Michael, Mikey, Mike

January 14, 2011 5:21 PM

Michael, Michael, Michael!; SLVimeo (1.38); every line of dialogue in The Lost Boys is "Michael".

And seeing Keifer Sutherland makes me think that if someone did this with "24", every line would be "Jack".

posted by bwg (67 comments total)

This is particularly amazing given that, if you'd asked me, "Who's the protagonist in The Lost Boys?", I woulda been like, "Uh... so there's the Frog brothers? One of the Coreys? Kiefer Sutherland? Uh... sax guy? Is it one of them?"
posted by Greg Nog at 5:30 PM on January 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

If you like this style of quick-cut obsessive fan edits, you might appreciate this list of supercuts I've been compiling for the last three years. Just cleared the 100th video mark. P.S. Self-link!
posted by waxpancake at 5:37 PM on January 14, 2011 [11 favorites]

I have seen a world that no man should see!
posted by Dumsnill at 5:39 PM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

There was a Lost Boys 2? Released in 2008? With a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes? Hoo boy.
posted by ixohoxi at 5:39 PM on January 14, 2011

Leads. Leads? Leads!
posted by bobo123 at 5:42 PM on January 14, 2011

WHAT??
posted by nzero at 5:48 PM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

bwg: "And seeing Keifer Sutherland makes me think that if someone did this with "24", every line would be "Jack"."

Or, "Dammit!"
posted by bwg at 5:53 PM on January 14, 2011

"Who's the protagonist in The Lost Boys?", I woulda been like, "Uh... so there's the Frog brothers? One of the Coreys?

Michael is somewhat interesting as a magnified vampiric version of teenage moodiness/crisis, but pretty much a crap protagonist. He doesn't seem to make a lot of choices or develop much. He chases a girl down, succumbs to peer pressure, gets tricked into becoming a vampire, and acts brooding and sullen until he finally gets the fight with David he and everybody else has been waiting for the whole film, which ends predictably.

Sam (Corey Haim), on the other hand, makes connections with everybody else in the film, tries to take an active role in figuring out what's going on and coming up with solutions, and stands by Michael even after he's been jerk and tried to kill him. Sam also kills as many vampires as Michael does, sans vampiric powers.

The Frog brothers are a little cartoonish, but fun, and again, they actually do things rather than just sortof letting things happen to them.

So, yeah, I think there's a reason why it's easier to remember the Frog brothers and Sam instead of Michael.

Maybe repeating his name is some kind of attempted fix for this problem. :)

BTW... does the film itself have the same problem? Is it actually popular / well-known among... well, anybody? Because periodically, when social situations approach peer pressure, I'll put a little Keifer tone in my voice and say "Join us, Michael. Be one of us." And don't think I've ever gotten even a flicker of recognition.
posted by weston at 5:54 PM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

ixohoxi: "There was a Lost Boys 2? Released in 2008? With a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes? Hoo boy"

See also...
posted by brundlefly at 5:55 PM on January 14, 2011

Corey Feldman's apparently fallen on hard times... I guess that's the reward for trying to capitalize on the teen vampire movies of prior generations while that of the current generation is in full swing.
posted by kaibutsu at 6:02 PM on January 14, 2011

I've notice this phenomenon of unnatural name-repetition in literally dozens of movies over the years. Recently I caught part of So I Married An Axe Murderer on TV and I swear the "Charlie!" count in that exceeds the Lost Boy's "Michael!" count two-fold.

What is this about? Is it really as simple as I've assumed: without the constant name-saying, the scripts of these movies would only be 14 pages long?
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 6:02 PM on January 14, 2011

Only yesterday, I saw a link for Corey Haim's mum's "newly released" 911 call. I didn't click on the link, but read a few comments about the dispatcher not being able to understand English and the usual "Indian call centres" diatribe.

Corey Feldman's apparently fallen on hard times... I guess that's the reward for trying to capitalize on the teen vampire movies of prior generations while that of the current generation is in full swing.

His parents stole a lot of his dosh. Surprise surprise.

Corey Feldman: older, wiser, $1 million poorer
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:19 PM on January 14, 2011

Sam (Corey Haim), on the other hand, makes connections with everybody else in the film, tries to take an active role in figuring out what's going on and coming up with solutions, and stands by Michael even after he's been jerk and tried to kill him. Sam also kills as many vampires as Michael does, sans vampiric powers.

AND he does it with his mouth half-open, like a cat who forgot to pull in his tongue!
posted by Greg Nog at 6:21 PM on January 14, 2011

OK, that did really, really weird things with my head.
posted by Michael Roberts at 6:22 PM on January 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

I got the Lost Boys a few weeks ago from Netflix and re-watched it. Then I watched the outtakes and extras. Somewhere in there is a decent movie plot, but a lot of it is just beyond my understanding: sax guy, the outtake where Sam inexplicably bites Michael in the crotch, the hilarious Mighty Ducks meets PVC Fetish #3 uniforms of the vampire biker gang, etc.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:28 PM on January 14, 2011

Is it actually popular / well-known among... well, anybody?

It is definitely well known among my friends (30-ish). In fact, we have screened it twice recently, each time with some people that had not seen it before, and everyone loved it!
posted by squid in a people suit at 6:30 PM on January 14, 2011

> Is it actually popular / well-known among... well, anybody?

It is definitely well known among my friends (30-ish). In fact, we have screened it twice recently, each time with some people that had not seen it before, and everyone loved it!

I'll second that. Maybe it's because my friends tend to number among the habitually black-clad set, but Lost Boys (and its soundtrack) is pretty universally known.

"Death...by stereo!"
posted by djwudi at 7:02 PM on January 14, 2011

Yeah, Lost Boys is a cult movie. A cult movie I've only seen once, and never really got. I thought the mum was absolutely gorgeous for a... erm... mum.

That scene where Smithers is dreaming about Mr Burns floating outside his bedroom window. Is that a hat tip to Salem's Lot or Lost Boys? Or is the Lost Boys version a hat tip to the Salem's Lot version?
posted by uncanny hengeman at 7:09 PM on January 14, 2011

Wow. I think this is a touching and fitting tribute to the man who bowed out early in the elections process for the chair of the Republican National Committee today.
posted by crunchland at 7:10 PM on January 14, 2011

I loved The Lost Boys. Saw it probably 5 times in the theater, and numerous times on various forms of video. It was über-cool for its time.

It also works well as a film which uses vampires as a metaphor for cocaine/meth addiction.
posted by hippybear at 7:16 PM on January 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Just cleared the 100th video mark.

Amazing! I didn't see Network in there, but if you're looking for a place where the name "Mr. Beale" is said dozens of times, look no further than Arthur Jensen's corporate cosmology speech.
posted by SteelyDuran at 7:23 PM on January 14, 2011

I'm shocked that "Jack" from TITANIC hasn't been done similarly. Then again, you wouldn't need to edit. There's 13 in a row without another line of freakin' dialog during the sinking.

I quote LOST BOYS all the time: "I get 'TV Guide' so I don't need a TV." Yeah, no one remembers how awesome the Grandpa character was. "Nice place. Too bad there's so many vampires."
posted by Gucky at 7:30 PM on January 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

I've not perused Waxy's link yet, but the video compilation of Sawyer repeatedly saying 'sonofabitch' had better be on there.
posted by norm at 7:33 PM on January 14, 2011

The Lost Boys is one of a long example of films that wasted the talents of Jason Patrick, and extremely interesting and entertainingly eccentric character actor who was cursed with a leading man's good looks.

There's almost nothing to recommend the movie The Losers, except that Jason Patrick is so wildly insane in it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:51 PM on January 14, 2011

Lost Boys is one of the great, forgotten films. Mixing Santa Cruz surfer culture with vampire legend was a brilliantly inspired idea, the casting is amazing, the pacing is good, the directing is great. Truly a gem of filmmaking. There's something awful and wrong about the movie, some basic flaw. I can't quite describe it, I wish I could, since most people just see Lost Boys and see a terrible movie. I see a great movie that's just a little corrupted, and I don't know why.
posted by Nelson at 7:53 PM on January 14, 2011

I have Lost Boys on DVD; my husband bought it for me because we lived in Santa Cruz, where it was filmed, so we could spot the filming locations and stand on (pre-24) Kiefer's hallowed ground. It's definitely got a bit of cult status with our early/mid-30s friends, although I don't know that we could quote from memory beyond, "You're one of us now, Michael."

Oh, wait. "You're eating maggots, Michael."

"There's only one problem with Santa CruzCarla. All the damn vampires."

Yeah, Grandpa was awesome.
posted by tracicle at 8:00 PM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Alan? No, that's Michael.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:04 PM on January 14, 2011

The Lost Boys is a terrifying movie. Not the vampires, but goddamn, people really did used to dress like that.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:05 PM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Strangely, I found the "Laser Dogs Eat Ice" video from the same guy much more entertaining.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:06 PM on January 14, 2011

OH hell. This film was popular because a whole world of girls, myself included, was 14 and in ninth grade when it came out and we were a mess of burgeoning pituitary soup. We were normal for wanting to do it with the cuter Corey and brazen if we wanted to do it with Jason Patrick and totally depraved if we had a thing for Keifer Sutherland. It had a rockin INXS tune at the end and it was just a perfect film for the time. Was it a good film? Not really. But it had the right effect on the right age group. Do I still own this film on VHS? You bet your ass! Death by stereo!
posted by PuppyCat at 8:07 PM on January 14, 2011 [6 favorites]

Interesting thread. Back in the day, when I was in elementary school, The Lost Boys (along with Dirty Dancing) was one of the coolest films EVAR. But now both movies make me cringe.

I hardly remember Jason Patric's character. I always thought Sam, his brother, was the hero of the film. He was the most appealing to me, I guess because he was the most active. Michael, for all his hunkiness, was pretty passive, and even when I was in grade school that wasn't terribly attractive.

I do remember the hilariously snarky grandpa. And I love quoting Corey Haim's Sam to describe the smell of the ocean: "It smells like somebody died."
posted by suburbanbeatnik at 8:10 PM on January 14, 2011

And I love quoting Corey Haim's Sam to describe the smell of the ocean: "It smells like somebody died."

I got a small Yankee Candle "Sun and Sand" candle for Christmas and I think of that line every time.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:32 PM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love this movie, and have been laughing at the Michael compilation all week.

I saw The Lost Boys first time it when I was only 10 years old. My parents were actually in the process of divorcing. They were in court all day, and the lady who was watching me allowed me to view Lost Boys on cable (possibly pay-per-view). I was wrapped up in a blanket on her 1980's country blue wrap-around sofa with a can of soda and all of the junk food I wanted. I knew what my parents were doing. I knew I would not see my dad for a long time, but the gravity of the situation was made a little easier when the opening music started.

For months before it came out, I had followed the making of the film in Fangoria. Unfortunately, I hadn't been to the theater to see it. It was the best thing I had ever seen. The coolest thing I had ever seen. It was the first time in my life I had ever watched vampires who did more than brood around and say, "BLEAH!" They were funny. They were attractive. They had long hair and earrings! It made my 10 year old self want to be a vampire, my 12 year old self want to read more books about vampires, my 16 year old self want to dress like a vampire, and my 19 year old self want to write about vampires. Who knows how I would have turned out had I watched something else.

My 32 year old self will never be embarrassed by this movie. Hell, my friend just gave me the Alamo's poster of it for Christmas!
posted by haplesschild at 9:13 PM on January 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

So is every line of dialogue of this film really "Michael" or is this just a compilation of only when "Michael" is spoken?

I'm not sure if the video title is hyperbole or truth.
posted by mulligan at 9:48 PM on January 14, 2011

> So is every line of dialogue of this film really "Michael" or is this just a compilation of only when "Michael" is spoken?

The former. It was the 80s, so cut us some slack.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:53 PM on January 14, 2011

I certainly liked this movie a lot in 1988 (when I first saw it on Beta!), but by as early as 1992 -- when I introduced it to someone who was sixteen and a huge Anne Rice fan and therefore basically its ideal viewer, and loathed it -- I realized it was mostly pretty bad. It's one of those rare films that was so much of its moment that it began to yellow and crumble into dust seemingly as it was being shot.

Other than just being dated, I think now that what was probably a marketing virtue, by which I mean to say the essential lack of sex and scares that got it a PG-13, really hurts it as a movie; the vampires are pretty much just a pack of immortal stoners who seem as likely to spend eternity perming each other's hair, watching TV, eating corn chips and listening to the Doors as anything else. They're like a suburban thirteen-year-old's idea of what someone "cool" might be. For the movie to work, I think you have to have the sense that Michael is entering into a world as appealing as it is frightening, but actually, the world isn't appealing or frightening. Neither boring Jami Gertz nor, if one is so inclined, Kiefer Sutherland with his ridiculous and now legendary mullet is really bringing the sex, I'm sorry to report. It's a remarkably safe movie posing as something unsafe. It's Justin Bieber in a biker leather.

All that aside, though, I do think it creates an atmosphere that does entice. Like, I want to go to there -- the carousel at night, the helicopter shots across the black water, the spooky midway, just the incredible sense of life. It's a vampire-infested town where the least interesting thing happening is the fuckin' vampires! I'd be happy to live there, and if it meant having to exterminate the hair metal-y undead to do it, so be it.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 10:36 PM on January 14, 2011 [8 favorites]

The Lost Boys is one of a long example of films that wasted the talents of Jason Patrick, and extremely interesting and entertainingly eccentric character actor who was cursed with a leading man's good looks.

Amen. I'm a big Jason Patric fan based on the underrated Rush. He gives a great performance, along with the always great Jennifer Jason Lee.

Anyway, Tim Campello is the real star of Lost Boys.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:37 PM on January 14, 2011

It's a vampire-infested town where the least interesting thing happening is the fuckin' vampires! I'd be happy to live there, and if it meant having to exterminate the hair metal-y undead to do it, so be it.

You could move to Santa Cruz anytime you feel you can afford it, no extermination necessary.
posted by hippybear at 11:17 PM on January 14, 2011

I thought the mum was absolutely gorgeous for a... erm... mum.

I just saw her in The 10th Kingdom last Saturday, and even plumper, older, and more wicked, there's something really hot about her.

There's something awful and wrong about the movie, some basic flaw. I can't quite describe it

For me, it's the holes where the better dialogue and chemistry between Michael and David and Star should be. At heart I don't see a lot of credibility into why Michael is so interested in Star or willing to put up with any association with the biker gang at all. What's *really* so tempting about these people as a peer group? That they hang out at the boardwalk and cause trouble? They ride bikes? Is it really that Star kowtows to David -- that one girl does what he asks? Sure, she's good looking, but not that good looking, and for all their whooping and smiling I just don't believe the vampires are really having all that much of a great time.

When I think about what that piece of the movie should have been, I think about Point Break. David should have been more like Bodhi, the guy on the fringes you know has come unmoored from important values but you still are easily fascinated and even awed by, and the way the vampires lived should have been more like Bodhi's surfer crew in that it offered something substantially seductive, and so you end up with this fascinating personal chemistry between him and Utah. But in Lost Boys, I sometimes end up wondering what's wrong with Michael that he didn't just decide "these people aren't worth all this weird stuff that's going on" and shrug 'em all off.

Every other character -- mom, Sam, Frog brothers, and especially grandpa and Max -- is interesting. There's funny stuff. The music is great, so is the milieu and the basic story idea. It adds up to a decent and fun movie, one that I have a soft spot for, but I think if they'd managed to fix the problems I'm talking about, it could have been a really great film.

On preview, I see kittens for breakfast is getting at some of the same things. The vampires really just aren't sexy enough. They would have indeed been a banal if bloodsucking brady bunch if Max's plan had worked.
posted by weston at 12:01 AM on January 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

I dropped a Lost Boys reference in a thread just a few days ago.

That movie is weird.
posted by loquacious at 12:20 AM on January 15, 2011

Holy shit the 80s.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:23 AM on January 15, 2011

He doesn't seem to make a lot of choices or develop much. He chases a girl down, succumbs to peer pressure, gets tricked into becoming a vampire, and acts brooding and sullen until he finally gets the fight with David he and everybody else has been waiting for the whole film, which ends predictably.

I swear, watching the Michael video, I kept saying "this guy looks familiar." Then it came to me.

Anakin Skywalker.
posted by zippy at 12:45 AM on January 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I wouldn't mind it if this current obsession with vampires blew over soon. We've been a little too obsessed with them, and I'd like the science fiction section of the bookstore back soon, please.
posted by crunchland at 2:55 AM on January 15, 2011

I was 11 when this came out. A year later, when it came out on video, it was quite the hit at the slumber parties in my neighborhood.
posted by pxe2000 at 5:45 AM on January 15, 2011

TETSUO!!!
posted by empath at 5:53 AM on January 15, 2011

KANEEEEEEEDAAAAA
posted by Greg Nog at 5:58 AM on January 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

How can you not love a movie with lines like this: You're a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You're a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'till mom finds out!
posted by Ber at 6:13 AM on January 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Someone should do this with Arrested Development. I always thought the repetition of "Michael" in that show was a parody of Lost Boys.
posted by ekroh at 7:13 AM on January 15, 2011

I thought the mum was absolutely gorgeous for a... erm... mum.

I just saw her in The 10th Kingdom last Saturday, and even plumper, older, and more wicked, there's something really hot about her.

The mom is played by the ever-wonder Diane Wiest, whom you've seen in a zillion things. She was in Footloose (as the mom). She was in Edward Scissorhands (as the mom). She was in The Birdcage (as the mom).

I'm sensing a pattern here.
posted by hippybear at 7:34 AM on January 15, 2011

Come on, everyone, don't be so hard on The Lost Boys; it was in the top three vampire movies of 1987.

But yeah, there is no more eighties image than the oiled musclebound sax player (I think I am not alone in this: a Google search for "sax player" "lost boys" gives us 5000 hits). 'Cuz, y'know, he still believes.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:03 AM on January 15, 2011

I Still Believe was actually a song by The Call, a Christian Rock band who actually released a couple of great albums during their run. (Reconciled, on which "I Still Believe" appears, is still in my music collection, having survived The Great Purge some years ago.)

The Tim Capello version has that sax solo, though...
posted by hippybear at 8:28 AM on January 15, 2011

Oh, goodness. And the comments on that YouTube page reminded me of my favorite version of this song -- by Russ Taff. Another album which survived The Great Purge.
posted by hippybear at 8:31 AM on January 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

My favorite thing about The Lost Boys is that the Frog Brothers are Edgar and Alan Frog.

Edgar Frog: We trashed the one that looks like Twisted Sister.
Alan Frog: Totally annihilated his night-stalking ass!

Trailers for Lost Boys 2: The Tribe (2008; featuring Coreys Haim and Feldman) and Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010). "Your sister's a suck monkey."
posted by kirkaracha at 8:37 AM on January 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sadly, this thread also reminds me of this sad news from just under a year ago.
posted by hippybear at 8:55 AM on January 15, 2011

I love the Lost Boys sax guy almost as much as Eurovision sax guy, and not just because his wikipedia entry features this fun fact:
Cappello's other pastimes include body building, songwriting and scoring chicks.
posted by cowboy_sally at 9:46 AM on January 15, 2011

Lost Boys is one of the great, forgotten films.

Worth showing to kids today who think Joss Whedon invented vampires. "Hey, look, it's the Mayor!"
posted by rodgerd at 9:49 AM on January 15, 2011

Diane Wiest --- You can catch her as the District Attorney in reruns of Law & Order, as well as several Woody Allen movies, though my favorite I think is Radio Days.
posted by crunchland at 10:20 AM on January 15, 2011

Here's a video of the sax bit from Lost Boys.

Rumor has it that this is what drove Colonel Kurtz upriver.
posted by zippy at 12:03 PM on January 15, 2011

Did someone mention cursed?
posted by and for no one at 12:20 PM on January 15, 2011

Michael Harry is somewhat interesting as a magnified vampiric wizard version of teenage moodiness/crisis, but pretty much a crap protagonist. He doesn't seem to make a lot of choices or develop much. He chases a girl down, succumbs to peer pressure, gets tricked into becomingis told he is a vampire wizard, and acts brooding and sullen until he finally gets the fight with David Voldemort he and everybody else has been waiting for the whole film, which ends predictably.

This is my problem with the Harry Potter novels/movies: Harry is too damn passive most of the time.
posted by zardoz at 3:19 PM on January 15, 2011

I wonder if that's because Harry is pretty much a stand-in for the reader? And as such, things happen to Harry, instead of Harry making things happen?
posted by crunchland at 3:36 PM on January 15, 2011

This is my problem with the Harry Potter novels/movies: Harry is too damn passive most of the time.

I find it a general problem with a lot of sci fi & fantasy with a broad cast. The central character is usually tedious as fuck and the supporting cast are the interesting bit. Buffy? Annoying ditz. Sheridan, Delenn and Sinclair? Yawn. And so on and so forth.
posted by rodgerd at 4:18 PM on January 15, 2011

> I find it a general problem with a lot of sci fi & fantasy with a broad cast.

I think this says something about the nature of a lot of escapist entertainment. The protagonist is kind of static and complete, and doesn't really undergo any major breakdown/reaffirmation that you see in more challenging works. The audience just wants to plug into the lead, and let the rest of the cast bear the brunt of the abuse or misery.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:20 PM on January 15, 2011

Buffy? Annoying ditz.

Much more so in the movie, which is why it's nothing next to the series.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:23 PM on January 15, 2011

The audience just wants to plug into the lead, and let the rest of the cast bear the brunt of the abuse or misery.

Or development; consider G'Kar in Bab 5. Actually, Delenn did a bunch of development, she was just bloody boring with it. When your narrative hangs on a critical character making it through years of story arcs, it's going to be hard to convince the audience that there's much danger or what-have-you.
posted by rodgerd at 4:48 PM on January 15, 2011

Can we all agree that the original Lost Boys is a parable about a young man (Corey Haim) becoming aware that he is, in fact, a homosexual?

Also, my favorite movie ever. I have seen it literally hundreds of times.
posted by runcibleshaw at 9:48 PM on January 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Can we all agree that the original Lost Boys is a parable about a young man (Corey Haim) becoming aware that he is, in fact, a homosexual?

I would say it's a rich gay subtext, but it's about as subtextual as a Mapplethorpe.
posted by rodgerd at 11:06 PM on January 16, 2011