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January 25, 2011 11:54 AM   Subscribe

Virgin Atlantic Illuminati ad.

Suppposed New World Order symbolism abounds in this European airline ad for Virgin Atlantic - picked apart here as promoting sex and communism. Previously, previously, at the very least, keeping paranoid people active in cyberspace.
posted by rodmandirect (84 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
you know, going completely bonkers may be worth it for the ability to imagine woman dancing around forks hoisting huge shrimp to the sky as a political statement.
posted by The Whelk at 11:57 AM on January 25, 2011 [6 favorites]


I have a sudden urge to to deconstruct every James Bond film intro in the service of looking for NEW WORLD ORDER ILLUMINATI SYMBOLISM.
posted by the painkiller at 12:04 PM on January 25, 2011 [4 favorites]


If that's the new world order then bring it on. Sooner the better.
posted by Babblesort at 12:04 PM on January 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


I'm a member of the Illuminati and we did not authorize this message, please disregard and resume microwaving your money.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 12:06 PM on January 25, 2011 [5 favorites]


Could the late Wilson Bryan Key please come to the white courtesy phone?
posted by grabbingsand at 12:08 PM on January 25, 2011


Branson the communist, eh?
posted by The Mouthchew at 12:11 PM on January 25, 2011


Ewige Blumenkraft! Hail Eris!
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:11 PM on January 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


This post is kind of stupid.
posted by empath at 12:13 PM on January 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


...the Communist coat of arms...
Communism has a coat of arms?

...you can clearly make out a nude female showing breasts...
Females with breasts you say? This must be an Illuminati conspiracy!

...you can clearly see the words SEX in the logo...
Umm... OK?

...a building that resembles the Tower of Babel.
That Babel tower looks a lot like the Gherkin!

Also, I can't believe you didn't mention the symbolic Deathstar at 1:05? And what about the shrimp symbology?

Nice song though.
posted by jonesor at 12:13 PM on January 25, 2011


I was waiting for one of them to shoot me and have red blood slide down the screen. Alas, I was disappointed.
posted by msbutah at 12:14 PM on January 25, 2011


I don't always fly but when I do I prefer to be high as a kite.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:14 PM on January 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Still, you're just paying them to sit on their airplane for several hours.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:15 PM on January 25, 2011


Lots of non-political creepiness in that spot, but the biggest WTF was the entrance and exit of the "Ice Cream" lady. (She came out of a much larger woman's shirt then melted into the floor)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:15 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


> he biggest WTF was the entrance and exit of the "Ice Cream" lady.

She represents the suppressed (frozen) id of the fare paying passenger. When you fly Virgin, your essence becomes free for a moment, then merges with the surroundings to become one with the aircraft.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:17 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Prisonplanet is of course a bastion of rational thinking and reliable analysis.
posted by Rhomboid at 12:18 PM on January 25, 2011


My husband has a cheesy football blog, and gets tons of hits every month for "[sports figure name] + illuminati" . . . we always thought it was some sort of joke? I guess people really believe this stuff?
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:19 PM on January 25, 2011


"woman dancing around forks hoisting huge shrimp to the sky as a political statement."

you might want to look at that again..

And.. yeah...
posted by HuronBob at 12:20 PM on January 25, 2011


Oh man. I've never seen that PrisonPlanet website. I don't whether to thank you for providing my entire monthly dose of crazy, or curse you and the next 12 generations of your family.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:20 PM on January 25, 2011


Communism has a coat of arms?

It's Karl Marx, rampant, on a field of the proletariat.

You really, really don't want to see it.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:20 PM on January 25, 2011 [7 favorites]


But after watching it a few times, I'm convinced that it tells the amazingly obscure esoteric story of a passenger pampered on his flight from Europe to New York.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:20 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


The next scene is of the Statue of Liberty under chemtrails.

BOOM! There it is: the magic word that means I don't have to even remotely take anything else said seriously. I love it; it's like red center-justified text on a black background. The moment it's seen, you can just turn off the logic centers of the brain and just enjoy the ride.
posted by quin at 12:20 PM on January 25, 2011 [16 favorites]


If I were running the NWO, I'd be Prison Planet's largest donor. Every tiny little thing that, with enough time on one's hands and paranoia in one's mind, could be misconstrued as even tangentially related to some grand NWO plan does get misconstrued that way.

Like the boy who cried wolf, if any part of their constant paranoid onslaught has a nugget of truth, the world will shrug their shoulders and say "I dunno, those dudes are crackpots".

You'd think they'd catch on to this and maybe keep the shit under wraps until there really is a reason to sound the alarm.

That is, if this wasn't just one charismatic, albeit talentless, jackass's way of selling fear to a society that pays top dollar to be scared while feeling like they're "on the inside track".

Which is exactly what he is.
posted by revmitcz at 12:22 PM on January 25, 2011


I'd comment about this but I have to go spread a few chemtrails around the sky. BRB.
posted by Curious Artificer at 12:23 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


And what about the shrimp symbology?

Hey, viagra-popping pencil dicks! Feeling, you know, a little too bite-sized? Don't you wish you had a member as big as this pickle-shaped building? Try (a) Virgin!

Full marks to the patriotic blogosphere, by the way, for teasing out the subtle sexual undertones - heretofore unprecedented in mainstream advertising - in this ad for Virgin Airways. You'd think your better Illuminati scholars would be quicker to pick up on the fact that the ad was set to a soundtrack by pinko civil rights activist Nina Simone, shilling for an airline that profits noted anarchist-coddler Richard "Nevermind the Bollocks" Branson. But, you know, that colour red thing is pretty alarming too. That's some communism allegoricalizing right there. Just like them Marxist stooges at Budweiser.

Their Truth Is Marching On!
posted by gompa at 12:25 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm more concerned by Virgin's plan to breed giantesses to envelope passengers in aerogel
posted by The Whelk at 12:25 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


And what about the shrimp symbology?

"shrimp" is a slang term meaning "to suck toes" - the video has a few foot fetishist motifs. meh. sex sells, as usual.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:25 PM on January 25, 2011


you might want to look at that again..

Ah I take your point. It made no sense before but the pole-dancing waiters are clearly the foot soldiers of communism ready to serve the "captured" citizens to the elite, who are of course gigantic and overpowering.
posted by The Whelk at 12:28 PM on January 25, 2011


"Please ensure your seat backs and tray tables fnord are in the upright position..."
posted by brundlefly at 12:29 PM on January 25, 2011 [5 favorites]


you know when you call these people crazy and stupid you come off as condescending and rude and you're not going to convince them of anything you have to respect their point of view as a valid alternative
posted by Legomancer at 12:31 PM on January 25, 2011


you know, going completely bonkers may be worth it for the ability to imagine woman dancing around forks hoisting huge shrimp to the sky

And that's how Cthulhu wins.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:31 PM on January 25, 2011


the video has a few foot fetishist motifs.

a *few*? I was starting to think Tarentino directed it.
posted by The Whelk at 12:33 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


promoting sex and communism

Communism is a poor substitute for drugs and rock & roll. Stick with the original recipe.
posted by The World Famous at 12:33 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Here's my Virgin Airlines story...

My company flew me from L.A. to London for a game demo. I was literally being flown several thousands miles to play a game for 15 minutes, because I was the so-called expert and the marketing folks couldn't be bothered to draft some nine-year-old and give him an hour with the game's tutorial.

They flew me Virgin Upper Class. A limo picked me up at my house in Orange County and drove me to LAX. They whisked me to a private lounge with free food and drink. They held the plane for me, while I was escorted to the gate. My seat folded flat, there was more food and drink, and there was an on-board massage therapist. A limo was waiting for me at the other end.

The same process -- limos, massage, etc -- was repeated in the opposite direction, only the Heathrow facilities were 10 times better than LAX.

Rock star moment: Boarding the aircraft after everyone else was boarded and seated and belted. The plane was literally waiting for me.

I saw the ticket price. Soon after, I bought a very nice car for the same amount as the ticket. Still driving it, too, seven years later.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:39 PM on January 25, 2011 [15 favorites]


you have to respect their point of view as a valid alternative

That's nonsense. Crazy doesn't get a pass just because crazy scrawls words on a page with a crayon. Crazy has to make arguments supported by evidence and reason, just like everybody else.
posted by Rhomboid at 12:45 PM on January 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


This is even stupider than those Bud[weiser] Plane ads, because at least those know they're stupid and assume the audience is in on the joke.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:45 PM on January 25, 2011


I don't get itfnord
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:48 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


The real scary thing is how slick marketing has gotten.

Passing oneself off as a conspiracy nut to get metafilter to watch an ad is either a new high or a new low.
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:49 PM on January 25, 2011


I'd like to see the ad analyzed from a non-Illuminati perspective.
Capitalism will increasingly depend on the hallucinatory to defend itself.
posted by PHINC at 12:51 PM on January 25, 2011


Somewhere, someone is following in the foosteps of Shea and Wilson, and cataloging all this weird stuff for development into a screenplay or novel.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 12:53 PM on January 25, 2011


you know when you call these people crazy and stupid you come off as condescending and rude and you're not going to convince them of anything you have to respect their point of view as a valid alternative

Whackjobs are as whackjobs do. Anti-vaxxers, homeopaths, new world order conspiracists, that time cube guy, flat earthers, geocentricists, creationists, whatever. It's all the same bullshit.
posted by kmz at 12:57 PM on January 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


They flew me Virgin Upper Class.

We truly are in a new Guilded Age. The only reason people aren't hanging from lamposts is that us plebes so rarely slip past the velvet ropes and to see how very excessive that world is. In my own experience, anything relating to the UN is gold-plated, then dipped in chocolate picked by hand-crafted artisans, well beyond the dreams of middle-class jerks like me.

It's interesting to see that Virgin so completely caters to wealthy feet-lovers though. I wouldn't have thought that was a huge market, but there you are.
posted by bonehead at 12:58 PM on January 25, 2011


The Illuminati are in ads for Virgin Atlantic now? Fucking sellouts.
posted by aubilenon at 12:58 PM on January 25, 2011


> I'd like to see the ad analyzed from a non-Illuminati perspective.

It's just a depiction of indulgence to the point of excess...nothing really seems particularly mysterious. Even the waitress melting into the aisle just means that once they deliver something to you they get out of the way to let you enjoy it.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:59 PM on January 25, 2011


YOU GUYS ARE SO HILARIOSLY BLIND TO WHATS GOING ON OPEN YOURE EYES PEOPLE!!! THIS IS PART OF THE BILDERBERGS AND ROTHSCHILDS STRATEGY THEY WANT US TO LOOK LIKE WERE CRAZY FOR ASKIG LEGITAMITE QUESTIONS
posted by windbox at 1:00 PM on January 25, 2011


Speaking of the Illuminati, does anyone know what's up with the recent Illuminati conspiracies in the hip hop community? See this article for a representative example of the genre. Is this a 4chan prank gone awry?
posted by mhum at 1:06 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


I prefer to believe this is a trailer for the next - and worst-ever - James Bond film.

Live Or Let Fly
On Her Majesty's Secret Service Charge
Layovers Are Forever
For Airlines Only
The Man With The Golden Trunk
Fly Another Day
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:06 PM on January 25, 2011 [12 favorites]


Ew, a prisonplanet link! Ew... just... ew.
posted by Catblack at 1:16 PM on January 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Little known fact - if flights are particularly full, the crew's luggage is the first to be booted out of the hold. Long-haul pilots often wear two sets of uniforms to avoid being caught without a change of clothes at the other end.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:22 PM on January 25, 2011


And what about the shrimp symbology?

Clam-plate orgy, anybody?
posted by steambadger at 1:24 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


> Little known fact - if flights are particularly full, the crew's luggage is the first to be booted out of the hold. Long-haul pilots often wear two sets of uniforms to avoid being caught without a change of clothes at the other end.

Do you have a cite for that? Why wouldn't they just stash their bags in the sleeping/break compartments?
posted by Burhanistan at 1:26 PM on January 25, 2011


The conspiracy theory deconstruction is moronic, but this is a pretty good ad - they take the James Bond intro aesthetic and go crazy with it and have a laugh.
posted by Bwithh at 1:27 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Do you have a cite for that?

It was a bad joke about the odd dancing dude in the x-ray scanner that didn't lose his double-breasted suit.

posted by backseatpilot at 1:29 PM on January 25, 2011


If you fly in first class, they have sheeple on the menu.
posted by not_on_display at 1:34 PM on January 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Can we get a warning before going to a site like PrisonPlanet. Oh, it isn't that I will get into any sort of trouble at work. It is just that I would hate to accidentally choke down a turd.
posted by munchingzombie at 1:34 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


They are setting up the public into accepting this ‘new era’ of world dictatorship just in time for the 2012 Olympic Illuminati ceremonies and the marriage of Prince William and the future Princess of England coming April 28, 2011.

Hey, at least there's finally an explanation for why the fuck we're supposed to care about this royal wedding.
posted by COBRA! at 1:41 PM on January 25, 2011


Has Vigilant Citizen weighed in on this?
posted by demiurge at 1:45 PM on January 25, 2011


revmitcz: "If I were running the NWO, I'd be Prison Planet's largest donor. Every tiny little thing that, with enough time on one's hands and paranoia in one's mind, could be misconstrued as even tangentially related to some grand NWO plan does get misconstrued that way."

Man, you really need to buy my bumpersticker. ;)

(no really, this is precisely the thought that goes through my head. I mean, really. Who is benefitting from all this? Alex Jones! and using their Cui Bono logic, this must be the TRUTH!)
posted by symbioid at 1:46 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Shrimp? and White Wine?
posted by symbioid at 1:48 PM on January 25, 2011


Speaking of the Illuminati, does anyone know what's up with the recent Illuminati conspiracies in the hip hop community? See this article for a representative example of the genre. Is this a 4chan prank gone awry?

There has always been a streak of mysticism in probably due to the influence of Elijah Muhammad way back. There is no denying Jay-Z and Rocawear use masonic imagery
posted by Ad hominem at 1:57 PM on January 25, 2011


That was for the First Class crowd. There are no giant forks with shrimp in coach.
posted by Liquidwolf at 2:05 PM on January 25, 2011


There is no denying Jay-Z and Rocawear use masonic imagery


I wouldn't give them that much credit, they just love money.
posted by Liquidwolf at 2:07 PM on January 25, 2011


I seem to remember the original song being used for an advert for "hygenic" products. And of course once a song is used for an ad then that generally is what it calls to mind when you hear it for ever after.

Which is exactly in step with the New World Order's plans. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
posted by panboi at 2:13 PM on January 25, 2011


Hey that ad was bangin'.
posted by Mister_A at 2:17 PM on January 25, 2011


I totally saw the "S.E.X." in the logo, very clearly, after I looked at it for like, 12 seconds, sideways, and in green pen.

I'm sold.
posted by Chuffy at 2:39 PM on January 25, 2011


And what about the shrimp symbology?

Clam-plate orgy, anybody?


The shrimp and the cabbage are very intimate.
posted by XMLicious at 2:42 PM on January 25, 2011


THIS IS PART OF THE BILDERBERGS AND ROTHSCHILDS STRATEGY THEY WANT US TO LOOK LIKE WERE CRAZY

It's working.
posted by grubi at 2:53 PM on January 25, 2011


I'm sure it's all just a coincidence
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:07 PM on January 25, 2011


you know when you call these people crazy and stupid you come off as condescending and rude and you're not going to convince them of anything you have to respect their point of view as a valid alternative

*snort*
posted by odinsdream at 3:10 PM on January 25, 2011


Truth be told, I would welcome a world run by the Illuminati, if that means a world where Alex Jones and his ilk could be effectively suppressed and silenced forever. But then I'd also like cures for all the cancers, and a new Tom Waits album without any shitty piano ballads on it. I've got a lot of crazy dreams.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 3:19 PM on January 25, 2011


Fave chemtrails tale: I hang out on Pprune, an aviation forum run by and for professional pilots (and aviation nerds, as long as they behave ourselves). It had an obnoxious and persistent influx of chemtrailers, who were treated with respect, then ridicule, then a degree of irritation.

A couple of Ppruner pilots decided to have some fun. They photoshopped the cockpit of a 737 to include a very well mocked-up chemtrail secret control panel, which had some attention to detail - flow meters, proper isolation switches, alarms, etc. They then 'came clean' and described operational procedures.

The chemtrailers left in something of a huff. Was marvellous to behold.
posted by Devonian at 3:20 PM on January 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Devonian: Link or it didn't happen.
posted by Dr. Curare at 3:40 PM on January 25, 2011


Ah, Dr. Curare, I fear I cannot find the exact thread.

However, this post refers. I slightly misremembered - the intrepid Ppruners went over to the chemtrails forum to do their mischief.
posted by Devonian at 4:29 PM on January 25, 2011


Truth be told, I would welcome a world run by the Illuminati

I know right? The Conspiracy Theory worldview is so optimistic in that it assumes you really could run something that complex that smoothly. it's hard getting people to show up to a coffee shop on time let alone RUN THE WORLD. The CT worldview has a much rosier opinion of human ability then I do.
posted by The Whelk at 4:34 PM on January 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
posted by jimmythefish at 5:43 PM on January 25, 2011


ARGH! I have this irrational irritation with even the word "chemtrail." It's like idiots mishear "contrail" and the mishearing begets an orgy of willful ignorance and olympic pools filled with watersports of stupid.

They're fucking contrails, short for condensation trails. Air heats up as they go through a jet's turbines, and upon cooling, the moisture precipitates into ice crystals.

While whether they're harmless or not is debatable, they they aren't some stupid conspiracy. There are enough conspiracies by extra-national corporations colluding with corrupt government that we really don't even need the Illuminati.
posted by porpoise at 6:17 PM on January 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


Looks like the illum's have switched to compact fluorescent.
posted by Twang at 7:28 PM on January 25, 2011


You can clearly see the words SEX in the logo if you take a green marker and write the word "SEX" over the logo.
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 7:36 PM on January 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


Wait, they have shrimp on Virgin Airlines?
posted by interplanetjanet at 8:04 PM on January 25, 2011


Shine on, you crazy diamond.
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 9:20 PM on January 25, 2011


It's like idiots mishear "contrail" and the mishearing begets an orgy of willful ignorance and olympic pools filled with watersports of stupid.

This may be the best sentence ever composed on metafilter.
posted by b1tr0t at 9:53 PM on January 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


So that's why I get a hard-on when I see an Apple ad.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 3:22 AM on January 26, 2011


There's a bit of Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" video, too.

the ad was set to a soundtrack by pinko civil rights activist Nina Simone

Well, the Muse version anyhow, and however awesome Nina Simone's version is, it's a cover too. "Feeling Good" was originally recorded by Cy Grant, who sang it in the musical it was written for.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:50 AM on January 26, 2011


Related to the above mentioned pprune Chemtrails cockpit controls, this FlyAfrica post with console mockup.
posted by zippy at 2:39 PM on January 26, 2011


For a while, I was a regular reader of both The Skeptic and The Fortean Times, and I've always been a bit amused at the contrast between "this is utterly wrong, and the people advocating this are stupid and morally dangerous" and "wow, isn't this amazingly weird and absurd folklore?"

The contrast was especially acute when it came to UFOlogy. The skeptics were usually intent on disproving the ET hypothesis while the Forteans would, with good humor, document how tiny bits of inexplicable weirdness develop into full-blown conspiracy theories.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 3:09 PM on January 26, 2011


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