Unintended consequences
January 11, 2011 11:36 AM   Subscribe

A brief alternate ending to Return Of The Jedi.
posted by hippybear (44 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
I heart the "Oh shit" look on Lando's face there. Perfect.
posted by Kitteh at 11:39 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


So the destruction of the Death Star also kills all the Ewoks? What's the downside of that?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:40 AM on January 11, 2011 [9 favorites]


posted by hippybear

Eponysterical?

I've seen this same "Death Star II destruction = Ewok apocalypse" gag expressed a dozen times before, but the editing on this vid really makes it sing.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:44 AM on January 11, 2011


What's the downside of that?

That we don't get to see them rock out.
posted by 23skidoo at 11:47 AM on January 11, 2011 [7 favorites]


Yub, nub, and match.
posted by sourwookie at 11:49 AM on January 11, 2011 [9 favorites]


A basic primer to the Endor Holocaust meme.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:53 AM on January 11, 2011 [3 favorites]


We had to destroy Endor in order to save it
posted by octothorpe at 11:55 AM on January 11, 2011 [3 favorites]


What's the downside of that?

That we don't get to see them rock out.


And you consider that a negative?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:57 AM on January 11, 2011


Oh god, back when I was editing Wikipedia there was an endless flamewar about whether there should be an article on the Endorian Holocaust: 1 2, 3.
posted by Paragon at 11:57 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


The needs of the many outweigh the needs of a few, or the one.
posted by FfejL at 12:00 PM on January 11, 2011


Related: An alternate ending to Lord of the Rings
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:06 PM on January 11, 2011 [17 favorites]


KAHN!
posted by lampshade at 12:06 PM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


the Endor Holocaust? I guess Patton Oswalt was unnecessarily worried about the death of geek culture.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 12:10 PM on January 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


A basic primer to the Endor Holocaust meme.

I wouldn't call it a meme, per se. Once you go beyond simple black and white, good and evil, it becomes pretty clear that the entire series can be viewed through this lens. The "rebels" aren't much more than royalists fighting to reclaim what they believe is theirs through divine right from an efficient (though perhaps a bit bloody) merit-based government. The royalists find support from the remnants of the Jedi, who amount to little more than elitists who use genetic makeup to determine eligibility for their club.

I could go on and on, but it's been done to death all over the Internet.
posted by explosion at 12:13 PM on January 11, 2011 [6 favorites]


Pop culture today means everything always forever.

WHERE'S THE BEEF?
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:13 PM on January 11, 2011


THEY'RE TAKING THE EWOKS TO ISENGARD!
posted by blue_beetle at 12:19 PM on January 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


I like the Ewoks.
posted by zizzle at 12:22 PM on January 11, 2011 [6 favorites]


Weren't Han and Leia still on Endor when the Death Star blew up? They died too.
posted by SansPoint at 12:26 PM on January 11, 2011


And Chewbacca. And presumably Luke died in the storm of raining metal unless he took a non-direct path from the Death Star with the body of his father to Endor.
posted by hippybear at 12:35 PM on January 11, 2011


KAHN!

kahn?

kahn...

posted by Debaser626 at 12:46 PM on January 11, 2011


I like the Ewoks.

They are delicious.
posted by device55 at 12:52 PM on January 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


DOH!
posted by Samizdata at 1:07 PM on January 11, 2011


I like the Ewoks.

You lot are *looks* right after the marketing division of Sirius Cybernetics, that bunch of mindless jerks.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:37 PM on January 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


And Chewbacca.

Chewbacca could easily survive a moon sized object falling on him, you guys are ridiculous. It's a good thing people like you are kept from writing Star Wars stuff. Dead Chewie, ridiculous.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 2:26 PM on January 11, 2011 [5 favorites]


This is all easily explained with some simple Star Trekian atmospheric ionization effects.
posted by Brocktoon at 2:33 PM on January 11, 2011


Without being all "omg stop being pedantic" about it, I have a hard time with applying science to Star Wars given the X-wing sounds. In space, no one can hear you swoosh.
posted by immlass at 2:39 PM on January 11, 2011


FYI, The swoosh sound is added for the hard of hearing.
posted by Atreides at 2:47 PM on January 11, 2011 [4 favorites]


Yub nub, eee chop yub nub!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:58 PM on January 11, 2011 [3 favorites]


The the sounds of fighters in space are generated by sensors on the craft to help the pilots locate threats in a dogfight. And to evoke audience response.

Regarding the link: I think the Endor apocalypse part could have been a little better done than a couple of shots of burning trees and campfire sounds. I mean, it's not as if there isn't a large body of "destruction of earth by extraterrestrial means" work they could have sampled from.
posted by moonbiter at 3:02 PM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


For crying out loud, moonbiter, it wasn't Earth. IT WAS ENDOR. The footage would look completely different.
posted by dubold at 3:22 PM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


No.
posted by hafehd at 3:28 PM on January 11, 2011


Ah, yes, dubold. You have me there. I conceed. I forgot that Endor is a Forest Moon.
posted by moonbiter at 3:30 PM on January 11, 2011


Atom Eyes, it really needs some sort of guidance system.
posted by sebastienbailard at 4:08 PM on January 11, 2011


Well, technically, Endor is a planet around which the forest moon orbits. People make the same mistake about Wisconsin and that piece of Michigan attached to it.
posted by Atreides at 6:14 PM on January 11, 2011 [10 favorites]


Many Ewoks died to bring us this ending.
posted by dry white toast at 7:05 PM on January 11, 2011


In a few years, video effects software cheap enoug for amateurs to use will be as convincing looking as the latest from ILM. Then, this can be done properly with burning, screaming ewok footage taken right from the original.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:09 PM on January 11, 2011


In space, no one can hear you swoosh.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:40 PM on January 11, 2011


Too soon.






(totally used this joke in the last Endor Holocaust thread)
posted by brundlefly at 10:50 PM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


All of this Endor Holocaust speculation presumes that the Death Star II was being held in an artificial orbit. This presumption is not proved.

It simply became a metallic ring around the moon.
posted by Bonzai at 8:04 AM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


There's only one way to find out what would really happen if the Death Star II blew up.

That's right... The Mythbusters will need to build a life-size Death Star II around our moon... And then blow it up.
posted by drezdn at 12:23 PM on January 12, 2011 [4 favorites]


That's no moon. That's a Space Buster!
posted by hippybear at 4:28 PM on January 12, 2011


The force is strong with Marty...
posted by samsara at 6:38 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


I prefer the alternate ending where Luke takes up Vader's offer to rule the galaxy as father and son.
posted by whuppy at 8:00 AM on January 16, 2011


In my favorite alternative ending they agree to rule the galaxy together and kill the Emperor in the middle of their duel in RoTJ, but get blown up with the Death Star anyway proving that whole scene was pointless.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 2:40 PM on January 18, 2011


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