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Meet Arielle, Doll Warrior and Literary Agent
December 17, 2010 5:25 PM   Subscribe

Mocknick Productions Literary Agency is an example of a breed of "agents" that charge writers to represent them, and is listed on the Writers Beware list of Thumbs Down Agencies. His agency does have one unique feature though: the public face of the agency is a sex doll virtual hostess.

If you think that's creepy, well so do some writers. But wait, there's more! Arielle has her own website revealing that she's going to be the star of a movie, Arielle, Doll Warrior. That's right, David Mocknick, literary "agent" is also an aspiring writer, with a script about how his doll came to life, fought terrorists, and learned emotions.

Oh yeah, she also has a Flicker account.

And she tweets as well.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lobotomize myself.
posted by happyroach (27 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Judith Regan was a client on The Millionaire Matchmaker.

I remembered that just now.
posted by Joe Beese at 5:36 PM on December 17, 2010


...

Wow.

That's it, I'm going to James Frey instead.
posted by Artw at 5:44 PM on December 17, 2010


That's right, David Mocknick, literary "agent" is also an aspiring writer, with a script about how his doll came to life, fought terrorists, and learned emotions.

This is like the converse of "self-insert fanfic Mary Sue", right?

("self insert"... ew.)
posted by yeloson at 5:47 PM on December 17, 2010


meta
posted by leotrotsky at 6:35 PM on December 17, 2010


The thing about Mocknick is that he's been in business for years. Years. Here's an AbsoluteWrite.com thread about the company.

This is just the latest and most extreme manifestation of his terrible judgment and lack of professionalism. Who says all publicity is good publicity?
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:56 PM on December 17, 2010


The public face of the agency is a sex doll

Just in case you needed a hint that by having them represent you, you're whoring yourself out.
posted by Philofacts at 6:58 PM on December 17, 2010


Just in case you needed a hint that by having them represent you, you're whoring yourself out.

Well, no. This agency doesn't seem to have ever sold anything to anyone. How do they stay in business? Presumably by charging reading fees to clients.
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:00 PM on December 17, 2010


Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lobotomize myself.

Not enough editorializing!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:09 PM on December 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yo, Mocknick, I'm happy for you and Imma let you finish, but Elisabeth van Hullesem/Melanie Mills/Lisa Hackney/'The Mother-Squasher' is the weirdest literary agent OF ALL TIME!
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:10 PM on December 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


Reminds me of this tiki bar in New Smyrna beach which has a very busty mannequin DJ (warning: MySpace)
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:22 PM on December 17, 2010


Sidhedevil, that's exactly how he makes his money. He charges suckers $500.00 each to represent them.

Whatever one thinks of the mans taste, or sanity, or whatever, the bottom line is a literary agent should never charge you money to represent you- it's the sure sign of a scam.
posted by happyroach at 7:33 PM on December 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'd prefer that my literary agent know that it's spelled "skittish".
posted by Jahaza at 7:55 PM on December 17, 2010


lol
posted by clavdivs at 8:08 PM on December 17, 2010


Fuck you Japan!!!
posted by I love you more when I eat paint chips at 8:33 PM on December 17, 2010


This is actually brilliant*. He bought a sex doll, and came up with a legitimate way to deduct the purchase as a business expense. Guy should be running a tax consulting business instead!

* brilliant if you want to buy a sex doll, that is.
posted by sbutler at 8:35 PM on December 17, 2010 [3 favorites]


...the public face of the agency is a sex doll virtual hostess.

Adding comments has been disabled for this video.

Probably a good idea.
posted by StickyCarpet at 9:40 PM on December 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


"This video is unavailable."

Even better?
posted by Deathalicious at 11:37 PM on December 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh nevermind. Looks like it's just the youtube inline player that isn't working. Carry on.
posted by Deathalicious at 11:38 PM on December 17, 2010


The guy needs to raise his fees, because that's gotta be the ugliest sex doll I ever saw.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:02 AM on December 18, 2010


"I was created as a prototype Hollywood stunt doll, then chemically brought to life..."

...through the ingestion of copious quantities of my owner's man-fluid.

And that stuff dripping from her eye socket in the first video did make me wonder:could this be the very first sex doll with a removable eyeball for skullfucking
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:08 AM on December 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lobotomize myself.
posted by spoobnooble at 4:56 AM on December 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


And that stuff dripping from her eye socket in the first video did make me wonder:could this be the very first sex doll with a removable eyeball for skullfucking

*crumples up patent application*
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:48 AM on December 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


The Uncanny Valley Literary Agency
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:38 AM on December 18, 2010


I, uh...I need to shower. Now.
posted by Evernix at 8:46 AM on December 18, 2010


I finally had to go look at the YouTube video (damn you all), and that sex doll looks like it has previous experience in "Planet of the Apes". Maybe he got a discount, maybe he paid extra, I don't want to think about it.

But are those things usually only 4 feet tall? Because somehow that just makes it extra creepy, if they're kind of child-sized.

No, I am not going to go look it up myself. I'm going to have quite enough trouble getting to sleep tonight as it is.
posted by dilettante at 9:26 AM on December 18, 2010


You know, it could just be a really creepy non-sex doll.
posted by Artw at 9:45 AM on December 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Skiddish industry?
posted by Neofelis at 3:18 PM on December 18, 2010


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