... Impersonating Meat Royalty ...
June 14, 2011 1:37 PM   Subscribe

Whoa, Atom is still around? Crazy.
posted by circular at 1:49 PM on June 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Cameron at the ATM is all too real to me.
posted by triceryclops at 2:40 PM on June 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Obviously the writer of the Atlantic article linked by shakespherian is being willfully obtuse. Ferris Bueller isn't about escapism for *him* and it's not about identifying with him because we, as teens, were cool with all the various sub-groups.

It's awesome BECAUSE he's (relatively) rich. And clever. And can get away with unrealistic things. And selfish-but-not-too-selfish. And is dating the hottest girl in school. And the object of his sister's seething jealousy. And gets away with it by the skin of his teeth.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off is a classic because it is quite possibly the best example of (barely) plausible teenage wish fulfillment in cinema.
posted by chimaera at 2:46 PM on June 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yeah, the author of the Atlantic piece is missing the point. Ferris is a fantasy figure. You may as well be asking Thor or Zeus to "grow" as characters.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:02 PM on June 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Ferris Bueller 2: Another Day Off
posted by milkrate at 3:38 PM on June 14, 2011

Ferris Bueller 2: Another Day Off

May that never ever happen.
posted by hanoixan at 3:49 PM on June 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

the AV Club has been mocking the Ferris Bueller 2 script. it's pretty bad. they also talked about the Ferris Bueller Fight Club theory, but they didn't cite MeFi....
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:40 PM on June 14, 2011

Well, they tried. Too bad you saw every. joke. coming.
posted by emjaybee at 4:55 PM on June 14, 2011

When I saw the title of the piece my first thought was it would be Ferris as an old man, escaping the nursing home to do a bunch of awesome things only tangentially related to his teenage years. Was hoping for an old Cameron and Sloan too, but it was not to be.
posted by bwg at 5:49 PM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

"When Harry Divorced Sally", "Unemployed Girl", "Sexually Exploited Woman", "Back to School Where Principal Strickland Gives You Detention for the Foreseeable Future". We could play this game all day.

I quite liked the opening gag. Maybe I'm missing out on the cultural resonance of the thing.
posted by howfar at 6:17 PM on June 14, 2011

It's even worse: IRL he's married to SJP.
posted by jimmythefish at 6:26 PM on June 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

posted by jonmc at 6:30 PM on June 14, 2011

You know everytime I see anything that is related in any way to Ferris Bueller's Day Off, it never fails that someone will tell me that the actor who plays Cameron was 45 when he starred in that film. Over the years that age has changed according to various friends, sometimes Cameron is 30, sometimes he's 40. I know that I could wander on over to wikipedia and IMDB and determine Alan Ruck's true age during the filming of that movie, but I prefer the legend. I like to believe that a 55 yr. old actor played a 17 yr. old high-school student. Movies....so magical.
posted by Fizz at 7:14 PM on June 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

I saw Cameron (Alan Ruck) at a comic book convention a few months ago, sitting a little forlornly at a table next to the tactical officer guy from Enterprise. He sure looks older now!
posted by sevenyearlurk at 7:20 PM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wow, grown up Alan Ruck weirdly resembles Edward Norton. They should, I don't know, play brothers in a movie or something.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 8:13 PM on June 14, 2011

the most impressive thing about this was the costumes. where did they find such realistic replicas of ferris' outfits?
posted by ericbop at 8:13 PM on June 14, 2011

I just checked Alan Ruck's age on Wikipedia, and yeah, my earlier use of "grown up" was a bit erroneous.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 8:18 PM on June 14, 2011

Ferris is a VP of Sales somewhere making a huge bonus every year, while playing golf and coaching soccer on the weekends. Everyone loves that guy.

I hope Cameron finally got right medication therapy for his GAD. Otherwise he's probably on drugs or drunk all the time.

Sloane who knows, she didn't marry Ferris though, they broke up her senior year his first semester at college. You can see it coming in the movie.

A sequel would have them all connecting up on Facebook like everyone in their 40s who discovers Facebook. Then Ferris would have some adventure to pull them into, maybe a road trip.
posted by humanfont at 8:57 PM on June 14, 2011

A Ferris sequel will be a let-down, regardless. It's unsequel-able. They lived happily ever after, the end, like all good fairy tales.

But ...

If someone put a gun to my head and said, "Think up a sequel," here's what I'd say:

The Ferris Bueller sequel doesn't actually have Ferris in it.

The sequel is about Cameron, who has become a very well regarded (and well paid) plastic surgeon, who takes all of the money he earns fixing rich women's faces and plows it into charity work, fixing accident victims and children with cleft palates. See, Cameron's actually a pretty smart dude -- there's a reason he was wearing a caduceus T-shirt and knew what his diastolic was.

Ferris is dead. We're never told how or why, or if he actually became a fry cook on Venus.

Cameron takes a day off. His assistant cancels his appointments and asks if he needs any help.

"Well, do you need a ride?"
"Already got one."

The camera pulls back to reveal that Cameron's ride is the 1961 Ferrari GT California.

What? You thought it was totally destroyed? Unh-huh. Even tossed out of a window, you don't just throw it away.

* Ferris' parents still live in the same house, but it's for sale; they're empty-nesters now, and are moving to a dream cottage in the Smoky Mountains.
* Sloane is a speech therapist that works with children, and has two of her own and a wonderful husband that she loves dearly. She and Ferris went to different colleges; they never married.
* Ed Rooney retired after 30 years as an educator. Current whereabouts unknown.
* Jeannie has just won an Oscar for Best Director. She's an amazing visual artist and storyteller. Her parents are awestruck; they never knew she had it in her. It's as if one day she met some random stranger that really opened up her mind and told her how to let go of her anger. The movie, a romantic coming of age story, was simply called "Shauna."

There are long shots of Cameron wandering the city of Chicago. The art museum. The Sears Tower (now called the Willis Tower). A parade. Chez Quis. At every stop, we see Cameron kneeling down and patting the ground.

At Wrigley Field, the Cubs are in the World Series (I know. Amazing!). Through a couple of minor Ferris-like subterfuges and cons (and Cameron pulling some strings with the team's medical staff, who sneak him into the locker room), Cameron makes it out onto the field during warm-ups. Cameron wanders over to the pitcher's mound, and kneels down. He pulls a small medical vial from his pocket.

We realize what Cameron has been doing and why we've seen him kneeling in various locales. He's been spreading ashes, a little at a time, here and there.

Walking out, a woman catches sight of him. She's a team executive of some kind, and she calls his name. Cameron thinks he's busted, and tries to duck out, but she's persistent and finally corners him.

"Hey, aren't you Cameron Frye?"
"Uhh ... yeah."
"We went to high school together."

Cameron is flustered. He blushes. He doesn't remember her name.

"You don't remember me, do you?"
"Sorry, you got me."
"We even had a class together in senior year."
"Really? I ... uhh ... I'm really sorry."
"Where are you sitting?"
"Well ... I ... I don't actually have a ticket."
"How'd you ...?"
"Long story."
"Well, come on. The team has a box."
"You work for the Cubs?"
"Yep. Come on, you can tell me the long story."
"Thanks. OK. But look. I'm ... uh ... I'm really kind of embarrassed here. You gotta tell me your name."

And they all lived happily ever after.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:34 PM on June 14, 2011 [49 favorites]

I like it, Cool Papa Bell. I like it a lot.
posted by me3dia at 10:13 PM on June 14, 2011

Cool papa bell: thank you for that. Perfect.
posted by davidmsc at 10:59 PM on June 14, 2011

I was imaging that, after leaving the office, Cameron visits a warehouse that has a secret lab and eight cars under tarps. Eight. Red. Ferraris.

Oh, he saved Ferris ... enough of Ferris.

Working title: The Boys from Winnetka.
posted by zippy at 12:18 AM on June 15, 2011

(Re Cool Papa Bell's nice sequel)
posted by zippy at 12:20 AM on June 15, 2011

Dear Hollywood,

Please stop whatever it is you're doing and do what Cool Papa Bell said.


The sequel is about Cameron

If you look carefully, you may find that the original is also about Cameron.
posted by mhum at 12:48 AM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Ferris is dead. We're never told how or why, or if he actually became a fry cook on Venus.

That whole thing was pretty good, but we shouldn't even be told this much. I missed the "Ferris is dead" part the first time I read your comment and it worked even better. We just see the ashes, which should tell us everything without TELLING us everything.
posted by DU at 4:55 AM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I liked this video. But I like Cool Papa Bell's sequel even better. Like, WAY even better.

The day that I realized that Stuart from Spin City was actually f'ing Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off was the most mind blowing day of my life. I'd love to see Ruck re-visit Cameron, as opposed to his smarmy Stuart-like character that he normally plays all the time now.
posted by antifuse at 7:37 AM on June 15, 2011

Ferris Bueller's Day Off is a classic because it is quite possibly the best example of (barely) plausible teenage wish fulfillment in cinema.

One could argue that The Girl Next Door is the best example of barely plausible teeange wish fulfillment in cinema.
posted by AceRock at 2:33 PM on June 15, 2011

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