plez donnut stel

April 13, 2013 11:57 AM

Superb merbio bros. gr8 game 4 nintendy entertainment cycstem. u buy now! all copyroughts to nintendy corp.

_{the premise of the PSA is debatable, but the video is pretty cool!}

posted by codacorolla (34 comments total)

the premise of the PSA is debatable

Quite.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:01 PM on April 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

That was weird.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:02 PM on April 13, 2013

So it's barking mad Mario mashup day then?
posted by The Whelk at 12:15 PM on April 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

The premise of the video seems to be "If we convince people they are having a terrible acid flashback, they won't pirate software"
posted by lumpenprole at 12:15 PM on April 13, 2013 [8 favorites]

Sad thing is, the game in the video looks about a thousand times more fun than what Nintendo has been churning out lately.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:24 PM on April 13, 2013 [19 favorites]

I love that kid. He should be in EVERY GAME.
posted by JHarris at 12:53 PM on April 13, 2013 [5 favorites]

CRIMER: Iam piritng... (puts on sunglasses) all theMairos
posted by infinitewindow at 12:58 PM on April 13, 2013 [24 favorites]

The implications of that EVERY GAME statement:
He should be in Sonic the Hedgehog.
He should be in Tetris.
He should be in Street Fighter 2; he'd just randomly mess the players up.
He should be in The Legend of Zelda. He'd be randomly hidden in the caves, shout his weird barky fight noises, and throw Link the fuck out.
He should be in Combat, where he'd require quite the software trickery to render. It would be worth it.
He should be in Adventure. What's inside the Black Castle, Rhindle, the Bat, or annoying fighty kid?
He should be in Nethack: a yellow lower-case h. Impossible to harm, impossible to escape from, he just gets in your way when you're being chased by upper-case Ds. Sometimes he steals your pets.
He should be in Metal Gear Solid. Hell, knowing Kojima he probably already is.
posted by JHarris at 12:59 PM on April 13, 2013 [4 favorites]

As best I can tell, it's not about gamers playing pirated games. It's to discourage game developers from developing games based on someone else's intellectual property.
posted by blue t-shirt at 1:01 PM on April 13, 2013

He should definitely be in Madden NFL 25.
posted by oulipian at 1:03 PM on April 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

Ok, so a pirated game is just a copy with some DRM circumvented. The actual game code itself is untouched, whatever bugs there are are the bugs it shipped with. So in reality this PSA's argument is "don't pirate or you won't get our patches pushed from the update server for the buggy piece of shit we rushed out the door."
posted by jason_steakums at 1:26 PM on April 13, 2013 [9 favorites]

Also? I would play this version of Mario in a heartbeat.
posted by jason_steakums at 1:27 PM on April 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

Yeah, this was a Dutch commercial about software piracy from ages ago.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:30 PM on April 13, 2013

Sign me up for 2.5D Glitch Mario!
posted by Nelson at 1:54 PM on April 13, 2013

There's a reason they didn't use glitched Metroid.
posted by ersatz at 1:55 PM on April 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

this is not a safe environment for a child

where was the father
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 2:15 PM on April 13, 2013 [6 favorites]

When I was growing up in Eugene, OR there was a mom and pop software shoppe in a strip mall next to a The Countries Best Yogurt. Even at the young age it was I thought it was crazy that they rented copies of any software they had in stock. My family was much too poor to have a computer, but I would often rent games from there to take to a friends house knowing that I could simply copy the game and have a permenant copy. They even packed the Feelies in with the floppies as you rented so you could photocopy them. And it wasn't just games, I helped my friend upgrade to MS-DOS 6 after renting it. Then proceeding to ruin his whole File Allocation Table when attempting to use MS-DOS 6's new fancy compression system. But it was okay, all we had to do was re-rent DOS and Windows (For Work groups of course, since we were determined that it was somehow better.

And if renting software wasn't enough, if you were a regular customer the clerk would offer to make you a copy on the sly for an extra five bucks. This was the early nineties, so it wasn't like people were ignorant of the ethics and slash or laws of copying. Hell, the infamous Don't Copy That Floppy was required viewing in my elementary school.
posted by mediocre at 2:16 PM on April 13, 2013 [4 favorites]

If you make it to the end of the game, you get to save an overweight, chain-smoking drag queen named Princess Paunch, who celebrates by lighting Black Cat firecrackers and throwing them at you.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:24 PM on April 13, 2013 [12 favorites]

where was the father

He was the first goomba. RIP.
posted by codacorolla at 2:25 PM on April 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

How much ketamine is one of those power up mushrooms?
posted by boo_radley at 3:32 PM on April 13, 2013

If you make it to the end of the game, you get to save an overweight, chain-smoking drag queen named Princess Paunch, who celebrates by lighting Black Cat firecrackers and throwing them at you.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:24 AM on April 14
[3 favorites +] [!]


SOLD
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:52 PM on April 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

It's not what I expected the next Final Fantasy to be like, but it's got me a hell of a lot more interested than the previous installments.
posted by ardgedee at 4:17 PM on April 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

Sad thing is, the game in the video looks about a thousand times more fun than what Nintendo has been churning out lately.

Yeah, they're just really turning out a lot of crap lately. Nothing new, unique, or original either.
posted by HostBryan at 4:49 PM on April 13, 2013 [8 favorites]

To the actual post - that's hilarious and I would easily pay for that version of Mario.

I hope it's available digitally, or at least on the inside of someone's shoe.
posted by HostBryan at 4:51 PM on April 13, 2013

Surely this would be easy enough to turn into an actual game. Have any Mefites in the New York/Pennsylvania area got a green screen? Because I would help design the fuck out of this.

(Now we're not just pirating games, we're pirating ideas about games from anti-piracy ads. Is this punk rock, am I punk rock yet, when do I get to be punk ro
posted by Rory Marinich at 4:51 PM on April 13, 2013 [5 favorites]

Oh man, everyone knows that glitches aren't allowed to leave their game. And I have the feeling Mr. Litwak is going to come by in the morning and... [makes gesture of knife slicing throat] KKKKHHHHHT!
posted by not_on_display at 5:37 PM on April 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

JHarris: "I love that kid. He should be in EVERY GAME."

Isn't that Baby Wario?
posted by symbioid at 5:38 PM on April 13, 2013

I remember the original Operation Flashpoint supposedly had this system that would detect a pirated copy of the game, and slowly degrade the game to the point of unplayability - but apparently it was really subtle, like your guns would become less accurate over time. I'm not sure if this makes any sense though - if you didn't realize it was the anti-piracy, you'd just think to yourself, "wow, this game is unplayable" and not buy the real thing.
posted by pravit at 6:01 PM on April 13, 2013

I don't really ever play games (I have said before my favorite game is After Effects) but sweet prancing Jesus I want to play this.

Butt Punching Babby is a star, I tell you!


If you make it to the end of the game, you get to save an overweight, chain-smoking drag queen named Princess Paunch, who celebrates by lighting Black Cat firecrackers and throwing them at you.


I would rather save a drag queen than a real princess.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:19 PM on April 13, 2013

HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER THIS COMMERCIAL

I remember being incapacitated with laughter whenever I saw it; I don't remember how old I was, but I remember it being lit'rally the funniest thing in the universe.

It still kinda is, really.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:09 PM on April 13, 2013

This is what a real European rip-off of Super Mario looks like. Funnily enough, because neither me nor any of my friends owned and the previous owner of my Amiga saw fit to include almost a hundred pirated games when selling the computer to us, I've never really played any Mario games but I do remember playing quite a bit of Giana Sisters. I always feel excluded when people conflate being a gamer and being nostalgic about some old Nintendo titles that I never played.
posted by Authorized User at 11:17 AM on April 14, 2013

Oh yeah...original games run well...you know, like Sim City and Diablo.
posted by varion at 2:41 PM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

There was a post not far back about the Chinese/Russian pirate scene, with many videos of strange and unknown Mario sequels which were just other Famicom games with Mario's face hacked onto the sprites. Most striking of these was The Flintstones, which seemed to be unchanged except for the title screen and Mario's face sticking out of Fred's trademark skins.

Some of these games are actually interesting. Somari, for example, looks like a shameless knockoff of Sonic the Hedgehog but with Mario in the lead role, until you realize it's running on a Famicom/NES, and it's not a bad reimplementation of Sonic's complex platforming engine. It even has Green Hill Zone's loops, which are a very challenging thing to put into a platform game.
posted by JHarris at 2:43 PM on April 14, 2013

I'm not sure why so many people are interpreting this as about game piracy (in the sense of getting the real game, but without paying). This is saying "Don't buy knock-off clones, buy the real thing". Which seems to make sense, because while I've read lots of scathing reviews about knock-offs on Android phones, iPhones, and those cheap game systems they sell in malls, I don't think I've ever read, "This fake Mario Brothers/Metroid/Pokemon knock-off is actually better than the real one".
posted by Bugbread at 10:28 PM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]