Making Logging Seem Like a Dirty Business
February 25, 2011 7:02 AM Subscribe
Malibu's Most Wanted: one might sensibly assume Mel Gibson is the worst person in his neighborhood. One would be wrong. Come on down, Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue.
The Dude: Mr Nguema Obiang Mangue treats objects like women, man!
Malibu Police Chief: Mr Nguema Obiang Mangue draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
The Dude: [after a pause] I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
posted by jontyjago at 7:18 AM on February 25, 2011 [9 favorites]
Malibu Police Chief: Mr Nguema Obiang Mangue draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
The Dude: [after a pause] I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
posted by jontyjago at 7:18 AM on February 25, 2011 [9 favorites]
I'll just leave this here. (This is his father.)
posted by Threeway Handshake at 7:22 AM on February 25, 2011
posted by Threeway Handshake at 7:22 AM on February 25, 2011
Meanwhile, new lawsuits keep sprouting up -- there are four still outstanding -- and the charges grow ever more lurid, with one former employee alleging full frontal nudity by Teodorin. "He is a guest in our country who clearly does not think that the rules apply to him," McDermott argues.
What the fuck? The guy tortures people and steals hundreds of millions of dollars, and they're worried about nudity?
posted by nasreddin at 7:45 AM on February 25, 2011
What the fuck? The guy tortures people and steals hundreds of millions of dollars, and they're worried about nudity?
posted by nasreddin at 7:45 AM on February 25, 2011
What the fuck? The guy tortures people and steals hundreds of millions of dollars, and they're worried about nudity?
You must not be from the States, either.
posted by Zozo at 7:49 AM on February 25, 2011 [29 favorites]
You must not be from the States, either.
posted by Zozo at 7:49 AM on February 25, 2011 [29 favorites]
The guy tortures people and steals hundreds of millions of dollars, and they're worried about nudity?
Sexual harassment of employees sucks, even when it's done by horrible sons-of-dictators. Employees of same still have a right not to be flashed by their gross employers and to file complaints in those matters.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:00 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Sexual harassment of employees sucks, even when it's done by horrible sons-of-dictators. Employees of same still have a right not to be flashed by their gross employers and to file complaints in those matters.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:00 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
I mean, seriously, that's not American prudery in action--that's individuals filing legitimate complaints being taken seriously. It's not like the same courts are prosecuting sexual harassment and international crimes of torture and kleptocracy.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:01 AM on February 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:01 AM on February 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
Also, I have never been as close to being on Mark Thatcher's side about anything before.
Close, until I realized that whatever corrupt puppet he and his cronies wanted to install would probably have been just as bad.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:03 AM on February 25, 2011
Close, until I realized that whatever corrupt puppet he and his cronies wanted to install would probably have been just as bad.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:03 AM on February 25, 2011
The importance of oil supersedes all social, political and human rationale.
Watch Syriana, replacing Gulf royalty with the Obiang clan and you have nothing new. The main goal of the US government is to fuel the economic growth of the nation, by whatever means they deem necessary, whether it handing our treasury over to gambling bankers or tacitly backing tin-pot dictators in resource-rich corners of the world.
The government's job is to keep the Spanish, British, French and Chinese away from countries like EG and ensure that our investments there will bear dividends in the form of readily accesible oil. No more, no less. I don't think for a moment that if we thought we could get into Iran that we wouldn't change the laws to do so.
Obiang knows that we can flip him at any moment, but in the mean time, for appearances sake, we're willing to put up with his Almighty legitimist charade as we try and gain influence over his potential successors as they plunder whatever temporary riches the country can produce. The charade involves certifying the government's finances, photo ops with the president, private banking facilities (yeah, Riggs fucked that one up) and other demonstrations of friendship until a Marine Expeditionary Unit shows up on the beach uninvited and looking for a fight.
It's an age-old game where the US have won in one little corner because of the incompetence of former colonial masters Spain, coup-happy UK/SA mercenaries and the French. The Asians got the logging concessions. Win some, lose some.
posted by jsavimbi at 8:39 AM on February 25, 2011
Watch Syriana, replacing Gulf royalty with the Obiang clan and you have nothing new. The main goal of the US government is to fuel the economic growth of the nation, by whatever means they deem necessary, whether it handing our treasury over to gambling bankers or tacitly backing tin-pot dictators in resource-rich corners of the world.
The government's job is to keep the Spanish, British, French and Chinese away from countries like EG and ensure that our investments there will bear dividends in the form of readily accesible oil. No more, no less. I don't think for a moment that if we thought we could get into Iran that we wouldn't change the laws to do so.
Obiang knows that we can flip him at any moment, but in the mean time, for appearances sake, we're willing to put up with his Almighty legitimist charade as we try and gain influence over his potential successors as they plunder whatever temporary riches the country can produce. The charade involves certifying the government's finances, photo ops with the president, private banking facilities (yeah, Riggs fucked that one up) and other demonstrations of friendship until a Marine Expeditionary Unit shows up on the beach uninvited and looking for a fight.
It's an age-old game where the US have won in one little corner because of the incompetence of former colonial masters Spain, coup-happy UK/SA mercenaries and the French. The Asians got the logging concessions. Win some, lose some.
posted by jsavimbi at 8:39 AM on February 25, 2011
Gabriel Obiang, younger son of the dictator and brother of guy from the article, is a proud graduate of my Alma Mater, making him probably the most famous alumus except for this guy. Shockingly, he is not mentioned on my school's website...
posted by dhens at 8:41 AM on February 25, 2011
posted by dhens at 8:41 AM on February 25, 2011
Here's a better pic of his Malibu house.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:45 AM on February 25, 2011
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:45 AM on February 25, 2011
Frank Knox? Hardly. George Allen went on to become a distinguished football coach and sire a racist turd of a son.
posted by jsavimbi at 9:45 AM on February 25, 2011
posted by jsavimbi at 9:45 AM on February 25, 2011
jsavimbi: Well, I have to admit I am pretty ignorant when it comes to sports. However, now I know that there is a connection between Alma and George "Macaca" Allen.
posted by dhens at 10:03 AM on February 25, 2011
posted by dhens at 10:03 AM on February 25, 2011
This is exactly what the guillotine was invented for. Let's dust that thing off!
posted by Redhush at 10:04 AM on February 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Redhush at 10:04 AM on February 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Thanks to his diplomatic passport, Teodorin routinely carried as much as $1 million in cash into the country, the ICE documents allege.
The guy is obviously a scumbag, but if you are going to call him to account, or deal with him, do so legally. I am quite troubled by the ICE allegations. If the guy has a diplomatic passport, as a diplomat whatever is in his documents pouch - and that's where I assume he'd keep his money, rather than wrapped in underwear - is privileged and not to be opened by U.S. border officials. So how would ICE know about the exact amounts - or indeed any amounts, unless they broke into his diplomatic pouch? Pursue him by all means, but please don't break laws in the process.
posted by VikingSword at 11:34 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
The guy is obviously a scumbag, but if you are going to call him to account, or deal with him, do so legally. I am quite troubled by the ICE allegations. If the guy has a diplomatic passport, as a diplomat whatever is in his documents pouch - and that's where I assume he'd keep his money, rather than wrapped in underwear - is privileged and not to be opened by U.S. border officials. So how would ICE know about the exact amounts - or indeed any amounts, unless they broke into his diplomatic pouch? Pursue him by all means, but please don't break laws in the process.
posted by VikingSword at 11:34 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
This is exactly what the guillotine was invented for. Let's dust that thing off!
I don't think that's what the business community has in mind. Teodoro Senior is the semi-sane one amongst the local leaders and EG has been war-free since times immemorial so there's no reason to provoke any outside intervention like the Thatcher boy and his public school chums tried to conjure up not long ago. He's only crazy on the inside, where folks like Mugabe are all around crazy.
In the event that a North African-styled people's revolt should materialize, expect the international community to adopt a wait-and-see approach with calls for civility and other effete gestures aimed at the Economist readership. If his Moroccan mercenaries and fellow tribesmen/family can't handle a widespread revolt, expect a stabilization force to land in Malabo to figure out who's capable of taking orders from corporate overlords and installing them as the leader of a long-term interim government.
Somalia, no oil + pirates. Rwanda, no oil. Darfur, no oil. Zimbabwe, no oil. Ecuatorial Guinea, oil. Place yer bets about whom the US gummint is concerned about enough to intervene.
posted by jsavimbi at 11:44 AM on February 25, 2011
I don't think that's what the business community has in mind. Teodoro Senior is the semi-sane one amongst the local leaders and EG has been war-free since times immemorial so there's no reason to provoke any outside intervention like the Thatcher boy and his public school chums tried to conjure up not long ago. He's only crazy on the inside, where folks like Mugabe are all around crazy.
In the event that a North African-styled people's revolt should materialize, expect the international community to adopt a wait-and-see approach with calls for civility and other effete gestures aimed at the Economist readership. If his Moroccan mercenaries and fellow tribesmen/family can't handle a widespread revolt, expect a stabilization force to land in Malabo to figure out who's capable of taking orders from corporate overlords and installing them as the leader of a long-term interim government.
Somalia, no oil + pirates. Rwanda, no oil. Darfur, no oil. Zimbabwe, no oil. Ecuatorial Guinea, oil. Place yer bets about whom the US gummint is concerned about enough to intervene.
posted by jsavimbi at 11:44 AM on February 25, 2011
If his Moroccan mercenaries and fellow tribesmen/family can't handle a widespread revolt, expect a stabilization force to land in Malibu to figure out who's capable of taking orders from corporate overlords and installing them as the leader of a long-term interim government.
This is how I read this line the first time around.
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:34 PM on February 25, 2011
This is how I read this line the first time around.
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:34 PM on February 25, 2011
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A post detailing 7750 being applied to other African government officials.
posted by yerfatma at 7:04 AM on February 25, 2011