Wake up wormple!

January 19, 2011 10:58 PM

Mind control of C. elegans worms with lasers.
posted by jjray (25 comments total)

I'd lay eggs too if I were hit with that laser.
posted by rmmcclay at 11:09 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Now I am become VALIS
posted by Sparx at 11:18 PM on January 19, 2011 [5 favorites]

Worms with lasers?
posted by rouftop at 11:26 PM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's a laser beam, bozo! Follow it!
posted by scrowdid at 11:32 PM on January 19, 2011

CoLBeRT is named after Stephen Colbert.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:13 AM on January 20, 2011

HARKONNEN!
posted by clavdivs at 12:53 AM on January 20, 2011 [3 favorites]

Welcome to the new era of modern warfare! Imagine how freaked out enemy soldiers would be if they spontaneously started laying eggs on the battlefield - that'd make then run home crying to their mommies forsure!

Ah, it only works on critters that lay eggs in the first place, you say? Oh well, I'm sure that this mind control laser could be used to male them do something equally unnerving; like busting out into the macarena perhaps...
posted by empatterson at 1:02 AM on January 20, 2011

Curse you autocorrect!

could be used to make them...
posted by empatterson at 1:53 AM on January 20, 2011

Should have worn your tin foil hat, wormy!

Mind control to laser worm
Feel a poking touch and stop your swimming on
posted by asok at 1:54 AM on January 20, 2011

Imagine how freaked out enemy soldiers would be if they spontaneously started laying eggs on the battlefield - that'd make then run home crying to their mommies forsure!

That would be more devastating than the terrorist gay bomb.

Heh heh "male them do something equally unnerving"...
posted by XMLicious at 1:54 AM on January 20, 2011

"Imagine how freaked out enemy soldiers would be if they spontaneously started laying eggs on the battlefield - that'd make then run home crying to their mommies forsure!"

That would be more devastating than the terrorist gay bomb.

Yes!! OMG!! You're so evil!! I bet that if you came across a gay nest you'd totally break their eggs and stuff!!
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:45 AM on January 20, 2011

I suspect that the intense burning sensation on the top of one's head might tip one off about the lasers.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 3:23 AM on January 20, 2011

The next time some dude in black Ray Bans asks if he can pretty please with sugar on top install a transparent plate in my skull I'm going to be a lot more suspicious.
posted by Diablevert at 3:43 AM on January 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

This could potentially be a huge cost-saver for Fox News.
posted by PlusDistance at 4:00 AM on January 20, 2011

"You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks nematodes with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!"
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 4:26 AM on January 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

worMKULTRA
posted by griphus at 4:57 AM on January 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

No, that's not at all creepy.
posted by molecicco at 5:00 AM on January 20, 2011

(Somewhere in Cambridge, Massachusetts, a weeping figure in a dirty and torn lab coat raises a clenched fist to the heavens.)

"They laughed at me when I told them I could make a light-sensitive worm that would obey my every command. They laughed harder when I told them I would use lasers to make the beasts heed my will. Well, I'll show them the true power of the laser-slave nematode! I'll show them all!"
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:12 AM on January 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

The text of this FPP gave rise to a mental image of worms wearing tiny laser-equipped helmets with which to do the mind controlling. v. disappointed.
posted by trunk muffins at 5:22 AM on January 20, 2011

> The text of this FPP gave rise to a mental image of worms wearing tiny laser-equipped helmets with which to do the mind controlling. v. disappointed.

Same here, and I was thinking how resource intensive that would be since the mind-control worms could just crawl up an orifice and latch on to your brainstem without requiring bulky equipment.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:19 AM on January 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Mind control of C. elegans worms with freakin' lasers.

Fixed.
posted by Gelatin at 10:04 AM on January 20, 2011

awesome!

I was in a research fellowship .. a couple of years ago now, where the other guy in it was doing this research on tracking vs ranging behaviors using C. elegans. and lasers. and robots. ugh, doing humanities research ... I was always jealous.

so neat though. I was just having a conversation with a classmate today about how fascinating it is what different creatures get used as model organisms for different types of research. did not ever expect that a tiny nematode would be so big in the CogSci department.
posted by circle_b at 12:10 PM on January 20, 2011

If they're gonna do mind control of critters with lasers, why choose worms?

I'd much prefer sharks, or polar bears. For a start, you could attach bigger lasers to them.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:47 PM on January 20, 2011

I knew my contributions to the erotic mind control story archive would eventually be vindicated. Now Harpers will rue rejecting them!
posted by klangklangston at 1:16 PM on January 20, 2011

Mind control of C. elegans worms with lasers.

If only they were in orbit.

If only.
posted by eriko at 8:51 PM on January 20, 2011