Dear Reader, I texted him.
July 9, 2012 12:36 PM Subscribe
Texts from Jane Eyre. Texts from Scarlett O'Hara. On a more serious note, Text Messages From A Ghost and The Return of Ghost. (Mallory Ortberg for The Hairpin)
Wherll I go or do
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
2morrow another day!!!!
Yes I know it is asynchronous communication with no ack back and they really can't do that.
posted by tilde at 12:51 PM on July 9, 2012
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
2morrow another day!!!!
Your texts have been blocked by the recipient.
Yes I know it is asynchronous communication with no ack back and they really can't do that.
posted by tilde at 12:51 PM on July 9, 2012
I love the two Ghost installments.
posted by Phire at 12:52 PM on July 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Phire at 12:52 PM on July 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
The Jane Eyre ones are alarmingly reminiscent of Rick & Louis.
posted by elizardbits at 12:57 PM on July 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 12:57 PM on July 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
Yeah, the Ghost installments are fabulous. Really nice storytelling.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:03 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:03 PM on July 9, 2012
The Scarlett thing is so right on. Her relationship with Melanie is my favorite part of the whole book/movie. "Oh, Scarlett, you're so full of life." No. She is a FUCKED-UP BITCH.
posted by Madamina at 1:04 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Madamina at 1:04 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
I dunno, St. John doesn't come across as nearly creepy-Nice-Guys-Club enough for me here.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:10 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by shakespeherian at 1:10 PM on July 9, 2012
Oh shit the ghost ones snuck up on me and now I am crying.
posted by KathrynT at 1:12 PM on July 9, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by KathrynT at 1:12 PM on July 9, 2012 [4 favorites]
The ghost ones are great.
posted by quid pro quo at 1:52 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by quid pro quo at 1:52 PM on July 9, 2012
I will never think of Tarzan the same way again after seeing Magic Mike
posted by Madamina at 1:59 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Madamina at 1:59 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
That movie was so disappointing. Why would you talk about feelings in a movie about butts? WE ARE NOT HERE FOR FEELINGS. WE ARE HERE FOR BUTTS.
posted by elizardbits at 2:01 PM on July 9, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 2:01 PM on July 9, 2012 [4 favorites]
No, no. The Jane Eyre ones were clever and Scarlett was funny and then suddenly we had that very sad ghost one? False advertising.
posted by jeather at 2:04 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by jeather at 2:04 PM on July 9, 2012
Oh my the Ghost ones are so surprisingly brilliant.
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:13 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:13 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
Here's a list of Signs You'll Never Read In Your Office's Communal Kitchen by the same author if you need cheering up again.
posted by maryr at 2:15 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by maryr at 2:15 PM on July 9, 2012
The texts from ghost made me cry at my desk when I first read them. It was embarassing and I love them so much.
posted by whitneyarner at 2:17 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by whitneyarner at 2:17 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
I can't get over "pocket witch." That's a perfect mix of Jane Eyre's Rochester and modern-day sensibilities.
Also, Jane's inexplicably hearing Rochester call her name would make so much more sense he'd pocket-dialed her in the middle of one of his little melodramas and her iPhone was somewhere in the damned room, on speaker, but she couldn't find it.
posted by tzikeh at 2:22 PM on July 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
Also, Jane's inexplicably hearing Rochester call her name would make so much more sense he'd pocket-dialed her in the middle of one of his little melodramas and her iPhone was somewhere in the damned room, on speaker, but she couldn't find it.
posted by tzikeh at 2:22 PM on July 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
I wasn't entirely sold on the Jane texts, and the Scarlett texts were amusing trifles (Scarlett and Prissy adopting txtspk is a nice detail) but the Ghost ones...wow.
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:24 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:24 PM on July 9, 2012
Ghost. Hold me.
posted by kamikazegopher at 2:28 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by kamikazegopher at 2:28 PM on July 9, 2012
A sad ending for a ghost, but not full of pathos.
posted by ChuraChura at 3:10 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by ChuraChura at 3:10 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
Gosh, thanks, Ghost, I had to sit in my car crying for a while after work.
posted by Occula at 4:04 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by Occula at 4:04 PM on July 9, 2012
Oh, I totally laughed at Scarlett and reposted it, but didn't read the Ghost stories til now. Oh, my heart. Who knew texts could be that beautiful?
posted by chatongriffes at 4:23 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by chatongriffes at 4:23 PM on July 9, 2012
melis! my internet streams have crossed
posted by maryrussell at 8:12 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by maryrussell at 8:12 PM on July 9, 2012
I haven't read the others yet, but the Jane Eyre texts are basically perfect.
do you really want me to describe my walk to you
posted by moss at 8:34 PM on July 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
do you really want me to describe my walk to you
posted by moss at 8:34 PM on July 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
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posted by mothershock at 12:47 PM on July 9, 2012 [10 favorites]