"Man's Body Left on Front Porch After Funeral Home Isn't Paid for His Cremation."
October 9, 2001 3:39 PM   Subscribe

"Man's Body Left on Front Porch After Funeral Home Isn't Paid for His Cremation." Ah, American Death Inc.--gotta love 'em. Any other stories like this out there? Not that all funeral homes are so um efficiently run.
posted by aflakete (19 comments total)
 
This story comes to mind, although it's not a funeral home story.

This one, however, is.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:58 PM on October 9, 2001


I grew up in a funeral home that isn't owned by the big corporations. You wouldn't believe how many people arrange for the most expensive funerals they can get and then never pay. Independent funeral homes get the screwgie all the time. My dad is still getting paid in tomatoes from a family that overspent their budget three years ago. Tomatoes.
posted by ColdChef at 4:35 PM on October 9, 2001


I'm not worried about the money. We'll cover the expenses," Miller said. "I just want to make this thing right."

"...and jebus knows, i could't buy publicity like this for $1200 anywhere."
posted by quonsar at 4:41 PM on October 9, 2001


Uh, CC: credit references? collection agencies? sales staff that is not recruited from car dealerships? These are ideas to investigate. Not to be cruel, just realistic. People in grief are often taken advantage of, too, and you show the other side of the story: "We want the best for him, we'll find a way to pay", without anybody telling them, "...But we believe you can afford just this."
posted by dhartung at 4:51 PM on October 9, 2001


That's a good point Cold_Chef. I guess it's the way people look at the whole issue of What To Do With The Remains that's interesting to me. People should pay for what they want. People should also be able to choose to pay less than they have to, and be informed of little facts like bodies decay faster in airtight coffins (anaerobic bacteria love this environment).

Good links mr_crash_davis.
posted by aflakete at 4:56 PM on October 9, 2001


Sales staff that is not recruited from car dealerships?

In family run funeral homes, there typically isn't a "sales staff." There are a few staffers who handle everything from comforting the bereaved to selling the services to embalming and preparing the body and making burial/cremation arrangements. In most states, in fact, one must be a licensed funeral director in order to be able to legally sell funeral services or products to anyone in a time of need or pre-planning capacity.

It's unfortunate but true that there are funeral homes which will bilk grieving families and families which figure that there's not a lot a funeral home can do if they don't pay after the fact. The fact is that people will inevitably need the services of funeral homes; the best thing for all parties is to have a relationship with your funeral directors of choice before you need them.
posted by Dreama at 5:23 PM on October 9, 2001


Thomas Lynch's book The Undertaking is an excellent collection of essays about life, death, and mortality. Mr. Lynch is a poet and funeral director, so the book is very well written and provides some behind-the-scenes insight into funeral homes.

ColdChef: Tomatoes

That reminds me of the potato matinees they had in my dad's hometown. But that was during the Depression.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:20 PM on October 9, 2001 [1 favorite]


the best thing for all parties is to have a relationship with your funeral directors of choice before you need them

Only if she's cute.
posted by rushmc at 6:21 PM on October 9, 2001


They could have waited for mischeif night, the night begfore Halloween.
posted by Postroad at 7:35 PM on October 9, 2001


Well, the guy was a deadbeat.
posted by khisel at 7:52 PM on October 9, 2001


$1200 for a cremation? Sheesh, what do you get for money like that? I mean, wood might cost $50 bucks -- max. Then there's the professional cryers -- ten -- at maybe $35 bucks a pop. Carfare for the relatives is anywhere from $1.50 to $2.00 transfer included. A pint of Wild Turkey to be consumed sur place by each mourner is what -- five bucks? -- times whoever shows up. You know, maybe it's me but I don't see where they get $1200.
posted by leo at 9:12 PM on October 9, 2001


read this elsewhere yesterday

while it was a crass thing for the funeral home to do, it's still just a dead guy

if you can't afford a funeral, don't have one

it's a luxury, not a necessity
posted by yesster at 6:45 AM on October 10, 2001


There are alternatives to over-priced funerals. One example: People's Memorial Association, a Seattle-based group. When my parents died, their PMA pre-planning made things much easier for me. [I belong, too.]
posted by Carol Anne at 7:18 AM on October 10, 2001


Don't forget companies like Casket Royale, who will sell caskets direct to the public at prices far below what funeral homes charge.

And, of course, Jessica Mitford's "The American Way of Death" is a must-read.
posted by briank at 7:52 AM on October 10, 2001


(whoops, should have checked aflakete's other link in the original post, sorry)
posted by briank at 7:53 AM on October 10, 2001


Often when I answer someone else's phone, I do it by saying "City Morgue, we deliver."

Who knew some fuck would run with it.
posted by dong_resin at 8:00 AM on October 10, 2001


Companies like Casket Royale are not permitted to sell caskets directly to the public in every state. And even if you can buy your own casket, you still have to find a place to put it. One of the single largest charges involved with the disposition of the decedent is the charge for the burial plot. (Which is why more and more people are choosing cremation.) Even if you already own the plot itself, the charge for the excavation and interrment can still run upwards of a $1,000. Like I said, have a relationship and pre-plan when you can!
posted by Dreama at 8:14 AM on October 10, 2001


Companies like Casket Royale are not permitted to sell caskets directly to the public in every state.
Those funeral home directors paid for some nice laws, didn't they?

And even if you can buy your own casket, you still have to find a place to put it.
How about the back yard? No? That's illegal too?

If I have it in my will that I wish to have my body picked up by the rendering truck, that I don't want an ambulance to be called simply to move my body around a bit and get it to a doctor to declare it dead, will such wishes be honored?
posted by yesster at 10:31 AM on October 10, 2001


There's another book which I haven't read which might be good called The Profits of Death by Darryl R. Roberts. I heard him on NPR's Public Interest back in '98-'99 (I can't find the show in the Archives now), seemed interesting, though he was a bit melodramatic. That's where I got the bit about anaerobic bacteria.
posted by aflakete at 11:25 AM on October 10, 2001


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