Mickey Mantle's Grilled Cheese

February 2, 2011 3:08 PM

Mickey Mantle's outstanding event at Yankee Stadium. [NSFW text] Fact-checked by Snopes. And this from a man who did a lot of outstanding things in Yankee Stadium. Letters Of Note previously.
posted by chavenet (25 comments total)

I had a feeling this would end up here. The Mick was a quite a character, wasn't he?
posted by tommasz at 3:11 PM on February 2, 2011

The 2011 version of this would end with the letter being posted on Deadspin an hour after the email landed in the official's inbox, three days of Canned Pundit Outrage, and a press conference featuring the phrases "mistakes were made," "deep regret," "unfortunate incident," and/or "anyone who was offended."
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:17 PM on February 2, 2011 [3 favorites]

I'm a little disappointed. You'd think the great Mickey Mantle could have at least had a three way under the right field bleachers. A blow job? Shit, I bet even Joe Pepitone got a blow job under the right field bleachers.
posted by zzazazz at 3:21 PM on February 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

I got a blow-job under the right field Bleachers, by the Yankee Bull pen.

I know the Yankee relievers suck, but that's taking it a bit far, no?
posted by Rock Steady at 3:23 PM on February 2, 2011 [7 favorites]

MANTLE TAGS THIRD!
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:27 PM on February 2, 2011

+1 for use of the "grilled cheese" tag.
posted by gingerbeer at 3:29 PM on February 2, 2011

"That may be the best thing I've ever heard about him," said Robert Pinsky...

"That may be the best thing I've ever heard about Robert Pinksy," said me.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:36 PM on February 2, 2011

This is great, I literally laughed out loud reading this. I love the irony of being the "All-American boy."
posted by xtine at 3:40 PM on February 2, 2011

Yeah, I was pretty sure I knew what this was about before clicking the link. I have a copy of that letter and response framed on my home office wall.

(Yes, I am a bit odd. So what?)
posted by rokusan at 3:45 PM on February 2, 2011

I always forget that Snopes is one of the last places on the internet to find three crappy pop-ups per page.
posted by klangklangston at 3:46 PM on February 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

Pop quiz time!

Mickey Mantle was:

a) Drunk when he got the blow job [ ]
b) Drunk when he wrote the letter [ ]
c) All of the above [ ]
posted by tommasz at 3:53 PM on February 2, 2011

And here I was expecting Snopes to verify whether or not the blow job actually happened
posted by Omission at 3:54 PM on February 2, 2011 [4 favorites]

Haha, yeah, this made the rounds one of the times I went to work with my dad at the stock exchange.. so funny, he was a truly great man, hehehe..
posted by ReeMonster at 3:55 PM on February 2, 2011

OK, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here,
Two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth,
There's the windup, and there it is, a line shot up the middle,
Look at him go. This boy can really fly! He's rounding first and really
turning it on now, he's not letting up at all, he's gonna try for
second; the ball is bobbled out in center, and here comes the
throw, and what a throw! He's gonna slide in head first, here he
comes, he's out! No, wait, safe-safe at second base, this kid
really makes things happen out there. Batter steps up to the
plate, here's the pitch-he's going, and what a jump he's got,
he's trying for third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt-safe at
third! Holy cow, stolen base! He's taking a pretty big lead out
there, almost daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher
glances over, winds up, and it's bunted, bunted down the third
base line, the suicide squeeze is on! Here he comes, squeeze
play, it's gonna be close, holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!

- Phil Rizzuto, Paradise by the Dashboard Light
posted by evilcolonel at 4:01 PM on February 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

I Love Mickey as sung by Teresa brewer and Mickey Mantle
posted by Xurando at 4:05 PM on February 2, 2011

Far be it from me to question Snopes' accuracy, but I'm pretty sure the blowjob was invented at Woodstock in 1969, so the timeline here doesn't make sense.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:40 PM on February 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Would that be Phil Rizzuto for the Money Shot Store?
posted by adamg at 7:31 PM on February 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

but I'm pretty sure the blowjob was invented at Woodstock in 1969, so the timeline here doesn't make sense.

No, it was invented, along with all sorts of other sex acts, in 1963.
posted by kenko at 7:54 PM on February 2, 2011

"...She was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the cum after I came in her mouth. I said don't ask me, I'm no cock-sucker. "

Not only was he a great ballplayer, but he was a first class wit too.
posted by AugustWest at 8:36 PM on February 2, 2011

Second base! No, third base! I don't know anymore! Way to go Mickey!
posted by Rashomon at 8:40 PM on February 2, 2011

Not only was he a great ballplayer, but he was a first class wit too.

Although he left a giant logical hole in his story.

How did she ask him what to do with her mouth full?
posted by asterix at 9:11 PM on February 2, 2011

- Phil Rizzuto, Paradise by the Dashboard Light

Isn't it spelled "Rirruto"?
posted by inigo2 at 9:26 PM on February 2, 2011

so THAT'S what yogi berra meant by "you can observe a lot just by watching"
posted by pyramid termite at 9:35 PM on February 2, 2011

Lately I've been working my way through Ken Burns' Baseball on DVD.

I'm guessing this letter doesn't get thirty seconds of graceful zoom-and-pan while Sam Waterston reads it out loud in character as Mickey Mantle over a Bootsy Collins version of "Take Me Out To The Ball Game".
posted by Lazlo at 9:50 PM on February 2, 2011 [3 favorites]

Snopes cited the Mantle letter in this recent entry as well.
posted by TedW at 9:58 PM on February 2, 2011