January 11, 2002

9:28 AM

After yesterday's feverish response to the greatest bands of all time, I gotta ask who do you think are the worst bands of all time? Creed has got to be it for me. I don't think these guys can ever even have nostalgia value.
posted by dig_duggler (178 comments total)

You're gonna break matt's server with this thread...
posted by Tacodog at 9:30 AM on January 11, 2002

what about Kid Rock? although Creed was a very good choice.

now, I realize everyone has the right to their own tastes, but that doesn't mean whatever taste someone has is necessarily good.
posted by mcsweetie at 9:33 AM on January 11, 2002

Dig Duggler - There are a lot worse bands than Creed out there. I actually kinda like a couple of their songs in a "sing-along-during-your-commute' type of way and their singer actually does have a decent set of pipes.
The worst bands are...well I personally despise The Cure and The Smiths but even they rank above LFO, the band who are played nonstop in the inner circle of hell.
posted by jonmc at 9:36 AM on January 11, 2002

mcsweetie - you blasphemer! Kid Rock is fun in the Ted Nugent,pump-your-fist-in-the-air type of way. And he has the right kiss-my-ass attitude for a rock star. Nothing earthshaking, true, but "American BadAss"is good for a snack every now and then.
posted by jonmc at 9:38 AM on January 11, 2002

Yeah, Creed's pretty bad. Everything they do sounds the same. 99.9% of "NuMetal" is crud as well.

</message-board>

<metafilter>
posted by tomorama at 9:39 AM on January 11, 2002

leaving aside all the bands that were/are bad but insignificant, of which there are uncounted billions, I nominate Blue Cheer. This from Allmusic.com, which I can't link directly to:

> San Francisco-based Blue Cheer was what, in the
> late '60s, they used to call a "power trio": Dickie
> Peterson (b. 1948, Grand Forks, ND) (bass, vocals), Paul
> Whaley (drums), and Leigh Stephens (guitar). They
> played what later was called heavy metal, and when
> they debuted in January 1968 with the album Vincebus
> Eruptum and a Top 40 cover of Eddie Cochran's
> hit "Summertime Blues," they sounded louder and more
> extreme than anything that had come before them. As it
> turned out, they were a precursor of much that would
> come after.

Allmusic reviews tend not to be mean-spirited enough. The Rolling Stone Guide says (I quote from memory) "...white noise and screaming... a true-life Spinal Tap... bad taste of almost surreal intensity."
posted by jfuller at 9:41 AM on January 11, 2002

Limp Bizkit. Worst 'band' ever.
posted by insomnyuk at 9:42 AM on January 11, 2002

Worst band of all time? Could you get any more subjective? And anyway, regardless of Creed's lack of originality or musicianship, they've been around for what, 5 years? And you want to name them worst band of all time? What about all the bands that had one hit on the radio and then died? What about all the garage bands that never made it all because they're terrible? If we're going to vote for worst band of all time, I vote for my high school garage band "My Mom" - we had one gig, and then broke up. You know why you never heard of us? Because we sucked!

If you wanted to start a thread about how much you hate Creed, why didn't you just say so? Instead of disguising it with this "worst band of all time" stuff?
posted by starvingartist at 9:44 AM on January 11, 2002

99.9% of "NuMetal" is crud as well.

Tomorama, this is true. I put Creed and Kid Rock and maybe throw in Godsmack and Disturbed in that .01% that is not. Now I realize I'm probably the only non-closeted metal fan in the room, but even you metal-haters have gotta admit that say LIMP BIZKIT is a lot worse than Creed or Kid Rock. They have neither Creeds tunefulness or Kid Rocks sense of humor to redeem them.
posted by jonmc at 9:45 AM on January 11, 2002

Enter any girlband/boyband here: _____________
posted by riffola at 9:46 AM on January 11, 2002

I second the Creed nomination. Scott Staap (rhymes with "crap") makes me physically ill. Cut the mullet, dude.

I really hope he dies soon. When he does, I'm gonna dig up his skeleton and drink a beer out of his cold, dead skull.

But I'm not bitter. Really.
posted by Reggie452 at 9:46 AM on January 11, 2002

And another thing - Creed's new album sold enough copies in the six remaining weeks of 2001 to hit #6 on the charts. Can't be that bad, can they?
posted by starvingartist at 9:47 AM on January 11, 2002

I agree with jonmc, that Limp Bizkit is right up there in the list of suckage, but I don't like Creed either, Scott Staap is not meant for Rock.
posted by riffola at 9:48 AM on January 11, 2002

Blue Cheer? What about Kansas? "Carry On My Wayward Son" is on of the few songs (alond with"I've Seen All Good People" by Yes) that absolutely forces me to change a radio station.
posted by jonmc at 9:48 AM on January 11, 2002

HOKAY, folks, let's go back to the stoneage. When I was in college, I briefly flirted with the idea of going into broadcast radio as a career. (That's a long story.) I was a DJ on the student radio station. There was one album we had called "Mom's Apple Pie". The cover was a painting of a grandmotherly-type lady, grey hair in a bun, standing in an old fashioned kitchen, holding out a pie towards us, with one slice taken out. And where the pie slice was missing was, it turned out, a drawing of what's between a woman's thighs. (Very explicit, too.)

The record company didn't notice it at the time -- but when they did, they recalled the album and that group sank from sight. (Their music sucked, too.) Anyway, you can apparently buy a copy of the original album cover here as a poster. (I couldn't find any online pictures of it, though.)
posted by Steven Den Beste at 9:50 AM on January 11, 2002

Some bands hover in a sort of limbo: so lame as to be utterly iconsequential, yet so mediocre as to be totally offensive: Matchbox 20, Dave Matthews band, Toad the Wet Sprocket, and the king of foul Cabriolet fraternity soundtrack music: Hootie and Da Blowfish.
posted by Ty Webb at 9:50 AM on January 11, 2002

starvingartist: dong_resin's post in the Carson Daly thread, should answer your question.
posted by riffola at 9:50 AM on January 11, 2002

jonmc I have to disagree, Creed is a horrible horrible band, and worse they take themselves seriously (eeespecially their lead singer- doing his best Sebastion Bach impersonation that he can). While this alt-rock grunge boom of the 90's put some great bands over (Sonic Youth, Beck, hell even the Melvins) it also produced some pretty god awful shit from people who were riding the wave and created these weird mutation-hybrids from it (Collective Soul, Limp Biskit, Korn). The worst part is these bands tend to think they actually are good. The late 90's was one of the worst times in music.
posted by dig_duggler at 9:53 AM on January 11, 2002

I am going to have to say the Moldy Peaches because, while their total lack of ability is the charm that sells them to many people, they are being touted as like the new greatest thing. Personally, I think they suck. I mean, I've seen bands suck, but they're the worst suckity suck that ever sucked.
posted by bob bisquick at 9:54 AM on January 11, 2002

SDB- I remember that story. I actually saw a copy of that cover in a used record store in Illinois, priced at like $100.
posted by jonmc at 9:54 AM on January 11, 2002

I gotta agree with the LFO comment... rhymes about girls wearing Abercrombie and Fitch to a sampled Extreme guitar bit? AAAHHHHHGHGGGGG!

I'm pretty sure they're the worst of the worst.
posted by ph00dz at 9:55 AM on January 11, 2002

jonmc I have to disagree, Creed is a horrible horrible band, and worse they take themselves seriously (eeespecially their lead singer- doing his best Sebastion Bach impersonation that he can). While this alt-rock grunge boom of the 90's put some great bands over (Sonic Youth, Beck, hell even the Melvins) it also produced some pretty god awful shit from people who were riding the wave and created these weird mutation-hybrids from it (Collective Soul, Limp Biskit, Korn). The worst part is these bands tend to think they actually are good. The late 90's was one of the worst times in music. I say this because the bands that would normally fall throught the cracks and you wouldn't see on a late 90's compilation were the hit makers.
posted by dig_duggler at 9:55 AM on January 11, 2002

But right after my puppy died Creed's music gave me a reason to go on living:

To live long enough to see Creed's music totally forgotten.

The worst band of all time is either my buddy Marty's band The Yellowhammers or it's Limp Bizkit. And since nobody but me and a few other unfortunates have had to hear the Yellowhammers, it MUST by Limp Bizkit.

And another thing - Creed's new album sold enough copies in the six remaining weeks of 2001 to hit #6 on the charts. Can't be that bad, can they?

Yes, they can.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:56 AM on January 11, 2002

To paraphrase David Spade:

"I liked Creed the first time around...when they were called 'Pearl Jam'".
posted by 4midori at 9:56 AM on January 11, 2002

shit double post. sorry.
posted by dig_duggler at 9:56 AM on January 11, 2002

Yeah, riffola, that answers my question. Carson Daly bought every copy of the Creed album... for the Lord.

Jesus Christ that's stupid.
posted by starvingartist at 9:57 AM on January 11, 2002

I just told my girlfreind(well call her mrs.jonmc) about this thread. She immediately asked me

"Who were those assholes with the flowerpots on their heads?'

"Devo" I said.

She answered " I nominate them."

Rock on, honey.
posted by jonmc at 9:59 AM on January 11, 2002 [1 favorite]

johnmc I do agree that Kansas is quite bad. I had to sit through one of their concerts once, as I didn't drive. so bad.
posted by dig_duggler at 9:59 AM on January 11, 2002

Lymp Pancakes.
posted by Perigee at 10:02 AM on January 11, 2002

Creed is kinda bad and annoying, but I don't think they hold a candle to the suckage that is Third Eye Blind.

Another band I was unfortunately subjected to here at work was a horrid Dave Matthews rip-off called Five for Fighting.

A quick trip to ebay turned up Mom's Apple Pie.
posted by O9scar at 10:02 AM on January 11, 2002

Devo? DEVO? no offense, but no wonder you like creed.
posted by dig_duggler at 10:02 AM on January 11, 2002

Creed is actually okay. They've got a good message, and their new album actually has some VERY heavy stuff on it. I nominate Buckner and Garcia... remember Pac-man Fever?
posted by hurkle at 10:03 AM on January 11, 2002

Creed's new album sold enough copies in the six remaining weeks of 2001 to hit #6 on the charts. Can't be that bad, can they?

Some of us determine the quality of music by criteria other than how much money it makes.

I would also second the nomination of Collective Soul. Ugh.

Wasn't Grand Funk Railroad generally considered to be at the top of this category for quite some time?
posted by Dirjy at 10:05 AM on January 11, 2002

Steven: It's currently on sale in EBay, and here's the picture. Yikes!

Where I live (St. Augustine), Creed's manager co-owns a small club here on the island (the Mad Love Room), and Scott Stapp got into a fight with a heckler there last year. The guy told him, reportedly, "You should've never quit Pearl Jam."

Right now, my front-runner for all-time worst band has to be the third-generation Orlando boy band O Town. Their performance during one of the recent awards shows should be used to smoke Al Qaeda members out of hiding.
posted by rcade at 10:07 AM on January 11, 2002

Wasn't Grand Funk Railroad generally considered to be at the top of this category for quite some time?

Yes, but "We're An American Band" has aged surprisingly well.
posted by jonmc at 10:08 AM on January 11, 2002

The Scorpions are the worst band ever. Period.
posted by arf at 10:09 AM on January 11, 2002

there are loads more bad bands than good ones. i'd nominate destiny's child (that song "survivor" sound like 16 cats shitting spiky furballs wailing all at once).

i also don't see much of a difference between 'n sync, backstreet boys, limp biskit, linkin park, incubus, creed, lfo, o-town, drowning pool, newer jimmy eat world, new p.o.d., alicia keys and the new and decidedly unimproved weezer. all c-r-a-p.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:09 AM on January 11, 2002

whoops, forgot kid rock.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:10 AM on January 11, 2002

Some of us determine the quality of music by criteria other than how much money it makes.

My point was, this whole discussion is stupid and pointless. Nominating somebody "Worst Band of All Time" is even more subjective than "Best Band of All Time", because obviously people here have very strong reasons to hate such bands. I hate Devo's music. I like some of Creed's stuff. I like some of Collective Soul's stuff. I think "Secret Samadhi" is the worst Live album they could possibly have produced, but I really like the rest of their stuff. I also like Slayer, Moxy Fruvous, and I still love Warrant.

Like I said before, this really seems to be a "Creed sux" thread, so why don't we all just admit that and get on with our lives?
posted by starvingartist at 10:11 AM on January 11, 2002

Best and Worst band ever (to me): Beat Happening. I own every album and love/hate them all. Same goes for Moldy Peaches.
posted by Karl at 10:11 AM on January 11, 2002

aerosmith. those geezers suck
posted by bliss322 at 10:11 AM on January 11, 2002

P. Diddy, formerly known as Puff Daddy formerly known as Shaun "Puffy" Combs. Not a band, but still horrible. Past that I can't even begin to comment on rap or hip-hop, because I listen to it so rarely, although Nelly's new song "Number 1" is up there with the worst stuff produced.

Then there's that whole new metal fake aggressive crap, like Limp Bizkit, Slipknot (i hate that lame ass gimmick shit), KoRn, Drowning Pool, Disturbed, Godsmack (Voodoo is one of the worst songs EVER)... there are many more in this genre, but they are not worth mentioning. They act like they have street cred but really most of them were just poor burger flippers, and now they're rich burger flippers. Although I do like System of A Down.

Grunge had its horrible moments too. Anyone remember the Crash Test Dummies (Mmm mmmm mmm)? Live also sucks. I hate Live. God I hate Live.

Then there is every boy band or teen idol, all horrible, and too numerous to list.
posted by insomnyuk at 10:11 AM on January 11, 2002

Limp Bizkit is the worst. Wasn't it Fred Durst that backed down from a fight challenge from the Scott dude from Creed? (Boxing match with refs, proceeds to charity). If I'm remembering correctly, the fight challenge was in response to a 'dis from Fred.

So, that puts Creed a teeny bit above Limp Bizkit in my book. Scott displayed cojones (sp?) when he needed to; Fred didn't.
posted by xena at 10:14 AM on January 11, 2002

oh man. devo, smiths, the cure all knocked in the same thread. tsk tsk tsk. Have you ever listened to anything more than "Whip It"?

too many terrible bands. can't name them all. who can, really? i mean...when i was in high school i could rattle off names and songs from about 350 bands without getting into top 40 shite. Who has time to listen to terrible bands? i didn't. Being the 80's, many of my classmates did...i hope all the guys who used to offer to beat me up after school cringe everytime the see an old photo of themselves looking like a cross between Poison and Hall & Oates.

[the guy from creed thinks he IS jesus]
posted by th3ph17 at 10:14 AM on January 11, 2002

The Starland Vocal Band
posted by briank at 10:15 AM on January 11, 2002

Some people would put Zebra on such a list. But not me.
posted by KLAX at 10:15 AM on January 11, 2002

Devo? DEVO? no offense, but no wonder you like creed.

I like guitar rock, man. Creed are OK at best sure(check the best band thread form yesterday for the truly good stuff) but it sure beats the hell out of boy bands or Britney.
Yes Devo suck. I fully back my girlfreind on this one. While metal has always been everyones whipping boy for how bad the 80's were, no one ever mentions that the only alternative(on the radio at least) was synth-pop a la Devo and the Thompson Twins. With that as the alternative, no wonder I listened to Iron Maiden, Judas Preist, and Twisted Sister back than(confession: I occasionally still do...)

*makes "devil horns" salute*
Breakin the law...breakin the law..
posted by jonmc at 10:16 AM on January 11, 2002

maybe a better way to do this thread would be, worst band ever to have a top 10 hit or something.
posted by th3ph17 at 10:16 AM on January 11, 2002

I love all bands.
posted by corpse at 10:17 AM on January 11, 2002

After that jonmc, I officially declare your anti-devo, smiths and cure statements null and void. Twisted Sister... just wrong. ;)
posted by eyeballkid at 10:18 AM on January 11, 2002

starvingartist, I wasn't trying to start a Creed sucks thread, they just happen to suck more than anyone in my opinion, even more amazing given their 5 short years. I can't rate your band, because I never heard them. I'm sorry if you're offended that a lot of people think creed suck. I could have just as easily harped on Third eye blind etc. And all lists are subjective. But they sure are fun.
posted by dig_duggler at 10:21 AM on January 11, 2002

I think lack of ideas, inventiveness, talent and ability to make good sounds should be categories that are taken into account here. Hence, the worst band in the world is the fucking shit entity which goes by the name 'WESTLIFE'. They sell shitloads in England and no-one knows anyone who likes them. Easy target? Fuck, yeah! Not to say Creed aren't bollocks though. The worst bands are just boring. I like the Moldy Peaches, but I have to be in the right mood. Same for Limp Bizkit, I love some of their songs but there's a lot of shit and they're stupid. It's easy to dislike idiots, even if they've done some good stuff.
posted by boneybaloney at 10:21 AM on January 11, 2002

Here's the question, though - almost all of the bands discussed here have been top-10-single producers, meaning either that someone must have thought to market them and created a market, or some marketer must have seen that the band had just found a market for themselves. The question is, why? If they're all so bad, why are they so popular?
posted by Sinner at 10:22 AM on January 11, 2002

To quote one of my friends, who made this comment after seeing Creed play one or two songs at a radio festival: "Creed makes me want to shoot myself in the face."

Creed is, in my opinion, the worst band ever. They have no unique sound and try to capitalize off of Christian rock apologists by writing syrupy, inane lyrics "God god god jesus jesus higher!" yet refusing to accept the diminished sales that come with actually identifying themselves as a religious band.

Shoot myself in the face.
posted by jed at 10:22 AM on January 11, 2002

arf- The Scorpions? how dare you? That was my first ever concert.(new haven coliseum, 1985). I still smile when I hear "No One Like You."
Actually, the metal-bashing around here is getting a bit gratuitous. look at insonyuks rather classist "burger-flipper" comment. I like metal(along with literally tons of other kinds of music from John Prine to Captain Beefheart) and while I've flipped my share of burgers, I also hold down a good jod, read omnivorously and can discourse on a variety of subjects. Besides, isn't working class anger a big part of why rock-n-roll exists in the first place.
I hereby offer myself(toots own horn) and Chuck Klosterman's Book Fargo Rock City as evidence that heavy metal fans are not the morons of popular stereotype.
posted by jonmc at 10:26 AM on January 11, 2002

can cher be a band? she's pretty bad.
posted by panopticon at 10:30 AM on January 11, 2002

i have to say i like P.O.D. they're like sXe rap metal! but yeah, their new album is pretty crap.
posted by kliuless at 10:33 AM on January 11, 2002

i'm so happy to have this thread so that i can spew one of my strongest held opinions:

fred durst, and by extension limp bizkit (sp?) is the worst thing to EVER happen to rock and roll. they are a bunch of morons, not tough enough to fight, not smart enough to make a difference, not interesting enough to matter - but they do, somehow. fred durst ruined rock and roll. in his dumb play boy mansion wanna be rage against the machine, lame ass rapping rocking loserdome.
i detest him.
posted by goneill at 10:36 AM on January 11, 2002

I know everything sucks (yeah)
and this is gonna be the last time you hear me complain.
posted by David Dark at 10:37 AM on January 11, 2002

I agree with the guy who said that mediocre is worse than bad. For instance, Grand Funk Railroad wasn't really BAD in the sense that they were noisily unlistenable (like some other 60s bands. The Godz, for instance). They were just nothing. An annoying waste of time. Kind of like Dave Matthews.
posted by Faze at 10:37 AM on January 11, 2002

The Goo Goo Dolls are the Michael Bolton of our time.
posted by troybob at 10:37 AM on January 11, 2002

I hate creed too, but how likely is it, really, that the worst band of all time is one that happens to be big right now? how many couple-hit wonders were there in the seventies that we've all completely forgotten about now? hopefully in twenty years or so no one will remember creed either.
posted by rabi at 10:41 AM on January 11, 2002

amen, jonmc. There's a dickhead music critic here in Cleveland named Jason Bracelin. He writes for one of the free weeklies, Scene or Free Times I can never remember, and he always reviews the metal albums and concerts. This suggests, suggests, mind you, that he listens to and can identify with that sort of music. But he constantly disses any metal fan as a long-hear wearing, case-of-beer-a-day drinking, convenience-store working loser.

I listen to all kinds of heavy metal. I make $30K working in an office. I have a college degree. I bake. Bread, that is. I hate the metal-bashing stereotype.
posted by starvingartist at 10:42 AM on January 11, 2002

jonmc, i was a big scorpions fan at that time, too. unfortunately i lived on the other side of the iron curtain, so i couldn't see them and i had not much access to better music. however, what they are doing now is just embarrassing.
posted by arf at 10:46 AM on January 11, 2002

i didn't say i like creed...i do like devo, yes. I have listened to every song they ever made. I once cut the sleeves of of a black turtleneck. I owned a vespa for many years before even driving a car. Always wanted a devo hat to wear. Is that worse than tiger-striped spandex and permed hair? [equally bad perhaps]
I don't mean to bash metal, i have great respect great music, and there is great music scattered in ACDC, Kiss, Iron Maiden, the Scorpians, Def Leopard...Important music. Great Music. I was mainly bashing the weak, neon-infested glam rocker ballads of the mid 80's...thats all. Michael Bolton with louder guitars.

as far as christian rock apologists go...i always hope that a certain percentage of the money that those bands bring in goes into the pockets of vice: booze, sex, drugs, twisted sister CD's. If not by the bands themselves, then by their crew, producers, promoters etc...it makes me feel better. I hope that their groupies give them blow jobs and really bad sex*. I hope their security guys get laid by nice christian girls trying to get backstage, and that teenagers lose their virginity while their favorite song is on Repeat. That is my fervent hope and wish for Creedishnish.

*bad sex does not mean unprotected sex. please wear a condom.
posted by th3ph17 at 10:47 AM on January 11, 2002

oh great, i've made two posts on MeFi so far and they're both about the shaggs. goodness, i wouldn't want to get typecast. maybe i can turn this into a gimmick. every post i make from now on will contain a shaggs reference.

LFO

i sincerely hope you mean these people [oops, pop-up alert], and not the true creators, otherwise i'll scream.
posted by nylon at 10:47 AM on January 11, 2002

So far this thread mostly covers the worst bands of the last five years. The worst band of all time is surely among this list of 80's disasters: Milli Vanilli, Vanilla Ice, Morris Day and the Time, Prince, Debbie Gibson, Culture Club and all their many clones whose names I no longer can recall.
posted by plaino at 10:48 AM on January 11, 2002

The First Edition. Kenny Rogers was in it, for dog's sake.
posted by donpardo at 10:49 AM on January 11, 2002

Twisted Sister
Slade
Culture Club

Those are my nominees, but what the hell do I know, I love Devo (Time Out For Fun!)
posted by vito90 at 10:49 AM on January 11, 2002

Jeez, obvously none of you people have ever heard the Captain and Tenille sing "Muskrat Love" or "Love Will Keep us Together." Otherwise, this thread would've been a lot shorter.
posted by agaffin at 10:51 AM on January 11, 2002

Kenny G, Yanni, David Hasselhoff and John Tesh* are the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

The fact that combined, they have sold millions of albums dooms all of mankind to a deserved fiery end.

_{*Yes, yes, I know, they aren't "bands" but still......the horror......}
posted by thewittyname at 10:54 AM on January 11, 2002

Hmm...

How about the band with the song that goes, "I know who I want to take me home" over and over and over in the chorus? Semisonic? True lyrical genius, there.

Any of the goddamn bands with numbers in their names are pretty awful as well. As are pretty much all nu-metal and bubble-gum pop groups. The problem here is that there are way too many god-awful musicians that sell albums by the truckload to count. And, like others have said, it's all way subjective anyway, so why bother? My point being that every band but the Pixies is the worst band of all time. Or something.

And Fred Durst and P. Diddy are truly some of the worst human beings of all time.
posted by andnbsp at 10:55 AM on January 11, 2002

Classist shmlassist. I'm not bashing metal bands that are genuine. But bands like KoRn put up this really aggressive front.. they act "tough" and their music implies this. It's stupid, because they aren't. At least the gangster rappers have actually comitted the crimes they sing about. Fred Durst was a tattoo artist before his musical career, and he puts up this big tough "ghetto fabulous" front. I find it annoying.
posted by insomnyuk at 10:56 AM on January 11, 2002

Um, Hello? Thread for a mister Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson, please come claim your title.
posted by fnirt at 10:58 AM on January 11, 2002

I am so glad somebody mentioned The Godz. *groan*

Oh, and Live sucks just as hard as Creed does. So there.

(And as much as I hate to say it, the Slipknot record "Iowa" is actually pretty damned good.....and I thought I HATED gimmicky nu-metal. Helluva drummer.)

To summarize this thread: Insincerity sucks, but not as hard as sincerity in the service of bombast. Stupidity sucks. Talentlessness doesn't suck, as long as you can write decent songs. Musicianship that's just wanking sucks. Selling out sucks. Being pretentious and indie sucks. All boy bands suck. If it's ever come out of your car radio, it probably sucks.

But I just remembered! Who sucks the worst! (This is going to tick off soooo many indie hipsters) Will Oldham, aka Bonnie Prince Billy, aka Palace Bros, aka Palace Songs, aka Palace SUX SUX SUX.

Deliberately lame, obscurist pseudo-intellectual CRAP that's lifted note-for-note from Slint (where were they on Spin's list? What a great band). Rip-off rip-off rip-off. I hate this guy's music so much!!!!! I guess because all my arty-farty friends keep trying to get me to like it because it's so damn unapproachable that they figure it must be cool.

And I saw him live once. *shudder*
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:59 AM on January 11, 2002

Creed takes the vocabulary and lyrical structure of a 5th grade girls love poem and merges it with recycled hi-fi rock rifs.
posted by bryanzera at 11:00 AM on January 11, 2002

Taking a step down from the major mainstream suckage that is Creed, I nominate Canada's next attempt to spread crap throughout the world - Sum 41. They were awful before their mainstream success and are even worse now.
posted by lostbyanecho at 11:01 AM on January 11, 2002

The Worst of The Worst
posted by johnjreeve at 11:02 AM on January 11, 2002

Classist shmlassist. I'm not bashing metal bands that are genuine.

Fair enough, and a lot of the bands you slagged, I admit suck. But Disturbed and Godsmack(although I don't like "Voodoo" either but "Keep Away" rocks) are pretty good. So are System of A Down. Perhaps we need another Metallica to save metal the way they did back in the 80's.There's a thriving metal(and I don't mean that lameass rap-metal or that weird-ass satan-metal stuff either) underground. At one point I thought Machine Head would rise from it and save the genre. As of now the 2 best candidates are Nile and Neurosis-both 100% dj&ghetto fabulous free;)
posted by jonmc at 11:05 AM on January 11, 2002

I'm happy to be in the minority on this thread. I've seen Creed, Korn, Disturbed and Godsmack in concert and I really enjoyed them all.

The worst bands of all-time for me are all the bands I don't listen to.
posted by munger at 11:05 AM on January 11, 2002

I like Scorps and Collective Soul, but I can see why others might not. as for Creed, after thinking about this a bit, I've come to a conclusion that I'd rather have Creed be at the top of the chart than say Limp Bizkit or Nysnc.
posted by riffola at 11:05 AM on January 11, 2002

sorry for the commercial nature of my last shaggs link, but i knew there were sound clips on the site. here is the wonderful and official shaggs online site. it has great pictures and biographies and stuff. also available is an unofficial page, featuring more sound clips.

there. i maintain my 100% shaggs reference record.
posted by nylon at 11:09 AM on January 11, 2002

I think Radiohead blows big time.
posted by owillis at 11:19 AM on January 11, 2002

If mediocre is a possible standard, could there be worse than ASIA? Steve Howe on guitar, and they still suck.
posted by Wulfgar! at 11:20 AM on January 11, 2002

What about Portishead? Pretty stink-a-wiff.
posted by Hugh2d2 at 11:21 AM on January 11, 2002

I think Radiohead blows big time.

Well they don't quite blow per se. But I agree they're definitely overrated.
posted by jonmc at 11:21 AM on January 11, 2002

The thing that bugs me about Creed is that there are young people growing up who are being given the mistaken impression that since Creed (and all the other bland, inoffensive alterna-crap bands) is on top of the charts, then it must be what good music is.

Metaphorically speaking, it's like feeding pigs apples, then switching them to apple cores, then rotting meat parts and then finally feeding them their own waste. It's Orwellian. If enough people tell you that what sucks is good for long enough, it's going to pervert your ability to appreciate good music. And we desperately need someone, somewhere, to start buying good music, because what's selling these days blows.
posted by websavvy at 11:22 AM on January 11, 2002

80's disasters: Milli Vanilli, Vanilla Ice, Morris Day and the Time, Prince, Debbie Gibson, Culture Club

I am not a huge fan, but Prince does not deserve to be grouped in with the rest of these "disasters"

The real disasters of the 80's, a decade with more than it's fair share or horrid bands, were the hair bands:

Ratt
Poison
Winger
Whitesnake
Dokken
Cinderella

I could go on and on but you get the picture...vapid without a lick or irony.
posted by tdstone at 11:22 AM on January 11, 2002

of irony.
posted by tdstone at 11:23 AM on January 11, 2002

The question is, why? If they're all so bad, why are they so popular?

Part of the reason they're hated so much is because they're so popular. When I was a kid, I hated madonna more than her annoying little nasal self was due, because so many of my peers were so clueless - it made me angry and I directed the anger back to her (and the rest of the top 40 crap).
posted by mdn at 11:24 AM on January 11, 2002

i'm with bop on the live thing. i remember them coming out and sort of taking music and putting it back in the hands of people who previously listened to the eagles and brown eyed girl over and over again.
posted by goneill at 11:24 AM on January 11, 2002

typos concerning irony are always the most ironic.
posted by th3ph17 at 11:25 AM on January 11, 2002

If mediocre is a possible standard, could there be worse than ASIA?

Um, time for another disclosure. My first band t-shirt was a black t-shirt with an Asia iron-on purchased at the mall when I was in 6th grade. The next one was a Rush iron-on. I still love Rush and "Heat of the Moment" still sounds kinda cool in a nostalgic way.

PS- for all you Devo fans out there. mrs.jonmc stands by her condemnation and I am behind her 100%
posted by jonmc at 11:26 AM on January 11, 2002

Cure? Smiths? Blue Cheer?

DEVO?

Holy SHIT. I could seriously jump through my monitor right now and kill some people. Jonmc, you may want to consider getting a new girlfriend. I am serious. My jaw is on the floor.

All of the above listed bands are incredibly essential and influential. Every last one of them all but invented a genre that in some small way changed the face of popular music.

I should have never come into this thread. Now my blood is boiling.
posted by glenwood at 11:26 AM on January 11, 2002

The Beatles.
Time will tell, you watch.
posted by dong_resin at 11:26 AM on January 11, 2002

In my opinion Creed is the worst, successful band out there today (and by "band," I mean they play instruments).
I hate Live very much also, although their popularity seems to be dwindling.
posted by uftheory at 11:28 AM on January 11, 2002

This thread is being discussed in MeTa.
posted by riffola at 11:29 AM on January 11, 2002

glenwood-

mrs.jonmc wishes to amend her comments about Devo fans. She loves you all and thinks you deserve the same rights as normal humans.
posted by jonmc at 11:30 AM on January 11, 2002

me thinks me doth smell a rat, me thinks dong resin, is trolling.

devo is an amazing band. jonmc and mrs.jonmc should leave now. the cure were amazing and should have been in the spin list, and the smiths are great too.

i am a legend in my own mind, and I alone know what is good and what isn't.

and oh, neurosis's first seven inch (aforementioned) was really good, but there is no way that someone who listens to fred durst would ever think so. they do use samples, i believe.

oh, and fred durst 6 years ago kissed my 14 year old sister in the mid hudson civic center.
nu-metal = bad
posted by goneill at 11:32 AM on January 11, 2002

I'm not trolling. I sincerely dislike the Beatles.
posted by dong_resin at 11:34 AM on January 11, 2002

oh, and fred durst 6 years ago kissed my 14 year old sister in the mid hudson civic center.

goneill, I think they have support groups for that.
posted by jonmc at 11:36 AM on January 11, 2002

I agree on the Radiohead bit. I think they're terribly overrated and Really Bad. They're good backround noise.
posted by tomorama at 11:36 AM on January 11, 2002

mrs.jonmc does like the smiths and the cure though...she just hates Devo. Now you've done it...you're causing domestic friction ;)
posted by jonmc at 11:38 AM on January 11, 2002

pet shop boys. just typing the name made me shudder.
posted by spunkster at 11:42 AM on January 11, 2002

I listened to music in the eighties that I hate now. I listen to music now that I hated in the eighties.

To each his (her) own I say. If you ask ten thousand people this question, you might get ten thousand different answers.
posted by fakenamex at 11:44 AM on January 11, 2002

the 80's was just a bad decade for everybody.
posted by spunkster at 11:46 AM on January 11, 2002

I third the Radiohead thing. I just can't get into them at all. I don't think they're bad, they're just not as fantastic or groundbreaking as the mainstream press (and even the alternative press) touts them as being. As for worst band of all time, though, they're not even close.

BTW, anyone else catch Mariah Carey's episode of MTV's Cribs? I noticed that there is not a single piece of musical equipment in the entire house. I'm sure that the same could be said about most top 40 pop bands these days.

the 80's was just a bad decade for everybody.

Wrong.
posted by eyeballkid at 11:51 AM on January 11, 2002

Somewhere out there, there are dozens of fansites devoted to Creed. Those poor little girls...

Then again, I'd say dig_duggler was baiting with his slam in the post. Creed can't be the worst _ever_ -- they're too new. There have got to be worse. Have you ever head The Meatmen? Spice Girls?

I'm not going to venture a guess at who's worst, but I would think that mediocrity is a more fitting damnation. And for the title of most mediocre rock band (not including numetal or pop), I nominate The Smithereens.
posted by me3dia at 11:52 AM on January 11, 2002

Does anyone here remember hearing (or remember playing in) a band called Mind Funk?
posted by bryanzera at 12:01 PM on January 11, 2002

Berlin
posted by donovan at 12:06 PM on January 11, 2002

Starving Artist:

Jason Bracelin is simply unreadable. Every single one of his columns has been nothing more than written masturbation.

And I bet he does it to a picture of himself.
posted by xena at 12:18 PM on January 11, 2002

I can't say that I don't vehemently disagree with some of you, but there are a few bands being woefully underlooked.

Not to mention you have to define a "band". Does New Kids On The Block count? They didn't play instruments, but I'd nominate them if I could. Second choice would be Guns N Roses in any mutation, because while the music was sometimes ok (in that "devil horns" salute piss off your parents sort of a way), Axl and his unequalled banshee wailing ruined like, all of their songs. BTW, does Milli Vanilli even count at all? It wasn't actually them, remember? I'd also vote for Captain & Tenille since I was forced to endure them at the State Fair once. I'm still in therapy for that...

The other thing to think about is that just because you don't like them doesn't mean they suck. I don't particularly enjoy country music but I don't think it's crap. OTOH, I bought a Hansen single and really enjoyed it, knowing full well it was shite (and only $1) but I just didn't care. I like quite a few bands that are by no means profound or earth-shattering or whatever it is that a band has to be so they're considered 'good'. I break out my Sir Mix-A-Lot CD from time to time and I've put more than a few miles on my New Monkees (not a new album from the Monkees, a band called New Monkees. I know.) CD as well. But then, I really like Neil Diamond and Depeche Mode and Soundgarden and Tool and Underworld, too. So, you know, do with THAT information what you will.
posted by verso at 12:19 PM on January 11, 2002

jonmc, Devo? The worst? Oh no. Devo is the epitome of punk rock. I think it was Henry Rollins who said, There are two types of people in the world, those who 'get' Devo and those who don't. Please do not tell me you don't, brother. Especially after our touching rock moments from yesterday's thread. You should really check out "Beautiful World" by the spudboys.

I would like to nominate Mudvayne. Who have taken the complete and utter lack of talent exhibited by such losers as Korn, Limp Bizkit, and Creed to a new, much higher level.
posted by Vek at 12:20 PM on January 11, 2002

After working in record stores for years and years, I know that musical taste is pretty much entirely subjective. That said, I hate Foreigner. And Yes. And Led Zeppelin. I may cut the latter two a little slack, but none goes to Foreigner, pompous overblown twaddleheads.

jonmc - I suggest you check out Clawhammer's cover of the Are We Not Men? We Are DEVO! record...(yep, they covered the whole record). DEVO were clever songwriters...but that Whip It song kind of throws people off.
posted by kittyloop at 12:22 PM on January 11, 2002

This thread isn't about Worst Bands. It's about Bands That Piss People Off.
posted by witchstone at 12:27 PM on January 11, 2002

vek(since i respect your opinions) and kittyloop(since you are a fellow connecticut native(email me where, if you've worked in record stores we've probably crossed paths) I will give Devo a second chance, but only if you agree to give Twisted Sister a second chance, they were more Alice Cooper-type glam than Poison-type glam and there is some wit in thier songs to go with the great catchy choruses. I've always said that punk and metal are a lot closer to eachother than people like to admit. But to restore peace I will reevaluate Devo.
posted by jonmc at 12:32 PM on January 11, 2002

Hey, I *like* Twisted Sister.
posted by Vek at 12:44 PM on January 11, 2002

Devo? Typical...(shaking head)

Now, now, the correct way to put it IMHO, is that you don't get Devo.There fuckin' pure genuis as far as I'm concerned and if you never got to see them live, you really missed something special.Devo are the only band I've ever seen/heard that was truly original.

Frank Zappa suffered from the same thing.He was just too smart and too talented for most people to grasp.When you have that much to offer, people get confused.We're used to crap.

Creed isn't so much a bad band, they're just so contrived it's repulsive and that pompous religion thing doesn't help.I think people see Creed's success and fear that we're about to be overrun by a bunch of goverment sponsered Jesus Rock bands.Yikes, can you just imagine that?

The worst, uh, "music", I've ever heard is about 98.5% of the hip hop I've ever heard.I dig DMC and NWA and some other old-school stuff but someone should have cut the head off of that monster after Dre's The Chronic in '92.That's as good as it's gonna get, leave it alone.Is there really any reason for shit like Busta Rhymes to exist?
posted by BarneyFifesBullet at 12:45 PM on January 11, 2002

jonmc,

I think that every single band in this thread (including Twisted Sister) are at least mildly interesting and worthwhile. All of them, that is, except for Creed.

Rock and roll, for me, growing up anyways, was about discovery. Going to the record store and wondering what was this thing called 'The Descendents', buying every record I could get my mits on, from Run DMC King of Rock, the Led Zeppelin II, to Def Lepard, to Sgt Pepper, Minor Threat, Kurtis Blow, the Who, Metallica....
seeing Devo on SNL damn near changed my life in a 3 minute time span.

Creed represents everything about music that has taken away the discovery element. Everything is so packaged, so written to the very lowest common denominator of rock opera over-dramatized guitar music, performed by people who would have beaten me up in high school, and then crammed into every playlist until you have no choice but to know all the embarassingly obvious soul-searching poetry they try to pass of as lyrical content. And then everyone says it's deep. *sigh*

But you know, if you like it, you like it. I have my share of guilty pleasures.
posted by glenwood at 12:53 PM on January 11, 2002

Barney,
Please do yourself a favor and go purchase the new Freestyle Fellowship, Aceyalone, Dilated Peoples records. Trying to find the good hip hop on the radio is about as fruitless as trying to find the good ANYTHING on the radio.
posted by glenwood at 12:57 PM on January 11, 2002

The following artists, who have been mentioned here, are empirically not among the worst ever: the Smiths, the Cure, Prince, Devo.

I think what we're actually talking about is who are the worst bands, that lots of people actually liked. How about the Partridge Family?

Worst guitar rock: Ted Nugent?

Worst 80s hair band: Twisted Sister? Stryper?

Worst 70s band: BTO?

Worst 90s boy band: 98 degrees?

Worst pop band has to be Milli Vanilli. Has to be.

Where do you put GWAR or GG Allin?
posted by jpoulos at 1:02 PM on January 11, 2002

glenwood- add Princess Superstar and Ant-Pop Consortium to your list of good hip-hoppers(PS's "Bad Babysitter" is one of the most raunchily funny things I've heard in a while.) Plus from what I know of Creed's background Staap, at least, took his share of beatings in highschool too.
posted by jonmc at 1:03 PM on January 11, 2002

ah jeez. me3dia I wasn't baiting, I honestly think they're the worst. not the most annoying or overplayed or anything. the worst. If I could do this thread over I would keep my opinion out of it until a few people had posted, that's what I did on my only other thread. A band (in my humble opinion) is not just limited to the music, but the performance and how they act. Their pr, everything is the band . The greateful dead weren't the dead just b/c of their music. I like a lot of stuff. I have guilty pleasures. But everytime I hear Creed I have to turn the radio, I literally can't stand it. Can't. Nobody else does it as quickly as creed, either. Yes I must flip Limp Biskit, too, but it's not as whiplashing inducingly quick as Creed. I really didn't mean to start this creed/anti-creed post. Admittedly, I added flame to the fire when I responded to earlier posts, but I asked what people thought was the worst, not do you like creed, and I felt I had to defend my anti-creed position. I realized that defending it to someone who thinks devo is one of the worst bands of all time is a lost cause.
posted by dig_duggler at 1:04 PM on January 11, 2002

i'll jump on the Devo train---
Lumping them with the Thomson Twins is pretty silly isn't it? And placing them on the level with Twisted Sister is silly too. Perhaps it's just (well deserved) 80's backlash, with "new wave" making another gasp in some underground circles.

and even if their music irritates you, you gotta admit that Devo was saying something more than "I Wanna Rock", so give them some credit, at least.

Now the Shaggs!! Where is the VH1 Special!?
posted by bluno at 1:08 PM on January 11, 2002

I realized that defending it to someone who thinks devo is one of the worst bands of all time is a lost cause.

No, it isn't! Well, it is, but only in the sense that none of this matters! Those of us who don't like Devo, simply don't like Devo! Why does that make us musically illiterate or something like that? Borderline-elitist statements like that, and like the ones from glenwood a few posts up are what I absolutely hate about these discussions.

MetaFilter: You're wrong! No, you're wrong!
posted by starvingartist at 1:13 PM on January 11, 2002

and even if their music irritates you, you gotta admit that Devo was saying something more than "I Wanna Rock", so give them some credit, at least.

bluno- i've agreed to give Devo another shot. And TS were saying more than "I Wanna Rock." Dee Snider had a better sense of humor than anyone else in the hair-metal pack as their videos illustrate, actually the argument could be made that along with Motorhead, the Ramones and Suicidal Tendencies, TS are one of the missing links between punk and metal. I mean any band that redoes a Beach Boys song as "Be Chrool to Your School" whith Brian Setzer and the memphis Horns on the track deserves a little credit. ;)

PS I want a Shaggs special too. Foot Foot lives!!
posted by jonmc at 1:17 PM on January 11, 2002

A little late, but...

"Have you ever listened to anything more than "Whip It"?"

Um...yes. "Whip It" is the only song by them I could find that I liked. There's a reason they're only well known for one song, people =P Of course, I only listened to two songs before deciding not to use my bandwidth on them anymore. Maybe I just picked two bad ones.

I wouldn't call them the worst ever, though. I would much rather listen to Devo than... I dunno, rap. Any rap.

Of course, I like Creed and Mudvayne and Linkin Park, so feel free to ignore me.
posted by CrayDrygu at 1:22 PM on January 11, 2002

Pet Shop Boys
Hey! I like the Pet Shop Boys. You know, reading this thread just snaps me back into high school mode. Everthing about the 80s was so cliquish. Punks, Stoners, and Metal Heads, oh my!

But anyway, to get on topic, how about bands that thought that were derivative of Depeche Mode (a band that I like). I can't remember right now, but what was that band that had "The Great Commandment" as a hit?
posted by eckeric at 1:28 PM on January 11, 2002

I would much rather listen to Devo than... I dunno, rap. Any rap.

See, now that's the problem. Just because you don't like to listen to something doesn't mean it isn't good. I listen to very little classical music. I hate that there's no rhythm section. :-) That doesn't mean that Mozart wasn't any good.

Believe it or not, there is good rap. And good country. And good classical. And good devo.
posted by jpoulos at 1:29 PM on January 11, 2002

whoever does that song with the line "you're the best soy latte that i've ever had..." is the worst band ever. period.
posted by modge at 1:32 PM on January 11, 2002

You know, reading this thread just snaps me back into high school mode. Everthing about the 80s was so cliquish. Punks, Stoners, and Metal Heads, oh my!

Seem's not much has changed since those days if this thread is any indication. Well as you age, you don't change you intensify I suppose.
posted by jonmc at 1:34 PM on January 11, 2002

starvingartist ,
1.) if you hate this so much, why did you post 6 times?
2). yes this is subjective, but so is whether glitter was a good film. i get that you hate 'elitist' statements, but why do they have best of lists? award shows? as much as you want to say it is all subjective, it really isn't. some things are better than others, even if you don't like them, even if i don't like them. Ishtar really was a horrible movie. Devo really was a great and influential band. I don't like U2. Never have. But I recognize they are a great band, based on the number of artists who have listed them as influence, their popular endurance over a decade, and for christ's sake that many people over that long amount of time with that many albums can't be entirely wrong. Not just sales. There are numerous bands that list Devo as influence, and we'll see if in years Creed, Third Eye Blind, etc. gets a shout out in the liner notes.
posted by dig_duggler at 1:34 PM on January 11, 2002

Guys, at the top of the thread, starvingartist said:

"I hate Devo's music. I like some of Creed's stuff. I like some of Collective Soul's stuff. I think "Secret Samadhi" is the worst Live album they could possibly have produced, but I really like the rest of their stuff. I also like Slayer, Moxy Fruvous, and I still love Warrant."

Anyone who could make a statement like this is beyond help and cannot be reasoned with.
posted by tcobretti at 1:47 PM on January 11, 2002

dig_duggler (points for the name, btw):

Threads such as "what's your favorite beer" or "who's your favorite band" are ok - sort of trivial, but ok. It's a positive thing. You get a lot of ideas about what to try. A thread that starts out with "which band sucks the most", and then proceeds to tell us without waiting for response, seems pointless to the nth degree. Nobody's going to agree and go, "Oh, yeah, you're right. They are the worst. Well, I guess that's settled." It's a lot easier to get worked up about something you hate than something you like a lot (or even love). Plus, and this is just a personal thing, if I really like a band, and then someone in a peer group that I respect comes around tells me "Oh, man, they suck! They're awful! What are you doing listening to them?", what does that say about that person's opinion of me? Probably nothing, but that little voice in the back of my head wonders.
posted by starvingartist at 1:51 PM on January 11, 2002

Anyone who could make a statement like this is beyond help and cannot be reasoned with.

See? WTF? I rest my case.
posted by starvingartist at 1:52 PM on January 11, 2002

> There are numerous bands that list Devo as influence,
> and we'll see if in years Creed, Third Eye Blind, etc. gets
> a shout out in the liner notes.

Talking Heads honcho David Byrne has explicitly listed The 1910 Fruitgum Company as a major influence, so there may indeed be hope for groups like the ones you list, at least as far as future influence goes. What this shows is that a genuinely creative person can listen to schlock and hear more than is actually there.
posted by jfuller at 1:52 PM on January 11, 2002

Counting Crows.
posted by Vek at 1:57 PM on January 11, 2002

Without question, The Offspring. Makes me wish I were never born.

How about Anthrax?

Bow Wow Wow?
posted by Succa at 2:14 PM on January 11, 2002

starvingartist
ugh last post. i quit.
anyway... if you see, earlier I did state I wish I wouldn't have blurted out my opinion to begin with in the main post. It skewed things in a manner i did not intend. it was a mistake. one that was made yesterday as well with the best of list, as well as almost every single what-do-you guys-think post.
As much as you want this to be an anti-someone post, it was not. and for the most part, most of these replies aren't. It's what i was after. Just as it's interesting to see what people like, it's fun to see what people hate. vek up there hates counting crowes. I never would have thought a lot of people hate devo. lots hate current music, 80's music etc. I wanted to know this. it's fun. and then it got bastardized. so i went with it. it's what is is. it's still pretty fun, you gotta admit. gave you something to do on and off all day. and something you can probably talk about tonight with your friends. just like a college football playoff system.. but i digress.
posted by dig_duggler at 2:16 PM on January 11, 2002

Serves me right for not getting up earlier. The Shaggs was a great pick.

How about the Osmonds?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:16 PM on January 11, 2002

I forgot to mention C & C Music Factory. I guess they're pretty forgettable, eh? (except in my nightmares)
posted by Karl at 2:19 PM on January 11, 2002

Ooooo... The Offspring "Makes me wish I were never born." Me too. Another outstandingly terrible choice.
posted by Vek at 2:25 PM on January 11, 2002

I saw Godsmack live and they actually put on a hell of a show. I've always hated KoRn, but i at least respected them as an underground hit. Once they sold out to the radio, they want straight down the shitter. Freak on a Leesh? absolutely horid. Limp Bizkit blows...Kid Rock as at least can play every insrument in his band (love him or hate him, he actually has musical knowledge). But, c'mone...Mili Valnili (sp?) is the worst. Fred Durst at least (well, so we think) sings his crap.
posted by jmd82 at 2:27 PM on January 11, 2002

I saw Godsmack live and they actually put on a hell of a show. I've always hated KoRn, but i at least respected them as an underground hit. Once they sold out to the radio, they want straight down the shitter. Freak on a Leesh? absolutely horid. Limp Bizkit blows...Kid Rock as at least can play every insrument in his band (love him or hate him, he actually has musical knowledge). But, c'mone...Mili Vanili (sp?) is the worst. Fred Durst at least (well, so we think) sings his crap.
posted by jmd82 at 2:27 PM on January 11, 2002

I just remembered "Wham!" Boy what a bunch of shit. George Michael was a good singer but his talent was totally wasted in that band.

The band of least consequence that I know is "Coroner" - Never heard of it? - That's because they are a mediocre swiss death metal band. They've made several utterly uninspired albums. By comparison, "Napalm Death" is/was one of the most innovative death metal bands after "Death" which I think was probably the trail blazer of the genre. "King Diamond" of course was the worst of death metal - but still very consequential, unfortunately. Anyway, I can't stand any of that music now that I'm not a teenager anymore...but I'd still prefer Coroner to any rap or country.
posted by plaino at 3:06 PM on January 11, 2002

Swiss death metal?

I'm cringing just thinking of it.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:13 PM on January 11, 2002

Wow, it does my heart glad to see so many people standing up for Devo. Fellow spudboys might be interested to know that it's not too late to buy an energy dome at Club Devo if they are so inclined. Now I'm going out to eliminate the ninnies and the twits.
posted by MegoSteve at 3:21 PM on January 11, 2002

Swiss death metal?

I'm cringing just thinking of it.
Why? Swedish Black Metal is the finest there is.
posted by thirteen at 3:59 PM on January 11, 2002

Out of idle curiosity: why do many people hate The Offspring so virulently? I'm no gigantor-strength uber-fan of theirs or anything, and some of their offerings are lackluster enough... but actively hateworthy? I just don't get it. (I eagerly await any clue-by-fours that folks might be willing to swing in my direction.)
posted by youhas at 4:16 PM on January 11, 2002

and there is always fake austrian death metal as well.
posted by th3ph17 at 4:20 PM on January 11, 2002

I'll do this top ten style just 'cuz I like the challenge:

10. Bauhaus
9. Brian Setzer Orchestra (Mr. Schaeffer, meet Mr. Severinsen)
8. Nelson
7. The Moody Blues (for being the first to collaborate with a symphony orchestra)
6. Air Supply
5. Whitesnake
4. Herman's Hermits
3. Stars on 45
2. Chicago

and ... drum roll please ...

1. Journey
posted by argybarg at 4:25 PM on January 11, 2002

Blink 182 is not one of the worst, but for some reason they make me want to me punch myself in the nuts. Creed sucks, admit it. Also, I bought a Five for Fighting CD as a dress rehearsal for the hari-kari I will be committing upon listeining to the next Limp Bizkit album. One more--the Zack, the newly-departed singer from Rage Against the Machine (once a kick ass band) will now suck since he no longer has Tom Morello (the grand-poobah of angry rock) to make a man of him. Now he'll just be another pissed off guy that sounds like a whole family of magpies when he sings.
posted by dr_emory at 4:54 PM on January 11, 2002

"Blink 182 is not one of the worst, but for some reason they make me want to me punch myself in the nuts."

Whatever you do, stop listening to them immediately.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:02 PM on January 11, 2002

Since nobody's mentioned them yet, I cast my vote for the Starland Vocal Band. It was because pop had sunk this low that punk had to happen.

Speaking of Devo, they were much more a "New Wave" band than a "punk" band. No true punk band ever made synthetic sounds. (And whether or not I ever "got" them, their concept was always more enjoyable to me than their music. Sort of like Human Sexual Response and the host of other sophomorically clever "art" bands of the late 70s.)
posted by macrone at 5:50 PM on January 11, 2002

Some years ago, Rolling Stone said something about Kiss that cracked me up (I paraphrase, since I can't remember the exact words): "Sure, Kiss sucks, but they've sucked for so long that they deserve our respect."

Yeah, a lot of the one-hit-wonder groups were awful, but the groups that stick around forever on the radio and still suck deserve a special place in pop/rock hell. I'm thinking mostly of Yes, Foreigner and Kenny Loggins.

I never saw a Grateful Dead show, so I don't think it'd be fair for me to include them, but the most talent-free song I've ever heard on the radio was a version of "Uncle John's Band" or "Uncle John's Farm" or whatever it's called. They couldn't sing, the harmonies were painful, they couldn't play; what a disaster.

And where the pie slice was missing was, it turned out, a drawing of what's between a woman's thighs.

I once stumbled across that album in a used-record store in Portland, Ore. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. But as I recall, the woman in the picture looked like a 20-something vixen, with her tongue sticking out in a rather suggestive way.
posted by diddlegnome at 6:23 PM on January 11, 2002

Ok everybody, watch closely cos you'll probably never see this happen again. After promising to reassess Devo, I drove down to the local Borders and put "Are We Not Men?" on the listening station. I admit it, "Uncontrollble Urge(?)" the opening track was pretty good and so was "Jocko Homo." I'll still never be a big fan but it's definitely NOT the worst thing I've ever heard. SO ONE HELPING OF CROW FOR JONMC PLEASE!
I'm still waiting for those Twisted Sister reassessmnets.;)
posted by jonmc at 6:43 PM on January 11, 2002

johnmc: that rocks.
posted by jpoulos at 7:32 PM on January 11, 2002

Duran Duran.
posted by treywhit at 7:32 PM on January 11, 2002

Oh, yeah, standin' up for Devo.This thread isn't the first time I've had to do that.Glad to do it.

Hey, I'll stand up for Twisted Sister right now.They were and still are a lot of fun.I've got a freshly burned cd of them from an old cassette of a gig from their early club days in NY.It's about 90% Ozzy/Priest/Sabbath/ACDC covers in front of a bunch of Long Island drunks with Dee giving them the Lee Ving treatment.Classic.

BTW, smack Fred Durst, if you like.(flash site)
posted by BarneyFifesBullet at 8:17 PM on January 11, 2002

Two words: Wyld Stallyns.
posted by verdezza at 9:56 PM on January 11, 2002

Two words: Wyld Stallyns.

Despite the continued presence in this thread of Twisted Sister, I think we're talking mostly about real bands in here.

Still, Verdezza's post allows me to plug "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" as one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.

*I know, Twisted Sister is or was a real band. I just wish it weren't.*
posted by diddlegnome at 10:04 PM on January 11, 2002

I saw DEVO do "Uncontrollable Urge" on Don Kirshner's Rock Concert when I was in grade 8. The energy of their performance blasted my adolescent ass across the room. I had no idea what these guys were up to, but I knew it was worth investigating.

I have a theory that appreciating a band is like climbing a mountain. If you approach it from the wrong angle, it's too much of a jump and you can't do it. If you're evaluating DEVO, you might want to check out "Come Back Jonee" or "The Day My Baby Gave Me A Surprise".
posted by websavvy at 11:54 PM on January 11, 2002

"What do you want to do with your life?" "I wanna ROCK!"

...You gotta admit, that was one of the funniest lines in music video history, so Twisted Sister can't be all bad.

Someone up there mentioned Nelson. That's a good start.

But really, if you dive into the bargain bin at a large music store, you'll find hundreds among thousands of terrible bands with terrible music. No one band can be worse than the rest, really.

Except for New Kids on the Block. They were the worst.
posted by Down10 at 12:11 AM on January 12, 2002

The guy who owned and and ran the first incarnation of a swell bar in Vancouver called 'The Cruel Elephant', in which me and my friends wasted many an evening in the mid-eighties, had a f**k band (ie a play-around band that is more about getting on stage and having fun than anything else - often composed of members of other 'real' bands) called "Jeff".

Every Jeff song had a single word as it's entire lyrical content (prefiguring South Park's Timmy - a very strange coincidence) - that word, naturally, was "Jeff".

They were the worst band ever to exist in this dimension, but simultaneously the stuff of legends.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:07 AM on January 12, 2002

jonmc, I am so proud of you (wipes away tear).
posted by Vek at 8:28 AM on January 12, 2002

How could I have forgotten Duran Duran? Absolutely right, treywit -- they even displace Journey on my list. Worst ever.
posted by argybarg at 10:23 AM on January 12, 2002

Guys, have you all forgotten about Reigndance? Andre's band from the first MTV Real World. They may win the award for stupidest band name as well.

Andre's new band: MiLkWeeD

I bet they rock.
posted by tcobretti at 10:51 AM on January 12, 2002

starship.
posted by jaded at 11:50 AM on January 12, 2002

I swore I wasn't even going to read this thread, but finally I just had to. And no way was I going to comment.
But I kept waiting for someone to diss Bon Jovi, and I saw no mention of them, and I just can't let such a glaring omission slide by.
I've seen a lot of bands I like savaged here, but what do I care? I agree that it's totally subjective--one man's groove is another man's buzzkill--and there are way too many gawdawful bands music acts to mention, even if we narrow the scope to rock bands which have shipped a lot of product. I can't believe Bon Jovi didn't make anyone else'shit parade. [space intentionally omitted; I'm so exquisitely subtle]
PS
Thanks SDB for the Mom's Apple Pie cover art link. I still recall a couple of fragments of Rolling Stone's scathing review of this (which never found its way into my hands). "You gotta admit Terry's got balls--on a grossosity scale of 1-10, this cover rates an 11, even higher than the now-infamous Stewart's Rod..." Mom's Apple Pie was produced by Grand Funk producer Terry Knight, and speculating on the subliminal meaning of the vagina-pie, the reviewer asked, "Is he telling the public to eat shit? Wait--didn't he already do that with three young lads from Flint?"
I guess the fact that at the time I loved Grand Funk caused this to lodge in my memory; back then it would piss me off if anybody roasted bands I liked. (Later on btw Grand Funk made their best album with Frank Zappa producing-- and lending just a few guitar licks to one song. "Wisely, Zappa gave it his best pass/fail production and stepped back to let the boys work it out on their own...The result is just another thunking yawn.")
Don't make me come back in here again!
posted by StOne at 11:23 PM on January 12, 2002

Most annoying band that you'd all know?

Nirvana.

Seriously. Didn't Kurt ever learn more than two chords, how to sing properly, or how to play a guitar? Me thinks not.
posted by wackybrit at 3:26 AM on January 13, 2002

No arguments from me, wackybrit. Nirvana was another glaring omission from this thread.
posted by StOne at 9:43 AM on January 13, 2002

Didn't Kurt ever learn more than two chords, how to sing properly, or how to play a guitar?

I'll narrow the many responses I have to this staggering comment down to the mildest: If you really believe Nirvana would have been better if Kurt Cobain had sung "properly," then you and I share few musical values.

I mean, by those criteria -- not enough chords, doesn't sing "properly" -- you'd have to cross off the Ramones, Velvet Underground, Bo Diddley, James Brown, Sex Pistols, Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan -- probably every artist of great vitality in rock 'n' roll history.

What are you -- a Marillion fan? Get away from me.
posted by argybarg at 11:24 AM on January 13, 2002

jfuller:
Maybe I've missing something, but those reviews sound pretty awesome to me.
posted by ry at 2:57 PM on January 13, 2002

argybarg: I think to 'get' a band like Nirvana you have to be in tune with the social condition of the time and understand why such acts were so popular.

Now, I can understand why the Stones were so popular (and musically they're okay, hardly as dull as Nirvana).. James Brown.. and especially The Sex Pistols.. they were really about something.

But Nirvana? I seriously don't get what they were at. And I don't think Kurt really understood either, the fool shot himself. Thankfully the Pumpkins redefined rock pretty well on their own without Nirvana playing second fiddle.
posted by wackybrit at 9:29 PM on January 13, 2002

the Pumpkins redefined rock pretty well

ROFL -- oh please tell me you don't mean that.

You ARE a Marillion fan. Tell me, how are those Emerson Lake & Palmer records holding up? Listening to a lot of Brain Salad Surgery lately?
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:34 AM on January 14, 2002

Wow. Marillion. They make my list. As do Wham, BTO, ELP, and ELO. Oh, and Mannheim Steamroller. *shudder*
posted by brand-gnu at 8:07 AM on January 14, 2002

Phish [ducks]
posted by BentPenguin at 10:45 AM on January 15, 2002

KerrraNGG! Whacka-tish thud!


"Jeff!"


NyarrnnnGGG whucka whucka KErrrANG!



Maybe you had to be there.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:28 AM on January 16, 2002