Legal fun with SeanBaby
October 18, 2001 1:46 PM   Subscribe

Legal fun with SeanBaby - The Probe sinks its teeth into America's favorite pasttime - morons using the legal system to profit from their own idiocy.
posted by badstone (14 comments total)
Hilarious. I'm now going to sue you for making me laugh 'cause now my face muscles are a little sore.
posted by Hackworth at 2:23 PM on October 18, 2001

Yes, yes, people sue too much. Nothing new here. What gets me is the people who tend to complain about this (about individuals screwing companies out of money whenever they can) are the same ones who'll use their last breath defending the American Capitalist Way--whereby companies are allowed to screw individuals whenever it's in their interest.

That's not directed at you, badstone. I'm just saying, is all.

P.S. You don't have to be a "moron" to get your leg gnawed off by a shark.
posted by jpoulos at 2:23 PM on October 18, 2001

I'm suing you too, jpoulos, for harshing my mello.
posted by Hackworth at 2:26 PM on October 18, 2001

P.S. You don't have to be a "moron" to get your leg gnawed off by a shark.

oops, good point, my bad. just got too caught up in calling people morons! and yeah, i do understand where suing has its place, and its also a tired comedy schtick - however, sean baby can bring any dead horse back to life.
posted by badstone at 2:29 PM on October 18, 2001

P.S. You don't have to be a "moron" to get your leg gnawed off by a shark.

No, but one does have to be a moron to get one's leg gnawed off by a shark and then sue the resort where you were staying, as if it's their fault that the man took a personal risk by entering the ocean, where man-eating creatures dwell.

It's absurd that a growing number of people nowadays refuse to take responsibility for their actions. If you don't want to get your leg gnawed off by a shark, then stay out of the ocean. Works for me. If you do choose to swim in the ocean, enjoy yourself but be advised that there are certain risks (e.g., jellyfish, sharks, The Under Toad, etc.)

From the article: The litigant is also planning on suing the resort for not making it clear that sharks existed ...

Does everything have to have a disclaimer on it now? Will my new house have a sticker on the inside of the front door that says, "DANGER: Bad things could happen outside. Do not exit"? Hell, if I go outside and get hit by a car or robbed or carried off by a pteranodon or have a safe dropped on my head as I walk down the street, I'll just sue the contractor and the realtor. They should have advised me not to go outside because danger exists. (But what if I slip in the bathtub and hit my head on the faucet and die? Aieeee!)
posted by chuq at 3:06 PM on October 18, 2001

Come now, jpoulous -- you didn't really read the article now did you? I can tell, because if you had you would have read paragraphs like this (in reference to an anti-defamation group suing the producers of the Sopranos because they claim the show portrays all Italians as mobsters):

They claim that the problem with the Sopranos is that it makes it look like most members of the Italian mafia are of Italian descent. ... [But] here's a hard fact of reality hitting you in the face: There may come a day when a jar of intergalactic peanut butter makes all of our television programs magically come to life. And then, yes, every single Italian person would be a hard-nosed mob enforcer. But by the same logic, every single millionaire playboy would be Batman. So itwould all even out in the end, and maybe even be better once you consider how we'd also have Flipper.

And then you woulda posted "Ha ha. Funny." instead of givin' us all a heapin' helpin' of killjoy. I'm guessing.

P.s. Ha ha. Funny.
posted by Shadowkeeper at 3:28 PM on October 18, 2001

Finally a subject on which I have real, bona fide, official credentials from accredited institutions.

And yet, I have nothing to say.
posted by ParisParamus at 3:38 PM on October 18, 2001

*Mellow-harshing diatribe withdrawn*

Ha-ha, funny. :-)
posted by jpoulos at 4:51 PM on October 18, 2001

Thank you, thank you. For my next trick, I shall now sue skallas for being a sour puss. No more ass kissing for me!
posted by Hackworth at 6:05 PM on October 18, 2001

Nobody is saying that people shouldn't have the right to sue, Skallas. You're right, too, that SeanBaby couldn't possibly have all of the facts in that particular case.

However, what he's trying to bring to light is the amount of frivolous and idiotic lawsuits that clog our court systems these days. It appears that taking responsibility or liability for one's self is no longer practiced by a great majority of folks. Instead, any mishap or incident that happens to someone is blamed on other forces.

To say that people are "jealous" of others who take advantage of the system with these lawsuits is ludicrous. I shake my head in disgust at them and pity the poor people who have to spend their time, energy and money hiring their own lawyers to defend themselves against that type of crap.
posted by cyniczny at 7:07 PM on October 18, 2001

I'm still trying to decide if "jar of intergalactic peanut butter" is funny or not.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:23 PM on October 18, 2001 = funny as hell.
posted by dopamine at 9:09 PM on October 18, 2001

as a seanbaby reader babe, who gives a fuck anyway? don't you have anything more worthwhile to discuss? like my tits?
posted by natasharama at 7:53 AM on October 19, 2001

Natasha, I don't know for sure, but I'm gonna guess that the hitcount on your site just went through the roof. Nothing boosts readership like saying "my tits" on the web.

By the way, they're very nice. :-)
posted by jpoulos at 10:57 AM on October 19, 2001

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