TIRED OF BRAND X?

January 4, 2013 1:20 PM

An insert house provides labels and covers for products in TV and film production to avoid legal problems and Earl Hays Press is the big granddaddy of them all so why not enter an alternate off-brand universe of Butt Beer, Captain Sugarr, and Sports Page today?
posted by The Whelk (54 comments total)

So "Strokin the Love Muffin" isn't a real book? That's too bad.
posted by Area Man at 1:24 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Amazing. I'd hoped that the wintergreen gum ad that seems to show up on the back of many sitcom magazines would be here. Alas, it's not.
posted by jquinby at 1:24 PM on January 4, 2013

My father-in-law made a living as a professional extra for many years, and once gave my wife a prop can of "Bod Licht"... sadly I think it's been permanently misplaced, as it's a perfect bar trinket/conversation piece... :-/
posted by rodeoclown at 1:26 PM on January 4, 2013

Oh, the books page is gold. Baggin' babes with Poetry!
posted by COBRA! at 1:27 PM on January 4, 2013 [4 favorites]

this is an amazing link and somebody handsome and intelligent must have brought it to your attention.
posted by boo_radley at 1:28 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

The Sex Lives of the Nazis!
posted by COBRA! at 1:28 PM on January 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

COBRA!: "Oh, the books page is gold. Baggin' babes with Poetry!"

"The sex-lives of the Nazis"?
posted by boo_radley at 1:29 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

"JD and Dr. Cox's Shaved The Baby Story?" This isn't from Scrubs or something?
posted by jquinby at 1:30 PM on January 4, 2013

STEPHEN KNIGHT'S ENTRAILS
posted by Artw at 1:30 PM on January 4, 2013

OMG the liquor ones are hilarious. J&R Whisky, Bar Fly Label Scotch, Snotlikaya Vodka, Cutter's Ark Scots Whisky...

Someone must have had a blast coming up with these.
posted by Daily Alice at 1:31 PM on January 4, 2013

It is interesting to me how much the Music CD's [sic] completely fail to look like professionally designed album covers. Magazines look great, comics are decent, but CDs and Albums look like nothing I've ever seen in a music store.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 1:32 PM on January 4, 2013

A friend of mine just made it into a comic as a brand of beer - his name is Molcher and "Two Molchers, coming up" sounds just right - which Was a cause of much celebration and joking from people who know him on Twitter.
posted by Artw at 1:33 PM on January 4, 2013

Ah, Heisler -- for years I thought you were a real brand of beer with a big product-placement budget, but you're just a convincing fake. It's a good thing I'm not a beer drinker, otherwise I might have ordered you at a bar sometime.

Adding: See also ISS props.
posted by AzraelBrown at 1:37 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

I am so powerfully excited by this site that I can barely express it. I'm weirdly obsessed with all the fake genericized stuff in movies and... and here it is. Here it is. I HAVE GOOGLED HEISLER BEER BEFORE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT WAS AND MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT THE DEEP MEANING OF WHY A CHARACTER WOULD DRINK THAT
posted by whitneyarner at 1:37 PM on January 4, 2013

Oh and I would love to have an ice cold can of Flazzle brand cola. While listening to Cathead's timeless classic CD "Zoonrects Unleashed".
posted by Daily Alice at 1:39 PM on January 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

My father-in-law made a living as a professional extra for many years

I've been raking in the bucks lately as an extra for reality TV shows. Due to a bizarre genetic anomaly, my head is actually a vague blurry version of a head.

Perhaps you've seen my work.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:44 PM on January 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

I seem to recall a whole plot point in Waterworld revolving around SMEAT
posted by whitneyarner at 1:44 PM on January 4, 2013

I would read the comic Nimphidia and the Muses Elizium.
posted by brain_drain at 1:52 PM on January 4, 2013

"She's 3rd Brightest But Hard 'Gal' To See."
posted by 1f2frfbf at 1:54 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

/attempts to slip in copy of The King in Yellow.
posted by Artw at 1:54 PM on January 4, 2013

"Prink"- someone at the Harmonic household just got a new nick. >:)

Guessing the man's version of this fashion mag would be something like, Slank?
posted by Phyllis Harmonic at 1:54 PM on January 4, 2013

I already saw this link on Megafilter.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:56 PM on January 4, 2013 [10 favorites]

Also, see this morning's thread.
posted by Cash4Lead at 1:56 PM on January 4, 2013

It was on Metalifter, too, TLF.
posted by Phyllis Harmonic at 1:57 PM on January 4, 2013

Oh my God. Playpen.

I have seen the Playpen magazine in so, so many movies and TV shows that I guess I just assumed it was an inside joke of some kind. Now I know.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 1:58 PM on January 4, 2013

six places you'll recognize from the background of every movie including the Quality Cafe
posted by the man of twists and turns at 2:00 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

I wish this post had come out last night. I was on a bar set for a television show, and I could have taken some pictures of the bottles. We were having fun coming up with slogans for Snelby's Gin.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:00 PM on January 4, 2013

He Is Only The Imposter: "It is interesting to me how much the Music CD's [sic] completely fail to look like professionally designed album covers. Magazines look great, comics are decent, but CDs and Albums look like nothing I've ever seen in a music store."

The 90's were a different time. A different place.
posted by boo_radley at 2:02 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

It was on Metalifter, too, TLF.

Ouch. You got me. I've been using TLF instead of twoleftfeet for all of my postings to the Papua New Guinea version of Metafilter (because they speak Telefol there.) They actually pay me a lot to comment.

It's embarrassing when somebody here notices that I've been doing that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:06 PM on January 4, 2013

twoleftfeet: "I've been using TLF"

I was confused and thought you were talking about that cable channel that was all about Portland and Seattle for a sec.
posted by boo_radley at 2:18 PM on January 4, 2013

This website was only created as viral marketing for an upcoming movie.
posted by mrnutty at 2:23 PM on January 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

that cable channel that was all about Portland and Seattle

No, you must be thinking of TLF - "Those Little Fuckers". I'm pretty sure that show was filmed in LA.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:23 PM on January 4, 2013

mmmmno, I was thinking of The Learning Flannel. You know, the channel with that reality show about spoiled rotten donut makers? Little Honey Voodoo?
posted by boo_radley at 2:27 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Something about the "Owner," "Sales Manager," and "Sales Rep" titles being in quotation marks for a company that makes fake products strikes me as supremely funny. I think Ralph Hernandez Jr. might just be a cardboard cutout of a person.
posted by vytae at 2:31 PM on January 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

The levels that they go to in order to make the beer labels look like real brands is amazing. Doesn't that border close to some sort of copyright/trademark infringement? If you're going to make a fake beer, wouldn't you want it to not look like Corona or Bud if the whole point is to avoid legal problems?
posted by asnider at 2:33 PM on January 4, 2013

I think this whole concept is interesting because it represents a kind of reverse product placement. You've got these nonexistent brands showing up in movie after movie, so why not try to promote them as real products? Did you know that The Simpsons' Duff Beer is available in the UK and maybe Colombia?
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:37 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Eat Me, Drink Me was Poisonous Mushroom's last really great album.
posted by deborah at 2:41 PM on January 4, 2013

This website was only created as viral marketing for an upcoming movie.

They haven't got a lot of marketing muscle on their own, but when they get their resources together and are in it for the long haul, Big Legume and Big Crockery really know how to get people overthinking their product.
posted by ambrosen at 2:51 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

One thing I regret not getting around to visiting while I was in LA was the Bronson Canyon.
posted by mrzarquon at 3:16 PM on January 4, 2013

this is an amazing link and somebody handsome and intelligent must have brought it to your attention

@phoebenorth is both those things are more.
posted by The Whelk at 3:21 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

And more.

Are more is the film version knock off.
posted by The Whelk at 3:27 PM on January 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

It's all good fun until someone starts putting wasps on the generic ice cream decals.
posted by passerby at 3:29 PM on January 4, 2013

CORN SHOOTERS
posted by The Whelk at 3:31 PM on January 4, 2013

Mmmmm... Smeat.
posted by ckape at 4:16 PM on January 4, 2013

I wish they'd give examples of movies or shows where these things were used. None of them look that familiar to me... Although a lot of the CD covers do look like the cheapo "greatest hits" compilation CDs they used to have in a big bin at Tower Records.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 4:18 PM on January 4, 2013

Why would I ever tire of modern prog-jazz featuring the future Mrs. Genesis?
posted by clvrmnky at 5:50 PM on January 4, 2013

Mr Goudas is a brand of products in Canada with packaging that looks so fake -- beyond outlandish and well into absurdly garish -- that only when you are confronted by several hundred shelf-feet of it at the grocery can you appreciate that it isn't a joke. It's actually really great stuff, well priced, and his company is pretty well regarded, too.

... I think my favourite Mr Goudas label is the 9 bean mix.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:37 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Friendly reminder that the Golden Gaytime ice cream bar is not on this list because it is 100% real.
posted by elizardbits at 7:14 PM on January 4, 2013

I like Generic Brands but I worry that they don't have any competition. I don't like monopolies.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:01 PM on January 4, 2013

I like Generic Brands but I worry that they don't have any competition. I don't like monopolies.

The first generic brands that really became mainstream were from Ralphs Grocery in California, back in the 1980s. They were also used as movie props in the film Repo Man, they aren't from an insert house, they are real Ralphs products. It's one of the themes of the movie, there's only one one fake product, in a scene where Otto eats straight from a can labeled Food.
posted by charlie don't surf at 8:46 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

a scene where Otto eats straight from a can labeled Food

Here it is: FOOD

"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."

Repo Man is a great film. Thanks for reminding me. I've gotta watch that one again.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:54 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

It is interesting to me how much the Music CD's [sic] completely fail to look like professionally designed album covers. Magazines look great, comics are decent, but CDs and Albums look like nothing I've ever seen in a music store.

I think they’re supposed to look like a CD from across the room, barely visible. It’s a different thing. I don’t think anyone’s going to hold them up to the camera. If they were subtle you might not be able to tell what they were.
posted by bongo_x at 9:35 PM on January 4, 2013

Mr Goudas is a brand of products in Canada with packaging that looks so fake -- beyond outlandish and well into absurdly garish -- that only when you are confronted by several hundred shelf-feet of it at the grocery can you appreciate that it isn't a joke. It's actually really great stuff, well priced, and his company is pretty well regarded, too.

I've never even heard of Mr. Goudas, but I recognize many of the brands that are, apparently, sub-brands of Mr. Goudas, including Patak's, Primo and Unico.
posted by asnider at 12:58 PM on January 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

The levels that they go to in order to make the beer labels look like real brands is amazing. Doesn't that border close to some sort of copyright/trademark infringement?

The "almost-looks-like-a-Coke-can-but-not-quite" nature of those designs is a product-packaging Uncanny Valley that I find unbelievably distracting when I see it onscreen. Especially when I know it's a ripoff of something I've seen before but can't quite place. (E.g. BK-18 on the books page, which riffs on the paperback cover from Charles Willeford's Miami Blues.)
posted by Lazlo Nibble at 3:56 PM on January 5, 2013