Nipplepotamus, and other Cultural Signposts
December 9, 2011 12:59 AM   Subscribe

Slow Dance Chubby got me. It's still an excruciatingly bad band name though.

Imagine 20 years from now, a former member rhapsodising about his days in a band to his teenaged daughter, ultimately trying to explain why it was funny at the time, and why she shouldn't dance with boys. Ever.
posted by flippant at 2:21 AM on December 9, 2011

Cliteater has the best album cover.
posted by Renoroc at 4:28 AM on December 9, 2011

There's a local thrash metal or something band that sometimes plays a bar up the street from me, called 'Shitkicker'. Written in gothic script, of course. I really want that on a t-shirt.
posted by Flashman at 5:24 AM on December 9, 2011

The Fluffy Areolas played at a gross bar down the street the other day.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:29 AM on December 9, 2011

Some of these are pretty great actually. I like the ones in the comments section even more "Ani DiFranco’s Dick" "Heart Attack Ack-Ack-Ack-Ack-Ack" "We Have A Sitar" ...

I also love the AV Club commenter's faux-obsession with the band Dawes, who are good but probably not this good:

"Names are irrelevant in the post-Dawes world."

"I think Cliteater needs to be the new Dawes. Dawes can still be the old Dawes. "

"The concept of Dawes cannot be encapsulated by any mere human tongue.

The closest physical description of a Dawes album can be found in the primordial texts of the Great Old Ones; who themselves exist beyond any tangible or measurable plane of existence. Dawes doesn't "exist" as we would understand it: for Dawes is not something that can be contained in any concept that man can describe or experience"

"Silly Mohd! You still believe in Dawes? They are but a folk tale! A legend, passed down through the comment boards! They do no-98hbgew;.-

posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:31 AM on December 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

I liked the name 'The Local Skank' much better after I learned they're a female ska band.
posted by box at 5:43 AM on December 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also, hey, there's a band named tl;dr.
posted by box at 5:46 AM on December 9, 2011

And, hey hey, A Winged Victory for the Sullen, which I've mentioned here before, is 'probably one of the top 10 all-time worst names we’ve encountered since starting this feature.‬'
posted by box at 5:54 AM on December 9, 2011

▼†††▲IIII▲††††▲ZZZZ▼ (pronounced "Spooky")
posted by griphus at 6:19 AM on December 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wow, they weren't kidding. Crazy Crazy Awesome Awesome really is the worst band in the world.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 6:31 AM on December 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

The husband and I have long had a theory that the more sublimely ridiculous/creative a band name is, the worse the band is.

But our favorite band name story is the time one of his friends got called by a club owner with a timeslot to fill. Friend was not currently in a band, but cobbled together a bunch of musician friends to play a fairly horrible set. And called it Coach, I'm Queer, which to this day, is still my favorite band name ever.
posted by emjaybee at 7:22 AM on December 9, 2011

Have another fun repository for band names.

Apparently this all started when a college guy was trying to name his band and got stumped, and posted an empty piece of paper on the door to his dorm room begging for ideas. He got so many that he decided to just keep the list going and become a sort of online "band name idea database" for other people. He grouped in various categories (with a special list for his all time favorites) and tried to throw a little promotion to bands who found their own names on his site.

It hasn't been updated in a while, but I really, really hope that someday a band somewhere really decides to name itself "The End Of All Male Guilt".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:57 AM on December 9, 2011

Aw... "Kittens in the Engine" just made me sad.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 9:37 AM on December 9, 2011

I actually know a dude in "Shitty Fucker". Hi Little Mark!
posted by josher71 at 9:41 AM on December 9, 2011

Wait. I also know someone in Nudity. Hi Dave!
posted by josher71 at 9:42 AM on December 9, 2011

Oh boy. I also know someone in Personal and the Pizzas! Hi Dillon!
posted by josher71 at 9:46 AM on December 9, 2011

Used to be a band in my town called Scheisse Minelli.
posted by TheRedArmy at 10:18 AM on December 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

wow I just listened to a lot of really bad music.
posted by Hoopo at 11:12 AM on December 9, 2011

Alright, which one of you is in TL;DR
posted by the painkiller at 11:56 AM on December 9, 2011

(The AV Club's commenters are talking about Dawes because there was an effusive Newswire story a few months ago that many suspected was actually a sponsored post and they reacted angrily to it. Since then, pretty much every thread has had an over-the-top mention of the band, but it's more of a playful eff-you--or just the usual comment section nihilism--and doesn't have anything to do with the band itself.)
posted by Ian A.T. at 12:31 PM on December 9, 2011

ah, The Shitty Beatles - are they any good?
posted by mannequito at 1:45 PM on December 9, 2011

They suck.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:52 PM on December 9, 2011

What?! Band reminded me of something my husband and I were discussing the other night. His question was which came first, The Guess Who or The Who? The answer is slightly complicated because The Who had their name first (1964) but while The Guess Who were formed in 1960, they weren't given the "Guess Who?" attribution until 1965.

1960 Local Winnipeg group calls themselves Al & The Silvertones

1962 Change their name to Chad Allen & The Reflections

1965 The Reflections is an established band in America so the name is changed to Chad Allen & The Expressions

1965 Quality Records releases one of their singles by "Guess Who?" in hopes people might think somebody famous recorded the song. DJs continue to call the group "Guess Who?" even after the band's real name is released.

1966 Chad Allen leaves the group so they officially change the name to The Guess Who?

1968 They drop the question mark.

And there you have your Band Name Trivia for the day.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 2:32 PM on December 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

If it weren't for the links for most of these you'd be inclined to believe the A.V. Club was just making this shit up.
posted by tommasz at 4:05 PM on December 9, 2011

"Deer Bear" pretty much sums it up for me.
posted by Ratio at 5:03 PM on December 9, 2011

OTOH, "Dear Beer" could be a pretty good band name.
posted by aaronetc at 5:57 PM on December 9, 2011

This is a game that my friends and I play, coming up with ridiculous band names. Bonus points for also figuring out what genre they play. A friend maintains the list of these names, I'll see if I can get her to post it.
posted by X-Himy at 9:42 AM on December 10, 2011

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