28 PM on December 7, 2010

I think I'll scream "Eat a burger, hipster!" next time I see one.
posted by ALongDecember at 12:29 PM on December 7, 2010 [3 favorites]

Not everyone can write copy like the woot.com guy.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:29 PM on December 7, 2010 [16 favorites]

A burger or a hipster?
posted by AceRock at 12:29 PM on December 7, 2010 [7 favorites]

I think it's kind of weird that they lifted their entire style, ethic and business model from Woot and don't mention it at all.
posted by empath at 12:31 PM on December 7, 2010 [2 favorites]

If they like how you describe the burger, they'll figure out on their own that the burger can be enjoyed by drinking it.

That was my favorite part.
posted by not that girl at 12:31 PM on December 7, 2010

$6 billion these guys turned down.
posted by enn at 12:35 PM on December 7, 2010 [5 favorites]

I think it's kind of weird that they lifted their entire style, ethic and business model from Woot and don't mention it at all.

They also claim that no other deals site has a discussion board, but Woot has that too.
posted by hellphish at 12:36 PM on December 7, 2010

I think I'll scream "Eat a burger, hipster!" next time I see one.

Maybe this can replace plain old HAMBURGER as the sarcasm mark.
posted by fixedgear at 12:38 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

This seems like a lot of work to convince people to buy spa packages.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 12:39 PM on December 7, 2010

I think I'll scream "Eat a burger, hipster!" next time I see one.

Actually there are all these boutique burger joints popping up all over the place now. So frankly, hipsters are already eating burgers, just expensive ones they have to wait for.
posted by delmoi at 12:43 PM on December 7, 2010

Also, Groupon sucks. More of the "celebration of consumerism" crap. Making shopping fun, of course, makes people shop more. People should strive to be emotionally fulfilled without needing to spend money.

The editorial guidelines are public, so essentially this is just marketing. Either that or ridiculous "Naked business" transparency as marketing but we don't think about it that way vanity.
posted by delmoi at 12:46 PM on December 7, 2010

Oh man, is this a corporate guide on how to sound all twee and precious like you are two kids working out of a coffee shop even after you just turned down a 60bn dollar offer from google? I've been looking for one of these for my startup.

Too bad the kitten with ocotopus costume 404 page is already been done.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:50 PM on December 7, 2010 [3 favorites]

Coupons, I will sell my soul for 50% off marked up prices.
posted by JJ86 at 12:52 PM on December 7, 2010

When you eat this burger, angels with onion ring halos appear and perform breakdancing routines on a maple-syrup covered twister board.

I don't know...I read that, and I'm sold.
posted by anthom at 12:52 PM on December 7, 2010

Also, Groupon sucks. More of the "celebration of consumerism" crap. Making shopping fun, of course, makes people shop more. People should strive to be emotionally fulfilled without needing to spend money.

I have to buy stuff, though. And all things considered, I'd rather have fun doing it.
posted by empath at 12:56 PM on December 7, 2010 [2 favorites]

Reading the thesaurus made me want to gnaw to the bone my finger shingles, DNA collectors, calcium-rich clipper tips, finger helmets, toe shells, finger canopies, finger awnings, plastic flesh, tiddly winks flippers. Also, it's becoming clearer why they (allegedly) pay their writers crap.
posted by scratch at 12:57 PM on December 7, 2010

carrier pidgins

OK, it was worth it for that alone. (From here.)
posted by rkent at 1:02 PM on December 7, 2010

Also, it's becoming clearer why they (allegedly) pay their writers crap.

Allegedly?
posted by carrienation at 1:18 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

oh god it gets worse and worse. Its like reading the packages at Au Bon Pain

"We know this cardboard box isn't the adorable tins you used to squee over at grandma's house, but we put as much care and lurve into our carrot cake as she did!"

check out this documentary for more info about giant corporations adopting that type of voice in marketing materials
posted by Ad hominem at 1:19 PM on December 7, 2010

Carrienation, I was too lazy to look it up, and I certainly didn't want to cast aspersions (or hurl dunce caps, as the thesaurus has it). Thanks.
posted by scratch at 1:22 PM on December 7, 2010

Is this something I have to have a gmail account to understand?
posted by cjorgensen at 1:35 PM on December 7, 2010

So my post-apocalyptic zombie mime on a unicycle is right out?
posted by starman at 1:44 PM on December 7, 2010

Style guide or no, this is the best Groupon text I've ever read:

Tex’s has been serving up authentic Texas barbecue to Nashville for the past 30 years. Like a little girl doused in vinegar, its lunch menu is short, sweet, spicy, and tangy and can convince even the most mature adults to let loose and feast fiendishly with their hands.

posted by rolandcrosby at 1:49 PM on December 7, 2010 [6 favorites]

...hipsters are already eating burgers, just expensive ones they have to wait for.

Fixed gear, too.
posted by DU at 2:31 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

If only the businesses that accepted Groupons had the same sense of humor. When I notify my server that I have Groupon by shouting 'THIS IS A GREAT MEAL... FOR ME TO GROUPON!' I often have to repeat myself six or seven times before they even crack a smile (usually while the manager escorts me for the building).
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:17 PM on December 7, 2010 [16 favorites]

I still don't understand how they are valuated so highly.
posted by cavalier at 3:17 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

valued?
posted by fixedgear at 3:22 PM on December 7, 2010

Is there some sort of necessary population density that an area served by Groupon has to hit before their coupons become remotely enticing? I signed up a month or so ago with my "sure, spam me" gmail account and have yet to see a coupon anywhere near as useful as some I find crammed in my real mailbox alongside flyers for real-estate seminars and dog-walking services.

It's like the Sunday newspaper blow-ins without the pizza discounts: you know, the only coupon you ever remember to actually use.

And who in their right mind turns down $6 billion? I'd sell the cure for cancer for $6 billion. Six billion dollars is so far beyond fuck-you money. Turn it down? For your email-coupon business? I'm baffled.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:53 PM on December 7, 2010 [2 favorites]

rollycoaster, not rollercoaster.


What.
posted by peep at 5:39 PM on December 7, 2010

wines: capitalize when the wine is from a region. Here's a working list of wines from regions:
Bordeaux
Chenin blanc
Chianti
Gewurztraminer
Riesling
Shiraz

Err no, "Bordeaux" is a region, the rest are varieties of grape.
posted by w0mbat at 5:59 PM on December 7, 2010

Has anyone actually verified that Google offered 6 billion and they turned it down. Or was it just "sources close to the deal?"
posted by haveanicesummer at 7:57 PM on December 7, 2010 [2 favorites]

The terms of the google offer were probably as important as the final number. $6B in cash? I can't imagine that they would have turned it down. $6B in stock with a three year no sell clause? Yeah, you can see how you might want to walk away from that deal.

Zuckerberg turned down $1B to Yahoo and people called him crazy--now Facebook is worth $25-50B these days. And Yang turned down Microsoft's $44B bid for Yahoo (which is worth about half that now). I guess you just never know.
posted by sexymofo at 8:30 PM on December 7, 2010

I love style guides. I used to work to one in a previous job, copy-editing subtitles - before my tenure, deaf people thought the singer was Meatloaf and the superhero Spiderman.
posted by mippy at 3:36 AM on December 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Steer clear of jokes that could offend religious people. Even if it seems harmless and playful, there are some religious people who will freak out. It's not worth the headache

Also, steer clear of Sarah Palin jokes.

"Look at me. Weave me into your bag and you will be clever," says the snake.

rollycoaster, not rollercoaster.

The apostrophe on "yo' mama" is as capriciously wrong.

I have to buy stuff, though.

Some might consider that conjecture.

That'll do, pigment ...
posted by mrgrimm at 8:32 AM on December 8, 2010

"Bordeaux" is a region, the rest are varieties of grape.

Chianti is definitely a region in Tuscany, and it's always been a wine, not a grape.

From WP: "Baron Bettino Ricasoli (later Prime Minister in the Kingdom of Italy) created the Chianti recipe of 70% Sangiovese, 15% Canaiolo and 15% Malvasia bianca in the middle of the nineteenth century."

Yum. Thanks, Sr. Ricasoli!

Chenin Blanc, Gewurztraminer, Riesling, and Shiraz are grapes. Though Syrah and Shiraz are the same grape, I'd use Shiraz for Australian wines and Syrah for French/American/the rest. Some claim they are different styles--Shiraz bolder, Syrah more refined.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:48 AM on December 8, 2010

Dear god. They do that on purpose? Their copy isn't just some embarrassing accident written by delusional employees of the business on off that day? Oh dear lord.
posted by hecho de la basura at 11:17 AM on December 9, 2010