On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study

August 11, 2006 11:03 AM

The Tinfoil on Tinfoil - Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.
posted by jackspace (23 comments total)

Double
posted by scottreynen at 11:06 AM on August 11, 2006

Double. Probably not caught because I didn't put the link in the proscribed place.
posted by GuyZero at 11:06 AM on August 11, 2006

You've gotta use real tin, duh!
posted by tula at 11:10 AM on August 11, 2006

Maybe the double was on purpose because they want you to think that tinfoil hats enhance certain frequencies, when in fact they don't.
I'm sure they'll conveniently make a double post again in a few months ... just wait and see.
Forforf will now conveniently don his tin foil hat ..... or maybe not??
posted by forforf at 11:14 AM on August 11, 2006

Is actual tin foil still available in this day and age?
posted by clevershark at 11:14 AM on August 11, 2006

No it isn't. They took it off the market because they know it works.
posted by jefbla at 11:17 AM on August 11, 2006

From the earlier thread...

A small, but vocal, contingent even argues that tin is superior, but they are held by most to be the lunatic fringe of Foil Deflector Beanie science. I would advise people wishing to build a Deflector Beanie to stick with aluminum whenever possible since it is a proven technology.

Plus tin foil apparently leaves a taste of tin when used on food.
posted by GuyZero at 11:19 AM on August 11, 2006

These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities.

Pffft, that's just what they want you to think so you won't wear one.
posted by Pastabagel at 11:21 AM on August 11, 2006

I would advise people wishing to build a Deflector Beanie to stick with aluminum whenever possible since it is a proven technology.

That's exactly what they want you to believe.

Suckers. If I take off my tinfoil beanie, you can clearly see that zap there are no such things as orbital mind control lasers. Really, people, foil beanies? Give me a break.
posted by eriko at 11:28 AM on August 11, 2006

This is why I made my hat from a composite of tin, aluminum and titanium. It should reflect everything, is impervious to rust, and looks neat.
posted by drezdn at 11:47 AM on August 11, 2006

At the faculty dinner for my college a few years ago I sat next to a professor who spent the entire evening telling us how "agents" were constantly bombarding her house with radio waves to force her and her mother to move out, and that the only relief she could get sometimes was to put her head in the microwave or in a "large metal box that I bought in a garage sale." Apparently she tells the same stories in class every semester.

I love my profession.
posted by LarryC at 11:49 AM on August 11, 2006

bombarding her house with radio waves

Ah, tenure. A more effective shield than any metal, heavy, precious or otherwise.
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:53 AM on August 11, 2006

For real protection, use a tinfoil beanie, and carry a jammer for those spesific frequencies around with you.
posted by delmoi at 12:11 PM on August 11, 2006

so, anyone have any idea how much I could get one of those network analyser for?
posted by killyb at 12:14 PM on August 11, 2006

In the house [via via] or out of the house, be sure to EMPP your ride, too:


posted by cenoxo at 12:26 PM on August 11, 2006

It is now my belief that there is no protection when you are doomed to a lifetime of abuse on the part of the hypno-mime mafia

I used to think it was possible. "Boy, was I hypno-misled!"
posted by illovich at 12:32 PM on August 11, 2006

Known Electronic Harassment Weapons
mp3
transcript
"There are four basic through-the-wall weapons...
The first weapon is Joseph Sharp's voice-to-skull success...
The second weapon is dr. Lowery silent sound (patent nr. 5,159,703)...
The third basic weapon is the Russian LIDA machine...
The last weapon, which is used in conjunction with the others, is through-clothing and through non-conductive-wall radar..."
posted by chowder at 12:58 PM on August 11, 2006

"Tinfoil" is one of those long-lasting but fuck-stupid misnomers. And it's also spelled "aluminium" as per IUPAC.
posted by Tube at 1:38 PM on August 11, 2006

GuyZero: you probably mean "prescribed".
posted by rbs at 1:49 PM on August 11, 2006

"We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason"

"They took it off the market because they know it works"

"That's exactly what they want you to believe"

Well, I am just shocked, shocked to see such deep distrust of the US Government here at MeFi. Are you suggesting that they'd lie to us?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:00 PM on August 11, 2006

Well, I am just shocked, shocked to see such deep distrust of the US Government here at MeFi. Are you suggesting that they'd lie to us?

Damn, those lasers are getting good.
posted by eriko at 6:14 PM on August 11, 2006

"Damn, those lasers are getting good."

Awww... and I thought smearing peanut butter over all the windows was really gonna work!

Still, I just feel so much better now. I trust the government, I trust the government...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:42 PM on August 11, 2006

I think it's possible that tin/foil helmets actually do help block noise/static for some people. Maybe psychosomatic (sp?) reasons, maybe there's something about some people's brains and how they work, take in and perhaps amplify data, something we don't understand yet. Wacky idea, I know.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 1:54 AM on August 12, 2006