Objectophilia
June 25, 2011 9:10 AM Subscribe
Married To The Eiffel Tower is a documentary that tells the stories of three females who are sexually and emotionally attracted to inanimate objects. (Previously)
That's gotta be a tough ex to be compared to.
posted by fairmettle at 9:24 AM on June 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by fairmettle at 9:24 AM on June 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
Soon the passion dims and the yelling begins: We never go out anymore!
posted by hal9k at 9:34 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by hal9k at 9:34 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Pardon me, Madam, I'm afraid you've misplaced your cathexis.
posted by Aquaman at 9:36 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Aquaman at 9:36 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Suddenly I feel relatively normal.
posted by localroger at 9:40 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by localroger at 9:40 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Confession: I love a parade.
posted by hal9k at 9:43 AM on June 25, 2011 [14 favorites]
posted by hal9k at 9:43 AM on June 25, 2011 [14 favorites]
The whole "the object communicates back by telepathy" angle is what I'm having trouble understanding.
posted by neuromodulator at 9:47 AM on June 25, 2011
posted by neuromodulator at 9:47 AM on June 25, 2011
I were going to bang a bridge it would totally be the golden gate. KEINE OBJEKTOPHIL.
posted by elektrotechnicus at 9:47 AM on June 25, 2011
posted by elektrotechnicus at 9:47 AM on June 25, 2011
I have stated several times how much I love my Creative ZEN Vision:M, but for the record, I would like to stress that I have never actually LOVED my Creative ZEN Vision:M. Although after a few particularly good runs on shuffle I have gotten a little tingly.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:48 AM on June 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:48 AM on June 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
My wife thought of me as an inanimate object. Over our bed, on the headboard, she had carved the following:
THE DEAD SHALL BE RAISED.
posted by Postroad at 9:48 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
THE DEAD SHALL BE RAISED.
posted by Postroad at 9:48 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Well, maybe the molecules of which these objects are are made are somehow communicating with the molecules of which these women are made, effecting a communion if you will, which modern science may someday... ah, screw it. This is batty.
posted by likeso at 9:51 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by likeso at 9:51 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
It's weird. It's reallyreallyreally weird. But I love the part where she says, "If everyone else is having that kinda sex, I think that's wonderful. The world should have more of that." I don't know, I just love that there's weirdness like this out there, as long as nobody's hurt.
Guillotine lady, though...
posted by katillathehun at 9:53 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Guillotine lady, though...
posted by katillathehun at 9:53 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
"It's a challenge to be truly intimate with a public structure."
posted by neuromodulator at 9:57 AM on June 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by neuromodulator at 9:57 AM on June 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
Thanks for the link, gman.
I don't view these people any different than people with other fetishes, whether they be S&M, role-play, furries, whatever... they're just further down the spectrum. It's the same path, though.
posted by dobbs at 10:09 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
I don't view these people any different than people with other fetishes, whether they be S&M, role-play, furries, whatever... they're just further down the spectrum. It's the same path, though.
posted by dobbs at 10:09 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
"It's a challenge to be truly intimate with a public structure."
I bet Patti Scialfa feels the same way.
posted by FelliniBlank at 10:10 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
I bet Patti Scialfa feels the same way.
posted by FelliniBlank at 10:10 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Aside from the foolishness about telepathy, I feel a great well of sympathy for these women. I've never had this tendency, but with all the abandonment and intimacy issues I have got, it's very easy to see where I might have come by it if I had been unlucky. It's like the deep end of a pool where I'm sitting with my feet dangling off the side.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:12 AM on June 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 10:12 AM on June 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
Those who liked this documentary should hunt down another doc called Whole about people who want to be amputees. Fascinating film.
posted by dobbs at 10:16 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by dobbs at 10:16 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
I didn't like this documentary, I loved this documentary. And, I think it knows that.
posted by found missing at 10:21 AM on June 25, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by found missing at 10:21 AM on June 25, 2011 [5 favorites]
Don't stick your dick in these holes.
posted by stinkycheese at 10:27 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by stinkycheese at 10:27 AM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
"...and I just hope that when... I make love to this piece of him..."
I just hope that she's had a tetanus booster recently.
posted by rh at 10:33 AM on June 25, 2011
I just hope that she's had a tetanus booster recently.
posted by rh at 10:33 AM on June 25, 2011
"It is a journey into the notions of love, tolerance, freedom of choice in our modern world, and a road towards understanding objectophilia better."
???
Sorry, I don't get the joke.
posted by pla at 10:35 AM on June 25, 2011
???
Sorry, I don't get the joke.
posted by pla at 10:35 AM on June 25, 2011
I was kind of hoping the documentary would spend some time talking about the relationships that "normal" people have with objects, rather than treating objectum-sexuals like a completely different species. A lot of people have emotional connections to things like cars, and it seems to me that the difference is really only in degree.
posted by obvious at 10:38 AM on June 25, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by obvious at 10:38 AM on June 25, 2011 [7 favorites]
Tonight on The Learning Filter...
posted by bicyclefish at 10:38 AM on June 25, 2011
posted by bicyclefish at 10:38 AM on June 25, 2011
Would footage of building implosions be considered snuff films for these women?
posted by Tenacious.Me.Tokyo at 10:39 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Tenacious.Me.Tokyo at 10:39 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Will the state of New York be required to allow them to get married now?
posted by madcaptenor at 10:42 AM on June 25, 2011
posted by madcaptenor at 10:42 AM on June 25, 2011
A bold note on the community support site: OS Internationale does NOT sanction the 2008 UK film "Married to the Eiffel Tower"
posted by rh at 10:45 AM on June 25, 2011
posted by rh at 10:45 AM on June 25, 2011
I see no problem with this. They're obviously happy and satisfied with their relationships with these objects. I've been friends with stranger people, so I don't really find this 'strange'. Just quirky - but that's what makes life interesting!
posted by Malice at 10:48 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Malice at 10:48 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
On another note, some parents of gay children could learn a thing or two from Amy's mother. "What choice do I have but to accept this? She's my daughter, and I love her."
posted by Malice at 10:50 AM on June 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Malice at 10:50 AM on June 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
I was kind of hoping the documentary would spend some time talking about the relationships that "normal" people have with objects, rather than treating objectum-sexuals like a completely different species.
I haven't watched the video or read the Wikipedia link, but this doesn't seem that strange at first glance. Some people imbue objections with emotions thoughts and memories. Look at that picture of your SO or kid, from when ya'll were at that special place where a lot of fun was had. You get a rush of emotions, memories and other sensations.
As a graphic designer, there's a certain fetish for type and well designed websites or print pieces. They seem to have a life of their own, standing apart from the crowd as a shining example of beauty or intelligence. Granted I've never wanted to marry such pieces or attempt to have intimate relations with them, yet the language used to describe them often sounds familiar. "Oh man, I love that font, it's perfect, that curves and leading blah blah." Or "I love this house/building/museum it's so beautiful/cozy/warm etc". Pretty much everything we buy, from clothes to cars to houses is done with a eye towards how they make us feel.
Off to watch the video now. Should I bring lube?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:55 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
I haven't watched the video or read the Wikipedia link, but this doesn't seem that strange at first glance. Some people imbue objections with emotions thoughts and memories. Look at that picture of your SO or kid, from when ya'll were at that special place where a lot of fun was had. You get a rush of emotions, memories and other sensations.
As a graphic designer, there's a certain fetish for type and well designed websites or print pieces. They seem to have a life of their own, standing apart from the crowd as a shining example of beauty or intelligence. Granted I've never wanted to marry such pieces or attempt to have intimate relations with them, yet the language used to describe them often sounds familiar. "Oh man, I love that font, it's perfect, that curves and leading blah blah." Or "I love this house/building/museum it's so beautiful/cozy/warm etc". Pretty much everything we buy, from clothes to cars to houses is done with a eye towards how they make us feel.
Off to watch the video now. Should I bring lube?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:55 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Wow. You start out thinking they're just a bit crazy, but then you come to realize that they're deeply, deeply wounded people who need to make a connection somehow, as most people do, but are possibly no longer capable of trusting another human being. My heart just breaks for Naisho.
posted by Hildegarde at 10:55 AM on June 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Hildegarde at 10:55 AM on June 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
Should I bring lube?
WD-40 should do it.
posted by found missing at 10:56 AM on June 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
WD-40 should do it.
posted by found missing at 10:56 AM on June 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
I don't know. I've had some bicycles I've been rather attached to.
I'm not actually trying to be snarky or funny. I've had moments where I'm just moving my bike out of the way in my apartment and just the act of touching the bike and hearing the freewheel click will stir up feelings that aren't unlike anticipating sex, or missing a lover who is away. It's not the same as actual arousal but it seems to trigger the same pleasure centers.
The next thing I know I just have to go for a bike ride even if it's just a couple of laps around the block.
posted by loquacious at 11:01 AM on June 25, 2011
I'm not actually trying to be snarky or funny. I've had moments where I'm just moving my bike out of the way in my apartment and just the act of touching the bike and hearing the freewheel click will stir up feelings that aren't unlike anticipating sex, or missing a lover who is away. It's not the same as actual arousal but it seems to trigger the same pleasure centers.
The next thing I know I just have to go for a bike ride even if it's just a couple of laps around the block.
posted by loquacious at 11:01 AM on June 25, 2011
I have minor synesthesia with (for?) inanimate objects: I feel like my toaster, fridge, bathroom sink and a number of other things have personalities. Not, you know, strong personalities, but some things seem more male or female. One appliance is definately cheerful, and another is kind of grim. I feel guilty when I always use the same coffee mug every morning, like the other coffee mugs might feel bad that I am ignoring them. When I've ask around, I've discovered that a lot of people have some form of this. A friend told me she cannot stand when her daughter violently shakes the toaster in the morning - she says it seems rude (to the toaster).
I don't believe that they are animate or alive or anything (nor in any way do want to make out with them), but I do get an underlying vibe from some objects. Maybe there are some funky wiring things going on here in their brains and objectophilia is some really amped up version of synesthesia - ?
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 11:06 AM on June 25, 2011 [7 favorites]
I don't believe that they are animate or alive or anything (nor in any way do want to make out with them), but I do get an underlying vibe from some objects. Maybe there are some funky wiring things going on here in their brains and objectophilia is some really amped up version of synesthesia - ?
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 11:06 AM on June 25, 2011 [7 favorites]
Malice : What choice do I have but to accept this? She's my daughter, and I love her.
Hildegarde : you come to realize that they're deeply, deeply wounded people
What choice does she have? Jesus Christ, people - Treatment! "Accepting" this amounts to saying "well, at least that woman bleeding to death over there seems harmless".
Philos. Eros. Agape. Which of these can apply to an object? I would tend to say Agape, because you may as well count as a god to your "partner"-the-armoire. And course, I can see this on a purely masturbatory level, so Eros. But the one version of "love" that pretty much defines what we mean by "in a relationship", Philos, cannot exist with an inanimate object.
posted by pla at 11:09 AM on June 25, 2011
Hildegarde : you come to realize that they're deeply, deeply wounded people
What choice does she have? Jesus Christ, people - Treatment! "Accepting" this amounts to saying "well, at least that woman bleeding to death over there seems harmless".
Philos. Eros. Agape. Which of these can apply to an object? I would tend to say Agape, because you may as well count as a god to your "partner"-the-armoire. And course, I can see this on a purely masturbatory level, so Eros. But the one version of "love" that pretty much defines what we mean by "in a relationship", Philos, cannot exist with an inanimate object.
posted by pla at 11:09 AM on June 25, 2011
There was a documentary (My Car Is My Lover) about men in love with and having sex with their cars which I guess would fall under objectophilia.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 11:10 AM on June 25, 2011
posted by MaryDellamorte at 11:10 AM on June 25, 2011
Ok, I've watched the first vid and wow. I have no words. The best I can say is that at least they're harmless to other people.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:13 AM on June 25, 2011
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:13 AM on June 25, 2011
The difference as I see it, Mary, is that just because she is not accepting societal norms does not mean she is abusing herself or unhappy. The woman seems generally happy. Perhaps a poster above was right when they said some people are beyond healing.
They're adults and I am sure they have been sent through all kinds of treatment which obviously didn't work. What would you do, have us shun them or force treatment on them?
posted by Malice at 11:14 AM on June 25, 2011
They're adults and I am sure they have been sent through all kinds of treatment which obviously didn't work. What would you do, have us shun them or force treatment on them?
posted by Malice at 11:14 AM on June 25, 2011
Malice, are you confusing me with someone else?
posted by MaryDellamorte at 11:16 AM on June 25, 2011
posted by MaryDellamorte at 11:16 AM on June 25, 2011
From the second video:
Sadly she had a terrible childhood, was molested by her step brother, experienced other abuse and has a chronic PTSD disorder. Yet the Wikipedia link says abuse doesn't seem to be a factor among OSes. They all are polygamists. The documentary only has women in it so far.
Erika also loves the Berlin Wall, but their were issues there. The wall was erected for negative reasons, to keep separate people, yet Erika feels there are similarities between it and her. Like the wall, or him, Erika was brought into this world and then rejected (by her abusive parents). Yet the wall has also taught her to stand up and be herself. You can hate her or try to tear her apart, but she'll still be there, still standing.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:44 AM on June 25, 2011
Erika Eiffel straddling fence, then beings speaking:This was the woman who loved a cross bow, the Golden Gate bridge and eventually married the Eiffel Tower. There seems to be no similarity between those two things (or fences), so I guess there Object Sexuals (OSes) don't have "a type".
"Fences are such dangerous objects for me, because they are so perfect in their geometry. I have to say there is a lot of physical stuff going on right now. I think that happens between human relationships as well, I'm definitely physically attracted to this fence. I would like to get to know this fence better."
Erika caresses fence.
"Wow, you are sweet, very very sweet."
Sadly she had a terrible childhood, was molested by her step brother, experienced other abuse and has a chronic PTSD disorder. Yet the Wikipedia link says abuse doesn't seem to be a factor among OSes. They all are polygamists. The documentary only has women in it so far.
Erika also loves the Berlin Wall, but their were issues there. The wall was erected for negative reasons, to keep separate people, yet Erika feels there are similarities between it and her. Like the wall, or him, Erika was brought into this world and then rejected (by her abusive parents). Yet the wall has also taught her to stand up and be herself. You can hate her or try to tear her apart, but she'll still be there, still standing.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:44 AM on June 25, 2011
A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
posted by emhutchinson at 11:51 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by emhutchinson at 11:51 AM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Currently watching Erika consummate her relationship with the tower, which is a female. Clothes on, in public, while being filmed, as she straddles part of the tower. There's an implication that she has nothing on underneath. She describes it as the heat of her body flowing into the tower, warming it. The coldness of the tower also flows into her. They're reaching equilibrium, which is them being the same temperature and exchanging energy.
I wonder what happens if the Tower has other lovers and they decide it's a he.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:56 AM on June 25, 2011
I wonder what happens if the Tower has other lovers and they decide it's a he.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:56 AM on June 25, 2011
I've seen clips of this before and am really glad to see the whole thing at once. Watching these women's reactions reminds me that feelings of love, arousal, and "connections" are nothing but chemical reactions in the brain. Objectophiles just get those particular buttons pushed in an unconventional way.
Love and sex feel so real to anyone experiencing it, and these women (to non-objectophiles) are constructing something in their minds, entire dialogs, entire relationships with objects. They're constructing a whole life where "normal" people see none. Scientifically, the bow, the berlin wall, and the bridges aren't alive, but ask these women about that and of course they'll tell you there's something there. These women are reading into chance movements (or mostly no movements at all) as actions of love and sex. The woman telling the carnival ride "I want your fluids" rubs the grease on her hands - she seems to be taking it as proof of their bond or of the strength of "their" love.
It reminds me that my own personal comfort with relationships is so entirely dependent on my perspective of it - if my mom says "I love you" before she hangs up the phone, and I believe her because she's shown it and said it before, then I feel comforted and secure in my relationship with her. But she could be hanging up and then saying to herself "stupid bitch" and throwing darts at a picture of my face and I would be none the wiser.
Any feeling of "connection" that I have with my parents, my boyfriend, my cat, nature, art, objects, or any deity is just as real as these women's connections to these objects. We are so easily manipulated by our senses and our understanding of the input we get. Most people can get a "connection" from other people, because we can communicate in similar ways and know that the other is communicating to us. And after reading so many relationship AskMes, it's easy to tell that even human-human communication is flawed and both parties in a relationship can have vastly different understandings about a situation. It's all about our interpretation of the input. I think it's either a good argument that we're all brains in vats being poked by aliens, or a good argument against the existence of God.
posted by ghostbikes at 11:56 AM on June 25, 2011 [12 favorites]
Love and sex feel so real to anyone experiencing it, and these women (to non-objectophiles) are constructing something in their minds, entire dialogs, entire relationships with objects. They're constructing a whole life where "normal" people see none. Scientifically, the bow, the berlin wall, and the bridges aren't alive, but ask these women about that and of course they'll tell you there's something there. These women are reading into chance movements (or mostly no movements at all) as actions of love and sex. The woman telling the carnival ride "I want your fluids" rubs the grease on her hands - she seems to be taking it as proof of their bond or of the strength of "their" love.
It reminds me that my own personal comfort with relationships is so entirely dependent on my perspective of it - if my mom says "I love you" before she hangs up the phone, and I believe her because she's shown it and said it before, then I feel comforted and secure in my relationship with her. But she could be hanging up and then saying to herself "stupid bitch" and throwing darts at a picture of my face and I would be none the wiser.
Any feeling of "connection" that I have with my parents, my boyfriend, my cat, nature, art, objects, or any deity is just as real as these women's connections to these objects. We are so easily manipulated by our senses and our understanding of the input we get. Most people can get a "connection" from other people, because we can communicate in similar ways and know that the other is communicating to us. And after reading so many relationship AskMes, it's easy to tell that even human-human communication is flawed and both parties in a relationship can have vastly different understandings about a situation. It's all about our interpretation of the input. I think it's either a good argument that we're all brains in vats being poked by aliens, or a good argument against the existence of God.
posted by ghostbikes at 11:56 AM on June 25, 2011 [12 favorites]
Watching these women's reactions reminds me that feelings of love, arousal, and "connections" are nothing but chemical reactions in the brain. Objectophiles just get those particular buttons pushed in an unconventional way.
Reminds of the argument about homosexuality being a lifestyle choice. Yet for Object Sexuals, it would be so much easier to be normal, but there's something in their head that totally prevents that. Were they born this way or made?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:04 PM on June 25, 2011
Reminds of the argument about homosexuality being a lifestyle choice. Yet for Object Sexuals, it would be so much easier to be normal, but there's something in their head that totally prevents that. Were they born this way or made?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:04 PM on June 25, 2011
Jesus Christ, people - Treatment!
I question whether an effective treatment exists? Despite all the advances psychology and psychiatry have made, I don't think a long-lasting, effective treatment exists. So even if these people wanted to have "normal" relationships, I don't think they could.
posted by bitteroldman at 12:28 PM on June 25, 2011
I question whether an effective treatment exists? Despite all the advances psychology and psychiatry have made, I don't think a long-lasting, effective treatment exists. So even if these people wanted to have "normal" relationships, I don't think they could.
posted by bitteroldman at 12:28 PM on June 25, 2011
Naughty punctuation - in my comment above, exchange that "?" for a "..." or a "-"
posted by bitteroldman at 12:29 PM on June 25, 2011
posted by bitteroldman at 12:29 PM on June 25, 2011
wow, really surprised at the suggestions that this is a problem to be treated. you can't control what gets you off. It becomes a problem when others are harmed.
posted by ghostbikes at 12:38 PM on June 25, 2011
posted by ghostbikes at 12:38 PM on June 25, 2011
ghostbikes : wow, really surprised at the suggestions that this is a problem to be treated. you can't control what gets you off. It becomes a problem when others are harmed.
Self-harm doesn't present a good enough cause to warrant intervention?
I would actually accept that stance, but in taking it, you end up with a lot of extra baggage you might not want. Simplest example, anorexia.
posted by pla at 12:47 PM on June 25, 2011
Self-harm doesn't present a good enough cause to warrant intervention?
I would actually accept that stance, but in taking it, you end up with a lot of extra baggage you might not want. Simplest example, anorexia.
posted by pla at 12:47 PM on June 25, 2011
The documentary only has women in it so far.
There are cases of men falling in love with virtual girlfriends or body pillows. Technically also object sexuality, but it's easy to miss that because these objects have a face and simulate humanness at some level, where a bridge and a bow do not.
It's interesting that objectification is the name for reducing a woman to her appearance. Some "normal" women have a fascination with the stereotypical stoic man who does not show his emotions, men who are "made of stone." What is he thinking, what is he feeling? His face gives nothing away. Socializing men to be insensitive to emotion is also a form of objectification, reducing them to their socially useful function of cannon fodder on a battle field.
According to their website: "a growing percentage of OS people are diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome". At one level, it's clearly a non-normative form of sexuality, but it also seems that for a woman who is less emotionally expressive than the average neurotypical man, falling in love with a strong, silent bridge actually restores traditional gender roles.
posted by AlsoMike at 1:02 PM on June 25, 2011 [5 favorites]
There are cases of men falling in love with virtual girlfriends or body pillows. Technically also object sexuality, but it's easy to miss that because these objects have a face and simulate humanness at some level, where a bridge and a bow do not.
It's interesting that objectification is the name for reducing a woman to her appearance. Some "normal" women have a fascination with the stereotypical stoic man who does not show his emotions, men who are "made of stone." What is he thinking, what is he feeling? His face gives nothing away. Socializing men to be insensitive to emotion is also a form of objectification, reducing them to their socially useful function of cannon fodder on a battle field.
According to their website: "a growing percentage of OS people are diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome". At one level, it's clearly a non-normative form of sexuality, but it also seems that for a woman who is less emotionally expressive than the average neurotypical man, falling in love with a strong, silent bridge actually restores traditional gender roles.
posted by AlsoMike at 1:02 PM on June 25, 2011 [5 favorites]
Hmm, I'm not sure. I want to say if a person is fully content with what they're doing then power to 'em. There's gotta be a lot more I'm not thinking about though.
I'll definitely be checking out the documentary dobbs mentioned.
posted by ghostbikes at 1:04 PM on June 25, 2011
I'll definitely be checking out the documentary dobbs mentioned.
posted by ghostbikes at 1:04 PM on June 25, 2011
That was directed at pla.
posted by ghostbikes at 1:05 PM on June 25, 2011
posted by ghostbikes at 1:05 PM on June 25, 2011
Self-harm doesn't present a good enough cause to warrant intervention?
No, as long as the person doing it is a mentally competent consenting adult. Also, though I'm only halfway through the documentary, I'm not seeing any self-harm or self-destructive actions so far.
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:19 PM on June 25, 2011
No, as long as the person doing it is a mentally competent consenting adult. Also, though I'm only halfway through the documentary, I'm not seeing any self-harm or self-destructive actions so far.
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:19 PM on June 25, 2011
When I say these are broken people, I mean this particular person. I have no opinion on whether or not objective sexuality is something you're born with or not, but Erika (Naisho) Eiffel in particular has been through so much trauma, abuse, neglect and rejection that it seems fairly clear that she has given up on people ever being worth risking any emotion on. She says as much herself when she sympathizes with the Berlin wall. That a person can feel more fellowship with a wall than with people strikes me as terribly sad, and I find it difficult not to sympathize with her.
It probably doesn't hurt that she appears to be quite intelligent and articulate.
I can't imagine how you'd "treat" something like this, particularly when (In her case, at least) she's perfectly happy with her life at it is and doesn't want any treatment. I'd rather just see people leave the jokes and the judgment behind and find some compassion. That woman has suffered enough.
posted by Hildegarde at 1:50 PM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
It probably doesn't hurt that she appears to be quite intelligent and articulate.
I can't imagine how you'd "treat" something like this, particularly when (In her case, at least) she's perfectly happy with her life at it is and doesn't want any treatment. I'd rather just see people leave the jokes and the judgment behind and find some compassion. That woman has suffered enough.
posted by Hildegarde at 1:50 PM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
The women in this documentary are brave in voluntarily exposing their proclivities to the general public. I understand ghostbikes' points, and for example, the studies conducted by PEAR Lab (now part of ICRL) have always been interesting to me (link to PEAR Proposition pdf).
In this video, the exchanges between Naisho/Erika and Amy in New York reminded me forcibly of two similar instances: adult doll collectors and adult pet fanciers sending gifts and cards to each other's dolls/pets - purporting to be from the dolls/pets. The created, perceived relationships can get really serious, and if you inadvertently imply that it's tongue-in-cheek, some of the owners will get seriously offended.
I am a firm believer in Whatever Works and I never make light of pain. I also know my limits. If confronted by a picture of a carnival ride I am apparently expected to greet and ask after its health and then told that it says it is happy it will be seeing the person holding the picture soon, I say batty. But if the OS person is happy, who cares what I think?
posted by likeso at 2:40 PM on June 25, 2011
In this video, the exchanges between Naisho/Erika and Amy in New York reminded me forcibly of two similar instances: adult doll collectors and adult pet fanciers sending gifts and cards to each other's dolls/pets - purporting to be from the dolls/pets. The created, perceived relationships can get really serious, and if you inadvertently imply that it's tongue-in-cheek, some of the owners will get seriously offended.
I am a firm believer in Whatever Works and I never make light of pain. I also know my limits. If confronted by a picture of a carnival ride I am apparently expected to greet and ask after its health and then told that it says it is happy it will be seeing the person holding the picture soon, I say batty. But if the OS person is happy, who cares what I think?
posted by likeso at 2:40 PM on June 25, 2011
People have had deep, meaningful (and probably sometimes sexual) relationships with objects in most cultures throughout human history. It's called idolatry. It's much more the normal state of humans than non-idolatry.
posted by grumblebee at 3:03 PM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by grumblebee at 3:03 PM on June 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
In Uncle Tungsten, Oliver Sacks reports that his first orgasms occurred on a kickboard in a swimming pool, then farther on in the book that his first object of erotic attachment was a Barrage Balloon.
I'd guess Sack's is too sophisticated in these matters not to have appreciated the striking similarity between the rippling, silvery Barrage Balloon and the surface of a swimming pool viewed at a low angle, but what really fascinates me about his story is that his feet were getting all kinds of stimulation from the water when he had those primordial orgasms.
If you look at a mapping of the sensory homunculus to the cerebral cortex, you'll notice that the feet are right next to the genitals.
The three women for whom I know feet to be a primary erogenous zone are all tall (5'10 to 6' 1"), and have exceptionally long legs even for their height. The long nerves in the legs take a long time to become fully myelinated, and it seems reasonable to me wonder whether that could lead to excitations in the genital cortex at puberty spilling over into the then partially fallow parts of the brain reserved for the feet-- or some kind of crosstalk between the nerves of the genitals and the feet-- and result in almost an identification of the feet as an extension of the genitals.
I was only able to find a couple of full length pictures of Erika Eiffel, but her legs do look fairly lengthy.
posted by jamjam at 3:37 PM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'd guess Sack's is too sophisticated in these matters not to have appreciated the striking similarity between the rippling, silvery Barrage Balloon and the surface of a swimming pool viewed at a low angle, but what really fascinates me about his story is that his feet were getting all kinds of stimulation from the water when he had those primordial orgasms.
If you look at a mapping of the sensory homunculus to the cerebral cortex, you'll notice that the feet are right next to the genitals.
The three women for whom I know feet to be a primary erogenous zone are all tall (5'10 to 6' 1"), and have exceptionally long legs even for their height. The long nerves in the legs take a long time to become fully myelinated, and it seems reasonable to me wonder whether that could lead to excitations in the genital cortex at puberty spilling over into the then partially fallow parts of the brain reserved for the feet-- or some kind of crosstalk between the nerves of the genitals and the feet-- and result in almost an identification of the feet as an extension of the genitals.
I was only able to find a couple of full length pictures of Erika Eiffel, but her legs do look fairly lengthy.
posted by jamjam at 3:37 PM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
jamjam, I've known plenty of short women who get sexually stimulated by having their feet touched.
posted by grumblebee at 3:42 PM on June 25, 2011
posted by grumblebee at 3:42 PM on June 25, 2011
I'm afraid I can't agree with you pla, because I don't see how they are harming themselves or why they should change if they have found a way to find peace and happiness. Emotions are only chemical reactions in the brain, and are not dependent on another human being.
Besides, they don't have to share the ice cream on date night.
posted by Malice at 3:47 PM on June 25, 2011
Besides, they don't have to share the ice cream on date night.
posted by Malice at 3:47 PM on June 25, 2011
I did consider speculating that earlier puberty in subsequent generations might have made the phenomenon more widespread, grumblebee, but by "primary erogenous zone" I meant to imply ability to reach orgasm through foot stimulation alone.
posted by jamjam at 3:53 PM on June 25, 2011
posted by jamjam at 3:53 PM on June 25, 2011
I'd have to do more research before I could comment on that.
posted by grumblebee at 3:55 PM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by grumblebee at 3:55 PM on June 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
I don't see how they are harming themselves or why they should change if they have found a way to find peace and happiness. Emotions are only chemical reactions in the brain, and are not dependent on another human being.
Really. Amy and Naisho seem pretty well-adjusted. First of all, they obviously do have successful "human" relationships -- with friends, relatives, coworkers, Amy's pastor (and good on him for actually doing his job as it's supposed to be done). Just not romantic ones. Big woo.
And look at their accomplishments: world archery championship, beautiful organ playing and singing, traveling, getting hired to make the models for the Berlin Wall museum. This is not to say they don't suffer, especially Naisho, and maybe they have a few more broken pieces than your average person, but I'm not so sure about that. They both certainly seem to have much healthier and matter-of-fact attitudes toward their own sexual and emotional needs than, oh, everybody I know.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:18 PM on June 25, 2011
Really. Amy and Naisho seem pretty well-adjusted. First of all, they obviously do have successful "human" relationships -- with friends, relatives, coworkers, Amy's pastor (and good on him for actually doing his job as it's supposed to be done). Just not romantic ones. Big woo.
And look at their accomplishments: world archery championship, beautiful organ playing and singing, traveling, getting hired to make the models for the Berlin Wall museum. This is not to say they don't suffer, especially Naisho, and maybe they have a few more broken pieces than your average person, but I'm not so sure about that. They both certainly seem to have much healthier and matter-of-fact attitudes toward their own sexual and emotional needs than, oh, everybody I know.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:18 PM on June 25, 2011
They both certainly seem to have much healthier and matter-of-fact attitudes toward their own sexual and emotional needs
Would you say that about a man insisting on fucking and/or jerking off on the Eiffel Tower?
I view that hypothetical man as much creepier and I'm trying to figure out if that means I should adjust my reaction to these women.
posted by neuromodulator at 5:48 PM on June 25, 2011
Would you say that about a man insisting on fucking and/or jerking off on the Eiffel Tower?
I view that hypothetical man as much creepier and I'm trying to figure out if that means I should adjust my reaction to these women.
posted by neuromodulator at 5:48 PM on June 25, 2011
Or is the difference simply that I'm imagining a context-less man doing so while I had lots of introduction to these women before the Eiffel, ummm, climax?
posted by neuromodulator at 5:58 PM on June 25, 2011
posted by neuromodulator at 5:58 PM on June 25, 2011
From her page:
"He asked me why I love a building. So I began to list all the reasons I find my
darling so amazing.
“No,” the doctor interrupts. “WHY do you love a building and not a person?”
he set his pencil to his notepad.
“I don’t know WHY. I only know that I do and I always have.” I explain yet
again to another psychologist. I shift uncomfortably in my seat as the doctor pokes
into my past for answers.
No, I was not abused as a child. Yes, my parents divorced. No, my mother
didn’t drink while pregnant. Yes, I had some trouble in school. The weekly sessions
go on and on until they can find some way of putting me in a neat little box with a
label to explain away my love for objects.
That label should simply say that I am an objectum-sexual individual but no.
It says some new fangled disorder they came up with followed by some prescription
drug with a fat booklet of side-effects.
They tell me I should love a person. They tell me it is wrong to love a building
because the pieces don’t fit. And what pieces are they referring to? Clearly, not
the ones in my heart that feel so right with my object love."
posted by Malice at 6:15 PM on June 25, 2011
"He asked me why I love a building. So I began to list all the reasons I find my
darling so amazing.
“No,” the doctor interrupts. “WHY do you love a building and not a person?”
he set his pencil to his notepad.
“I don’t know WHY. I only know that I do and I always have.” I explain yet
again to another psychologist. I shift uncomfortably in my seat as the doctor pokes
into my past for answers.
No, I was not abused as a child. Yes, my parents divorced. No, my mother
didn’t drink while pregnant. Yes, I had some trouble in school. The weekly sessions
go on and on until they can find some way of putting me in a neat little box with a
label to explain away my love for objects.
That label should simply say that I am an objectum-sexual individual but no.
It says some new fangled disorder they came up with followed by some prescription
drug with a fat booklet of side-effects.
They tell me I should love a person. They tell me it is wrong to love a building
because the pieces don’t fit. And what pieces are they referring to? Clearly, not
the ones in my heart that feel so right with my object love."
posted by Malice at 6:15 PM on June 25, 2011
Which "her" is that, Malice?
posted by Hildegarde at 7:48 PM on June 25, 2011
posted by Hildegarde at 7:48 PM on June 25, 2011
Sorry, I don't remember her name. The woman is the one 'married' to the tower. The link is above.
posted by Malice at 8:06 PM on June 25, 2011
posted by Malice at 8:06 PM on June 25, 2011
How does one fit a condom on the Eiffel tower without breaking it (one or the other)?
posted by porpoise at 11:16 PM on June 25, 2011
posted by porpoise at 11:16 PM on June 25, 2011
One would think the perfect inanimate object to fall in love with would be a dildo, vibrating models notwithstanding as technically they could be called animated.
How no one mentioned this before now astounds me.
Either that or I have a dirty mind.
posted by bwg at 1:09 AM on June 26, 2011
How no one mentioned this before now astounds me.
Either that or I have a dirty mind.
posted by bwg at 1:09 AM on June 26, 2011
neuromodulator: Or is the difference simply that I'm imagining a context-less man doing so while I had lots of introduction to these women
Possibly. Course, there's context for the guys in the Real Doll documentary, and a lot of people found them creepy.
Would you say that about a man insisting on fucking and/or jerking off on the Eiffel Tower?
Hmm. For me, the documentary Real Dolls guys' control-freak interactions with faux-but-lifelike "women" = creepy. Guys using Fleshlights, not creepy. Guys jerking off on Eiffel Tower, creepier than I find these women. Why? Don't know. Less creepy if they cleaned their spooge off afterwards. Maybe it's a matter of body fluids left in public spaces?
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 1:51 AM on June 26, 2011
Possibly. Course, there's context for the guys in the Real Doll documentary, and a lot of people found them creepy.
Would you say that about a man insisting on fucking and/or jerking off on the Eiffel Tower?
Hmm. For me, the documentary Real Dolls guys' control-freak interactions with faux-but-lifelike "women" = creepy. Guys using Fleshlights, not creepy. Guys jerking off on Eiffel Tower, creepier than I find these women. Why? Don't know. Less creepy if they cleaned their spooge off afterwards. Maybe it's a matter of body fluids left in public spaces?
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 1:51 AM on June 26, 2011
Oh my. I've been to that amusement park and I've ridden that 1001 Nacht ride. It was fun, but I didn't get as much out of the experience as is possible, apparently.
posted by Spatch at 3:46 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Spatch at 3:46 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
Sorry, I haven't read the FPP or the posts but I wanted to tell you about a dream I had at six o'clock this morning. The Eiffel Tower, swaying dangerously in high winds, fell over. I made my way to the very top floor, after the collapse, and I played "St. James Infirmary Blues" on a ramshackle backstage piano. The lyrics seemed to fit: "Let her go, let her go, God bless her."
posted by kozad at 9:14 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by kozad at 9:14 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
So I am editing my friend's essays for her grad school thesis. This week she sent me an essay about how when she was a kid she REALLY LOVED TELEVISION. Really. It was her best friend, she was obsessed with it, she totally loved it better than anything... And then she saw this documentary on television. And promptly told the TV, "Hey, let's just be friends..."
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:49 PM on June 26, 2011
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:49 PM on June 26, 2011
Ooooh thanks for the links, 3 new documentaries to check out.
posted by Theta States at 8:01 AM on June 27, 2011
posted by Theta States at 8:01 AM on June 27, 2011
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posted by Horace Rumpole at 9:19 AM on June 25, 2011