Women Laughing Alone With Salad

January 3, 2011 10:27 AM

Women Laughing Alone With Salad.

The Hairpin is the sister site of The Awl, under the editorial eye of Edith Zimmerman (whose contributions to the site often fill me with wonder and dread) and Liz Colville.

posted by hermitosis (86 comments total)

I was totally expecting that url to end in .tumblr.com.
posted by signalnine at 10:31 AM on January 3, 2011 [23 favorites]

There is a large literature suggesting that women, in particular, adjust their eating to accord with consumption stereotypes, specifically that smaller eaters are viewed more favorably. The women we observed adjusted food selection not so as to match men, but perhaps in accordance with beliefs about what men find attractive.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:32 AM on January 3, 2011

I'll donate $10 to a worthy food charity if no one makes a salad tossing joke for the duration of this thread.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:32 AM on January 3, 2011 [5 favorites]

I've seen women do this. It's true.
posted by roll truck roll at 10:34 AM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

Objection. Neither this woman nor this one is alone, although they are the only ones in the picture shown.
posted by DU at 10:34 AM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

Apparently, I have never made women as happy as salad has.
posted by Capt. Renault at 10:35 AM on January 3, 2011 [10 favorites]

Pics or it didn't happen.
posted by hermitosis at 10:35 AM on January 3, 2011

For a bit of media-focused explanation, see also Target: Women (Yogurt Edition), brought to you by the incomparable Sarah Haskins.
posted by dammitjim at 10:36 AM on January 3, 2011 [10 favorites]

There's no way to tell if they're alone or not.
posted by amethysts at 10:36 AM on January 3, 2011

You don't win friends with salad.
posted by R. Mutt at 10:36 AM on January 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

That's crazy. You'd think they were eating yogurt or something.
posted by brundlefly at 10:37 AM on January 3, 2011 [25 favorites]

The implication of any photograph is that the subject is never physically alone. Also, the salad represents their soul which they endlessly consume like some stock photo Ouroboros. Finally, beans.
posted by basicchannel at 10:37 AM on January 3, 2011 [7 favorites]

I've never seen anyone laugh with a salad, alone or otherwise. Maybe with chocolate.
posted by blucevalo at 10:38 AM on January 3, 2011

Not quite as large as its sister-site, Women Crying Alone With Ice Cream
posted by bondcliff at 10:38 AM on January 3, 2011 [42 favorites]

In the comments someone links to another stock photo trope, Happy Black Woman Shopping (1, 2).
posted by hermitosis at 10:38 AM on January 3, 2011 [13 favorites]

I've been doing it wrong! I usually twirl my hair with the fork and put cherry tomatoes in my bra to simulate arousal, instead. The reason you should always order vinaigrette is so that you can make your lips and decolletage glisten.

I really didn't know men would be aroused and women subdued by a vain reverie of my ability to sustain accessible fertility while requiring little clan resources. I'll have to give that a shot. It seems so indirect!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:42 AM on January 3, 2011 [9 favorites]

Objection. Neither this woman nor this one is alone..."

Counter-objection hypothesis: They are watching a clip on Good Morning, Sandusky about how Women Laughing Alone with Salad has gone viral.
posted by Rat Spatula at 10:43 AM on January 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

SEE? IT'S NOT JUST FAT PEOPLE WHO ARE JOLLY.
posted by MuffinMan at 10:44 AM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

that's one droll fucking salad
posted by Greg Nog at 10:48 AM on January 3, 2011 [6 favorites]

Heh, just noticed the feature's "SALOLOLOLOLAD" tag.
posted by hermitosis at 10:48 AM on January 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

In high school, on an early date with a guy who became a pretty serious bf, he took me to a restaurant that had the mother of all salad bars. "Gourmet" everything and killer garlic bread on it. After I ordered the salad bar, boy said "Why do girls think they have to eat salad in front of guys? I like girls who like real food." I said "Be right back" and came back with a plate of awesome that probably included a Mack truck. He said, "Oh, OK, I get it. Cool."
(Now of course, guys don't tend to comment on what I order because am no longer dating 17 year olds)
posted by pointystick at 10:49 AM on January 3, 2011 [7 favorites]

SPOILER: that last photo is the eleventh Doctor and that salad is her Companion.
posted by Greg Nog at 10:50 AM on January 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

I knew a woman who used to do this back in her salad days. Now she just frowns at chicken cutlets.
posted by defenestration at 10:51 AM on January 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

it's simple - you have to make sure the salad has the special mushrooms in it
posted by pyramid termite at 10:52 AM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

woman + laughing + salad
man + laughing + salad

shhhhhhhhhhh!

You don't win friends with salad.

I have learned from direct experience that you certainly can win friends with salad. Particularly potato or pasta salads.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:02 AM on January 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

She's laughing because she just farted.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:04 AM on January 3, 2011 [8 favorites]

This one is pretty good Burhanistan.
posted by edgeways at 11:04 AM on January 3, 2011

Regarding Happy Black Woman Shopping: cf. the Duane Reade lady.
posted by ocherdraco at 11:05 AM on January 3, 2011

I'll have what she's having.
posted by Ratio at 11:05 AM on January 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

Not quite as large as its sister-site, Women Crying Alone With Ice Cream

Fuck. Someone scooped my idea.
posted by special-k at 11:09 AM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

> Fuck. Someone scooped my idea.

You could always start a "Men with Whiskey Bottle Staring Blankly" site.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:11 AM on January 3, 2011 [10 favorites]

I have found frisee to be the funniest lettuce.
posted by rmless at 11:11 AM on January 3, 2011

the internet can always use more Awls and Hairpins, as far as I'm concerned.
posted by traversionischaracter at 11:16 AM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

Fuck. Someone scooped my idea.

I see what you did there.
posted by bondcliff at 11:24 AM on January 3, 2011

Saladcious!

(the "d" is silent)
posted by Eideteker at 11:24 AM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Crap. I'm eating kale and this made me laugh.
(and there's nobody else here right now.)
posted by iamkimiam at 11:35 AM on January 3, 2011 [9 favorites]

This is creepier than muppets with eyes.
posted by TypographicalError at 11:36 AM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

Woman thinking alone with beans.
posted by Kabanos at 12:06 PM on January 3, 2011 [44 favorites]

the internet can always use more Awls and Hairpins, as far as I'm concerned.

this
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:21 PM on January 3, 2011

You have to admit, salad is pretty funny.

I mean, the cherry tomato. Is it a cherry, or is it a tomato? And what's the deal with beets??
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:33 PM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

They aren't alone-- who took the picture?
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:33 PM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

I would call this "Women getting their picture taken and laughing at getting their picture taken while having a salad near them because it was an ad or something"
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 12:33 PM on January 3, 2011

I'll donate $10 to a worthy food charity if no one makes a salad tossing joke for the duration of this thread.

I'll donate $15 if someone makes a really good salad tossing joke.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:43 PM on January 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

Wow my humour tolerance seems particularly low today, as I found this quite funny indeed.
posted by OHenryPacey at 12:43 PM on January 3, 2011

I've always been partial to crying while eating.
posted by kitsy at 12:48 PM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

Finally, a webpage that caters to my specific fetish.
posted by Evstar at 12:52 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

I have a picture of myself eating a leaf of romaine on my OKCupid profile, and users rated it my best picture on OKC's "my best face" thingie.
posted by needs more cowbell at 1:00 PM on January 3, 2011

Thought that would be much funnier.
posted by Charnieia at 1:12 PM on January 3, 2011

I have to admit, salad is pretty funny.
posted by Decani at 1:40 PM on January 3, 2011

You have to admit, salad is pretty funny.

I mean, the cherry cheery tomato

FTFY
posted by MuffinMan at 1:49 PM on January 3, 2011

None of the women are alone, they are eating with a companion - the camera represents the companion as a stand-in for the (female) viewer of the picture, thus the pictures are saying "Here you are eating salad and having fun with your attractive friend, who is laughing at your joke, which makes you a funny, attractive person by implication". I suppose the idea is that you can associate a product, maybe even salad-based, with that positive idea, and sell stuff.
posted by Grangousier at 2:12 PM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

So "Women Laughing Alone With Salad" has gone viral. It told them they needed to wash the greens better.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:30 PM on January 3, 2011

Interesting that in more than half the images, the subject is wearing mostly or some white.

PURITY.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 2:55 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

When I saw this, I thought sure it must've been done by the people who gave us Squiggles, Trees, Ribbons and Spirals: My Collection of Women’s Health, Beauty and Support Group Logos as the Stages of Life in Semi-Particular Order (previously).
posted by straight at 2:58 PM on January 3, 2011 [3 favorites]

Here you are eating salad and having fun with your attractive friend

You don't win friends with salad. You don't win friends with salad.
posted by condour75 at 3:11 PM on January 3, 2011

Ugh... you also don't win friends by not reading the whole thread and seeing the Simpsons reference scattered throughout and then mashing post comment willy nilly.
posted by condour75 at 3:13 PM on January 3, 2011

None of the women are alone, they are eating with a companion - the camera represents the companion as a stand-in for the (female) viewer of the picture, thus the pictures are saying "Here you are eating salad and having fun with your attractive friend, who is laughing at your joke, which makes you a funny, attractive person by implication".

I reject this completely. The woman is meant to be alone, it demonstrates someone really confident who relishes a healthy lifestyle even when eating on her own -- a time when other less fortunate women are more prone to eating something indulgent. She's not afraid of being alone! She likes salads, and health! She finds salads quite satisfying -- entertaining even! She is everything you are not, other less fortunate woman! Would you like to be a little more like her? Then we have some fancy statistics for you to read/products to buy/small concealable razors to cut yourself with.
posted by hermitosis at 3:24 PM on January 3, 2011 [5 favorites]

Why did the tomato blush…it saw the salad dressing.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 3:49 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ugh... you also don't win friends by not reading the whole thread and seeing the Simpsons reference scattered throughout and then mashing post comment willy nilly.

I think you meant "I'm sorry, Lisa, I just got caught up in the rhythm..."
posted by arto at 4:20 PM on January 3, 2011 [2 favorites]

Marketing a 'healthy lifestyle' with attractive, skinny models is an easy (but potentially queasy) business, so let the buyer beware.

WikiHow — How to Avoid Food Poisoning:

While clean salads are an excellent source of vitamins and fiber, salad bars are one of the most common sources of food poisoning. Packing your own carefully-washed salad is a safer alternative.

Consumer Reports — Our tests of prepackaged salads reveal bacterial contamination:

Though you might think that "pre­washed" and "triple-washed" salad greens sold in plastic clamshells or bags are squeaky clean, our recent tests found room for improvement. ...in our samples, all of which were within their use-by date, we did find bacteria that are common indicators of poor sanitation and fecal contamination—in some cases, at rather high levels.

myOptumHealth.com — Food Allergies and Cross-Contamination:

Lisa broke out in hives after eating salad from the cafeteria salad bar. Being allergic to soy, she was careful to avoid the soy items. But she didn't know that the spoon she used for the cucumbers had been used to scoop out tofu by someone else.

And what, women don't eat salad dressing? There's none to be seen in any of these shots.
posted by cenoxo at 4:22 PM on January 3, 2011

Fuck that salad. All its jokes are racist.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:27 PM on January 3, 2011

I must not be a real woman. Salad has never made me laugh. Nor has chocolate made me do that "closed eye bliss face" thing.
posted by sonika at 4:34 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't eat chocolate and have had people question my gender to my face because of it.

Why on earth must I like that foul stuff to be female?
posted by ocherdraco at 4:39 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

I laughed and knew what this was all about before I opened the link! My first thought was, "OOoooooooh, advertising does do that."
posted by shortyJBot at 4:53 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

ocherdraco: "I don't eat chocolate and have had people question my gender to my face because of it."

I'm a guy, don't eat it either and have had people question my humanity because of it. Chocolate has a religious following that I find bizarre.
posted by brundlefly at 4:59 PM on January 3, 2011

My husband is allergic to chocolate and people have flat out implied that his life must not be worth living.

He seems to do ok, though he does eat it anyway... and then whines incessantly about the ensuing migraine.
posted by sonika at 5:32 PM on January 3, 2011

Chocolate has a religious following that I find bizarre. (brundlefly)

OMG, exactly.
posted by ocherdraco at 6:22 PM on January 3, 2011

Chocolate has a religious following that I find bizarre. (brundlefly)

OMG, exactly.

Dip the heretics in 45% caco!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:28 PM on January 3, 2011 [4 favorites]

It's a little discussed and very odd truth--if you say you don't like chocolate, or if you say you don't like the beer taste of beer, people will tell you you're lying.
posted by crush-onastick at 6:37 PM on January 3, 2011 [4 favorites]

or if you say you don't like the beer taste of beer, people will tell you you're lying.

Huh. I don't like the taste of beer and I've yet to be accused of lying. LET THE ACCUSATIONS BEGIN!
posted by sonika at 7:30 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Things that combine bitterness and sweetness sometimes are an acquired taste.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 7:33 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Apparently, I have never made women as happy as salad has.

It's especially disheartening because some of those salads look like they've got iceberg lettuce. I mean, sure, I could see losing out to an endive or romaine, but iceberg?
posted by kirkaracha at 7:34 PM on January 3, 2011 [4 favorites]

Or if you say you do not like the taste of single malt scotch. ::shudders::

I just finished a salad and now I am hyperventilating with delight.
posted by sdn at 7:35 PM on January 3, 2011

I like single malt scotch.



/with ice!
posted by furiousxgeorge at 7:39 PM on January 3, 2011

I like single malt scotch.



/with ice!


to go with your beer battered truffles?
posted by special-k at 7:48 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Truffles are nasty. I prefer beer battered P. cubensis.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 7:53 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

The next time a waiter asks me what kind of salad I'd like, I'm going to request one that's god-damn hilarious.
posted by mazola at 9:11 PM on January 3, 2011

There is always making a salad of young poppy leaves. So it blows the drug test? At least that is a happy salad!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 9:22 PM on January 3, 2011

Muffin-induced weeping is so rarely captured on film. But it, too, is beautiful.
posted by ferkit at 9:30 PM on January 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

The next time a waiter asks me what kind of salad I'd like, I'm going to request one that's god-damn hilarious.

Just try getting a waiter's attention when you're dining alone.
posted by hermitosis at 10:25 PM on January 3, 2011

Those women aren't alone, they're independent.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:46 AM on January 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

I've known many women who ate nothing but salad, and in every case I've suspected some form of anorexia/body dysphoria. Except for the woman who supplemented it with beer and fried chicken. That was alcoholism.
posted by Elizabeth the Thirteenth at 8:00 AM on January 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Nor has chocolate made me do that "closed eye bliss face" thing.

I get that from meat sometimes.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:22 AM on January 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

eponysterical
posted by Kabanos at 1:12 PM on January 4, 2011

Men Laughing Alone with Fruit Salad
posted by ohohcyte at 3:05 PM on January 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

In my experience fruit salad causes meloncholy.
posted by Kabanos at 9:44 AM on January 5, 2011