Jackie the Hitler-Mocking Dog
January 7, 2011 9:24 AM Subscribe
"Just months before the Nazis launched their attack on the Soviet Union, they had nothing better to do than to obsess about this dog." Introducing Jackie, the Finnish dog that infuriated the Nazis.
We haf ways of making you bark.
posted by benzenedream at 9:29 AM on January 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 9:29 AM on January 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
Researchers at the German Foreign Office uncovered a cache of documents and diplomatic cables concerning Jackie
If only there had been a Wikileaks at the time; this dog and his glasses might have ridiculed Hitler right out of power!
posted by chavenet at 9:30 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
If only there had been a Wikileaks at the time; this dog and his glasses might have ridiculed Hitler right out of power!
posted by chavenet at 9:30 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Vhen der Fuhrer says ve iss der master race, ve Voof! Voof! right in der Fuhrer's face!
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:32 AM on January 7, 2011 [29 favorites]
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:32 AM on January 7, 2011 [29 favorites]
You know who else had a dog?
posted by HuronBob at 9:34 AM on January 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by HuronBob at 9:34 AM on January 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
He denied ever calling the dog by the German dictator's name, but admitted that his wife called the dog Hitler.
A true hero.
posted by DU at 9:34 AM on January 7, 2011
A true hero.
posted by DU at 9:34 AM on January 7, 2011
Look at the dog. He is perfect.
posted by The Whelk at 9:36 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 9:36 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
"Attempts were also made to sabotage his business, the papers show."
Each time, the Nazis were foiled by Jackie, the sunglasses wearing, Hitler mocking dog and his companion, a stranded child by the name of Kevin McCallister in a series of improbable encounters.
posted by boo_radley at 9:39 AM on January 7, 2011 [9 favorites]
Each time, the Nazis were foiled by Jackie, the sunglasses wearing, Hitler mocking dog and his companion, a stranded child by the name of Kevin McCallister in a series of improbable encounters.
posted by boo_radley at 9:39 AM on January 7, 2011 [9 favorites]
The dog is wearing sunglasses.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:42 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:42 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
Umm, just a little sideline here: the store was actually originally called Tampereen Rohdoskauppa. Rohdoskauppa means, roughly, 'remedy store'.
'kuppa', the incorrect suffix used in the story, means the clap (aka syfilis) which is not something we tend to name our stores after.
And yeah, the BBC article calls Finland 'Nazi-friendly' which is not entirely accurate. (Read the account of Mannerheim meeting with Hitler to get a feel of how well the two nations got on. Let's just say that a Nazi-saluting dog was not the main issue Germany had with Finland.)
posted by slimepuppy at 9:42 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
'kuppa', the incorrect suffix used in the story, means the clap (aka syfilis) which is not something we tend to name our stores after.
And yeah, the BBC article calls Finland 'Nazi-friendly' which is not entirely accurate. (Read the account of Mannerheim meeting with Hitler to get a feel of how well the two nations got on. Let's just say that a Nazi-saluting dog was not the main issue Germany had with Finland.)
posted by slimepuppy at 9:42 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
Dogwin.
posted by naju at 9:46 AM on January 7, 2011 [102 favorites]
posted by naju at 9:46 AM on January 7, 2011 [102 favorites]
Reminds of the Jewish member of the unit in Saving Private Ryan waving his Star of David necklace in front of the Nazi POWs being marched through the camp while smiling and saying "Juden...Juden."
posted by dry white toast at 9:46 AM on January 7, 2011
posted by dry white toast at 9:46 AM on January 7, 2011
Dogwin
Thread's over, folks. Nothing else for any of us to do here.
posted by dry white toast at 9:48 AM on January 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
Thread's over, folks. Nothing else for any of us to do here.
posted by dry white toast at 9:48 AM on January 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
slimepuppy: "Let's just say that a Nazi-saluting dog was not the main issue Germany had with Finland."
True. As any history buff will tell you, it was the pig the Finns name Goebbels that really pushed them over the edge.
Alright, not really. But this sort of confirms my viewpoint that Finland was the ultimate Nazi troll with the Winter War: "Look, if Russia's so weak they can't steamroll over these guys, why are we even waiting to invade Moscow? We won't even have to bring longjohns!"
posted by boo_radley at 9:50 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
True. As any history buff will tell you, it was the pig the Finns name Goebbels that really pushed them over the edge.
Alright, not really. But this sort of confirms my viewpoint that Finland was the ultimate Nazi troll with the Winter War: "Look, if Russia's so weak they can't steamroll over these guys, why are we even waiting to invade Moscow? We won't even have to bring longjohns!"
posted by boo_radley at 9:50 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
Oh man, sunglass-wearing dog plus Hitler parody? Too much awesomeness for a Friday.
My two fave Hitler bits:
(1) There were zwei peanuts, walking down the straße, und one was a salted... peanut
(2) Disco Hitler
posted by BarnacleKB at 9:51 AM on January 7, 2011
My two fave Hitler bits:
(1) There were zwei peanuts, walking down the straße, und one was a salted... peanut
(2) Disco Hitler
posted by BarnacleKB at 9:51 AM on January 7, 2011
Jackie's sunglasses are not though [sic] to have been part of his Hitler impression
How droll. I love you, BBC.
posted by joannemerriam at 9:58 AM on January 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
How droll. I love you, BBC.
posted by joannemerriam at 9:58 AM on January 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
Yes, very good, but can the dog sing the theme from The Jeffersons?
posted by fight or flight at 9:59 AM on January 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by fight or flight at 9:59 AM on January 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
maybe i'll get a dog and toilet train him on the constitution
i'll call him boehner
posted by pyramid termite at 10:01 AM on January 7, 2011 [9 favorites]
i'll call him boehner
posted by pyramid termite at 10:01 AM on January 7, 2011 [9 favorites]
I guess Mr. Peabody's time machine really worked.
posted by electroboy at 10:02 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by electroboy at 10:02 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
but where will you find an orange dog
posted by boo_radley at 10:03 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by boo_radley at 10:03 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
Now I want Quentin Tarantino to recut Inglourious Basterds to include Jackie (in ze cool shades) saluting der Fuhrer just before the wunderbar assassination scene climax.
posted by bearwife at 10:03 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by bearwife at 10:03 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
It is 1PM over here, and I'm on my way to see True Grit. But I'm afraid this post here may be the greatest thing I see all day. Might as well go back to bed.
posted by marxchivist at 10:05 AM on January 7, 2011
posted by marxchivist at 10:05 AM on January 7, 2011
He gave Hitler salutes? Too bad no one from Metafilter was around at the time to explain to the dog what a serious matter Hitler is and how you're a monster if you joke about him.
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:09 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:09 AM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
Each time, the Nazis were foiled by Jackie, the sunglasses wearing, Hitler mocking dog
Jackie : Poochie :: Frank Herbert : Brian Herbert
posted by cortex at 10:09 AM on January 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
Jackie : Poochie :: Frank Herbert : Brian Herbert
posted by cortex at 10:09 AM on January 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
That's nothing you should have heard about the time that Hitler and Charles Lindbergh went out for drinks and when they got back to the Volkswagon some unknown persona had keyed it. Hitler was like "Dieses ist einest geburtstaghundenschwitzel. Ich wilt krampenshush dass eigenwassen gewaltisehen" And Lindbergh was all like, "whoah Adolph, buddy, some wax will buff that right out. Let's just go back into the club and have another drink, I don't even think you were speaking German there." Hilter, continued to complain about the outrage, and sulked while Charles drove them home. Later they tried to have a three way with Eva, but Hitler seemed distracted and distant. He stormed out of the room midway through after declaring that he wouldn't be enjoy it until he set things right. The sound of the buffing wheel could be heard from the garage. The next morning a still furious Hitler was ranting about the car and the obvious failure of the buffer, the need to repaint his car, and longstanding known fact that buffers were an insult to Germans. Thus he decided to send troops into Alsace-Loraine.
posted by humanfont at 10:17 AM on January 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
posted by humanfont at 10:17 AM on January 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
Jackie : Poochie :: Frank Herbert : Brian Herbert
That's a little mean, isn't it? Poochie isn't nearly that awful.
posted by kmz at 10:18 AM on January 7, 2011
That's a little mean, isn't it? Poochie isn't nearly that awful.
posted by kmz at 10:18 AM on January 7, 2011
The German article has a funny caption accompanying a picture of a generic dog: "Das ist kein Hitlergruß" or, "This is not a Hitler salute."
posted by General Malaise at 10:20 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by General Malaise at 10:20 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Showing yet again, as if we didn't know, that mockery upsets over-inflated, self-regarding dickheads more than just about anything else.
posted by Decani at 10:26 AM on January 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Decani at 10:26 AM on January 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
slimepuppy: "Umm, just a little sideline here: the store was actually originally called Tampereen Rohdoskauppa. Rohdoskauppa means, roughly, 'remedy store'.
'kuppa', the incorrect suffix used in the story, means the clap (aka syfilis) which is not something we tend to name our stores after.
Yeah, "Tapereen Rohduskuppa" took the story from odd to hilarious.
posted by severiina at 10:26 AM on January 7, 2011
'kuppa', the incorrect suffix used in the story, means the clap (aka syfilis) which is not something we tend to name our stores after.
Yeah, "Tapereen Rohduskuppa" took the story from odd to hilarious.
posted by severiina at 10:26 AM on January 7, 2011
slimepuppy: "means the clap (aka syfilis) which is not something we tend to name our stores after. "
So you probably haven't seen this yet, then. (Not Finnish as far as I know.)
posted by boo_radley at 10:33 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
So you probably haven't seen this yet, then. (Not Finnish as far as I know.)
posted by boo_radley at 10:33 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
What's kind of surprising to me is that they weren't able to bring the guy to trial because they couldn't find a witness. In my mind, I picture the Nazi's as just this evil force that was taking people and killing them. I would expect that they would just disappear the guy, his wife and his dog and be done with it. I never really think of the Nazis as a frustrated bureaucracy that can't find a rule to hang somebody on.
posted by willnot at 10:39 AM on January 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by willnot at 10:39 AM on January 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
Speaking as a resident of Tampere, I believe we need a statue of Jackie. With the shades.
posted by The Mouthchew at 10:39 AM on January 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by The Mouthchew at 10:39 AM on January 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
Presumably Tao Lin's manifest lack of enthusiasm for Nazism also would have enraged the Führer.
posted by lukemeister at 10:43 AM on January 7, 2011
posted by lukemeister at 10:43 AM on January 7, 2011
Newly discovered documents have revealed a bizarre footnote to the history of the Second World War
I think they meant pawnote, amirite
I'll show myself out now
posted by Osrinith at 10:49 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
I think they meant pawnote, amirite
I'll show myself out now
posted by Osrinith at 10:49 AM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
This may be the best photo cutline I have ever read: "Jackie's sunglasses are not thought to have been part of his Hitler impression"
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:13 AM on January 7, 2011
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:13 AM on January 7, 2011
I never really think of the Nazis as a frustrated bureaucracy that can't find a rule to hang somebody on.
It was Finland, which was a shaky but geopolitically important ally.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:18 AM on January 7, 2011
It was Finland, which was a shaky but geopolitically important ally.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:18 AM on January 7, 2011
Either the Wikipedia article portrays a revisionist perspective on Finnish history, or Mannerheim was one of the most skillful politicians of the 20th Century.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:19 AM on January 7, 2011
posted by KokuRyu at 11:19 AM on January 7, 2011
It does boggle the mind, though. A regime that exterminated 6 million people, simply and arbitrarily, and invaded a continent through force of arms, dickering around through the legal system of a neutral country to try to undermine a man whose dog shook a paw the wrong way.
I feel lik this is all so telling; I'm just not sure what it's meant to be telling me.
posted by bicyclefish at 11:22 AM on January 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
I feel lik this is all so telling; I'm just not sure what it's meant to be telling me.
posted by bicyclefish at 11:22 AM on January 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
And speaking of Nazis and dogs, they considered white German Shepherds inferior.
posted by Zed at 11:29 AM on January 7, 2011
posted by Zed at 11:29 AM on January 7, 2011
Perhaps he was a member of the woofwaffe?
I'll get my coat.
posted by ob at 11:48 AM on January 7, 2011 [8 favorites]
I'll get my coat.
posted by ob at 11:48 AM on January 7, 2011 [8 favorites]
Another thing the that bothered the Nazis in the early '40s: a British-produced "mashup" of German soldiers doing the Lambeth Walk, from the popular musical Me And My Girl. Goebbels was apparently so enraged by this that he threw a chair across the room.
To which Churchill is said to have replied "U Mad?"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:22 PM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
To which Churchill is said to have replied "U Mad?"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:22 PM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
Another thing the that bothered the Nazis in the early '40s: a British-produced "mashup" of German soldiers doing the Lambeth Walk
Actually the CRTC recognizes that clip as Canadian Content
posted by KokuRyu at 12:38 PM on January 7, 2011
Actually the CRTC recognizes that clip as Canadian Content
posted by KokuRyu at 12:38 PM on January 7, 2011
JACKIE: Worried about a dog? Sounds like they were ...
[Removes sunglasses]
... barking up the wrong tree.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp!
posted by zippy at 12:44 PM on January 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
[Removes sunglasses]
... barking up the wrong tree.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp!
posted by zippy at 12:44 PM on January 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
Dogwin.
That rulez on so many levels, I feel a little bit sick with glee.
posted by Skygazer at 12:55 PM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
That rulez on so many levels, I feel a little bit sick with glee.
posted by Skygazer at 12:55 PM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
This machine dog kills enrages fascists.
Goddamnit. Beat at my own game.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 1:07 PM on January 7, 2011
Goddamnit. Beat at my own game.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 1:07 PM on January 7, 2011
DEAL WITH IT.
posted by stinkycheese at 1:22 PM on January 7, 2011
posted by stinkycheese at 1:22 PM on January 7, 2011
Slimepuppy: Read the account of Mannerheim meeting with Hitler to get a feel of how well the two nations got on. Let's just say that a Nazi-saluting dog was not the main issue Germany had with Finland.
It's too bad the Finns where historically much more afraid of the Soviets than they were of German, because they gave the Soviets the fight to end all fights during WWII. It sad to think they couldn't put that military genius and scrappiness to work against the Nazi's, although from that link you provided seems like they did a decent job of keeping Hitler at bay and out of their hair somewhat.
Mannerheim steamrolled Hitler with a cigar.
Yes, I'll grab my hat now, also...
posted by Skygazer at 1:23 PM on January 7, 2011
It's too bad the Finns where historically much more afraid of the Soviets than they were of German, because they gave the Soviets the fight to end all fights during WWII. It sad to think they couldn't put that military genius and scrappiness to work against the Nazi's, although from that link you provided seems like they did a decent job of keeping Hitler at bay and out of their hair somewhat.
Mannerheim steamrolled Hitler with a cigar.
Yes, I'll grab my hat now, also...
posted by Skygazer at 1:23 PM on January 7, 2011
"I thought you said your dog did not salute?"
"That's not my dog."
posted by clvrmnky at 1:28 PM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
"That's not my dog."
posted by clvrmnky at 1:28 PM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
The odd thing is that this was happening while they were winning, or at least not losing. I can imagine that when things were looking a bit sticky on the Eastern Front, which was at this point somewhere rather closer to Leipzig than you'd expected, and you'd already missed the option that would get you the good ending (playing in goal for Manchester City, embraced by the British, a national hero after playing in the FA Cup final with a broken neck), then I can see why you might want to pass the time getting upset about dogs called Hitler. Why the hell not? That's exactly the sort of thing they got up to in Salo. But surely there were other things to be getting on with?
posted by DNye at 1:51 PM on January 7, 2011
posted by DNye at 1:51 PM on January 7, 2011
If some Mefite doesn't do a Downfall parody based on this, I will be sorely disappointed.
posted by lordrunningclam at 2:02 PM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by lordrunningclam at 2:02 PM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Even more obscure to historians is that the dog not only raised his paw when he heard the name "Hilter", he would immediately defecate upon hearing the name "Goebbels".
posted by bwg at 3:36 PM on January 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by bwg at 3:36 PM on January 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
I knew a Basset Hound who could do a killer Nixon.
posted by longsleeves at 3:53 PM on January 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by longsleeves at 3:53 PM on January 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
Either the Wikipedia article portrays a revisionist perspective on Finnish history, or Mannerheim was one of the most skillful politicians of the 20th Century.
The latter, I would suggest, or Finland simply wouldn't exist.
It's too bad the Finns where historically much more afraid of the Soviets than they were of German, because they gave the Soviets the fight to end all fights during WWII.
Well, if the Soviets hadn't wanted the Finns to feel that way, perhaps they should have eased up on the whole killin' and rapin' their way around Finland.
posted by rodgerd at 4:12 PM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
The latter, I would suggest, or Finland simply wouldn't exist.
It's too bad the Finns where historically much more afraid of the Soviets than they were of German, because they gave the Soviets the fight to end all fights during WWII.
Well, if the Soviets hadn't wanted the Finns to feel that way, perhaps they should have eased up on the whole killin' and rapin' their way around Finland.
posted by rodgerd at 4:12 PM on January 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
This sorta makes me want to teach my Finnish Spitz how to do a Nazi salute. Sorta.
posted by ryoshu at 5:12 PM on January 7, 2011
posted by ryoshu at 5:12 PM on January 7, 2011
Somewhere there's a tea bagger with a dog that woofs "yes we can"
posted by the noob at 6:27 PM on January 7, 2011
posted by the noob at 6:27 PM on January 7, 2011
i was down in berlin inspectin some brownshirts when all of a sudden this finnish dog named the ultimate hitler popped his shades-wearin head out of a polished jackboot and was like "boy, yo third reich so weak, it's gonna be owned by a cripple who wears dresses." the force of his words destroyed my left nut, so i turned away shakeing and invaded russia in anger but then my army was massacred on the wintry steppes and i was like damn.
posted by Rhaomi at 7:36 PM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Rhaomi at 7:36 PM on January 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
Jackie's sunglasses are not though [sic] to have been part of his Hitler impression
WHY THE HELL IS THIS DOG WEARING SUNGLASSES?
posted by LiteOpera at 12:26 PM on January 8, 2011
WHY THE HELL IS THIS DOG WEARING SUNGLASSES?
posted by LiteOpera at 12:26 PM on January 8, 2011
Because he's one badass Hitler hatin' mofo, would be my guess.
posted by Skygazer at 12:34 PM on January 8, 2011
posted by Skygazer at 12:34 PM on January 8, 2011
Because he's one badass Hitler hatin' mofo, would be my guess.
Looks like
Der Fuhrer
Screwed the pooch.
YYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:51 PM on January 8, 2011
Looks like
Der Fuhrer
Screwed the pooch.
YYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:51 PM on January 8, 2011
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