These jeans aren't going to double-cuff themselves.
January 18, 2011 12:21 PM Subscribe
"The Baby-Sitters Club: Where are they now?" by The Hairpin. Bonus materials: "Incredulous Kristy" internet meme, "What Claudia Wore" fashion blog.
I don't know, I don't think that was very good, and I've read every single BSC book.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:33 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:33 PM on January 18, 2011
Claudia has been working on a mixed media piece called Almond-Shaped Eyes, a tribute to her late grandmother, Mimi, since the mid-nineties.
Heh.
I've never heard of this book series.
posted by phrontist at 12:34 PM on January 18, 2011
Heh.
I've never heard of this book series.
posted by phrontist at 12:34 PM on January 18, 2011
Inspired. This bit about Logan makes it art:
Following his arrest for stealing car radios, Logan's dad made good on his promise and sent him to military school. In a pretty typical series of events, he was first reluctant, then rebellious, then he befriended a wise black guy, then he realized his life was worth more than what he was doing with it, then the wise black guy died, and then Logan tried really hard in physical training and became a pilot.
posted by aclevername at 12:34 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Following his arrest for stealing car radios, Logan's dad made good on his promise and sent him to military school. In a pretty typical series of events, he was first reluctant, then rebellious, then he befriended a wise black guy, then he realized his life was worth more than what he was doing with it, then the wise black guy died, and then Logan tried really hard in physical training and became a pilot.
posted by aclevername at 12:34 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Baby-Sitters Club books were always a sort of vague mystery with undercurrents of promise of some forbidden knowledge to me. Were girls allowed to read Encyclopedia Brown? Is it even the same thing?
Either way, these links all mean nothing to me and carry that same air of belonging to a world of which I know nothing. It's like a preadolescent Shoggoth.
posted by cmoj at 12:38 PM on January 18, 2011 [3 favorites]
Either way, these links all mean nothing to me and carry that same air of belonging to a world of which I know nothing. It's like a preadolescent Shoggoth.
posted by cmoj at 12:38 PM on January 18, 2011 [3 favorites]
"I got to see them play live. It was in the Eighties, when Dawn was drumming."
posted by Iridic at 12:38 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by Iridic at 12:38 PM on January 18, 2011
Thank you for this herm, I am now going to inform people of their duty to provide me with snickers.
Commence pizza toast.
posted by The Whelk at 12:40 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Commence pizza toast.
posted by The Whelk at 12:40 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Either way, these links all mean nothing to me and carry that same air of belonging to a world of which I know nothing. It's like a preadolescent Shoggoth.
I read that as preadolescence Snooki. And weirdly, the sentence had the same meaning for me.
Having both a younger sister and having done both non-court-mandated and court-mandated community service as a young adult librarian, I am vaguely familiar with the BSC enough to find this hilarious and pretty smart. But maybe if I'd read every one of the books (or any of them), I wouldn't think so.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:42 PM on January 18, 2011
I read that as preadolescence Snooki. And weirdly, the sentence had the same meaning for me.
Having both a younger sister and having done both non-court-mandated and court-mandated community service as a young adult librarian, I am vaguely familiar with the BSC enough to find this hilarious and pretty smart. But maybe if I'd read every one of the books (or any of them), I wouldn't think so.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:42 PM on January 18, 2011
Fantastic, though I don't accept a word of it. As far as I'm concerned, the babysitters never grew up and they're still out there in Stoneybrook sitting babies and having those meetings where each girl in turn makes her characteristic remark, just in time for the ghostwriter of Ann M. Martin to finish rewording another description of her personality, wardrobe and life story, complete with a scrupulously detailed list of all her pets and siblings.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 12:44 PM on January 18, 2011 [11 favorites]
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 12:44 PM on January 18, 2011 [11 favorites]
I spent summers with my American cousins devouring these books, along with Sweet Valley High.
I think Kristy goes to business school at UConn and also gets an MBA. She can't seem to get the jobs she wants because her aggressive personality is not appreciated. She's annoyed with her job and wants to do something she can really sink her teeth into.
Claudia goes to FIT, overcomes her learning disability, quits processed foods, and is a stylist to the stars. She moves to LA.
Stacey is encouraged to major in math, but wants to act and is a waitress/actress in LA. She dates the Old Spice guy.
Mary Anne stays in Connecticut and becomes a teacher for special needs students.
Jessi becomes a doctor, specializing in sports medicine. She lives in Massachusetts.
Mallory "wants to write" so she goes to Oberlin College, takes out tons of loans, and gets a job as a paralegal in New York City. She decides to do Teaching Fellows in New York City and becomes an English teacher.
Dawn goes to law school because everyone said she should and also because she wanted to become an environmental lawyer. However, her job at the EPA is boring and frustrating, so she convinces Kristy to move to California to start an environmental nonprofit.
There.
Also, Elizabeth Wakefield got pregnant and gave the baby up while teaching English in Bulgaria. Both twins have gonorrhea.
posted by anniecat at 12:48 PM on January 18, 2011 [29 favorites]
I think Kristy goes to business school at UConn and also gets an MBA. She can't seem to get the jobs she wants because her aggressive personality is not appreciated. She's annoyed with her job and wants to do something she can really sink her teeth into.
Claudia goes to FIT, overcomes her learning disability, quits processed foods, and is a stylist to the stars. She moves to LA.
Stacey is encouraged to major in math, but wants to act and is a waitress/actress in LA. She dates the Old Spice guy.
Mary Anne stays in Connecticut and becomes a teacher for special needs students.
Jessi becomes a doctor, specializing in sports medicine. She lives in Massachusetts.
Mallory "wants to write" so she goes to Oberlin College, takes out tons of loans, and gets a job as a paralegal in New York City. She decides to do Teaching Fellows in New York City and becomes an English teacher.
Dawn goes to law school because everyone said she should and also because she wanted to become an environmental lawyer. However, her job at the EPA is boring and frustrating, so she convinces Kristy to move to California to start an environmental nonprofit.
There.
Also, Elizabeth Wakefield got pregnant and gave the baby up while teaching English in Bulgaria. Both twins have gonorrhea.
posted by anniecat at 12:48 PM on January 18, 2011 [29 favorites]
Logan and Mary Anne were probably secret members of the Stoneybrook KKK.
posted by anniecat at 12:49 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by anniecat at 12:49 PM on January 18, 2011
anniecat's version is much, much better.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:49 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:49 PM on January 18, 2011
Raise your hand if you'll be buying Sweet Valley: Ten Years Later the first day it comes out. ::raises hand::
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:50 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:50 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]
Raise your hand if you'll be buying Sweet Valley: Ten Years Later the first day it comes out. ::raises hand::
No way. I'm not lining her pockets. I read a review someone who got an advanced copy wrote.
posted by anniecat at 12:56 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
No way. I'm not lining her pockets. I read a review someone who got an advanced copy wrote.
posted by anniecat at 12:56 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
I used to love the BSC as a kid mostly because I liked making money and was really fascinated by the more business-y parts of the books. I mean, these girls had basically created a privately held company that could create a monopoly in Stonybrook on babysitting. I kind of wished babysitting was a thing where I grew up, because I daydreamed of creating my own franchise of the Babysitters Club, and I was always the treasurer.
Instead I had to settle for following in my mom's example and fencing blackmarket goods from the military base (a.k.a. Setting up shop on a rickety particle-board dresser somebody threw away in front of our apartment complex to sell the American candies and chocolates I got for Easter to the neighborhood kids.)
posted by kkokkodalk at 12:58 PM on January 18, 2011 [7 favorites]
Instead I had to settle for following in my mom's example and fencing blackmarket goods from the military base (a.k.a. Setting up shop on a rickety particle-board dresser somebody threw away in front of our apartment complex to sell the American candies and chocolates I got for Easter to the neighborhood kids.)
posted by kkokkodalk at 12:58 PM on January 18, 2011 [7 favorites]
Uh, not that the CID could prove anything on my moms...and I meant "hypothetically."
posted by kkokkodalk at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by kkokkodalk at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
I kind of wished babysitting was a thing where I grew up, because I daydreamed of creating my own franchise of the Babysitters Club, and I was always the treasurer.
I didn't read the whole series, but it would have been pretty awesome if one of them had gotten sued for something or if they'd had to draw up actual contracts.
Did anybody ever notice how in later volumes they started mentioning that Mr. Kishi was an investment banker? I picked one book up a couple of years ago and was surprised by the inclusion of that detail. Or they mentioned the parents' professions more? They really made Stoneybrook up into an upper middle class/rich CT town. My impression when I was younger was that it was a small town.
posted by anniecat at 1:03 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
I didn't read the whole series, but it would have been pretty awesome if one of them had gotten sued for something or if they'd had to draw up actual contracts.
Did anybody ever notice how in later volumes they started mentioning that Mr. Kishi was an investment banker? I picked one book up a couple of years ago and was surprised by the inclusion of that detail. Or they mentioned the parents' professions more? They really made Stoneybrook up into an upper middle class/rich CT town. My impression when I was younger was that it was a small town.
posted by anniecat at 1:03 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
hermitosis, I fully support man-blog marriage rights for you and the hairpin. I wish you both the best.
posted by Eideteker at 1:04 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Eideteker at 1:04 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
No way. I'm not lining her pockets.
In all honesty, I probably won't, either- what am I going to do with a hardback copy of that book? I want a cheapo paperback that I won't feel bad throwing out. So, I'll probably NYPL it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:06 PM on January 18, 2011
In all honesty, I probably won't, either- what am I going to do with a hardback copy of that book? I want a cheapo paperback that I won't feel bad throwing out. So, I'll probably NYPL it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:06 PM on January 18, 2011
So, I'll probably NYPL it.
Right on, sister! Unless you can designate an afternoon at Border's to read through it quickly.
posted by anniecat at 1:10 PM on January 18, 2011
Right on, sister! Unless you can designate an afternoon at Border's to read through it quickly.
posted by anniecat at 1:10 PM on January 18, 2011
I also read all of the Baby-Sitters Club and Sweet Valley High. I feel like I need to read them all again.
posted by hazyspring at 1:11 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by hazyspring at 1:11 PM on January 18, 2011
I also read all of the Baby-Sitters Club and Sweet Valley High. I feel like I need to read them all again.
Summer of 2009, I did this- went on eBay, bought myself a few cheap lots. Terrible, terrible books- ridiculous models of how to deal with conflict (particularly psychopath Jessica Wakefield). And I loved every minute of it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:15 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Summer of 2009, I did this- went on eBay, bought myself a few cheap lots. Terrible, terrible books- ridiculous models of how to deal with conflict (particularly psychopath Jessica Wakefield). And I loved every minute of it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:15 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
They see me double-cuffin'. They hatin'.
MARRY ME INCREDULOUS KRISTY
posted by mintcake! at 1:15 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
MARRY ME INCREDULOUS KRISTY
posted by mintcake! at 1:15 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
This person is actually sketching and drawing Claudia wearing her crazy outfits, and making them look cool. I have to say, pretty neat.
posted by anniecat at 1:18 PM on January 18, 2011 [10 favorites]
posted by anniecat at 1:18 PM on January 18, 2011 [10 favorites]
Gorgeous!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:25 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:25 PM on January 18, 2011
Kristy (or at least the girl who played Kristy on the BSC TV show) was my first girlfriend. I never actually saw the show, but this makes me want to Netflix it--love the Kristy meme.
posted by dam1975 at 1:45 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by dam1975 at 1:45 PM on January 18, 2011
They really made Stoneybrook up into an upper middle class/rich CT town. My impression when I was younger was that it was a small town.
Depending on the part of Connecticut you set your fictitious town in, these are not mutually exclusive.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:46 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Depending on the part of Connecticut you set your fictitious town in, these are not mutually exclusive.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:46 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
babysitter club books made me a better babysitter, fact!
posted by nadawi at 1:57 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by nadawi at 1:57 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
anniecat - WTF? Gonorrhea, Bulgaria, and the KKK. Best ever.
posted by mokeydraws at 1:57 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by mokeydraws at 1:57 PM on January 18, 2011
In 20 years someone is going to be doing this sort of thing about Twilight.
posted by NoraReed at 2:00 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by NoraReed at 2:00 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
You don't have, too, duh; vampires never age!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:01 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:01 PM on January 18, 2011
Make that "You don't have to, duh; vampires never age!"
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:01 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:01 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
I like Incredulous Kristy a lot more than the canon version. All the members of the BSC need their own memes.
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:04 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:04 PM on January 18, 2011
The Nostalgia Chick reviews the BSC movie.
posted by WhackyparseThis at 2:06 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by WhackyparseThis at 2:06 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
hermitosis, I fully support man-blog marriage rights for you and the hairpin. I wish you both the best.
It's just your classic boyzone meets girlzone story.
posted by hermitosis at 2:09 PM on January 18, 2011
It's just your classic boyzone meets girlzone story.
posted by hermitosis at 2:09 PM on January 18, 2011
The only thing that really made BSC books compelling was the business flavored parts. That was so alluring. The allure did not stop us from scorning and condescending to our overly earnest friend who for about five minutes really, really wanted to start a babysitters' club, but it did set the BSC books apart from other, similarly not-very-well-written girl-oriented books.
posted by Neofelis at 2:28 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Neofelis at 2:28 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
I mean, these girls had basically created a privately held company that could create a monopoly in Stonybrook on babysittingOh, that sounds like the series of books that I used to read when I was 12.
Does the babysitting monopoly get overthrown by a band of nomadic desert guerrillas led by a prescient upstart Duke, riding sandworms?
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:43 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]
I was enjoying this, until I got to this: "Dawn's apparent misanthropy can mostly be traced back to the winter of 1999, when her brother Jeff was killed in a mysterious accident."
NOOOOOOO!
Everyone knows Jeff Schaefer grew up to be boyfriend to Byron Pike.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 3:56 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]
NOOOOOOO!
Everyone knows Jeff Schaefer grew up to be boyfriend to Byron Pike.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 3:56 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]
This story made me cry with laughter. It's a full-length Super Special featuring Slutty Stacey, Shannon Whose Parents Fight Too Much, Jessi (She's Black), Mallory Who Nobody Likes, and Claudia Wearing A Swiss Milkmaid Outfit. And it's set in Amsterdam.
posted by jaynewould at 4:08 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by jaynewould at 4:08 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Summer of 2009, I did this- went on eBay, bought myself a few cheap lots. Terrible, terrible books- ridiculous models of how to deal with conflict (particularly psychopath Jessica Wakefield). And I loved every minute of it.
Yeah, I did the same a few years ago. What struck me about the BSC was, beyond the first ten books (which were actually fairly sane), the ghostwriters' attempts to maintain the status quo turned Kristy into little more than a cult leader. In the first books, we learn, for example, that Claudia has another clique of friends. But later, any outside interests are treated as grave threats to THE CLUB and the girls are lectured and ridiculed and guilt tripped for so much as hanging out with outside friends. This is part of what makes Mallory's ultimate fate (written out at the end of the series by getting shipped off to a boarding school) so sad. It's like the ultimate punishment for a member of the BSC.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:08 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yeah, I did the same a few years ago. What struck me about the BSC was, beyond the first ten books (which were actually fairly sane), the ghostwriters' attempts to maintain the status quo turned Kristy into little more than a cult leader. In the first books, we learn, for example, that Claudia has another clique of friends. But later, any outside interests are treated as grave threats to THE CLUB and the girls are lectured and ridiculed and guilt tripped for so much as hanging out with outside friends. This is part of what makes Mallory's ultimate fate (written out at the end of the series by getting shipped off to a boarding school) so sad. It's like the ultimate punishment for a member of the BSC.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:08 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
I liked the first five BSC club books-- they seemed really charming at first, and I liked the business angle-- but after a while they lost me. It just seemed to get old fast. I read the books before Mallory was introduced (which the BSC wiki tells me was book #14, apparently).
I was a bigger fan of Sweet Valley High though. Can you believe the series debuted in 1983? That's why the "10 Year Reunion" makes me laugh. If the BSC girls are 37 now, then Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield should be 44. I am amused imagining the mid-life crises the Wakefield twins would have. Jessica would already be using botox, I bet. Elizabeth would probably be a super-repressed soccer mom who drives a gas-guzzling SUV while shopping at Whole Foods and hypocritically pretending to be really into saving the rainforest.
Speaking of which, I can't wait until Diablo Cody's Sweet Valley High movie gets made. She actually is going to set it in the early 1980s, which is a relief.
posted by suburbanbeatnik at 4:34 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]
I was a bigger fan of Sweet Valley High though. Can you believe the series debuted in 1983? That's why the "10 Year Reunion" makes me laugh. If the BSC girls are 37 now, then Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield should be 44. I am amused imagining the mid-life crises the Wakefield twins would have. Jessica would already be using botox, I bet. Elizabeth would probably be a super-repressed soccer mom who drives a gas-guzzling SUV while shopping at Whole Foods and hypocritically pretending to be really into saving the rainforest.
Speaking of which, I can't wait until Diablo Cody's Sweet Valley High movie gets made. She actually is going to set it in the early 1980s, which is a relief.
posted by suburbanbeatnik at 4:34 PM on January 18, 2011 [4 favorites]
The Boxcar Children.
I had the later run of the series, which had all these WACKY ADVENTURES with random "but wait we have no money and the police could find us at any time" interludes which were so confusing and upsetting to me.
posted by The Whelk at 4:43 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
I had the later run of the series, which had all these WACKY ADVENTURES with random "but wait we have no money and the police could find us at any time" interludes which were so confusing and upsetting to me.
posted by The Whelk at 4:43 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
My mom was a librarian, and anything she would bring home I would read: Animorphs, the Moomins, Tintin and Asterix, and memorably the Babysitter's Club and the Babysitter's Club Junior books. My elder brother refused to read anything that was not an Images of War magzine, so she was just thrilled she had a reader in her midst. Often she wouldn't even bother looking at the covers, just bring home a box, which lead to me getting Flowers In The Attic at the tender age of eight (afterwards going "what the fuck was that?").
But she gave me the Karen Brewer series, Kristy's little stepsister with the massive glasses. I had strong feelings regarding her. It is dissatisfying that neither the Hairpin nor anniecat have provided me with what I would regard as a satisfying ending for Karen Brewer, so I'll do one:
Karen died on the way back to her home planet.
posted by monster truck weekend at 4:58 PM on January 18, 2011 [7 favorites]
But she gave me the Karen Brewer series, Kristy's little stepsister with the massive glasses. I had strong feelings regarding her. It is dissatisfying that neither the Hairpin nor anniecat have provided me with what I would regard as a satisfying ending for Karen Brewer, so I'll do one:
Karen died on the way back to her home planet.
posted by monster truck weekend at 4:58 PM on January 18, 2011 [7 favorites]
The Boxcar Children: Where are they now?
Henry: Still "at college," now as an assistant professor of sociology. He's desperate to land tenure somewhere before the bottom drops out of higher education, though he's afraid he'll have to move to small-town Idaho to get it.
Jessie: Married her high school sweetheart and gave birth to two girls and a boy. They made for angelic babies but have become, to Jessie's unspeakable dismay, spiteful, apathetic teenagers, indifferent to everything but cliques and texting. Her husband, siblings and friends assure her that the kids are simply going through the normal phases, that she's a wonderful mother, but she's lost almost all faith in herself.
This morning her son idly expressed a wish to see the boxcar where she sheltered as a child. She burst into tears, kissed him fervently on the forehead, then set to making plans for a three-week family road trip to her grandfather's estate, where she hopes the boxcar still stands.
Violet: Tried to make a go of it as a painter, but found no market for her unchallenging, representational watercolors. After eight agonizing years as a freelance graphic designer, she found contentment, if not absolute happiness, in nonprofit development. She teaches art to severely disabled adults every other weekend.
Benny: A late diagnosis of brittle bone syndrome influenced his decision to become a doctor. He loved his first few years in family practice, but recent conflicts with a local contingent of anti-vaccination parents has made him dread going to work in the morning. The bright spot in his life has been his romance with a twice-divorced woman fifteen years his senior. Last week he realized he wants to marry her.
Watch (the terrier): I have some bad news.
posted by Iridic at 6:29 PM on January 18, 2011 [5 favorites]
Henry: Still "at college," now as an assistant professor of sociology. He's desperate to land tenure somewhere before the bottom drops out of higher education, though he's afraid he'll have to move to small-town Idaho to get it.
Jessie: Married her high school sweetheart and gave birth to two girls and a boy. They made for angelic babies but have become, to Jessie's unspeakable dismay, spiteful, apathetic teenagers, indifferent to everything but cliques and texting. Her husband, siblings and friends assure her that the kids are simply going through the normal phases, that she's a wonderful mother, but she's lost almost all faith in herself.
This morning her son idly expressed a wish to see the boxcar where she sheltered as a child. She burst into tears, kissed him fervently on the forehead, then set to making plans for a three-week family road trip to her grandfather's estate, where she hopes the boxcar still stands.
Violet: Tried to make a go of it as a painter, but found no market for her unchallenging, representational watercolors. After eight agonizing years as a freelance graphic designer, she found contentment, if not absolute happiness, in nonprofit development. She teaches art to severely disabled adults every other weekend.
Benny: A late diagnosis of brittle bone syndrome influenced his decision to become a doctor. He loved his first few years in family practice, but recent conflicts with a local contingent of anti-vaccination parents has made him dread going to work in the morning. The bright spot in his life has been his romance with a twice-divorced woman fifteen years his senior. Last week he realized he wants to marry her.
Watch (the terrier): I have some bad news.
posted by Iridic at 6:29 PM on January 18, 2011 [5 favorites]
Anne of Green Gables today = a crazy baker and political lesbian.
posted by prefpara at 6:54 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by prefpara at 6:54 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Incredulous Kristy is like the project manager who glares condescendingly from her perch, the lone director's chair. Who does she think she is, coach of the softball team or something??
Also, previously (with pics!).
posted by therewolf at 6:55 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also, previously (with pics!).
posted by therewolf at 6:55 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Iridic, that reminds me that both Tree House Mystery and Snowbound Mystery are on the docket and waiting for my tender treatment. The illustrations in the 70s editions aren't as hilarious as the ones in the 90s editions, though, so I have to get my hands on those. MAY THEY NEVER BE REPRINTED
Question is, why were YA illustrations in the 90s so awful? They seemed to place a lot of importance on "photographic" "realism" at that point in time, as opposed to the less representational illustration of the previous few decades. My favorite thing about YA bookcovers from the 90s is the Jean Painting. Fact: no one can paint a jean. A bad artist especially cannot paint a jean. A bad artist especially cannot paint jeans from the 90s, which were so avant-garde as to approach unreality. Actually I've been collecting editions of YA books with terribly painted jeans on them for a while now, just waiting for the time to do a monster blogpost about my obsession with them. They look like...like the acid-washed ocean, those jeans.
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 7:27 PM on January 18, 2011 [8 favorites]
Question is, why were YA illustrations in the 90s so awful? They seemed to place a lot of importance on "photographic" "realism" at that point in time, as opposed to the less representational illustration of the previous few decades. My favorite thing about YA bookcovers from the 90s is the Jean Painting. Fact: no one can paint a jean. A bad artist especially cannot paint a jean. A bad artist especially cannot paint jeans from the 90s, which were so avant-garde as to approach unreality. Actually I've been collecting editions of YA books with terribly painted jeans on them for a while now, just waiting for the time to do a monster blogpost about my obsession with them. They look like...like the acid-washed ocean, those jeans.
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 7:27 PM on January 18, 2011 [8 favorites]
Show of hands--how many other people tried to make "dibble" happen among their friends?
Nobody?
Oh hell.
posted by Fuego at 7:42 PM on January 18, 2011
Nobody?
Oh hell.
posted by Fuego at 7:42 PM on January 18, 2011
Does the babysitting monopoly get overthrown by a band of nomadic desert guerrillas led by a prescient upstart Duke, riding sandworms?
The talc must flow!
posted by scalefree at 7:50 PM on January 18, 2011
The talc must flow!
posted by scalefree at 7:50 PM on January 18, 2011
I love how Adult Claudia's life is relatively resembling mine.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:27 PM on January 18, 2011
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:27 PM on January 18, 2011
I had forgotten how much I thought "Logan Bruno" was the MOST. AMAZING. NAME. EVER.
posted by buzzkillington at 9:09 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by buzzkillington at 9:09 PM on January 18, 2011 [2 favorites]
Question is, why were YA illustrations in the 90s so awful?
I almost think that a single schmuck at Bantam and/or Scholastic churned out all the covers themselves, or that at least it was down to an incestuous few who shared compositions and models and reference photographs and could work much faster than any rival cabals. (Doesn't the lad facing down the Space Vampire on this cover look he just came back from Getting Invisible? Same ox-like surprise, same proto-Bieber 'do?)
But as bad as those covers were, they have their fascinations. When a YA cover fails nowadays, it fails without style or expression: blandly attractive models, boringly perfect closeups of eyes and airbrushed lips. Photoshop is the worst thing that ever happened to young adult literature.
posted by Iridic at 9:12 PM on January 18, 2011
I almost think that a single schmuck at Bantam and/or Scholastic churned out all the covers themselves, or that at least it was down to an incestuous few who shared compositions and models and reference photographs and could work much faster than any rival cabals. (Doesn't the lad facing down the Space Vampire on this cover look he just came back from Getting Invisible? Same ox-like surprise, same proto-Bieber 'do?)
But as bad as those covers were, they have their fascinations. When a YA cover fails nowadays, it fails without style or expression: blandly attractive models, boringly perfect closeups of eyes and airbrushed lips. Photoshop is the worst thing that ever happened to young adult literature.
posted by Iridic at 9:12 PM on January 18, 2011
Anne of Green Gables today = a crazy baker and political lesbian.
Nope, that was, and always will be, Marilla Cuthbert.
Anne + Gilbert Blythe = TRUE LOVE FOREVER OKAY.
posted by elsietheeel at 9:17 PM on January 18, 2011 [6 favorites]
Nope, that was, and always will be, Marilla Cuthbert.
Anne + Gilbert Blythe = TRUE LOVE FOREVER OKAY.
posted by elsietheeel at 9:17 PM on January 18, 2011 [6 favorites]
BSC! Wow, that takes me back. I was more obsessed with the series that spun off from The Against Taffy Sinclair Club, which is probably the ultimate story of fifth-grade bitchiness.
posted by emeiji at 9:56 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by emeiji at 9:56 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
I read these fuckers like gospel. By the end of it, I had the lot, plus the board game, plus all the video casettes, plus a charm bracelet I got in a special pack that came with six books and a carry-case, the latter of which I took everywhere until it disintegrated. That's a lot of folding cash for a kid with no allowance. I had decided I was going to save them for my hypothetical future daughters, or at least sell them as classics and buy a yacht.
I was pissed off beyond imagining when I got to age 11 and suddenly wasn't allowed to babysit neighbourhood kids for hard cash, in fact, my uncomprehending mother insisted I still needed a babysitter of my own! Had she not read the Holy Writ?? I had spent many an hour planning and studying. I had a Kid Kit for chrissake! I should have been riding my bike to a paying gig, not being forced over to my grandparents place while she went to work! What heresy!!
So I stopped reading them at that point. My cat had an attack of urinary cystitis on my board game. I stopped trying to dress like Stacy (who was always much more sophisticated than Claudia in my book; too many of the Claud's outfits looked like she rolled through a charity collection bit then added as much papier mache as she could manage). I even took the BSC charm off the bracelet. It was over.
I kinda always wanted to drown Karen Brewer, though. Preferably in something sticky so it took a while.
posted by Jilder at 11:26 PM on January 18, 2011 [8 favorites]
I was pissed off beyond imagining when I got to age 11 and suddenly wasn't allowed to babysit neighbourhood kids for hard cash, in fact, my uncomprehending mother insisted I still needed a babysitter of my own! Had she not read the Holy Writ?? I had spent many an hour planning and studying. I had a Kid Kit for chrissake! I should have been riding my bike to a paying gig, not being forced over to my grandparents place while she went to work! What heresy!!
So I stopped reading them at that point. My cat had an attack of urinary cystitis on my board game. I stopped trying to dress like Stacy (who was always much more sophisticated than Claudia in my book; too many of the Claud's outfits looked like she rolled through a charity collection bit then added as much papier mache as she could manage). I even took the BSC charm off the bracelet. It was over.
I kinda always wanted to drown Karen Brewer, though. Preferably in something sticky so it took a while.
posted by Jilder at 11:26 PM on January 18, 2011 [8 favorites]
Not that I'm bitter.
I could have been reading SVH and been getting all dramatic n shit, but no, I attempted to absorb a sensible small business model and look what it got me. Cheap catpiss scented cardboard. Thanks, army of ghost writers. Oh, don't get me started how crushing that discovery was to 13 year old aspiring writer Jilder. THAT PILL JUST KEEPS GETTING MORE BITTER, DOESN'T IT ANN, YOU SELLOUT!
posted by Jilder at 11:28 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
I could have been reading SVH and been getting all dramatic n shit, but no, I attempted to absorb a sensible small business model and look what it got me. Cheap catpiss scented cardboard. Thanks, army of ghost writers. Oh, don't get me started how crushing that discovery was to 13 year old aspiring writer Jilder. THAT PILL JUST KEEPS GETTING MORE BITTER, DOESN'T IT ANN, YOU SELLOUT!
posted by Jilder at 11:28 PM on January 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Show of hands--how many other people tried to make "dibble" happen among their friends?
Nobody?
Stale. (That website is a black-hole of terrible exposition.)
Also, who can still perfectly replicate Stacey McGill's handwriting?
posted by karminai at 5:17 AM on January 19, 2011
Nobody?
Stale. (That website is a black-hole of terrible exposition.)
Also, who can still perfectly replicate Stacey McGill's handwriting?
posted by karminai at 5:17 AM on January 19, 2011
Anne of Green Gables today = a crazy baker and political lesbian.
Nope, that was, and always will be, Marilla Cuthbert.
You can't guess what happened to Anne because the series finished out with her having a ton of children with Gilbert. AS IT SHOULD HAVE.
Marilla wasn't a lesbian because she never married. She had had a falling out with John Blythe and never married.
I think there are a lot of women who won't end up married and will be childless. It doesn't make them lesbians.
I'm sensitive to people making fun of LM Montgomery's stories. I love them too much.
posted by anniecat at 8:08 AM on January 19, 2011
I was more obsessed with the series that spun off from The Against Taffy Sinclair Club, which is probably the ultimate story of fifth-grade bitchiness.
Sigh, The Fabulous Five.
I spent a lot of summers with my cousins at the library, passing books around. Lying around the house, nowhere we could go by ourselves. I liked Taffy Sinclair books. And some of the Lois Duncans.
posted by anniecat at 8:11 AM on January 19, 2011
Sigh, The Fabulous Five.
I spent a lot of summers with my cousins at the library, passing books around. Lying around the house, nowhere we could go by ourselves. I liked Taffy Sinclair books. And some of the Lois Duncans.
posted by anniecat at 8:11 AM on January 19, 2011
Elizabeth would probably be a super-repressed soccer mom who drives a gas-guzzling SUV while shopping at Whole Foods and hypocritically pretending to be really into saving the rainforest.
It says more about me, but I want bad things to happen to her. I wonder if it's the same feeling some young girls have when cutting the heads off their Barbie dolls. I want the Wakefield twins to be miserable.
posted by anniecat at 8:16 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
It says more about me, but I want bad things to happen to her. I wonder if it's the same feeling some young girls have when cutting the heads off their Barbie dolls. I want the Wakefield twins to be miserable.
posted by anniecat at 8:16 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Doesn't the lad facing down the Space Vampire on this cover look he just came back from Getting Invisible? Same ox-like surprise, same proto-Bieber 'do?
Oh you just took me back--Painted Sweatshirts on Goosebumps Covers were a phenomenon unto themselves
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 9:05 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh you just took me back--Painted Sweatshirts on Goosebumps Covers were a phenomenon unto themselves
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 9:05 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I always thought Claudia#s sister would have been Harvard-bound.
I want to know what happened to Anastasia.
posted by mippy at 9:32 AM on January 19, 2011
I want to know what happened to Anastasia.
posted by mippy at 9:32 AM on January 19, 2011
I just spent half the morning reading that BSC Amsterdam story.
I'm usually not much for FanFic, but that was hilarious!!!!!!
posted by luckynerd at 1:21 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm usually not much for FanFic, but that was hilarious!!!!!!
posted by luckynerd at 1:21 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Anne of Green Gables today = a crazy baker and political lesbian.
Nope, that was, and always will be, Marilla Cuthbert.
Marilla wasn't a lesbian because she never married. She had had a falling out with John Blythe and never married.
I think there are a lot of women who won't end up married and will be childless. It doesn't make them lesbians.
I'm sensitive to people making fun of LM Montgomery's stories. I love them too much.
Marilla and Mrs. Rachel Lynde totally had a Boston marriage after Thomas Lynde died (And they adopted twins together!).
I like to imagine they sat around arguing the relative merits of the Tory and Grit parties and then tried to outdo each other at plum puddings.
(I'm sensitive to people assuming that calling someone a lesbian is "making fun".)
posted by elsietheeel at 1:30 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Nope, that was, and always will be, Marilla Cuthbert.
Marilla wasn't a lesbian because she never married. She had had a falling out with John Blythe and never married.
I think there are a lot of women who won't end up married and will be childless. It doesn't make them lesbians.
I'm sensitive to people making fun of LM Montgomery's stories. I love them too much.
Marilla and Mrs. Rachel Lynde totally had a Boston marriage after Thomas Lynde died (And they adopted twins together!).
I like to imagine they sat around arguing the relative merits of the Tory and Grit parties and then tried to outdo each other at plum puddings.
(I'm sensitive to people assuming that calling someone a lesbian is "making fun".)
posted by elsietheeel at 1:30 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
(I'm sensitive to people assuming that calling someone a lesbian is "making fun".)
As am I.
posted by anniecat at 1:52 PM on January 19, 2011
As am I.
posted by anniecat at 1:52 PM on January 19, 2011
As am I.
anniecat, hope you know that I personally think you are goddamn rad, but what you're saying here just needs a bit of a look-at. I also know that when you're passionate sometimes the words are against you in how they come out, so I'm just saying that I know that 99.9% chance says you're pro queer-interpretation and a straight ally.
But LM Montgomery has an enormous lesbian-populated "Girl's Own" fandom, and to be quelling about talking about gay in terms of Anne Gilbert is kind of sucky, you know? It's my understanding that many girls started off with the inextricably homoromantic aspects of Anne's friendships, and although I support your right to be glad as hell about how Carrots got married and had a passel of kids with Dr. Blythe I'd kind of be surprised if that comment wasn't made with the best of affectionate intention.
I mean I got my beef with Girl's Own fandom feminism and its alliance to anti-trans, sexist femmetruth, but:
I think there are a lot of women who won't end up married and will be childless. It doesn't make them lesbians.
Doesn't make 'em not either. This didn't have to be said.
People who love Anne and love the books can truly find joy in a gay reinterpretation just as much as the people who take the canon as it was and as it is. I'm not saying you're against this, but maybe be a bit more charitable towards the intentions of anyone 'making fun' of the source material this way. Chances are they are probably someone who has read the whole series, loves the shit out of it, and have furtively or not so furtively googled "Priscilla/Anne" to see what pops up.
In the end what I'm saying is, Mistress Pat was a godawfully depressing sequel to Pat of Silver Bush, wasn't it.
posted by monster truck weekend at 5:19 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
anniecat, hope you know that I personally think you are goddamn rad, but what you're saying here just needs a bit of a look-at. I also know that when you're passionate sometimes the words are against you in how they come out, so I'm just saying that I know that 99.9% chance says you're pro queer-interpretation and a straight ally.
But LM Montgomery has an enormous lesbian-populated "Girl's Own" fandom, and to be quelling about talking about gay in terms of Anne Gilbert is kind of sucky, you know? It's my understanding that many girls started off with the inextricably homoromantic aspects of Anne's friendships, and although I support your right to be glad as hell about how Carrots got married and had a passel of kids with Dr. Blythe I'd kind of be surprised if that comment wasn't made with the best of affectionate intention.
I mean I got my beef with Girl's Own fandom feminism and its alliance to anti-trans, sexist femmetruth, but:
I think there are a lot of women who won't end up married and will be childless. It doesn't make them lesbians.
Doesn't make 'em not either. This didn't have to be said.
People who love Anne and love the books can truly find joy in a gay reinterpretation just as much as the people who take the canon as it was and as it is. I'm not saying you're against this, but maybe be a bit more charitable towards the intentions of anyone 'making fun' of the source material this way. Chances are they are probably someone who has read the whole series, loves the shit out of it, and have furtively or not so furtively googled "Priscilla/Anne" to see what pops up.
In the end what I'm saying is, Mistress Pat was a godawfully depressing sequel to Pat of Silver Bush, wasn't it.
posted by monster truck weekend at 5:19 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
goddamnit Anne Shirley, Anne and Gilbert not gestalt at any point.
posted by monster truck weekend at 5:22 PM on January 19, 2011
posted by monster truck weekend at 5:22 PM on January 19, 2011
why were YA illustrations in the 90s so awful?
I adore this type of illustration! The weird poses, the dated clothes -- it's so sad that Kids These Days have to put up with boring photos of actual people on the front of their books.
Fact: no one can paint a jean.
I bought this book for a quarter at St. Vinnie's based on the cover alone. Look how high-waisted those jeans are! And the one chick is wearing socks with flats! Also, the picture's kind of small, but I swear the business to the left is named, simply, VIBRATORS.
posted by brookedel at 10:44 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I adore this type of illustration! The weird poses, the dated clothes -- it's so sad that Kids These Days have to put up with boring photos of actual people on the front of their books.
Fact: no one can paint a jean.
I bought this book for a quarter at St. Vinnie's based on the cover alone. Look how high-waisted those jeans are! And the one chick is wearing socks with flats! Also, the picture's kind of small, but I swear the business to the left is named, simply, VIBRATORS.
posted by brookedel at 10:44 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I always thought Anne's relationship with Gilbert lacked the depth of her relationships with her female friends. And who could forget Anne's obsession with the mysterious and hauntingly beautiful Leslie Moore? And if Anne had been a child of the 60s/70s, you just know she would have been a totes fierce feminist.
posted by prefpara at 12:07 PM on January 20, 2011
posted by prefpara at 12:07 PM on January 20, 2011
THAT IS JUST THE KIND OF THING I AM TALKING ABOUT BROOKEDEL
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 12:39 PM on January 20, 2011
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 12:39 PM on January 20, 2011
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posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:30 PM on January 18, 2011 [3 favorites]