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The paper training video is slightly less heartwarming
December 27, 2010 10:46 AM   Subscribe

Puppies for Christmas. slyt
posted by biddeford (46 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Awwwwwwwwwwwww
posted by Threeway Handshake at 10:53 AM on December 27, 2010


Coming in June 2011: the midsummer montage of "you agreed it would be your responsibility to feed and walk and clean up after..." lectures.
posted by nanojath at 10:56 AM on December 27, 2010 [15 favorites]


And the teaser trailer for that montage is "why do puppies bite everything and pee everywhere," available early February 2011.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:58 AM on December 27, 2010


Dog dammit, I got misty eyed at that crappy video, even as my snarky inner self was concocting remarks about how dogs are reviled in some cultures, and the reactions might be entirely, hilariously different in other countries.

But instead I just got overwhelmed.
posted by Xoebe at 10:59 AM on December 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


*opens box*

GRARRR! HISSSSSS!!

"oh, look - a tom cat ..."
posted by pyramid termite at 11:04 AM on December 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


Awwww holding animals in captivity is so adorable.
posted by Ad hominem at 11:04 AM on December 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


awwwwww
posted by rmd1023 at 11:05 AM on December 27, 2010


Well, a puppy is no bobcat, but still fun I guess.
posted by Kimberly at 11:05 AM on December 27, 2010


I was annoyed by all the shrill squealing little kids until I got to the gramma one and now I AM DELIGHT.
posted by elizardbits at 11:07 AM on December 27, 2010 [7 favorites]


Awww, the old lady at 1:30 is sooo cute.

But you know half of those puppies peed on the person holding them as soon as the camera went off. Puppies are kind of jerks. Adorable little jerks.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:10 AM on December 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Wow, some REALLY bitter no-dog-havin' MeFites in here, haha.. this is GREAT! I like seeing the older folks more than the kids sometimes.. because a puppy brings out the kid in them! Makes me think of my darling golden retriever Emma back at my parent's house...
posted by ReeMonster at 11:11 AM on December 27, 2010


Well great. Now I have all of this awwwww and nothing to do with it. I tried saying hi to the turtle, but she just gave me this baleful eye that said, "Do you not see me sunning myself? Go away."

Awwwww.
posted by 1adam12 at 11:12 AM on December 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


What lazy gifters! I always slaughter and dress the puppies when I gift puppy. Some of my friends live in apartments and it's hard for them to kill and butcher puppies without a proper yard, even if they love puppy.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:14 AM on December 27, 2010 [14 favorites]


hmpf.

That was not the reaction I got when I dressed up as a puppy with a collar and leash and mailed myself to an ex-girlfriend one year.
posted by bitteroldman at 11:15 AM on December 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Owls for Christmas
posted by Ad hominem at 11:16 AM on December 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


Aw gee fellas, you shouldn't have.
posted by benzenedream at 11:17 AM on December 27, 2010


Wow, some REALLY bitter no-dog-havin' MeFites in here, haha

No given the reactions above, I'm pretty sure those are bitter MeFites who have puppies now or have had puppies in the past.
posted by maryr at 11:28 AM on December 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


isn't this how CUJO started?
posted by philip-random at 11:30 AM on December 27, 2010


Puppies are racist!
posted by thinkpiece at 11:31 AM on December 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


Awwww holding animals in captivity is so adorable.

You would rather they were released into the wild?
posted by dfan at 11:35 AM on December 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


A dog is not just for Christmas.
They can also be used to make a delicious sandwich on Boxing Day.
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 11:44 AM on December 27, 2010 [4 favorites]


You would rather they were released into the wild?

Guess we are stuck with them. We can't have puppies roaming the streets causing children to squeal with delight that way.
posted by Ad hominem at 11:54 AM on December 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


Coming in Autumn 2011: the montage of "We found [the furniture-chewing, carpet-pissing, neighbor-biting animal who we just took to the SPCA] a good home on a farm in the country. She'll be happier there." lies.
posted by pracowity at 11:59 AM on December 27, 2010


Couldn't help but smile while I was watching this.
posted by Evernix at 12:01 PM on December 27, 2010


There's no point in putting a puppy in a damn wrapped gift box.
posted by blucevalo at 12:17 PM on December 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


> There's no point in putting a puppy in a damn wrapped gift box.

Maybe its little puppy psyche has some kind of "rebirthing" experience? It's trapped in a tight dark space, then the first person it sees (its new owner) is its rescuer so there is an immediate bond formed there.

Kind of deviously clever if you think about it.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:39 PM on December 27, 2010


There's no point in putting a puppy in a damn wrapped gift box.

If you don't understand the simple joys of temporarily confining a small hyper animal in a tiny space so that it stumbles out excited beyond belief and confused as can be, then I can't explain it. Putting puppies in boxes can be its own reward.
posted by quin at 12:49 PM on December 27, 2010 [7 favorites]


ReeMonster: Wow, some REALLY bitter no-dog-havin' MeFites in here

maryr: No given the reactions above, I'm pretty sure those are bitter MeFites who have puppies now or have had puppies in the past.

Exactly as maryr said. My parents have a new puppy, but are too enamored with it to give it a proper scolding, and as such, the little guy barks at passing dogs, cyclists, joggers, walkers, and mail carriers. I love puppies, but they're pets to be trained, not little cherubs who can do no ill. Once they're trained to respond properly, you can coo over them all you wish.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:02 PM on December 27, 2010


Yeah, cute etc., but please don't do this. Please don't give living creatures as presents. Please don't take a young pup (or mature dog, for that matter) that is naturally disoriented by leaving its litter and familiar safe surroundings -- even a shelter -- as it adapts to an overwhelming new environment and toss it into a bright, loud, flash-bulby, screaming-kiddy, and otherwise traumatic situation. Don't stick a puppy into a scary dark place and then let strangers screech and grab at it and get in its face. Those are threats in dogspeak.

People who do this are teaching their children that it's way more important for them to get an exciting consumer surprise than it is to be kind, responsible, or knowledgeable about animals.

Also, fear makes the puppy meat less tender.
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:05 PM on December 27, 2010 [12 favorites]


My namesake derives from my dog. I was his third owner. He was originally a Christmas puppy that annoyed the first owners, who found out they were not dog people. They gave him to a friend who had a dog, which Nanuk promptly drove crazy with his incessant harassing. They sent him to the pound at the 8 month mark where I promptly adopted him, full well knowing what to expect from a husky (I had some prior experience with my 6th grade, and high school geology teacher's dog). I know this because I had to request his initial medical records and history because I brought him home with giardia and I had to provide the vet with not only his old vet records but some history behind him. In three days he went from the SPCA recommended donation price of $120 to the price of a pure bread with papers. As far as his behavior, he was a rough dog to start, but hey, 5 years into it, he's a pretty happy guy and we've worked out a bunch of his eccentricities - great with kids, big dogs, and people.

A dog is not a good Christmas present. Christmas magic fades, and dogs do not. Nothing should have a bigger buyer beware tag than a puppy at Christmas.
posted by Nanukthedog at 1:12 PM on December 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


Yeah, and within a few days, the families start to realise they actually have to make an effort in looking after these living creatures they wrapped up in boxes and decorative wrapping paper and abandon them.

Now is the time to donate to and/or volunteer at animal shelters, because someone has to cope with the consequences of unprepared parents giving dogs to their little kids for Christmas.

/buzzkill
posted by idiomatika at 1:26 PM on December 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


My favourite bit was the confused kids who got dog toys (?) as gifts but didn't yet have the dog. They looked so baffled.
posted by janepanic at 1:37 PM on December 27, 2010


On the one hand, I absolutely agree that Christmas is an unwise time to get a pet, unless the family has had Serious Talks about the issue beforehand and everyone knows what they're absolutely getting into.

....But on the other hand, then I saw the shots of the older woman squeeing over her new puppy, and the shot of the little black lab romping around in the piles of paper, and I melted.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:52 PM on December 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


> My favourite bit was the confused kids who got dog toys (?) as gifts but didn't yet have the dog. They looked so baffled.

That would've been perfect if they got neuticles in their stockings.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:00 PM on December 27, 2010


I really did want to come in here to chime in with the chorus of A Puppy Is For Life, but suddenly I started tearing up at grandma getting her puppy, and the lecture didn't seem to matter as much.
posted by chronic sublime at 2:20 PM on December 27, 2010


I currently volunteer at a private animal shelter where every December the staff holds special training sessions to prepare new volunteers for "Puppy Season"; the period following Christmas when the shelter gets flooded with unwanted puppies. The same goes for rabbits after Easter and whatever species/breed stars in the latest box office hit animal movie (such as the "Marley & Me" labrador retriever epidemic of 2008).

That said, I did used to fantasize about getting a puppy for Christmas. Instead, my brother and I ended up receiving a tiny Christmas iguana. I'm not sure how Santa could have misread my letter.
posted by adso at 3:35 PM on December 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


They should do a Michael Apted-style follow-up of those same people taking the dogs to the vet in 7-15 years to put the ol' fellas to sleep. You know, for meaning.
posted by CarlRossi at 4:44 PM on December 27, 2010


CarlRossi: Or in about 6 weeks down at the shelter.
posted by rhizome at 5:08 PM on December 27, 2010


C'mon, let's get clever white people. Did no one try to stuff one in a stocking? And I didn't see any wearing mini Santa costumes. Let's name him Bort.
posted by Brocktoon at 5:42 PM on December 27, 2010


I just blew $150 earlier today getting my new (obstinate, disobedient) dog his meds. But even I enjoyed the look on some of those faces.
posted by Gilbert at 9:03 PM on December 27, 2010


I think my heart just grew three sizes.
posted by Dr. Eigenvariable at 9:25 PM on December 27, 2010


I can't remember where I saw it, but recently someone posted a video of themselves (or some other dude) giving his wife/girlfriend a puppy for her birthday (I think) and the expression on her face just says it all - a mixture of horror and disappointment and cooing. If I remember correctly, she pretty much turns to the camera and says "We have to talk about this." and then plays with poor, doomed puppy.

Giving puppies to children is much more fulfilling, both in practice and observation, I suspect.
posted by maryr at 10:15 PM on December 27, 2010


Sheesh, you guys. Of course people should think seriously about getting and/or giving a puppy at Christmas, but that's true for adopting any animal, anywhere. This is not supposed to be an educational video, just a bunch of cute.
posted by Put the kettle on at 11:35 PM on December 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


When I was in elementary school, a classmate received a stuffed animal dog for Christmas with the promise of a dog in the new year after the family had a chance to discuss the logistics and responsibilities of owning a dog. If memory serves, they had that dog for a while, and he was very well-behaved. Not as cute, but worth pointing out.
posted by pxe2000 at 5:14 AM on December 28, 2010


This is not supposed to be an educational video, just a bunch of cute.

Sure, but you could get cute movies of primarily kids (and a few adults) thrilled upon opening just about any sort of present. A new dolly. A new Wii. A shiny new loaded handgun. A new car or toy car. A new copy of the Turner Diaries.

What they're being cute about receiving matters.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:47 AM on December 28, 2010


Em, I meant the cute thing was the puppies. Not the kids.
posted by Put the kettle on at 5:59 PM on December 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


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